#jacob
Warfighter, late in years, finally vanquished.
Arm drop, sword clang, grateful to be finished.
Breached fortress,
Gate ajar, the opaque clears.
He raises his hands up to the sky,
Cries,
Turned heart.
‘Why only now did you intervene?’
He implores.
‘Can’t you see that it was me you were fighting all along?’
Says The River unseen.
Nov 21, 2019
Nov 21, 2019 at 5:18 AM UTC
The poor bless the rich,
and the lowly bless the mighty;
Even as Jacob blessed Pharaoh,
And the giver blessed.
Apr 2, 2019
Apr 2, 2019 at 4:09 AM UTC
as Potiphar
meets despair
with his
dire wife
but highlight
in this
lustful affair
when her
dream died
and not
well in
court while
her accusations
finish rife
and Joseph's
crown wins
the right
Jun 3, 2018
Jun 3, 2018 at 8:18 AM UTC
Through broken lenses I see the truth
The facts of life are no longer hidden.
Life no longer seen through
a Rose colored façade.
Free to grow.
Apr 21, 2018
Apr 21, 2018 at 9:22 AM UTC
Along the stairway to Heaven
The angels play their harps of gold
They sing hymns of ceaseless praise
To the prince of peace and king of kings.
He came down from Heaven to take his place as man
To pay the cost we could not pay was always the plan.
I walk along the stairway to Heaven
It is a long and challenging climb
But I keep my eyes fixed ahead and I make some progress.
I do not walk alone for there are many here with me
The way we make it up is to help each other.
Mary made a path for us and Jesus paved the way
Joseph walks beside us lending us his strength
Jacob dreams a ladder stretching from Heaven to earth.
The cross became the bridge with which to cross
The Grand Canyon that is between us and God.
Sometimes I feel like I'm close to you
Other times I'm miles away and in the dark.
Be with me Lord and help me on the way
Lord give me strength for the journey.
At times the climb is more like a battle
Fighting just to keep my feet from falling
But when I lose hope I think I feel you calling.
The stairway to Heaven will last a lifetime
There are many gone before us to help show us
To guide and encourage and challenge.
Following their light to the source of all light.
The stairway to Heaven is not always an easy climb
But it has been well worth the struggle every single time.
Mar 23, 2018
Mar 23, 2018 at 8:02 PM UTC
8/11/2016
i want something electric, so vivid and blinding that it leaves an imprint in my vision like walking into a dark room after being in the sun
i want passion so rare it leaves me foraging for whatever's left of me by the time you're gone
i want to speed down the coastline [evolved yet unchanged]
i don't know how to unglue myself from what you are
maybe i'll keep giving into the callousness in my heart that's been growing like a cancer since the first betrayal
you've used those lines before
they're carved in me with lingering pains that things are an illusion and i'm here to boost your ego
i've played this game long enough to know who the bad guys are
but what if i'm the bad guy for escaping something stable and unwavering
for a toxic replacement
[albeit you're pretty easy on the eyes]
teeter-tottering between saying something and actually doing it
my soul on a string like a tether ball where the players are you versus everyone else
and you say one thing
one tiny, insincere affirmation
my mind goes around the pole in circles until it's completely wrapped around the edges the way you have me singled around your rough fingers
creating knots out of my insides
yet all of your red flags fly violently
so i swing the other direction
loosening at the peak before you come back around and hold me like a child again
a vicious cycle
dangling a dangerous scenario in front of me like an animal eyeing food until it's clawing at your leg to rip it from your hands with their bare teeth
even in my fair share of evenings i was better off not having, you're miles ahead
pretending to be big kids an adult's world
and my mind goes miles a minute at the thoughts
you're not helping slow it down
you are no more an animal than i
Jun 7, 2017
Jun 7, 2017 at 3:34 PM UTC
8/12/2016
a single space and two bodies
you are drawn to the same air as i
but only (and only) sometimes
i wait for the message
that says "hello beautiful"
sift through the crowds to reach you for "goodbye"
and those days always come and go
when they're here, they're here
when i have nothing to show for myself
i can't stand to be next to a mirror
picking apart all the things you say you love about me
up and awake wondering when you'll set your sights on a new shiny distraction
