#messed
I've hoped this day would never come
But here we are and I stay numb
You hate my presence, you don't like me
The sun will never shine as brightly
As in the day when you were happy
When we were talking what can happen
I hate myself for those dumb words
And now I know that you're my world
You are so smart, you are so sweet
The better girl I will not meet
Forgive me, honey, I was dumb
Our better days are yet to come
May 28, 2025
May 28, 2025 at 3:37 PM UTC
He cannot hear
I just now realized
He's deaf to it, it's all disguised
Everything, all of it, is crystal unclear
What's up is down and what's far is near
The radio boils
The microwave sings
The telephone listens, while his ear rings
But he hasn't noticed, his ignorance is loyal
To his strange world of backwards turmoil
His eyes tear up
At the toasters dull ding
Oblivious though, to orchestral strings
Crescendoing, divinus, in joyous buildup
An Ode only heard as a course hiccup
Puts books to his ear
But hears no voice
Thumbs through jibberish, but his hands hold Joyce
The steak tastes like spam and the wine of beer
He's deaf to it, all of it, everything I fear
He runs in squares
And lounges in circles
Tears down hopes, and builds up hurdles
Will flail in shallow water and fall up stairs
Then write love letters to hate-affairs
Has two left feet
And no right moves
His rhythm and soul have lost their groove
It's tragic, greek, a heart that offbeat
Might mistake victory and chance for fate and defeat.
He's wrong. What's more?
He's oxymoronic
His light-hearted prose are mostly sardonic
Wouldn't know an apple from an adonic core
Or discordant beats from euphonic score.
He's deaf to it,
Yes ears and all.
Despite what words I might here scrawl.
It will never get through to that dumb misfit
He's deaf and blind and full of ****
Apr 6, 2021
Apr 6, 2021 at 1:06 AM UTC
Here’s a catch-twenty-two
You’re ****** up when you’re ****** up
****** up when you’re not
Jun 19, 2020
Jun 19, 2020 at 3:51 PM UTC
Dark, Filthy Useless Trash, my name is Mishka Ways,
Say hello, say bye, im here to change your days,
Mind it all, mind it not, you will feel the rays,
Mind it all, mind it not, and you will see how he slays….
My mind is dark and an eerie creep,
I have had dreams of children hiding, then being snatched from a single peep,
I have seen nightmares of ghouls staring at one in a sounding sleep,
I suffer from light, i suffer from joy, there is mold, in the heart in the deep….
I have claws of truth and claws of keys,
My keys are golden and lead the way to the door,
I have an eye which knows the door and light never sees,
My flesh is gone, my mind is strange, darkness calls me a *****
My voice is dead my voice is dark, it has no tone,
Were has the light gone to, where is the darkness that i own?
I stare with green hiding eyes, i sit atop of my rusty ****** throne,
My mind is a whole new world, a whole new life, it is said you will never reach the zone….
I have no heart, there is no beat, i have no kindness in my name,
I have stood before a demon, a ghoul, a fallen angel, and i love them all the same,
I am dark and eere, i sit in the dark room and play Blue Whale, a dark little lovely game,
I have felt light, felt happiness, felt the tears of joy, when in my heart the devil came….
~Mishka Wayz~
Mar 9, 2020
Mar 9, 2020 at 2:09 AM UTC
Maybe it's not
The world's best idea
To drive down today
And go to a **** beach
Jul 26, 2019
Jul 26, 2019 at 2:17 PM UTC
I'm having one of those days,
where nothing seems alright.
My head's stumbling like its in the ******* maze!
And I'm losing in every fight.
What the **** is going on?
Feels like the water is flowing backwards,
The gravity pull is upwards.
Seems like everything is messed up.
Oh what a shame
Don't know when it all began.
You play all your mind game,
Trying to put all your blame,
On ME!!
Pretending that you were here for me,
Offering me your helping hand.
You tried to serve and feed me,
Only what's good for you.
I swallowed it whole,
But now I'm spitting it back on you!
I've drowned in your shadow,
So dark and deep!
Couldn't even figure out,
If I'm fake or real!
You sold me out, knocked me down,
Stabbed me on the back,
Soaked my heart in gasoline
And burned it down!
Now I could care less,
Coz my head is full of ******* rage!
Oh my vision has turned red,
So you better runaway.
Yeah you better be scared,
When my eyes are furious and red.
Had enough of your stupid games,
Its my turn to make you pay!
