#lonly
I had this dream last night, I was floating endlessly, it was cold and dark. No one was there, it was so lonely, as I floated in the endless darkness. Floating and floating, on and on I went, never ceasing to drift. Till my body sunk, and I drown, in this self made dark abyss.
Sep 27, 2024
Sep 27, 2024 at 7:18 PM UTC
Dark
“the absence of light”
~~~~~~~~~
I prefer the dark,
Because in the dark I’m hidden away from the judgmental eyes.
In the dark I’m able to write stories without them saying it’s a waste of time,
In the dark I’m able to dance without them pushing me to my demise.
The shadowy shade brings a alluring peace that fogs my mind,
An a sinister melody blocks out there snake-ish lies.
The creatures that wander in this void are my only form of joy,
They whisper bitter stories about there life, which I found funny because it’s the way they died.
After the stories they send me to the “angels facade” an hope I don’t get buried because of they’re tranquil lies 🍮
Mar 29, 2021
Mar 29, 2021 at 1:38 AM UTC
Sometimes the only escape is to fall asleep ,,maybe for sometimes or for a lifetime
Mar 11, 2021
Mar 11, 2021 at 8:43 AM UTC
My body still
My mind amok
I found myself consumed by thoughts,
Thoughts I wish I'd rather hadn't
For I can't sleep as they run rampant,
My mind hunts down and strikes my soul
It strips me of my only role,
If I find sleep; when will I wake,
Is it then I'll know what choices to make?
Feb 16, 2021
Feb 16, 2021 at 9:46 AM UTC
Hi, I'm really lonely and kinda sad...again. and I really miss you... again. Wow, jeeze I sound so desperate for attention I wish I had attention. I wish I wasn't so lonely all the time. Did you leave me? Did you finally decide the best way to get rid of me was to ignore me all together?Did you finally get out of the pit and decided to walk away and leave me all alone with no way of coming out of the pit myself? I'm all alone now. Staring at the spot you used to sit shamelessly wishing you were there. We're you ever there tho? Did you ever love me? Or was it just another game? Is that why you left? Because I became boring? Were you lying every single time? It broke me you know, tore me to shreds, do you know what the worst part is? I have hope. False hope that I gave myself.
"Remember when we carved are name in the stars, it was special. I hope you feel that way too" cute, huh? It's probably for another girl, another game, another dream. I'm dramatic, I'm in love, without you, it kinda ***** I wish more than anything that you would call me right now. Or text. Or email. Or signal. Or write. Summon? But you won't. Because your gone. You left and I have to deal with it, you got over me and I sat there helping you leave It's so funny to me how you would always try so hard to get out of love, I would help you but you never noticed that I was still there I just stayed there and would not move I still don't want to get out of love with you because once im out it's only a matter of time before I fall in love with someone else and my heart gets broken again, I can handle a little bit of pain and lonelyness and heartache and everything that comes with it but I really can't handle more hope and more love and then losing it again just like that. Being hopeless is the best way to stay okay
Feb 16, 2020
Feb 16, 2020 at 3:55 PM UTC
Wasn't the one that fit in,
table to myself, an ocean
of pressed wood
that I float on alone....
But...
You know there's always a but,
Never really wanted
anyone
on
my life raft of solitude.
I just look up and know
that
there's
no one to obscure
my view of life...
My ocean is a fishery of thoughts,
that are mine.
Swimming into
uncharted life choices...
But I'm fine alone,
I'll talk to the fishes
every now
and then.
But throw them back
when
I've finished with them..
Aug 31, 2020
Aug 31, 2020 at 5:56 PM UTC
I know you, you´re like this
I know it´s not on me
but somedays I just wish
I just wish to make you happy
Because you make me happy
and I know it´s not on me
but somedays I just wish
I just wish you didn´t
So I will try my very best
and I know it´s not on me
but somedays I just wish
I just wish we were happy
Aug 20, 2020
Aug 20, 2020 at 1:26 AM UTC
My voice breaks
and tears begin to fall
and for your own sake
I will build this wall
And when the night sets in
these walls break down
I can feel it under my skin
when no ones around
I want to be high
so I don't need to think
dissolve into the sky
please hand me the drink
Aug 20, 2020
Aug 20, 2020 at 1:19 AM UTC
This Girl
made of honey and glass
Her hair
like flowers in the grass
This Girl
which laugh is a delight
Her smile
like the sun so bright
This Girl
tastes like cigarettes and wine
Her eyes
believe it´s the way they shine
This Girl
scared in the dark at night
Her Heart
once broken but ready to fight
Aug 20, 2020
Aug 20, 2020 at 1:17 AM UTC
I'm crying in my room at 2 AM.
