#loosing
It’s 2 in the morning
and I wonder if innocence ever finds its way back.
Please, let me keep what’s left of it.
I don’t want to lose hope with it.
I was too little to understand then,
and now
I’m older, so can I have it back?
I will reach for it anyway,
even knowing it may never return.
Is it wrong to miss
the softness I once carried?
The world, the words, the wounds
they took pieces of it from me.
But somewhere deep inside,
I like to believe
I have it in me maybe it's in pieces,
But a small, quiet part still lives.
And maybe that is enough
to keep holding on
Maybe innocence doesn't return, it just waits quietly for us to be gentle with it again.
Feb 4
Feb 4, 2026 at 3:30 PM UTC
All I can think about is what I lost.
What I lost before,
What I lost in the process,
What I will loose after.
Winning doesn't count when you're consumed by your loss.
Oct 22, 2024
Oct 22, 2024 at 11:11 PM UTC
Being in constant fear of losing
At some point......
We loose the fear of loosing.
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020 at 5:56 AM UTC
Everyday the new stuff is here
And I'm loosing myself in fear!
Can't see myself anywhere,
been tormented with none of my share.
Its beyond me, can't help myself
What they shoved to my face
I cannot repair.
In all this disarray
the fragments I'm loosing of myself.
Everybody keeps on pushing forward,
but it drags behind me, in the back!
Sometimes what you cling to most
Is the one to hurt you most!
The whole world finds it easy
Am I the only one suffering?
Dec 19, 2019
Dec 19, 2019 at 10:49 AM UTC
Without you, the world is only a planet perishing anyway.
Stars are just little dots which don’t even exist anymore.
The sun is a burning ball blinding me.
Raindrops are small bullets pattering down to the ground.
The heat is the enemy trying to melt every single atom of my body
And the cold is the one trying to freeze my blood.
You are part of my heart, my inspiration, my soulmate.
Without you, I am just a machine working day by day until my engine is broken.
Dec 11, 2019
Dec 11, 2019 at 5:42 AM UTC
Now that I have been thinking about it over my sleep,
I think you are kinda like ice cream,
you are like ice cream on a very hot summer day.
you keep melting away,
but I keep taking you back,
putting you back up in the freezer.
Trying to make you like before,
at least I think I do,
but I keep losing parts of you,
Some parts of you that I love,
So tell me should I stop freezing you back
Taking you back?
Aug 3, 2019
Aug 3, 2019 at 3:13 AM UTC
I once found a rose
That drew me to it's beauty
I knew I had to take it for my own
I yearned to possess it earnestly
Without hesitation I jumped in
I grabbed it with all I have
Wanting it truly with all my heart
Praying sincerely to own it wholly
I held on to it vigourously
So that no one can steal it from me
Tightening my grasp onto it
As if I could never want anything more
I didn't mind holding on to it
I wouldn't exchange it for anything in the world
And yet others kept telling me to let go
As they saw my hands bleeding badly
I saw it before it even bled this badly
I knew that things would turn for the worst
And yet my desire took over my reason
And wounded myself from the thorns it has
As I contemplated my own pain
I saw the pain I was causing this rose
She suffocated under my grasp
She was dying under my care
I knew what I have to do
And yet I held on to it tight
Thinking that it was mine
And yet my hands said otherwise
Now I'm stuck in a dilemma
Should I still hold on and both get hurt
Or do I let go and let it grow on its own?
Do I say goodbye and just give up on it?
No matter how much I love it
If I continue this, I'll continue bleeding
And she'll continue suffocating
How do I let her go?
Mar 9, 2019
Mar 9, 2019 at 3:01 PM UTC
everyone is afraid,
afraid of loosing something,
some of money,
other of pride,
some of fame,
some of beauty,
but i am afraid,
of loosing the most
precious thing
of my life,
i am afraid
of loosing
you.............
Jan 27, 2019
Jan 27, 2019 at 10:02 AM UTC
Is hard to sleep when the mind keeps screaming
Instead of dreaming it's choosing to blur the reality a little more
Brimming with shoulds and should nots
Couldn't and could've been
But we would not succumb
Replaying the same memory of the second defeat so we don't morph into an headless hero
Ones and zeroes bounce restless in relentless persuite of the truth
You're a hero even if your greatest feat is not flinging yourself off the cliff
Everyone wants to fly but once in sky
You'll be dying to land and you land too hard you die
You're trying too hard you're not trying hard enough
Which one is it, do we take the next step of giveup
The next step is breathing
So vote maybe?
