#instead
I want to think about you the way you think about me
like a nice memory
something to look back on
Instead of thinking about how we're under the same skies
and how we could be in the same bed
laying close next to each other like that time in January
Instead of wondering if I'll ever feel safe in love again
because I did until you walked away
as if I was easy to forget
Instead of waiting for my heart to stop hurting
wishing for a night without crying
or a day without thinking about you
I want to move on like you've done
Instead of being sure I'll never feel this way about anyone
Apr 28
Apr 28, 2026 at 6:23 PM UTC
Sometimes I feel small and alone
Intoxication will beckon me home
Only find there is nobody there
An empty glass and emptier chair
Maybe if I had not treated them so bad
Loved ones I would HAVE
Instead of HAD
Dec 10, 2020
Dec 10, 2020 at 11:32 AM UTC
Heart in my stomach swells with dread
Numbing at the words you said
The cold truth pounding in my head
The truth that you like her instead
Sep 15, 2020
Sep 15, 2020 at 7:46 PM UTC
anger should shoot out
but instead kindness drips
from my eyes onto
the palms of your hands
and so I caress the pain instead
as I push it to the corner
with the rest of emotions
that have gone unattended to.
Jul 23, 2020
Jul 23, 2020 at 1:37 AM UTC
The way we love each other despite ourselves and the universe is insatiable. You’re the feast to my starving poetry, and I’m scrambling after you trying to unscramble all the pieces you let trail behind; I’ve spiraled into puzzling over every detail of your face and the imprints on your heart and the things you’re never really saying but silently radiating
The way we love each other with our whole arms and our whole hearts beating up against one other, magnetism pulling our bodies together all close and warm until our skin is melding and there is no more feeling or air, only lightness and the white behind your eyes
And even then, it isn’t enough—
that can’t get enough of you feeling, so tragic and profound, how it makes you move
different, that sudden onset
of warmth (and how that cool can pull you down so low)
analyzing you as if you aren’t equally a mess as I am, and you’re so deeply beautiful to me, even if the universe can’t see it yet
And yet but despite ourselves, and the universe
Dec 28, 2019
Dec 28, 2019 at 1:32 AM UTC
The way you cry
O’er the leaking roof
Under the stars, holding water
Aug 17, 2019
Aug 17, 2019 at 8:59 PM UTC
Oh pretty things
Take me instead and
Make me you
Oh pretty things
I hate the colors and
I'm feeling blue
Oh pretty things
How does it feel to get
The attention of the lovers?
Oh pretty things
Will I ever get noticed
Beyond the shell that covers?
Jun 14, 2019
Jun 14, 2019 at 10:02 PM UTC
With all the stories
In my head
Wish I could tell you
It all instead
Apr 18, 2019
Apr 18, 2019 at 8:12 PM UTC
They said God is in all,
Maybe yours was bigger than mine.
I said a thousand prayers,
I stood there for a long time.
But the night came crawling,
And all I got were shodows under the lamp.
I liked the moon,
But the sun summoned me instead
Feb 17, 2019
Feb 17, 2019 at 8:43 AM UTC
When I would visit Ohio, my grandma always said
certain things in Spanish, as to not flood my head.
I wish I understood that secret life she led
by interpreting her knowledge, I know to have been well read,
But now my striving hunger will never be quite fed,
for now those precious, foreign words are unforgivingly dead.
Oh, how I cry very often, at night while I’m in bed.
Regrets like these don’t go away, so I try to cope instead.
I’ll never forget her loving Spanish ***** (that memory’s never fled),
even though my nostalgic heart regretfully succumbs to dread.
May 4, 2018
May 4, 2018 at 6:52 PM UTC
i cannot say what's on my mind,
it wont make any sense
to you,
to anyone,
and especially to me, so
i won't say anything
and you will tell me that it doesn't matter how i say it, it only matters if i do
but when you say nothing instead of ‘im in love with you’ the words will swim down the veins of your lover like poison filling them to the brink of extinction and you will regret it,
so next time think of what to say
and say it or
trust me
it will change the whole game
and thats what happened
the game was changed when nothing came out of my mouth the day you told me i was your universe,
i instantly regret not saying anything,
regret falling like a fruit from a tree that i cannot pick up with my sensitive hands
but trust me
trust me when i say i wanted to pick them up,
with every inch of me, i wanted to be the one that gave you the fruit you ever so desired but i cannot hurt my myself to please you even though pleasing you was the only thing i had ever known
i will not destroy myself, for you, but at the same time i wanted to if it meant keeping you with me
all i wanted was to be there for you but i guess the poison i filled you up with was actually a magnet i had placed in your heart
and you were not attracted to me,
you did not come when i had told you that i picked up the fruit,
my hands bleeding for you
i would give every inch of my being to say ‘im in love with you’ instead of staying quiet
because quiet didnt get me anywhere but here
****** hands, self destruction,
in the sidewalk of you heart catching a ride to god knows where,
my love for you packed in the bags i have,
waiting for a ride that will come soon.