Nov 18, 2018
Nov 18, 2018 at 10:21 AM UTC
if only i was my old self
i didn’t need to worry much
just had homeworks and tests
thats all
the new me
the changed me
the messed up me
that now knows everything
loneliness
fear
trauma
and everything else
that changed the light into darkness
changed the happy me
the pure innocent me
the old me..
that was carefree
Aug 31, 2018
Aug 31, 2018 at 12:52 AM UTC
Stuck in reverse tonight,
Can't stop my feeling of guilt,
I know you right here beside me TJ,
I'm sorry it's my fault,
I just chilled in the trench,
I sent you out,
Didn't think you wouldn't make it back,
Man what a life I lived,
No one will understand,
Of all the sin I have created,
I keep it all under lock and key,
However tonight i might spill it all
If I do then noting changes,
If i do ill just go back to hell
but if I don't,
Then you might just stay,
Talk about friends for life...
Aug 14, 2018
Aug 14, 2018 at 11:38 PM UTC
You're the only one I want
You're the only one I need
The sun that gave me light
The moon that stays with me every night
Wanting to be beside you everywhere you go
Because of the my fear that you'll suddenly let go
I'm afraid of you letting go of me
But terrified of you letting go of yourself
If I ever run out of things I could say
Remember that I'll still be here to listen and stay
Even if you undergo any kind of change
My feelings for you will still be the same
Mar 28, 2018
Mar 28, 2018 at 11:32 PM UTC
When you tell me that you love me
Do you really mean you love that I am so reckless and lacking of compassion
When you tell me that you love me
Is it really you saying that you love how long I let you keep your hands wrapped around my throat when we are tossing around in my sheets at 3 AM
When you tell me that you love me
Do you really mean you love that I am so cold and so bitter and so devoid of feeling for anyone other than my own, selfish self?
When you tell me that you love me
Is it really you lying and saying you love me just because you know I could never love you back?
Jan 20, 2018
Jan 20, 2018 at 1:18 AM UTC
My ceiling stares back at me as I yawn
My eyelids feel heavy yet I can't sleep
Yet here I am, wide awake
01:00 - The usual time
02:00 - The new normal
03:00 - I might miss my alarm if I don't sleep
I stare at my ceiling as I think
My thoughts are jumbled
Messed up, unclear
04:00 - Is there a point in sleeping at all
05:00 - Barely any sleep time left now
06:00 - An hour until I hear the song
Now there's no point at all
I rub my eyes and I yawn
Yet another sleepless night
Nov 21, 2017
Nov 21, 2017 at 4:43 AM UTC
In a nutshell you are the ocean
And I am a toy boat
Caught in the waves
We collided and I was sent rolling . . .
Rolling
MDMA, lovers speed
You taste good but you could **** me
My personal brand of ectasy
Or maybe you're LSD
You changed me
The chemicals in my brain
Will never be the same
I'm stained
Acid psychosis
Too many doses
But what I like most is
You running through my veins
I marked the needle with your name
You're the flame under the spoon
One pin-prick takes me to the moon
It's over too soon
Then I'm jonesing
Can't stand to be alone see,
But time is pretty crystals
A quarter is too pricey
Days go by and I'm spun out
Strung out
Hard to find time when the sun's out
What can I say, I guess I'm a ******
Losing my mind when you leave me
But the high is like no other
We might **** each other
It's out of control
But your eyes are the color of my soul
And I want you to stay
**** please don't walk away
Just one more hit and I'll be there
Don't go, just say you care
And I'll keep nodding
Brain rotting
Veins buzzing
That good loving
I need you
Nov 20, 2017
Nov 20, 2017 at 11:04 AM UTC
You played the Joker,
I was the Queen of Hearts.
But I didn't know the deck was filled with false cards.
You were the Magician.
And Me as the assistant.
A swish of dust and I went cold,
distant.
Did you really think you could win me back?
I'm not as simple as pulling white rabbits out of black top hats.
No,
I'm not planning on
the great escape,
No,
I'm not buying anymore of your
Mind Games.
Sep 30, 2017
Sep 30, 2017 at 8:13 PM UTC
You knew I was broken
You knew I couldn't take more loss
You knew I was holding to you
Like a drowning man
Clinging to driftwood.
And still you left me.
You said I was needy
You said I was clingy
You said I wasn't strong enough alone
You said it was my fault.
And you said those things with ease.
Well it's been a while.
And I thought I'd get better.
But I didn't.
You ****** me up...
Or maybe I did that to myself.
Jul 28, 2017
Jul 28, 2017 at 10:36 PM UTC
Having anxiety can make yourself selfish and confusing,
You want people to understand without you telling them.
But in other way,
You keep asking yourself
'how am i supposed to tell them when i don't even know it self?'
Jun 22, 2017
Jun 22, 2017 at 10:23 PM UTC
He likes to come back when I least expect it and sometimes I wonder if it's because its familiar or if it's the sheer fact we are both missing something in our lives.
He likes to tell me when he's drunk and filled with lust -- and because I'm lonely I get off knowing I'm on his drunken mind.
He likes to tell me the things he would do if I was in the same room- but we both know that's just drunken words and actions always speak a little louder.
