#mentalillnes
Undue pressure to confront my inner demons,
Will I stand and face these horrific cretins?
Inorganic matter conjured by cranial inefficiency,
These beastly apparitions habitually make me queasy.
Uprooting many temporary holds of my sanity,
Deep seated abominations of my own grotesque vanity.
Insidious claws beckon me to the bubonic abyss,
A wolf in sheep's clothing; a two-faced mistress.
For beneath my carapace there dwells an eerie land,
Haphazardly I slip into necromantic sand.
May 2
May 2, 2026 at 6:32 PM UTC
When my skin shivers
at the touch of iron bars,
Then with a little smile
I hide under a blanket with no shine.
Here, it's warm,
Whether it's day or night,
But sometimes,
it feels warmer,
When on my skin lands an unknown light.
But…
That brightness must be ugly.
I am only meant to see beauty,
and darkness is the most beautiful of all.
That’s why they blindfolded me, isn’t it?
In this vast and ugly world,
this cold cell keeps me from being lost,
And this kindness aches my heart the most.
Mar 20
Mar 20, 2026 at 2:37 AM UTC
I am in so much pain
I need somebody to **** me
I've tried and failed many times
They took my pills and noose away
I'm hurting so bad
Help me
Help me
I can't bare it any longer
It feels like I'm being torn apart from the inside out
I can't help it
**** me please
I need to rest
I just need a moment without the mental pain
It never stops it really never stops and I can't bare it anymore I can't live like this any longer
Help me
The demons are too big
They are killing me inside
They don't see how sick I am
They never see it
They trust me to be alone but I can't be alone because I will end my suffering on my own
I need to stop this pain
It's killing me
Help
Caer Caer Caer Caer
Help me it's killing me
I feel so alone
I am so alone right now I can't feel like this any longer
**** me please
Please please please end my suffering
Before it's too late and they take the full control
Jul 9, 2019
Jul 9, 2019 at 4:47 PM UTC
I smell like the cigarette that I put out on my skin
The sting's still there
It turned to a bright red spot before it went black
I smell like the **** that I smoked
I need it to keep the voices quiet
It turns my thoughts into clouds and my mood into water
I smell like the liquor I drank
I need it to feel alive
I need it to feel like I am somebody
I smell like the blood seeping out of my fresh cuts
I need it to stay calm
Without it I would lose myself in the eye of a noose
Why do I need all these things to make me feel like I am somebody? Without them I turn into my biggest demons and I can't face myself for a second being like that. Why can't I just be like everyone else and find pleasure instead of escape in atleast 3 of these things. Why can't I stop being me?
Jul 9, 2019
Jul 9, 2019 at 4:37 PM UTC
Just incase no one told you today:
•you are loved
•your thoughts matter
•you matter
•you are brave
•you are smart
•you are beautiful
•you are capable
•you can do this
•it does get better
•it's okay to cry
•you'll make it out of this
•the sun will shine again
And most importantly
•you matter, you matter and this world needs you and don't ever let anyone or anything make you believe otherwise.
Apr 16, 2019
Apr 16, 2019 at 4:13 PM UTC
And I find it so hard to search for words to say
That my sanity went down the drain
Like the leftover soap seeping off my hair
It stings my eyes and turns me blind
The monster picks the moment like a greedy child picking a flower
It closes my throat so oxygen is a word I can't remember anymore
Thoughts drip down my body and I find myself drowning in the condensed walls of my mind
With damp fingers I try to reach for a strategy
But I seem to have lost my sanity
Mar 7, 2019
Mar 7, 2019 at 6:09 AM UTC
I want to tear my skin apart
I want to rip the pieces of my body off my soul and create something beautiful
I want to feel seeping wounds close up and I want to feel the tightness of them healing
I want my bones to snap like sticks
And my teeth to break like bricks
I want the taste of life on my tongue when the pain numbs my body
I want to feel
Mar 2, 2019
Mar 2, 2019 at 2:47 PM UTC
She was a shadow of her own mind
A pitch black hole in the air
When people looked at her the hope that she'd come back would fade away
She was a crack in a perfectly fine mirror
Nobody seemed to notice it at first, but it eventually got annoying to look
She was a papercut in her family's finger
A small stripe of blood and biterness in a beautiful surface that shouldn't be touched
She was broken but all she worried about was how it affected the people around her. And nobody seemed to take a needle to stitch the pieces back together
Feb 8, 2019
Feb 8, 2019 at 10:36 AM UTC
She plays violin on her wrists
Sinfully beautiful symphonies appear on her skin
Like paper sheets her blood will flow
With eyes determined on the price
She watches the last bit of her soul seep out of her wounds
A lonely sound escapes her lips
The last lonely sound she'll ever make
Now she's in a different place
And replaced the violin for clouds
Feb 1, 2019
Feb 1, 2019 at 4:03 PM UTC
And he thinks it's so easy
Because he knows how to love
But I never met that feeling
I've had a dark cloud above my head and my heart for as long as I can remember
Who even am I?