But it isn't so bad if you look closely
We're not alone but a bit lonely
In a crowd going about discredited the happening
Cutting off the threads, we can't move we're just dangling
The one thing, out if pills of sanity
Spring from attachment
We now have chose between two addictions
We'd rather be free and starve than be behind bars
So we let go
We exist at extremes
They exist in middle
We meet twice everytime
Graze by each other
A bit of refill of regret
A living reminder
We can't sleep
Can't shake the fright
The voices are back in the house
They're looking for a fight
We might let them win this time
Nov 7, 2018
Nov 7, 2018 at 11:51 AM UTC
That dormant feeling of insecurity arose,
when travel journal got ****** adjacent
to my tattered (holey tattooed) clothes
while I knew with crossed eyes
aroused anger from peaceful doze
my younger sister felt about her
globe trotting exploits, an over expose
jour ever since voyaging out on her own
after graduating top of her class
where mine hatred glows
indirectly snidely sneering
at ma dough less brother hoboes
(a 1979 Methacton High School alumni),
unanimously chosen valedictorian
dressed in Calvin Klein
Harris tweed, couture
and silk ***** hose
like me prolonging, promoting
on par with quasi staff sergeant, who knows
artful disciplinarian gingerly launching
Cider House rules,
asper formerly commanding G.I. Joes
and pronouncing, predilection
exhaling natural highs no lows
traveling solo, with surviving Wilburys,
or just mows
zing nonchalantly
(though a foreigner) with swarthy skin color
easily camouflaging as civilian
all points on the compass,
where minute needle doth nose
upon returning home (being honorably feted
at once glorious estate of Glen Elm,
where she did propose
to the Lord Taylor (swiftly), which location
situated at 324 Level Road, Collegeville,
Pennsylvania 19426),
thence a great huzzah a rose
an immediate nauseousness welled
within from me head tummy smelly toes
I did not want to here, or see any details,
which would accentuate personal woes
popping, snapping, and smarting,
and slapping skin raw tib bits,
ache'n to yanked strings
of mama's heirloom yo-yos!
Poet Script:
trials and tribulations,
visited upon head of young
concocted ("FAKE") gusty and gutsy
kid sister enterprising ingenue,
christened easy on the tongue
Sharodd (not her real name),
to top off talents sung
like a professional opera singer, which rung
a shiver along small hairs of spine did tingle
heard all the way to Lake Woebegone
where bachelor farmers did mingle
every Christmas, a decreasing
number donned Kris Kringle
hit with blitzkrieg of yawping brats
hoof pranced to bell weather jingle!
Jun 24, 2018
Jun 24, 2018 at 1:33 AM UTC
Oh Brother,
On your quests always so diligent
To accomplish what you seek
My efforts remain negligent
My body tired and weak
Though we share the same blood
And grew up in the same hood
Your mind found its way
Among words to stay
While mine got away
So foggy and stray
Our hearts,
Stepping out of the same closet
Yours fueling your strive
Mine consuming to survive
Yours building a mindset
Mine still looking for an outset
Oh Brother,
You ran to a land faraway
Just when I found I could relate
So I used this gateway
To be able to articulate
For expressing myself face to face
Would only unwholesomely convey
What my mouth could no longer retain
Oh Brother,
What should I do to snap out
Of this prone position, so tightly bound ?
I’ve wiped my tears and shout
But still can't loose the pound
And this obsession with loosing
Got me trapped into this tunnel
Vision of Gideon
Where can I find you?
Is it a person?
I need a clue
Give me the cue
Feb 12, 2018
Feb 12, 2018 at 11:09 AM UTC
Blood,
Blood,
That's what I need,
Blood,
Blood,
That's what I'm loosing,
Don't fret it will be over soon,
Blood,
Blood,
So black cherry red,
So pure,
Blood,
Blood,
So black cherry red,
So Tainted...
Nov 24, 2017
Nov 24, 2017 at 4:08 AM UTC
Of all vice in the world under discipline
Laziness – a Curse - is like a Saccharin.
Sweet as pipe, sonorous as violin
Wicked as a snake, ill-mannered as Bedouin;
Laziness creeps in secretly body within
And remains there undisturbed and akin.
It is seen when duty or slog does spin
Grinds us till in others found Lenin.
