#innerhealing
I think about the girl I used to be
and feel sorry for her sometimes.
People would look at me and say,
“You’re so beautiful.”
And I’d laugh it off
like they were talking about someone else.
Because all I remember from those years
is insecurity.
Hiding.
Overthinking every little thing.
Trying to survive myself quietly.
I wish I had lived more.
Worn the outfit.
Taken the picture.
Believed the compliment.
Stopped caring so much about what was wrong with me.
Maybe that’s my biggest regret
not that I wasn’t beautiful,
but that I never allowed myself to feel it.
May 12
May 12, 2026 at 11:58 AM UTC
Abandon all my fears—
a bad turn from what I thought was real
my head screaming at a demon
that never tries to wish me well
Well… of course, that’s true
when you spend your whole life
throwing ***** coins into a wishing well—
But if tomorrow doesn’t find us
I’ll be the first to “wish you well”
softly, like a prayer folded in
the corners of a room
Atonement lives in my bones
the end is always near, yet I still
close my eyes, to fall asleep in all
my dreams
Mar 14
Mar 14, 2026 at 5:28 PM UTC
My past self envies who I’ve become.
My present self still doubts the becoming.
My future self watches— smiling at both,
for surviving the in-between.
All Versions Survived.
Feb 13
Feb 13, 2026 at 1:39 PM UTC
Don’t be harsh on yourself.
Don’t shrink your feelings.
Talk to yourself — you deserve your own kindness.
Dec 3, 2025
Dec 3, 2025 at 7:23 AM UTC
It’s not about the pain itself,
but the pain as company—
to carry it with me today,
because once
there was no love,
no peace,
no joy.
Oct 3, 2025
Oct 3, 2025 at 6:13 AM UTC
The soul says:
I don’t want to carry
this pain alone anymore.
I want to translate it.
And so poetry
becomes a bridge of healing—
what once was pain
becomes self-expression.
Sep 30, 2025
Sep 30, 2025 at 7:34 AM UTC
Just when you think
you’ve healed
all your wounds,
the mind whispers:
Not yet, darling.
There’s still **** hidden here,
tucked under the rug,
waiting to be seen.
Oct 10, 2025
Oct 10, 2025 at 6:08 AM UTC
__A pistol tucked inside my heart__—
memories of old dreams echo like bullet
wounds. Freedom comes, quietly, when
I finally let myself be known to myself.
Lips are like public transport;
they carry heavy loads:
_sometimes love, sometimes doubt._
But the private lifts? Those are the words
we whisper to ourselves when we’re trying
to lift ourselves up, above our own doubts.
__What loads are you carrying?__ Will your
transport make...or break someone?
Because belief in your own worth is such
a heavy load. __And no__— it’s not something
you should carry alone.
The weight of any load feels lighter when
the ones you love—and who love you back—
don’t just stand beside you; they help you
carry what you were never meant to bear alone.
Jun 23, 2025
Jun 23, 2025 at 4:23 AM UTC
First love
It was me I missed.
I miss the me that loved so freely,
the me that trusted you to protect me.
I loved you because I loved me then.
I was vulnerable.
I was naive.
I gave in willingly to be yours—
just to feel something.
You took me for granted.
You found someone new.
Yet you came back, time and time again.
I was your safe place,
your comfort.
You are selfish!
I’m left to pick up the pieces
,
whenever you decide to leave.
I let you back in,
but I grew numb….no I am numb—not knowing if I even wanted you back anymore.
I know we both care,
but we both had growing up to do. I had to learn to do so without you.
I cannot carry your pain
and carry mine too.
Time heals, words fade.
Actions show.
You’re a beautiful mistake.
I choose me, not you.
Mar 17, 2025
Mar 17, 2025 at 6:41 PM UTC
I thought of her as my best friend.
The sister, the role-model.
I never had that from another woman.
Almost a decade older.
She was blonde and Brazilian.
A former successful attorney.
What does that really mean though?
The woman I was becoming:
Shifting to disempowered without even knowing who I was spending my time with.
Damaged and betrayed
She looks for external fixes for internal problems.
Let’s buy some hair and skin care for you, she’d say.
Ignoring people. Always working.
Without knowing why.
Uncommitted to her appointments.
Lost in her 1 dimensional world
It sounded like 5 out loud.
Something felt off.
I continued talking to her about all my relationships, it felt like her life was spilling into mine and I couldn’t get out.
She encouraged me through her own past to be involved with a man who was highly unwell and attempted harm on us both.
These were the facades of the longest shadow, and also where the most leaning in, learning, growth, and shifting took place for me.
She never made time to be my friend.
Women who invite you over to cook and bake, go out for dinner or tea, drink, make silly videos on YouTube, get your hair and nails done, and drag you to parties, may be friendly towards you but they aren’t necessarily what we call friendship.
Physical and emotional care is wellness. And I knew it.
But, we ignore the signs I think because we believe ourselves into feeling like we need someone when they don’t need anyone.
We don’t need, we just focus on building ourselves, discovering health in new ways.
Values, personal qualities, standards, strengths, and illuminated boundaries are the ingredients to the foundation of a true friend.
It took me almost 2 years to speak up and drop the knife.
Look for the meaning in the experience.
Nothing can make up for the aligned place within.
I have since showed up to never expected experiences that I created from what I’ve healed from.
Now this woman can go inside, she can shift it, and externally it must change.
This is personal power.
Evolving deeper and deeper into the highest expression of who I was meant to be.
We all have attributes that make-up our character.
Attributes show up, but they are inherent to our nature and it is a matter of adaptability to get out of situations that we need in order to be our best and to become these healed attributes.
And it happens through living our higher self. And that self is mere awareness.
Dive in. I believe in you.
Jan 23, 2021
Jan 23, 2021 at 11:59 AM UTC