My brain tells me it's perfect
But my feelings got stuck behind this wall
I can't seem to find them.
Every day I pretend. I pretend that I'm fine.
'yes I ate my dinner, yes I took my medicine, yes I love you'
These lies became a friendly play.
But the glue behind the mask is wearing off and slowly reveals the broken pieces left of me.
I don't know anymore
My brain divided itself into little fragments, hovering all over the place.
The only safetynet is myself, and I can't seem to find her.
Jan 15, 2019
Jan 15, 2019 at 2:02 PM UTC
Emotion burgeons with each passing day,
becoming indolent through exhaustion.
Calling for help imperatively,
but not being heard through a cloud so thick.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 12:28 AM UTC
3/27/2018 - 2:27am
It’s tough, you know.
When it’s 2am,
and you’ve
finally
decided
to try and get some sleep.
Then, your fear comes
in this giant wave
like you’re the shore
it’s crashing into.
It’s tough,
when you’re out shopping
for house necessities
and, your chest is
so tight,
and your hands
are trembling
because, anxiety
is so god ****
controlling,
and you have to
act like you’re totally
okay every time
you walk past
another human being
acting like
they’re totally okay.
None of us
are ever totally okay.
All of us
struggle in
personal battles
everyday.
Some
worse than others,
but for all,
it’s tough.
A.R
Mar 30, 2018
Mar 30, 2018 at 1:31 PM UTC
I have all these hearts,
but nothing to do with them.
Dec 20, 2017
Dec 20, 2017 at 9:22 PM UTC
my anxiety is killing me
how many nights i've gone through without sleep
i cannot comprehend the feeling inside
the stairs i take are too steep
my legs are weary, they won't climb up
my anxiousness drowns me in darkness, yet i'm in drought
hearts racing, thoughts running, eyes searching for something grounding
every little mistake i make makes me so jumpy
only the pills she gave me can calm it
although i chug them down my throat
my own mind says those **** won't help me that it won't cure me
and now here i am, sitting mindless and thoughtless and with nothing to hold onto
Dec 6, 2017
Dec 6, 2017 at 6:27 PM UTC
A bug-like being crawled up your spine,
Its many feet clicking on your bones.
The movement was scarcely perceptible under your barely bulging skin.
The closer he got to your brain, the faster he clicked.
His anticipation was tangible, translated into your erratic acts.
He saw your thoughts, he smelt your love.
He hungered for your sanity,
With huge, dilated, droopy eyes and a salivating mouth.
It held a long sloppy tongue, that left its sizzling slime along his path.
Upon reaching your brain stem he used his sharp incisors
To take a mouthful of your rational. It fed him.
He rejoiced, throwing his head back in malicious laughter.
With new energy, he slithered around your skull
And barged into your frontal cortex.
Your judgement forever altered, now under his command.
His delight was overwhelming. In his pleasure,
He covered your cells in his hot, heavy breath.
It was poison, acting against all remaining sensibility.
As he devoured your corpus callosum, he spawned another head.
This one small and sleek, covered in slime,
With black beady eyes.
The new head drilled to the core of you and reeked havoc
On your amygdala and hippocampus.
You are gone. You no longer remember how to feel.
He is almighty.
The movement of your limbs is no longer your own.
Your words are first conceived in his belly.
He cares about nothing but consumption and destruction.
He is starved for pain, he needs to breathe in the
Cries of those who love you the most.
You can no longer notice the beauty in
Your daughter's smile, rather you smell the tears
Resting in her eyes still so full of adoration.
Jul 15, 2015
Jul 15, 2015 at 6:30 PM UTC