i don't believe in putting a padlock on handcuffs and swallowing the key
nothing gold can stay
yet my mouth waters at the thought of pulling you in
but this place is a social experiment
where you and i can be whoever you want
i am a social chameleon
adjusting to whichever patterns and personalities fit my surroundings
believer and doubter
but the light and darkness aren't ambiguous
just the shadows between
and that's where we'll be
if you let me
Jun 7, 2017
Jun 7, 2017 at 3:30 PM UTC
8/27/16
you flirt with me innocently through a receipt
my last night at here
and for the last three months i tried to justify the casual verbal and physical ****** harassment that was happening before me - to me
because he was easy on the eyes
and he dressed up ***** words to make them sound poetic and pretty
and anything but romantic
nobody had to ask why i was leaving because i didn't tell anyone except for the managers - all but one
the one who is known for this pattern of taking us naïve girls to the beer cooler in the back
to do anything but what was gentlemanly
and i ate up every single line like they were candy hearts
because he made my head blow up like a balloon
he's in there now
smiling like nothing's wrong
and when it's blatantly obvious that everything about what he does is so wrong - even illegal - that's what merits a "what's wrong"
and i don't know why i still love you
because you haven't once attempted any of the things you said you would
you've just pulled me so fearlessly close that i have to get as far away as possible because the "l" word scares me
and you would rather her than i
and you're caged up in the same home as someone you probably have to share a bed with even though you don't want to
you blame it all on the way your parents raised you
and the nightmare your mother had
meanwhile i would've cared for you relentlessly
and i do?
Jun 7, 2017
Jun 7, 2017 at 3:27 PM UTC
8/14/16
you're the only person that makes my words melt before i even get a chance to push them into existence
it's not hard for me to talk usually
yet with you i feel completely dumbfounded like the times i've stood in front of a crowd of hundreds aimlessly entertaining (i'm sure you know what that's like)
i pick apart and pre-meditate every word and that's all they are
you weave them together in ways that are strangely more beautiful
even ******
and the eloquence of your words that flow out of you with the same ease as water escaping a glass -
is the same effortless pairing i spend hours attempting to perfect
most days i never get it right
hell, it feels like a cliché to want someone as bad as the next girl who struts her stilettos to the bar
just for a single compliment or peck on the cheek
sometimes it makes me wonder
if i'm any different
i feel like i sink away in the everyday black but there's always something you want to say to acknowledge that hey, today i got up and tried
every time you pull back
it all feel so useless
divided
unclear
messy
irate
i don't want your all, i just want a little bit
Jun 7, 2017
Jun 7, 2017 at 3:26 PM UTC
The generations rumble on,
I know no reason why.
We build our countless tower-blocks,
Reaching to the sky.
Jacob is our newest one.
He’s only two years old.
Who knows what things he’s going to see?
Great nephew who’ll have…great stories to be told.
We saw men land upon The Moon,
For him it will be Mars.
His kids may go much further,
Even to the Stars.
He’s such a cheery chappie,
Chapman his mum’s maiden name!
I hope he will stay cheerful,
Though Life’s a funny old game.
I hope the world gets better,
For him and all his peers.
I’m sure he’ll be a pacesetter,
And not too many tears.
So here’s to futures bright,
For Jacob and the rest.
May there always be plenty of light,
Let’s wish them all the best.
Paul Butters
Jan 12, 2017
Jan 12, 2017 at 4:33 AM UTC
When you walk past me, I can feel the hatred burning in your heart.
When we make eye contact, I can feel regret swelling in my throat.
When I hear your name, I think about all the good times we had.
When I see you smile, I start screaming inside my head to look away.
When you run your fingers through your hair, I feel myself die inside.
When we avoid each other in the hall, I know everyone can see my pain.
When I talk about you, I feel like you're there with me, That's why I do.
When I see you, I taste the blood from my cheek warm on my tongue.
When I look away, I unclench my jaw before I realize it was even closed
When I realize what happened, I make sure nobody saw me staring at you.