Mar 6, 2018
Mar 6, 2018 at 1:26 AM UTC
If hearts were made of glass
Mine would have been shattered
Into a million pieces by now
Thanks to you
If lies were poison arrows
My chest would display them
While you shot at me
From your articulate mouth
If trust was a golden ring
You would have melted it down
And burned me
With its fire
If your definition of love
Actually had some meaning
Maybe, just maybe
I would have made it
Feb 28, 2018
Feb 28, 2018 at 9:44 PM UTC
I won't eat
I won't sleep
I won't brush my teeth
Instead I write.
I won't cry
I won't laugh
I won't see my friends
Instead I write.
Eating does not fill me. When I try to sleep, I toss and turn. No need to brush my teeth when I won't go outside.
Stories are my nourishment. I drift off to dreamland in prose. My soul is cleansed with antonyms and synonyms, similes and metaphors.
Crying brings no freeing feeling. Laughing holds no joy. Friends will soon just leave me and take with them my heart.
I pour my tears into a song to convey all that I feel. I laugh along with Shakespeare as he inspires every play. All my friends are pencils because they're useful and won't leave. And if one happens to skip away, break or reach an end; aisle 4, below the staplers, I can always buy some more.
Jul 6, 2017
Jul 6, 2017 at 9:32 AM UTC
Lean your head
On my
Bare
Hip
And taste
Sweet,
Pure
Freedom.
Let these
empty
sheets
Cover this
naked
Body
Of mine
With relief.
Let my ankle
Feel
The pain
Of your
Passionate
Kiss,
As we both know
It is our last.
Close your eyes,
Love,
As you did mine
Once,
So you won't see
My shadowed
Steps
Walking away.
Take your farewell
And cover it
With clothing,
But it will still be
Too much
For our
One hour
Love story.
Apr 26, 2017
Apr 26, 2017 at 3:43 PM UTC
You said you’d die for me
protect me with your life.
I cried.
I begged.
I pleaded.
No!
How could you?
Why would you?
I won’t let you!
My life is nothing without you.
Words you reflected back at me.
Live for me.
Live for me.
You said you’d die for me
But no.
No that could never happen.
No force on Heaven, Hell, or Earth
could take you from me.
I will not let them.
I would not let you.
My life is mine to save.
My chances are mine to take,
and I am no damsel.
You will not leave me behind,
dying in the cold
of your absence.
No.
You told me that you’d die for me.
And so to stop you
I died instead.
Nov 4, 2015
Nov 4, 2015 at 2:24 AM UTC
I don’t want you back.
Instead:
Give me back every compliment ever given,
Every whispered time I uttered that four lettered word,
And meant it.
Give me back the hours together doing nothing but enjoying each other’s company.
I want those instead.
Because if I had them back…
Then maybe I’d be willing to give them,
to someone else.
But you have them.
You have them all.
Oct 23, 2015
Oct 23, 2015 at 11:11 PM UTC
Have you ever wondered:
Why me?
Why did this happen to me and nobody else?
Well the truth is that it probably did happen to someone else, maybe even worse than the situation that you're in
So instead of asking "Why me?"
Start asking "How me?"
"How did this happen to me?"
Because the sooner you know that
The sooner you can learn from your mistakes
Jun 24, 2015
Jun 24, 2015 at 4:59 AM UTC
You smelled of life
And hope and a future ahead.
I smelled of ennui instead.
You took me to your bed
And ****** with my head.
F.Z.N
May 25, 2015
May 25, 2015 at 7:14 PM UTC
*Drawing pictures of any opaque scenery
Instead of your smile.*
Apr 17, 2015
Apr 17, 2015 at 9:11 AM UTC
When you read someone's story,
And you find there's space for improvement,
how 'bout filling the gaps yourself;
Rereading it the way you think it should be,
adding in the extra words you'd like to see.
With what is there and you already like,
Be kind enough to say.
Compliment the good in their work:
redemption's on it's way.
If you seek the light, and ignore the dark,
good will seem to overrule,
will be the righteous spark.
© J-d S. J
Aug 11, 2014
Aug 11, 2014 at 4:06 PM UTC