#killme
Bury me
Like i buried the poetry in my notebooks.
**** me
Like i killed my potential.
Jan 11
Jan 11, 2026 at 10:33 AM UTC
Breathe
Breathe
Breathe
I tell myself
As I see red
And blue
The red of violence
The blue of tears
Why must it be
Every time I feel anger
The tears accompany it
I am emotion
You are detached
I have too much
And I don't know
How much longer
I can hold it all
In this fragile bomb heart
Nov 19, 2025
Nov 19, 2025 at 9:30 PM UTC
**** me,
So I don't have to do it myself.
**** me,
Cause I was too scared to ask for help,
For help that you would never give,
Because I knew you'd never forgive
Me.
Nov 18, 2025
Nov 18, 2025 at 5:34 AM UTC
I had the worst nightmare in broad daylight.
A daymare, you might say. It began with you and me curled up in our bed. I look at you still sleeping peacefully on our slow morning. The light is so soft and warm. I caress your cheek—gently so that you don't stir. A ring on my finger that looks foreign but most definitely feels right. Then I'm making us breakfast—layering fresh tomato, turkey bacon, mayo, and arugula on fresh bread. I can see it so vividly. I add feta onto yours and even more onto mine. I can't recall—did I take the food to our bed, or did we eat at the kitchen table? Anyway, I practically skip back to our bedroom to wake you up as the light envelops me whole. I'm in our home. Our home. We have a home together. You're in our bed. We share a bed. We share a life. I'm making you breakfast. We're going to spend the rest of our lives together. None of this is real. I'm awake, and for a moment it felt like the realest thing I have ever felt. Warmth and coolness touching in a sliver of time locked away in a memory. I miss our home we never had.
Aug 27, 2025
Aug 27, 2025 at 12:17 AM UTC
Can't get up
Get out
Can't think of words
Can't speak
Or write
Can't walk or move a fork
Can't give a fuvk
Much less talk
Fck
****
Fine
Fat
Freak
Fate
Fake
Fish
Flood
Failure
Final
Found
Dead
Die, dying
Death,
Need death
I must
D I E
need to
Just
FCKING DIE
Dec 24, 2022
Dec 24, 2022 at 2:26 PM UTC
absent from my life,
but dancing forever in my mind.
preserved perfectly:
idealized and beautified,
immortal, god-like.
wanting to let go,
yet holding on too tight.
memories, exaggerated:
they haunt me,
notoriously unreliable.
close my eyes;
take me back in time…
before I was bloodied by his arrow.
Oct 17, 2021
Oct 17, 2021 at 11:38 PM UTC
I get up, I get down
yelling nothing, soundless sound.
say it wrong, try again
who is she? that's my friend
**** the spider, no remorse.
say i love you till my voice is horse.
cats that bite, autumn joy.
living life like a toy.
uninspired, not okay.
brightroom sings, end of day.
Sep 28, 2020
Sep 28, 2020 at 6:06 PM UTC
Please take me
Bury me
Hurt me
Nothing can save me now
Lit to me
Play with me
Stay awake with me
Nothing can save me now
Mar 3, 2020
Mar 3, 2020 at 3:49 AM UTC
tired
so tired
of
caring
so i pretended my hair
was everything i had ever cared too much about
the stupid validation that i craved
every incessant insecurity
anyone i gave a **** about, that never looked at me twice
and
i took the clippers
and buzzed it all off
Jan 28, 2020
Jan 28, 2020 at 12:07 AM UTC
I break down in the walk-in freezer at work,
Like another piece of equipment that is just barely hanging on to life.
Serving it’s intended purpose,
Yet useless enough for everyone to let it know as much.
I don’t want to be a gas range without a pilot light anymore, no.
I no longer want to fizzle out after a long day of being used,
Only to be lit up again when someone else wants fed.
Nov 2, 2019
Nov 2, 2019 at 12:34 AM UTC
It's just a little word
But the pain really hurt
Never misjudge it
No matter how small it is
Never underestimate stress
The reason of my unwell rest
My life will be the cost
My soul will be a ghost
When stress is your daily mood
You will know the truth
That the monster is not under your bed
Instead it screams inside your head
Oct 27, 2019
Oct 27, 2019 at 12:50 AM UTC
If i don't make it through the night, don't hurt yourself. There are alot of people that can replace me.
Aug 19, 2019
Aug 19, 2019 at 8:52 AM UTC
**** me .
Just end it all .
Use those words you threw like daggers .
and aim for my heart
Finish it all.
Grab a stake
and nail me to the wall .
I’d rather feel nothing at all ,
Than to feel lost .
Mar 19, 2019
Mar 19, 2019 at 12:45 PM UTC
The best way to immortalize a piece of pain is to forget how to feel it.
Jan 26, 2019
Jan 26, 2019 at 2:33 AM UTC
‘Please **** me’
Laughing surrounds the supposed joke.