He's clumsy with words, but also eloquent enough to get me hot.
His tongue plays tricks.
His lips speak riddles meant for only me to solve.
I think somewhere deep down he knows we aren't good for each other and that my heart lies with another man.
I think somewhere within he numbs the fact I've broken his heart numerous times simply to get off.
I think somewhere in his heart... he knows I'm no good for him.
But those lips speak riddles against my skin.
His tongue leaves my body crawling for more.
One day he will stop calling and we will be left with clumsy words and broken memories.
Jun 15, 2017
Jun 15, 2017 at 6:59 PM UTC
Because yes,
You are the reason I have these problems, these scars on my wrists and thoughts in my head. My unspoken horror in the night, but you used to be the one to read me to sleep. Like a boy with a magnifying glass, you tried to do everything you can to doubt me, put me over the edge and put a suicide to the front of my mind.
It’s not that you’re mean, horrid or cold-hearted
It’s just that you are only as ****** up as the rest of it, but too clever to see.
Myself, too kind to let him show it, because I was the one who stayed,
Who stayed and held your hand
Who removed the knife and wiped the blood away.
But you never noticed me, sitting there on the floor. An ant on the pavement, as the boy with the magnifying glass cowers over, my life in his fragile hands.
You were once my dad, but I fear you have but become a shell of your former self, and unrecognisable memory of a happy man who is covered in grief and layers of dirt in the form of depression, built up long ago from a broken home.
So, no. I can’t blame you.
You and I are in the same sinking ship, but only one can swim and you always got sea sick. Sick of my company, sick of me.
Jun 10, 2017
Jun 10, 2017 at 3:34 AM UTC
All these words,
All these feelings,
I'm a madman
Yelling at mirrors
Scrabble pieces mixed up,
Fifty-Two cards shuffled,
I'm ******* insane
I don't know reality anymore
May 2, 2017
May 2, 2017 at 5:33 PM UTC
*** *** *** ba-dum da-dum]
The Cuck walked up to the cocktail stand
and he said to the man running the stand...
"HEY!" *** *** *** "Got any *****
The man said "Go away you filthy perv."
"Cocktails is all I've ever served!"
"Why don't you take a hike?"
The Cuck said "Go ***** a ****
The he strutted away! [struttin' struttin']
He gotta get paid! [by the hour]
Gotta go to work! [at Trump Tower]
... 'Til the very next day.
*** *** *** *** *** ba-dum da-dum]
The Cuck walked up to the cocktail stand
and he slapped his **** onto the stand...
"HEY!" *** *** *** "Got any *******
The man balled his fists and said...
"Why don't you go get a pocket toy and ***** that you filthy pervert who can't get laid so he comes and bothers the cocktail man because he has no game!
How about you go to another bar and stop acting LAME!"
The Cuck said "Your sister wasn't lame."
Then he zipped up his pants [waddle waddle]
as he strutted away [got the zipper stuck]
but that's all okay [showing off the package]
Till the very next day.
*** *** *** *** *** ba-dum da-dum]
The Cuck walked up to the cocktail stand
and he said to the man running the stand...
"HEY!" *** *** *** "Got any ******
The man got ****** then he started to smile.
"Come on, fellow! I bet you haven't had ***** in a while."
Then they strutted away [my **** itches]
but that's okay [they don't care they're *******
watch out for snitches [shut yo **** mouth]
'Till they arrived at the trap house
*** *** *** *** *** ba-dum da-dum]
"Here you go sir, she'll make your **** stir
She's even got a sister you can **** next to her!"
The Cuck's mind began to go....
"How about.... no!"
"But I like this place...
It makes my heart race...
and it would bring me joy....
it would make my day...
do you think we could...
do you THINK we could...
double team your wife so you don't have to pay?!"
Then he scrambled away! [zipping up his pants]
The man was angry in a trance! [hope he tied his shoes]
He even left the ***** [why'd you do that]
Instead he ******* the Cat.
*** *** *** *** *** ba-dum da-dum]
Jan 4, 2017
Jan 4, 2017 at 9:43 PM UTC
Another moment
Another thought
Can't stop it
Thinking of you
All your words
All your twinkling
Bright mind
Beautifully entwined
Our broken souls
Please be okay
I'm so sorry
Another moment
Another thought
Can't stop it
Thinking of you
All your passion
All your embrace
Heart of gold
Adorable girl
Our broken souls
Another moment
Please be okay
please be okay
please be okay...
Dec 31, 2016
Dec 31, 2016 at 12:18 AM UTC
such a mixed up,
messed up soul
murky eyes full
of hearts she stole
with empty hands
she gives her all
seeking the climb
so she feels the fall
Nov 14, 2016
Nov 14, 2016 at 10:14 AM UTC