#itsover
I’m missing how it used to be
How you’d seek me out like a little puppy
The sparks flying between us like fireworks
Anticipation building as we engaged in conversation
Then it finally happened on a steamy summer night
The curiosity we had about our bedroom manners
Discovered in an instant moment of gratification
Our bodies tangled as mouths and tongues tasted one another
But as expected things fall apart
We’ve slowly morphed into distant acquaintances
You pay me a visit only when you need to vent
As I listen in silence about the woman you love and hate
Laying wide awake in my bed
Thoughts of you take me over
Pleasing myself at the thought of your mouth
Gifting wet kisses to that sweet spot
You can’t deliver your message to my face
That this short lived connection was just that
Ceasing your exploration of me and my body
Our association has reached its final stop
Oct 5, 2021
Oct 5, 2021 at 12:42 PM UTC
I searched for reasons through all these years
and now it proves me all so wrong.
All of that hurt, so many tears,
and what was it for? It's all gone.
I thought you better,
I thought you changed,
I walked the extra mile, all for a lie.
Just to be fooled one more time.
You use people to get what you need,
you use them just as it suits.
And then you drop them as if they were used toys
To find new objects for your joys.
I thought you better,
I thought you changed,
and if the world would know me story
you would look very lame.
This is no goodbye
This is no farewell
This is simply you don't deserve me anymore
Feb 7, 2020
Feb 7, 2020 at 4:17 AM UTC
remember that you were the one that wanted to be friends
You asked me,
Can we please,
Be friends?
but then something in you changed,
you went back to your old mean ways,
And it still hurts you know,
seeing you avoid me like I have ******* lepracy, when we dated,
Everyone told me to leave you;
He’s too short,
He’s ugly,
He’s a liar.
But I didn’t
I cared about you,
and I stayed because I loved you,
but apparently the feelings weren’t mutual,
today,
someone sent you a picture of me,
and you said ew,
but once before you used to smile whenever you would see my face.
Jan 24, 2020
Jan 24, 2020 at 12:57 PM UTC
one day I'll be able to watch the ocean
wipe your name away from the sand
without writing it ever again
© L.F.
Aug 13, 2019
Aug 13, 2019 at 12:14 AM UTC
I'd like to say
Our love is like
Puzzle pieces.
Even if our pieces
Are worn
And hands don't
Fit anymore,
The picture we
Made together will always
Be beautiful
In our memories.
Feb 21, 2019
Feb 21, 2019 at 2:13 PM UTC
my mom thinks it’s a hickey on my neck
and i’d rather her think that
than know it’s from your fingers
clamping my throat shut
with rage
Dec 21, 2018
Dec 21, 2018 at 2:19 PM UTC
Everyone is living their fairytale
While I’m living in hell
Come back to me already
Let's make this right
Mend this hole and close it tight
No one has to ever know
The deep cuts created
The harmful words spoke
Let’s go back to the way things were
Before you shattered my heart
Before everything between you and me fell apart
Dec 13, 2018
Dec 13, 2018 at 3:29 PM UTC
One of these days
I will be on deck, put pedals on my boat
Low it down the deepest streams
And you will watch me as I slowly sail away
Towards the ocean, underneath a stormy sky
Floating ahead of the hightest tides
There I will dive in with everything that I am
Wash away your promises and love notes
Feed your rebukes and blames to the sharks
Then one day
I will return, not for you
'Cause I will not know a thing about you but I will notice you if you dare try to take advantage of my Amnesia
Nov 6, 2018
Nov 6, 2018 at 7:09 AM UTC
Letting go of what you never had
Is the hardest task of all
I wore that today with my coke cola sweater....
And a coke bottle figure
I wore it like i had something to prove
Cuz losing you is the worst newz
I recieved this year
I used to stare from afar and dream
Now i just wonder why u ****** up things
Or why i even tried
Now i try to live a lie
And try not to stare and try not to hate
Try not to love
The very shape of your face
And your smile
And your hair
And im in air
Im afloat
And today i wore my coke cola sweater
And a coke bottle figure
With a little missing you
And it was the hardest thing to do
U used to be a daydream
Now youre just misery
And u try your best to inflict the most pain
Im just insane
Youre doing nothing
AND im not a thought on your mind
I never got an ounce of your time
When all you did was occupy mine
You were a movement
So i wore my heartbreak
And a coke cola sweater
With a coke bottle figure
And it was the hardest thing to feel nothing at all
For you.