When I know the coast is clear, I swallow the evidence.
When you’re through with me, I will have scars nobody can see.
Nov 22, 2015
Nov 22, 2015 at 12:42 PM UTC
You're like a headache that doesn’t go away.
When I try to erase you, you scream “No Way!”
All I hear is your throbbing, All I feel is your pain.
All your memories are burning a hole through my brain.
when our eyes meet, I’m the first to turn my head.
When I try to shake you off you only manage to spread.
I’ve only managed to love you, and I think that ruined me.
He was perfect, but my mind said, “If he’s not him we aren’t meant to be.”
I know you hate me, everyone does.
I just wish my love for you would fade away to fuzz.
I don’t only taste blood sometimes I taste microwave burritos or Twix
You ate yours with the cheese that always sticks
But now they only make me sick when I start to chew.
You wrestled your brother and let him win because he’s smaller than you.
I can only blame myself because it's my fault you’re gone.
I shouldn’t have been scared I should just held on.
maybe then I’d have butterflies in my stomach,
Not bees in my mind.
Nov 21, 2015
Nov 21, 2015 at 10:16 PM UTC
Distract the heart with other emotions than that of
Love.
Distract the heart with excitement, with laughter, with joy.
Distract it with memories of being a little girl and boy.
Distract it with conversations of intellectual thought,
Though sometimes distract it with those that are not.
Keep it enthralled with the day's many moments.
Enthrall it with what options that day were not chosen.
If sadness does come, welcome it to see
How deeply I do care for thee.
My dearest friend, the only
Whom I write of,
My heart is now
Distracted
Completely
With
Love
Oct 7, 2015
Oct 7, 2015 at 12:34 AM UTC
The mirror is shattered.
So without any reflection on the misuse of this image,
The shards will be incarnadine.
The bleeding will ne'er end.
It drips drops of thick sick thoughts,
Smothering the scattered shards.
A sight bred for horror.
Speckled endlessly, sorting sorrows
Into uniquely spattered shards.
The fulmination of self-imitation.
No longer are little words taken lightly.
You are now obscure shards.
I, too, once saw clearly.
Sep 29, 2015
Sep 29, 2015 at 5:02 PM UTC
I've been there ~
She listens with ears that only hear the pain of lovers past ~
He sees with eyes that are blurred with visions of everyone who went away ~
Love spears your insides ~
It disrupts old memories ~
It stirs them up into toxic mush ~
Until all you see is ALL the people that used to be ~
Not each other ~
The glass is stained with the past ~
Clean it off ~
Clear the smudge ~
Look at the water with clearer eyes ~
Listen to the night with ears that have long since shed an old lovers sin ~
You still can't look at each other ~
But don't let go ~
No one will hold you like she does ~
No one will protect you like his jealous arms ~
You are hers and she is yours ~
And that's all you both should see ~
Listen not to whispers of people who can never be ~
Push aside ~
The pain and pride ~
Listen to each others hearts again ~
Because the beat didn't skip ~
And when you hold his hand ~
And touch her skin ~
You'll realize that a love like yours ~
Can never be apart again ~
Sep 4, 2015
Sep 4, 2015 at 10:08 PM UTC
Needless to say
I'm a disaster.
Peaceful breathing
Next to my
Endless seething
About the constant feelings
That confuse me
And enslave me
And ravage me
And leave me craving an escape.
Your peaceful breathing
How it ever so slowly calms my raving mind.
I can't sleep.
You're lying next to me and I am
Helpless, needy, and hurt.
Helpless - though your attempts to calm me are caring and sweet, I can't help you sleep by staying awake.
Needy - I desire your company at 3AM when the world should be silent and yet here I sit wanting your attention.
Hurt - I can't hurt myself anymore than to know I am hurting you.
I love you.
I lie here and weep.
I need what you have,
Your peaceful sleep.
Aug 30, 2015
Aug 30, 2015 at 2:55 AM UTC
Sometimes I just want to see another way of being me
Another way of being free of all insecurity
But there are times when that is hard
And there are wounds that have been scarred
And now I'm trying to get by with what in my life has been marred.
