#jealously
The love I had for you
Made the Gods jealous
But the pain you gave me
Made the Devil laugh
May 21, 2025
May 21, 2025 at 9:50 AM UTC
And here it comes again
The lack of breath
Cold fingers
Blurry thoughts
Even if I know I shouldn’t feel like it.
I do.
It’s not an obvious jealously, though.
It’s a terrifying thought of loosing all definitions of love.
All over again.
I’m so afraid I want to run away.
And maybe disappearing is a solution.
After all, if I won’t be here, the love will be just paused, not dead.
It will wait for my return.
You, with a dozen of roses and a soft smile.
Me, healed, ready for a new start.
Mar 22, 2024
Mar 22, 2024 at 5:53 PM UTC
*
*Proud peacock veneer
Under all her scarlet rage
Golden shackled pain*
*
Jun 30, 2020
Jun 30, 2020 at 5:46 AM UTC
I should’ve known how this would end
We played the part of distant friends
I knew this would hurt like a metal fist
When I came near & barely felt your kiss
You should’ve seen my hand the other day
Shaking and trembling like a rusty train
When it comes and goes in a fiery blaze
Lungs burn, blood boils, a grueling state
I’m calling around for a saving grace
And with two bruised knees, I’ll try to pray
What was that thing you said to my face?
Honey you’ll find love but not today
May 29, 2020
May 29, 2020 at 5:06 AM UTC
“Oh darkness, my friend,
Oh darkness, you see;
Why can’t I transcend,
The darkness in me.”
“Oh my child, you fool,
Oh my child, you see;
I don’t mean to be cruel,
But what’s of that you speak?”
“Oh darkness, so strong,
Oh darkness, I plea;
This has gone for so long,
It’s time I’m set free.”
“Oh my child, calm down,
Oh my child, so meek;
Your mind is my playground,
Your tears are my beach.”
“I am ready for growth,
For my power’s divine;
I take back all control,
That you’ve had on my mind.”
“You don’t have to do this child?
Don’t leave me like this;
I swear that I’m not defiled,
Please close the abyss.”
“My head is so clear now,
Appreciation, anew;
So this is my farewell,
And I bid you adieu.”
“I’ll wait for the next time,
that you might need me again;
I am darkness — I’m always trying,
To pretend as your friend.”
Brendon S. Sawyer
(2019)
Sep 6, 2019
Sep 6, 2019 at 2:37 AM UTC
A mood can change in the blink of an eye.
Your texts stir up like dissolving lies.
My hands shake to the beat of my thundering heart.
My blood runs cold enough to freeze the pendulum swinging in my head.
My stomach wants to be sick, its letting me know my world is upside down.
The cold sweat consumes me.
Locks me in my head with my whirling thoughts.
When i claw myself out of this madness, i ask who am i?
Who am i to be jealous over an unrequited love?
They could make you happy, surely, i just want you to be happy?
I do want you to be happy.
This love. This hurt. This friendship. This obsession.
This nothingness is leaving no space left for sanity.
Aug 30, 2019
Aug 30, 2019 at 5:02 PM UTC
A mood can change in the blink of an eye.
I reread your text through blurry eyes.
My hands shake to the beat of my racing heart.
My blood runs cold and the red mist decends over my restraint.
The cold sweat consumes me.
Locks me in my head with my whirling thoughts.
When i claw myself out of this madness, i ask who am i?
Who am i to be jealous over an unrequited love?
They could make you happy, surely, i just want you to be happy?
This love. This hurt. This friendship. This obsession.
This nothingness is leaving no space left for sanity.
Aug 30, 2019
Aug 30, 2019 at 4:31 PM UTC
Melancholy;
Melt in lands
Unholy
In an abyss of
Harm supressed;
Between two palms pressed
Together.
Remind us we are
Desolate;
Descending to a
Solitary fate
Where days
Gloomy;
Glue me
To my memories
Cold cruelty and
Shame;
An attempt at shadowing
The untamed.