Again.
Don't take frizzy hair and midnight cuddles for granted, they leave when you least expect.
When I'm not thinking I get lost in your sweet cottin candy eyes.
And I know it's not for me, those cottin candy eyes and midnight curls.
Still I'll wish for starry kisses and porkipine nights.
Still I'll miss the Cold soda filled drinking from the hose and laughing till Sunday.
Im not the religion filled lightshow, that you said I was one day. I can't help but wish I could be me how you see me.
You have a strawberry swirl sundae and I'm happy you can keep it.
My mint chocolate chip still breaks my teeth every night I try to lick it off the floor
I'm happy for you and him
For him and you.
So don't look back at my flickering lights just walk away with your strawberry banana sundae, I'll be okay.
Mar 23, 2020
Mar 23, 2020 at 2:46 PM UTC
Julia what a grievous injustice you did to me, a
Pariah you've create when you stole my heart; a
Messiah it's to me for it house my light Like
Jeremaiah the prophet I will lament with a
terrible sob; I will flood my cheeks with tears till my
miserable self follows sleep to the world of darkness. Oh!
Adorable Julia has flee with my merriment so no more
laughable cloud on my horizon only a memory of a
Fickle lover that stole my joy and flee within a
twinkle of an eye like the stars in the sky: what a
miracle it's she has left my soul behind I will
Buckle it up and give it to the company of my
solitude where he will reflect on past deeds and
attitude that makes other souls shook and recoil in
multitude because of the touch of evil darkness and the
magnitude of it in my empty pariah's heart and life.
Jun 30, 2019
Jun 30, 2019 at 7:21 AM UTC
I just want someone to understand
Understand the pain of waking up every morning to ******** that breaks me down to nothing.
Understand the loneliness I suffer from because my mother can't see the hugs she hasn't given me since I was 6
Understand the scars on my wrists that I did to myself cause I have zero self control.
Understand that I need to be sure your not going to leave me because it's so hard to meet people due to my social anxiety.
Understand that I've gone through a lot and when some days I'm off and seem sad it's because my life doesn't seem to get any better.
Understand that I don't want to hear his name or hear anything of him because he left me I didn't leave him and if he wanted me back for a daughter he could have came back.
Understand if I say I'm dead, great, or fine that I'm slowly contemplating my life and that I don't really want to talk about my problems.
Understand that when I try and talk to you I really want to talk to you and that you may mean alot to me and alot is more than some people can get.
Dec 31, 2018
Dec 31, 2018 at 4:44 AM UTC
Someone once told me I should write it down
just everything.
What I feel, think, everything thats on my mind.
Because when you write you´re the most honest.
You don´t have to hide anything, don´t have to hold back
you can give all your feelings a place to go.
Just let it flow.
And thats what I did,
I just let it all out.
Everything that was on my mind
but in the end I realised
that all I wrote about was you.
Maybe it was because you´re stuck in my head.
Maybe it was because you really were just that special.
But most likely it was that I just didn´t know myself
so I just wrote about you instead
so here is were it´s gonna´ end
and I´ll find myself.
Sep 11, 2018
Sep 11, 2018 at 6:57 AM UTC
I just want to say good luck
To my past lives
Who now have future guys without me
I hope they treat you great
And wont procrastinate
When you need them to take out their dang socks out of the dryer.
And maybe stop leaving the window open in your mom's minivan
I rotate myself like a rotisserie chicken
So I can feel the burn of emptiness left in me.
I turn and turn
Until my mood is dire and my humor drier
From this mirage of hope.
That dissipates to the back of what's left of my crowded mind.
I find myself looking at wedding rings in pawn shops.
Knowing that I will eventually find myself back
At this exact counter adding a total to the line of wedding rings.
Like my parents before,
They bring me a bringing of upbringings
On how to fall into dislike.
Slamming doors,
Yelling,
Tears,
And talking mad ****
Are common vocabulary words for my ears
And it make me uncomfortable when it is absent.
Like this isnt right…
So I just want to say good luck.