Little do they know,
It was less of a joke and more of a plea
Jan 14, 2019
Jan 14, 2019 at 7:57 AM UTC
There is no more painful love
than unrequited love
A heart that is open
pouring out to another
but an empty space
like a vacuum
with nothing in return
Like giving a gift
‘Tis better to give than receive
And the heart offers freely
all of its wonderful presents
Free of expectations
when truly filled with love
It blindly releases itself to another
With a simple creed
‘I am for you’
Like the wall of a dam
suddenly letting go
A deluge of emotions
Thoughtful, interest, caring, warmth, love
A flowing waterfall
of Niagara proportions
However, without intention
which goes without saying
since the truer the love
the blinder it be
The vacated space
creates a sudden vacuum
A sharp, deep pit left
where once all of itself was housed
For a brief time
the heart is unaware
still glowing in the warmth
from the happiness and joy
of the love it gives
But slowly the glow fades
And the presence of the empty space
becomes more obvious
and apparent
A coldness sets in
An addict looking for a fix
The heart desperately seeks
in return what it has given
Never intending to give with strings
but so it finds itself
now tied to another
with the strongest of bonds
The intense fulfilling feeling
once experienced
Replaced with anguish,
longing, loneliness and pain
The mind and heart begin
an epic civil war
Feeling the torment
and seeing the destruction
the mind invokes all its resources
to break the bonds
the heart has created
But with hope that is
almost sad and pitiful
the heart refuses to let go
So sure of the ties it made
And fighting back with all
of its might to defeat
any attempt
the mind has
to remove the bonds of love
A man at war with himself
will find himself at war with others
And so, the inner conflict
resonates outwardly
displayed aptly with defiance
and destruction
Like a pebble in a pond
each action creates ripples
Slowly at first
but then with exponential speed
a life is destroyed
leaving only a broken
and beaten shell
And after all the destruction
and loss
All of the pain and suffering
The tears and sorrow
At this moment
standing on a pile
of nothing but debris
The mind,
with a sense of arrogance
and certainty,
confronts the heart
and pointedly asks,
“Do you see now?!
Do you see the
error of your ways??
Look what it has cost us!
Do you see the
mistake you’ve made?!”
Without hesitation or waiver
the heart responds
with a steady certainty
that is calm and cool in nature,
“No. Love is a risky venture.
One always, ‘takes a chance at love’.
But I will not admit
fault for trying.
When I love
I love freely and openly
I offer all of myself
without expectations
It’s only when you get involved
and create conflict within
that we have problems
To love is to love
It brings joy and happiness within itself
If it is not returned
then it is not returned
but an open and loving heart
can not feel emptiness and pain for it is filled with love
And there is no greater reward
than finding that love in another
and having another
find that love
in you
Nov 8, 2018
Nov 8, 2018 at 11:32 AM UTC
Dear friends its been a while!
I can't believe
It took so long to reconcile.
So often it feels like
I'm only giving off a profile.
so I must say
I’ve missed your smile.
I've been thinking lately
(And you know how
My thoughts can be deadly)
That maybe I
Am lost again already.
I’ll swallow my pride this time
And ask for help before I go crazy.
I can't feel my emotions.
Every other obstacle feels like
a toss into the deepest of oceans.
And no matter what I do
Its like I’m only going through the motions.
It's so hard to be around people
Without feeling like my mind and body are prisons
Help me, please
I don't want to be alone anymore but
this is the only place I feel at ease.
I feel sicker than before now,
How can I cure my self of this disease?
All my efforts drain me.
Why would my heart have a lock without keys?
I am so sorry
I'm working through some
of this explosive self-fury.
I hope you can forgive me
and save yourself some worry
because I know to ask now and besides:
it's not as bad as it could be.
Oct 25, 2018
Oct 25, 2018 at 9:45 PM UTC
Isn't it insane
that mental
and physical
are so intertwined
through pain?
Slice your wrists
when you're numb
you won't feel a thing
If you are truly numb
a cut with a blade
is painless
then slowly
as the euphoria subsides
a dull throbbing begins
it's quiet at first
if you listen too hard
it's not there at all
then as the night goes on
and the high is gone
you feel everything
each slice
each word
and at that moment
all you want
is for the numb to return
Eventually
the wounds begin to heal
they don't hurt like they used to
And you are renewed
a blank canvas
null of emotion
and you pick up the blade again
for all that you want now is the pain to return
to paint your paper red
and to feel everything
once more;
Oct 1, 2018
Oct 1, 2018 at 8:48 PM UTC
A sad story
Is drawn upon my wrist
Because
I don't want to exist
My thoughts are toxic
I've given up talking
Because no one listens
and no one is watching
as my mind destroys
what's in my heart
And all this poise
was a lie from the start
I want to die
And yet I'm stuck in my mind
Please let me resign
from this excuse for a life.
Sep 24, 2018
Sep 24, 2018 at 7:50 PM UTC
"He was not unwhole, merely bent and jaded. And though he held nothing but love for those around him, the darker details bled through. Hindered from an honest delivery of his gratefulness and his grievance, he withdrew into himself.
The darker facets fulfilled his quiet desires of complexity but cost him his emotional presence; cold but comfortable.
He lost his happiness, his memories,
His charm, and above all else,
He lost his time.
His eyes grew sad,
His fingers wrinkled.
Though his eyes remained sharp,
His heart had been lost to atrophy.
Another person to love more than anyone could love him, is what he wanted, but never got.
To fall in love again was the escape,
An open and powerful rebellion against the vast sorrow that imprisoned him.
And so he tried his hand, sad eyes sought for someone to pour into.
He found none, but some found him.
Twisted and attractive, they wove together long conversations and hints of double meanings. They even almost learned how to care, but didn't.
Even among those he wished only to love, and only to gift,
He could never feel free.
For they hated him,
And so did he."
Sep 22, 2018
Sep 22, 2018 at 3:17 PM UTC
Drink until I give up
Drink until I die
I've done my share
I've tried to save
But now I say goodbye
Aug 13, 2018
Aug 13, 2018 at 6:42 PM UTC