Aug 12, 2018
Aug 12, 2018 at 9:14 PM UTC
I vainly sought in him a cure to the same pain he caused.
we would raise our arguments like sitting ducks just to to knock them down with reasons of logic or luck of love
Some things cannot be undone, people say we are meant for each other, but is it truly so
Maybe just a comfortable phase but will anything grow?
He whispered that there was only me, I believed all that he breathed in my ear, he pulled me in close, closer than anyone before..
I think I hate him now, a bit more every day but I've not given up yet- I want him to stay.
I wonder.. how do you fight jealously
How do you make it stop it’s constant hunger inside you.
Skin so soft that it doesn't seem real, in so deep I can’t keep it concealed
but
The doubt is consuming, the wall inside me was well-built and unyielding, my heart left too crippled from past abusers to possibly endure anymore pain
So if this love fails it will destroy everything in its wake.
I become enraged from time to time when the little green bug called jealously feeds away inside of me
Love has taken control, the knowledge that i let “love” dismantle the wall,
that i spent years building and reinforcing
brick by ******* brick, piece by ******* piece
i let him gradually demolish it and now i am powerless and susceptible and now he has me by the heartstrings and he holds me in his greedy palms.
I even pray to God, I tell him that i would do anything
anything just to take back control.
Jul 28, 2018
Jul 28, 2018 at 1:34 AM UTC
blue and white
cast upon you
like rice at a wedding
they follow
wanting
lusting
calling
cursing
but how to ward them?
when you ache
and plead
with yourself
your empty bank account,
god
for something you find beautiful
in another
yes, the evil eyes are always watching
because
they are yours.
Feb 17, 2018
Feb 17, 2018 at 5:21 PM UTC
you blush,
smile,
and she laughs;
a loud, look-at-me laugh
do you really go for that?
i feel sick.
Nov 2, 2017
Nov 2, 2017 at 4:43 PM UTC
Never listen to sad music when you're already sad it only makes things worse because every lyric that is being said is every word that replays in your head.
Jul 28, 2017
Jul 28, 2017 at 3:54 AM UTC
I've seen pictures of your old girlfriend
on the laptop you let me borrow, I was
snooping, looking for something to accuse
you of. You told me they had all been deleted
(I hadn't asked) you told me everything
was gone.
I've read messages, happy, hinted, flirtatious
coy poetry played between two parts which
haven't been officially scripted.
"It's weird between us now, isn't it?"
berated friendship, bartered love offered
in the gaps which remain unspoken
yet.
He does not speak of her
anymore. I have not asked.
Was it, unsolicited? Or does she tickle
your decadent fancy; you do the honourable
thing now and flirt with her
behind her fiances back.
Each trial has been blond and I fail
at not hating every single golden glinted thief
who stole something before it was even mine
to take.
You rise and I darken; I smile sticking needles
in your misadvised tongue. Still, these words burn
sweeter than those in my head.
Something whispers about that girl
who just walked past. Inside my crypt
things do not look good for me.
Nov 27, 2016
Nov 27, 2016 at 5:54 PM UTC
Love is Square
it is equal in each corner
Jealously is Triangle
sharp in every edge
Longing is Round
endless
Jan 3, 2016
Jan 3, 2016 at 9:38 PM UTC
It fills me up with fury
A cold and silent rage
That spills out only from my eyes
And now onto this page
The anger is not because of her
Nor is it because of you
It's simply because you have a past
That makes the hate seep through
I should look at the present
And the future we have ahead
Forget the ghosts we both have
Dwell on us instead
Jun 19, 2015
Jun 19, 2015 at 5:33 PM UTC
Jealously rises like smoke.
Obvious hoax.
How could she?
But I know his loyalty.
She can't take what's mine.
He's beautifully divine.
But maybe she already has.
Looks like midnight talks like jazz.
No... He'll return.
Right before she burns.
To what he knows is true.
He was just confused.
Aha.
