#livinghell
My life is weird
Nothing feels right
All that's going on in my head is a war
I sit and smile
But inside I'm screaming
Crying
Pleading
I don't know what's wrong
I want to know
Please
Dear God above
Make this stop
What's going on anymore?
Heck if I knew
Things aren't what they used to be
Can things just go back to normal?
But what is normal?
I don't know if I know what normal is
I don't think this is it though
You keep saying that you're doing what's best
Maybe for you, but not for me
I wish you could just truly see
What's going on inside of me
May 18, 2015
May 18, 2015 at 9:37 PM UTC
I knew her in youth's folly;
The fumbling hands,
The tumbling wills,
The limbs entwined kind of peace;
The dinner glances,
The unbridled dances,
Commando skirts,
Deep knee squats,
What one thinks
But will not say.
I've screamed into an empty barrel,
Ran barefoot where I shouldn't,
Slid rusty things under my nails,
Touched my eyes with sharp sticks,
Ground my teeth with electric power,
Scorched my skin beneath the shower,
Turned informer on closest friends;
Drank turpentine and kerosene,
Mercury and gasoline,
Tore my skin, rend my entrails,
And other parts clearly unseen.
Include, if you wish,
An immortal soul.
My spirit, ****** as well.
Call the prayer, sound a bell.
That was heaven,
Now is hell.
Mar 24, 2017
Mar 24, 2017 at 10:46 AM UTC
The voice in my head
Is a cruel monster
Ripping away at my brain
And filling the open wounds with horrible thoughts
As the wounds heal
I can hear his voice
Screaming out to me
Telling me murderous thoughts
When will this stop?
The pain, agony and brutality
I have no one here to help me
Because no one dares to reach their arm out
And pull me from the fires of hell
So here I am
Fighting my own battles
Day in and day out
Hoping I come out alive
When will I be okay again?
When will he leave my head?
May 6, 2018
May 6, 2018 at 9:09 AM UTC