But that is a bad time as made us thin.
Hence precaution must be taken, O Kin!
Laziness, a Bad King, should not reign
Over us from beginning to let out jinn.
Of all vice in the world under discipline
Laziness – a Curse - is like a Saccharin.
Aug 13, 2017
Aug 13, 2017 at 8:40 AM UTC
They tell me
choose, choose, choose
and I hide, because I'll
loose, loose, loose
if I
choose, choose, choose
I always do.
Dec 8, 2015
Dec 8, 2015 at 5:19 PM UTC
It's not of how be the door,
But be of moments made by those sleepeth in depth,
One is said to have failed to sleep,
Christ, The Messiah.
Death now did mourn,
And mourning became first away from man,
To us, It comes so slender,
Sweeping breath out of bodies,
Souls lay hanging helpless of deed,
What's left of them is being Ghosts,
Be it to Earth remaining,
Or to Heaven ascending.
Words untold, Deeds shall speak,
The art of thine Legacy shall say for thee,
You are the littlest master of your past,
But be thee the significant creator of thy morrow.
Live before your light dies out,
Or yet die before your light burns you.
Sep 12, 2015
Sep 12, 2015 at 12:59 PM UTC
Am I loosing myself?
Or did I years ago?
Is that why I feel so empty inside?
Aug 7, 2015
Aug 7, 2015 at 5:06 PM UTC
Towers tumble, egos fall
My house, is on fire
But I will not get there
Chest squeezing in despair
My heart is breaking
The ropes are slipping
And life is disappearing
Just keeps on racing
Been such a fool
Always born a tool
Paddled and paddled but
Yet so wasteful, in my toil
I had to spoil
Just missed the bus
There goes my train
The enemy scores again
Though my legs how insane
Keep on falling
My heart is calling
A tumble ****
Just keeps on rolling
Spent so long
Looking for answers
In places that had none
The harder I try
The more I cry
As I am suddenly awoken
surrounded by costume
An actors changing room
Never learnt my words
But there is a
Blissful realization
When you see your
Life just slipping
Out of site, far away
Down the drain
As abandoned waters are lifted
A myriad of moonlight sparkles
Scattered sent shimmering
Cascading across my waters
I feel no need in responding
When I am humbled
powerless out of control
My life vanishing
A black hole
A dark void
I have to ask did I loose
my life or did I just
Serendipitously
just FIND IT
Mar 28, 2015
Mar 28, 2015 at 1:18 AM UTC
I want this so bad
winning would be nice this time
please let this work out
Feb 21, 2015
Feb 21, 2015 at 5:54 PM UTC
With head bowed I kneel before thee
And ask for forgiveness and sympathy
The distance and silence is killing me
Making my heart weep like a willow tree
Fearing the loss of your friendship and beauty
I will suffer to no end if this is our destiny
Sending me a message would make me so happy
Une petite minute de vous, pourrais me sauver la vie
Jan 17, 2015
Jan 17, 2015 at 9:28 PM UTC
Sometimes we win, sometimes we loose.
Some people are all about winning,
but what these souls don't know
is that you win so much more by loosing.
**** perfect,
being a mess is golden!
Just turn the magic **** button on
and follow your heart, your gut, your intuition, whatever,
they are all the same thing.
Not giving a **** to what other people think is a superpower!
If you are good, be good.
If you are bad, be bad,
but please, be you!
People are like designer bags,
there is nothing worse than fake.
I've lost "everything" and was reborn from the ashes more times than I though I could handle,
I've made ten thousand heartbreaking mistakes,
and out of all this things I've done,
I love me better NOW.
Aug 21, 2014
Aug 21, 2014 at 5:42 PM UTC
Just give me a reason,
to get my heart beating.
As the world falls apart around us,
all we can do is hold on
and take my hand.
I'd risk everything for you,
reaching into the denial,
risking loosing my mind.
Just reach for my hand.
You might call me crazy,
but I'd stand on the edge,
till there's nothing left,
waiting for the end.
Say another word,
because I doubt I could hear you,
with the silence between us.
Just reach for my hand.
I'd do anything for you,
while asking "why are you such trouble?"
From our first kiss,
your eyes held wide...
(why were they open?)
Just give me a reason,
to get my heart beating.
As the world falls apart around us,
all we can do is hold on
and take my hand.
Just reach for me.
Aug 19, 2014
Aug 19, 2014 at 11:11 AM UTC