Wait for his common sense.
Get away from the evil *****
Her lips curling.
Potion mist swirling.
Rotten, stale or dead.
She's inside his head.
Her breath intermixed.
Almost with his kiss.
Dark hair.
Lingering glare.
I feel her hate.
But she'll take my bait.
Her smirk won't fool me.
He wants me solely.
One choice for him to make.
Love and happiness or wretched snake
Jun 2, 2015
Jun 2, 2015 at 1:02 AM UTC
I would love
to be the cigarette burn on your arm
the nicotine stain in your lungs, rip
fibres of hair from follicles screaming as
I drench petrol and fiery words on your
body as you trip and stumble and fall
in every which way back down to the ground.
your smiles make me sick.
I want to ***** acid on your supple skin,
singing hydrochloric corrosive promises
which consume us both because now
just right now
all it does is burn me and
you don't even notice.
Apr 26, 2015
Apr 26, 2015 at 1:55 PM UTC
After the storm, when the clouds are spiteful and vengeance has been taken
Breaking character at play practice for a moment of pure ecstasy and humor
Catching colds, leaving an imprint of sickness and annoyance on one's face
Dodging the curious stares of ex lovers with a feeling of relief
Envious emotions towards the summer when you're left with chills and bare trees
Frozen faces in shock of the aftermath of that day back in September
Gracious arms stretched open wide by a Savior who has nothing to hide
Helplessness left on the man alone in the street with nothing to eat
Ignorance comes with the guy who thinks he knows it all (but really knows little at all)
Jokes are thrown left and right coming straight for the girl in the corner who's feeling depression
Kindness shared between two strangers hopeful that soon they'll be more than that
Lovers share a softened gaze and a touch of hands producing electricity
Moms crying for their kids first day of school, tears of joy
Nasty boys with shallow minds give over everything they have thinking they have real "love" for the night
Open-minded people uniting in the world to feel a sense of community
Pretentious celebrities showing a carefree attitude for the camera, but heartbreak behind
Quaint and quiet simple minded people read their simple books and live in a state of simple happiness
Red cheeks flushed brighter than a firework in July
Static on the radio playing really low, a tune really slow, with a sad tone
Tucked in crop tops, high waisted jeans, & converse lending a helping hand with nostalgia for the 80s
Under said phrases and over said words shouted on the rooftop with remorse and bitterness
Vertigo left her in a state of constant anxiousness
Watery eyes dried by pruned fingers in the salt water pool mixed with salt water tears
X marking the spot where she caught him with her
Yellow, stained pages and the peaceful smell of antique books
Zealousness for life shone in her eyes, almost like a musician when their fingers brush calmly and excitedly over their instrument
Mar 12, 2015
Mar 12, 2015 at 11:04 PM UTC
Its a horrible feeling.
It takes hold of your body.
Suffocating almost.
Toying with your mind,
you become someone you're not.
You want blood.
It creeps up your throat,
making you feel sick.
Its cold, thin hands crushing your chest,
causing your heart to ache.
Emotions tangle with anger.
A horrible, treacherous battle.
Anger always wins. Always.
Then you grow cold.
Its sickening breath rolling over your shoulders and down your spine.
It reminds you of your pain.
And you cant bare it.
The green monster has you by the throat,
and it wont let go.
Its always there.
Always.
Jan 22, 2015
Jan 22, 2015 at 11:01 AM UTC
What if?
life
is just
a game
that we
all play
to
win.
And what if?
the game
never really
has a
winner.
Nov 23, 2014
Nov 23, 2014 at 12:29 PM UTC
***all these pretty people
with ******* flawless skin
unblemished bodies
to contain their confident
loving souls
i look in the mirror
and i cry
i can't take what looks back at me
its agonizing imperfections
and taunting discontentment
tonight i want to die
but i won't tomorrow
so i hold on
despite hating myself entirely***
Nov 16, 2014
Nov 16, 2014 at 1:50 AM UTC