To my future wives
Who want to live life without me
I’m sure i'll prepare you
For next guy you’ll date
And for every guy you'll hate
May 22, 2018
May 22, 2018 at 3:18 AM UTC
Walls close in
Choices walk out
Fear takes the win
Overflowing doubt
Company nonexistent
Friends only dreams
Darkness persistant
Nothing what it seems
Death looks divine
Absolutely dashing
Go for a ride
No fear of crashing
No more words
No more laughing
Nothing but shards
Survive the passing
May 13, 2018
May 13, 2018 at 8:24 PM UTC
Bang, do something tiny again
Not to much just throw the stone And pray for attention
Ill start being reckless just to be noticed
But it doesn't really make a difference when there only around for your kinred
"Performing isn't really your talent son"
"Maybe you should stay behind the stage where you belong"
Hinden away
Nothing else to say
Still its been days and days
And that protective contact is still so far away
But hey its been like this for a life time now
The middle child
Centre of it all Never the first and no where near the final
So whats this whining for
At this point why would you hope for more
They will be back with the rest of the tribe
Till then just sit around and waste that useless time
Jan 23, 2018
Jan 23, 2018 at 7:51 AM UTC
I’m tired of this drive
In this empty car
On these empty streets
To my empty apartment
With its empty walls
To go to sleep in my empty bed
To have my empty dreams
To wake up
Alone
Oct 20, 2017
Oct 20, 2017 at 3:16 PM UTC
Raspberry tea at 2:18 A.M.
is a Band-Aid to my loneliness
Apr 20, 2017
Apr 20, 2017 at 12:59 AM UTC
In the world of joy,
with the fantasy of voyage..
i'm the boy,
who is not in alloy,
that's why my heart cry...!
Why me!?
I live; but die
I do but all deny
I'm the exception!
I try,
which always makes me cry!
that's why, my heart cry...
Why me!?
I fail & fall which is so tall,
long'n'long not a ray of call......
than thy know, thy the unique one,
and the wonderful world is that cruel one!!
I the boy loves it(world) as a toy
than someone from heart cry,
so "saksh.."
You cry! You cry! You cry!
Feb 22, 2017
Feb 22, 2017 at 10:10 AM UTC
Sweet little Arial
came home to find her mother lying on the floor
she gave her a shake
pushed on her chest
but nothing woke her up.
So she laid in her arms
started to cry
as Arial spoke these words.
"Hold me mama
don't leave me
I'll stay right here by your side
as long as I am here
your soul can not depart
stay away from the light"
But as the hours went
her mothers skin went cold
her arm pulled away.
Arial stayed laid with her mother
until she was taken away and laid down to rest
never will she feel her mothers touch again
forever she will feel the pain
Oct 26, 2016
Oct 26, 2016 at 3:17 AM UTC
sitting alone under the maple, rain falling down on my head
thinking of her in a distant place, feeling her love all around
never a touch never, never a hug, only her words ever been said
how can it be this love that is true, within you that I have found
love struck, lust ensues, need to take you to my land of dreams
our land, we have found in a far away place never to be seen
only then where I know full inner peace, her inner glow beams
if this place is never to be found, then your love I must wean
wean myself off, to keep from being broken, no more hurt for me
I know the truth tho, which is forever this I truly believe is for us
passion, and love is what we have, our love is true I do now see
when I have you at last, I will make you mine I am so **** anxious
anixous to take you to my bed, lay you down and bind your limbs
place my man hood to your lips let you show me love with your mouth
your mouth takes me deep feelings of passion our love never dims
my dream, my fantasy, my love, you are my belle from the south
embrace you deeply, invade my love, with all I am take you hard
in you deep holding you tight, gyrations we feel of the night
fears fully gone, trust all I know, no longer on my guard
no guarding needed cause your love shines deep no more fright
Sometime soon you will be forever within my reach, no more distance
no more miles keeping us apart, wake every morning next to my heart.
one trait I have never had, I am now learning, with you is patience
Soon my love I will take you forever, I promise to you never to depart
listen to my song, the music I hear tonight, the music of our ***
a sweet filling I can envision as I invade you with all of me
deeply filling you ***** at last, your *** I need my muscle I flex
sweet ******** passion, we both do now feel one day my pet wait and see
Sleep engaged with love inside, heart to heart my seed buried deep
holding each other tight, to scared to ever let go of our dreams
holding you closer kiss your lips, close our eyes and drift to sleep
awake again staring at each other, perfect life, our love gleams
May 4, 2016
May 4, 2016 at 12:34 PM UTC
Their you are, passing by
Not even a look or a smile
And gone you are again
For this brief moment i felt broken and forgotten
I could feel the blood rushing to my head my heart beating like never before
All to find out that you never really cared
That our friendship was an act and my love based on lies
And now all I'm left with is why...
Dec 6, 2015
Dec 6, 2015 at 5:58 AM UTC