Feb 27, 2018
Feb 27, 2018 at 3:56 AM UTC
sometimes i miss our friendship
and i miss the summers spent
playing volleyball in your backyard
with the boy from down the street
but then i stop and think
of how horrible you were to me
you weren't a real friend
you used me as a crutch during your suicidal days
yet i was alone and weeping over life
you hurt me emotionally
and to pretend like you cared
i'd receive gifts and plastic tears
with choreographed paragraphs filled with apologies
and i forgave you time and time again
it's days when i miss you, the happy you,
that i accept that the happy you isn't here anymore
and i stop missing you
because with you i forgot what friendship was
because without you i can sleep again
because with you i'm confined to only you
because without you i'm happy
and surrounded by people willing to teach me
what a real and healthy friendship is
Jun 10, 2017
Jun 10, 2017 at 8:33 PM UTC
Letting go is another thing in life that just doesn't sit well with me.
But I get it.
And so I must swallow whatever pride I have left.
Only because people have been sent after me.
I didn't ever think I'd see the day when my once close friends decided to bash my reputation. And to be completely fair, not everybody came after me.
But the ones who did, really wanted me to have it.
But despite what I've done. I can find some relief in knowing that some of those people still think I'm decent.
And thank God I haven't done anything to some people. I try to be kind, and that gets me a decent reputation. But only one mistake can drive it right back into the ground.
After all of this. I just want an iced capp to numb the pain and to keep me awake.
And sure, this isn't ideal.
At all.
But it's my life.
Or at least...
It is now.
May 3, 2017
May 3, 2017 at 7:56 PM UTC
After 2 weeks of being away from school, here I am again. And if I'm going to live through this week, I should tell you right away, it is going to be hell.
It's already eating at me and I am doing my best to pretend I'm okay. Because what's the use of feeling like nobody can fix me?
Because nobody can. I'm so broken that it's funny. Yeah, I can laugh about it. I already have. When I poured out my pain to my mom I was laughing and crying.
But it quickly turned from funny to just sad. For... a multitude of reasons. I think I'll keep the keys around my neck just to prove a point. That I can showcase my pain without anybody really caring. So... what now?
There is nothing I can do, the friendships aren't dependent on my actions. They never have been. I guess one thing worth mentioning is that I redo the sharpie on the key everyday. Just to keep it clear and legible.
And because forgetting this doesn't seem to be an option at this point. And my stubbornness in forgetting is... there. But that's always been a part of my life. So I distract myself with my work, however boring it may be.
And it's not all boring, but it is more than effective when it comes to my mental state. It's exhausting. But it works. And that is... enough?
Probably not. Ugh, nothing is making sense. I'm at a loss for once in my life. A loss of... well... what seems like everything. And for a teenager yeah, my situation does seem very "end of the world" like. But I try desperately not to overreact. But I do. And I will.
Apr 24, 2017
Apr 24, 2017 at 7:47 PM UTC
Rainclouds form,
in a grey skied mind,
pouring down,
is so unkind,
crystal ball tears,
& lightning fears,
emotionally you're mind reading,
indigo ink is quickly bleeding,
your touch you know I'm needing,
a premonition was imprinted,
on your darkened heart,
& doomed us right,
from the start,
I crash to the ground
in a deafening sound,
thunderstruck,
endings ****
& so does luck,
I'm ripped apart at the seams,
shattering my broken dreams,
of ever finding the way,
to your sea,
& ever hoping my heart,
will finally be free.
Cherie Nolan © 2016
Oct 22, 2016
Oct 22, 2016 at 10:20 AM UTC
The love stretched out to two.
The entangled strings between us.
I let go of one, not to long ago.
The other, My mind was set to follow.
I clung, I hurt.
The confusion built up of the simple,
"He said, she said"
The one of whom I let go,
gave me valid advice:
To let go of the other.
I refused,
I clung, I hurt.
Finally, the message came through.
Written in the stars was the message.
Rain poured down as I told,
"This is the end, forever shes gone"
But instead I received nothing but sunshine.
I clung? No, I let go.
Im free.
Im free.