I keep trying to escape all of the lies that cover my eyes like tape; such a disguise, I can let out only sighs.
It's hiding all of my fears deep inside all of my tears that never flow, I don't let them go, so I keep moving, I reap what I sow.
So no, I'm not fine, I walk a fine line between peace and what is at least my foreseeable destruction.
And I know I'm laughing and requesting you leave it alone but what is worse is the curse of knowing I am and will always be unknown.
All weight will drop off my shoulders, but before, it gets much colder,
So cover me in this vacancy of emotion and make me bolder.
Make me able to stand under the pressure of the hand that smacks my hand and tells me "Man, it's just a phase." which does the opposite of
Raising me up and making me new, so if you only knew that what you do makes me rue the so-called man that I've become and now
The future man that I will be will never rise up from his knee
So I'm left stirring in this mind of never-ending insecurity.
Aug 28, 2015
Aug 28, 2015 at 10:32 AM UTC
I walk
Nightly
To the place where I find
Silence.
Silencing the world
Silencing the mind
Silencing all that creates
Havoc.
I create havoc.
Day after day
I walk
Wondering when I will
Finally
Be able to find that
Silence.
But day after day I am
Silenced.
That is why
Nightly
I walk
To the place where I find
Silence.
To the River
Where drowns the havoc
Around me.
Where flow the souls of the silent.
To the River
Where I find
Silence.
Aug 26, 2015
Aug 26, 2015 at 11:52 AM UTC
I used to think there was a common lure,
A common attraction to the love we built.
But every relationship begins to crumble
As now we are.
If I could simply explain that all of your
Words cut me. All of your flowered colors wilt.
But I simply cannot and I fall into mumble
As now we are.
What was clear between us begins to blur.
There is grey area, no clear sign is felt.
But how is it we never used to stumble
As now we are.
You were impossible to blame
And as was I.
But the Moor left life due to outwardly shame
And the lure into our deceit was too great
And what we had built no longer held meaning
And the stumble was hardened by the foundation
And it was no more,
As now we are.
Aug 24, 2015
Aug 24, 2015 at 10:21 AM UTC
If dreamed any harder
Vivid light would fade away
Under the ecstasy of color
That would illuminate the day
May 23, 2015
May 23, 2015 at 1:21 PM UTC
Quickly come
Harshly rushing in
Flurries of inklings
Blow in through my pen
Slowly come
The unique flakes I know
Wisp around in my head
Creating drifts of snow
Forever come
These blizzards, suffice
Enticing my hand
To form sculptures of ice.
Apr 2, 2015
Apr 2, 2015 at 5:04 PM UTC
The longest drive of my life
was only four and a half dragging minutes
around two street corners
Followed by the loudest sound of an unlocking door
my oozing ears have ever witnessed
And the guiltiest hug my arms will ever bear.
His scent still lingering on my clothes
and face
and those same arms,
I proceed to tell you my secrets
(not the fun kind you whisper to your friends)
the ones I could only stand to hide under my tongue
for one whole day,
and purely for the sake of your innocence.
I reach into your chest and rip out what's rightfully mine
and I can't apologize enough
as I ring out every good memory I have ever given you
and replace it with a night I can't even fully remember.
Naturally, you curse
and leave me alone in your room as if
I've kicked you out of your own home, as if
you never want to see my face again
unless it is twisted and bruised, as if
the only thing I have ever given you
was a chip in your paper-thin skull.
After draining my lips of "I'm sorry"s and "I love you"s
you find the decency in your heart to take hold of my hand,
walk me silently to the bathroom,
and politely ask me to join you
for a bubble bath.
Mar 17, 2015
Mar 17, 2015 at 1:06 AM UTC
My heart it broke.
My heart is now broken.
Who can fix my heart I hope you can.
Please if your out there fix my heart.
The doctor told me it can't be fixed but I want to prove him wrong.
So will you please fix this heart it is very broken.
It is my broken heart.
Mar 3, 2015
Mar 3, 2015 at 6:52 PM UTC