September 14, 2016
Sep 14, 2016
Sep 14, 2016 at 11:04 PM UTC
I would want nothing more,
Than to hear you knocking at my door,
You want nothing to do with me I'm sure.
I cant get you out of my head,
I lie alone, awake in bed,
I can don't know what to do instead.
There is only one of you,
And one of me,
I thought we fit together perfectly.
My edges were too rough,
My heart was too tough,
My love wasn't enough.
I don't blame you for the pain,
I remember that day it rained,
When I scooted to my left and you to your right,
But now I cry at night.
Apr 30, 2016
Apr 30, 2016 at 5:53 PM UTC
Our love is dead
It is gone to the ages
I lie alone bed
Now my feelings are in cages
What we had is lost
It lies within the ground
Only I know the cost
But you I'm glad I found.
Apr 29, 2016
Apr 29, 2016 at 8:45 AM UTC
Time is running out
The clock is ticking fast
Tick tick tick
A time bomb waiting to implode
I’m just buying time
Until the hour glass has dropped its last grain of sand
No more turning it right side up and starting all over again
I don’t know how to fake it anymore
Pretend when the seasons change that she’s not on your mind
It’s spring again
The mania has returned
And I won’t stay this time
I won’t wait for the fall to come
For you to realize once again that you’ve made a mistake
Just when I think it’s over, you pull the box out again
I’ve tried to bolt it shut
I kept the key around my neck
You snuck in last night and stole it
When I woke up it was all over the floor
A picture of her flutters down
You pick it up and speak to her
You lie and say nothing was said
It’s just a secret between you and yourself
And you think if you only speak to her in your mind that it will stay that way
I’ve tried to Cauterize the wounds but you open them again and again
Leaving bigger scars than the time before
You look at me and say it’s done
Your secrets still on your breath
No matter what I do she’ll always be there
Right behind me
Breathing down my neck
— AJ Bell blogbatsinthebelfrylove
Apr 13, 2016
Apr 13, 2016 at 2:02 PM UTC
It's been raining all day
And how fitting it seems
We knew it'd happen eventually
So why am I having trouble breathing?
I watch you fall through emotions
Like the rolling thunder outside
You try to understand my mind
But oh, I've broken your heart so
I'm not sure what delusion I was in
That this wouldn't be a messy conclusion
Or that I could somehow make you understand
That loving someone doesn't mean they're best
You're no good and I know it
I'm no good though I've tried
But your touch is like ******
Toxic as it seems
It takes me higher and higher
And I've played these games for far too long
Running away from a truth I've known
So how can I be so surprised
That you lash out and scream 'why'
I dream about the day years from now
When I run into you on the street
You'll have her hand in yours
And I'll be alone
We'll catch eyes, and for a brief moment
We'll go back to those times of love and loss
But then we'll smile, and casually walk on
And that, dear man, is why I can't find the words to speak
I know this is really the end
Oct 29, 2015
Oct 29, 2015 at 5:21 PM UTC
I opened up recently, and it feels
amazing.
This is the first time I can think of that I've turned to poetry out of happiness rather than anguish.
I just went back and read every poem I had ever written.
My conclusions were thus:
The thing that hurt me and caused me pain was never who I was, but rather the fear that people would see the real me.
Now, I have shown myself to all the important people, and life has gotten so much better.
I knew I couldn't be
closed
forever,
but I never expected openness to feel this good.
Jun 20, 2015
Jun 20, 2015 at 4:09 PM UTC
I wish our past was
better than these memories
of spite, lust, and shame
s.q.
Apr 24, 2016
Apr 24, 2016 at 1:49 AM UTC
I walk outside, it's forty degrees and the grass is twinkling like your eyes do.
I stretch and sigh and feel tears ***** my eyes, the same tears that I had when I put an end to this.
So, I ran. I ran and I ran.
I ran like I was Jesse Owens and I ran like I was drunk and I ran like I needed to be drunk.
I stopped and I cried and I sighed and I loved.
I don't love you anymore, Madison, but I did at one point.
I stopped like I stopped running and stopped caring and stopped drinking to get rid of your smile burned into my eyes.
I met someone new, Madison, I met someone else and I'm happy now.
I'm happy without you, Madison.
I don't need to get drunk and I don't need to run.
Mar 19, 2015
Mar 19, 2015 at 11:08 PM UTC