#heavyheart
Why are these sudden emotions
revolving inside me now,
when my whole life was the same —
nothing special happened before,
nothing’s happening now,
and nothing seems likely to change ahead?
Yet somehow,
my heart feels heavier tonight.
Apr 6
Apr 6, 2026 at 9:05 AM UTC
Look at me
do I really look like I want to die?
Yes, you do.
You keep tearing yourself apart like a hound,
hurting, hunting
for feelings that aren’t yours.
Your eyes, bloodshot.
Your skin, torn.
Your mind wandering,
searching for space to breathe.
I look into your pools of red,
praying I can heal you,
fix you,
mend this limping body of yours.
But I know my limits.
I know I can’t go to the moon and back for you,
no matter how much I want to.
So instead,
I choose to stay.
I choose to hold you.
And wonder with you
rather than leave you alone in the dark.
Jan 20
Jan 20, 2026 at 5:51 PM UTC
The pain doesn't come in waves
it's a weight,
crushing my lungs until I can't breathe.
Tears don't feel, they burn–
a fire stuck inside my throat,
silent and relentless
You never had to say goodbye,
because the space you left
is a wound that never closes
I'm gasping for air
in the ruins of us,
where every breath
feels like losing you all over again.
Dec 9, 2025
Dec 9, 2025 at 2:14 AM UTC
"Some things can only be carried as a responsibility throughout the life and can never be out of love."
Jun 12, 2025
Jun 12, 2025 at 12:45 AM UTC
my heart feels heavy again
i don’t know if i can carry it alone again
i don’t think i want to carry it alone again
i’ll just carry it alone again.
May 9, 2021
May 9, 2021 at 5:55 PM UTC
You still hold on
though you know it will end very soon.
Jun 26, 2018
Jun 26, 2018 at 10:51 PM UTC
Your eyes.
The way they sparkled when they would lay on me....
That's all I have.
That's all I remember.
Cause if I think farther,
Remember more than that about you,
I'll break down and lose the girl I've been trying to make ever since you left.
So that's all I remember,
Your eyes.
Jun 21, 2019
Jun 21, 2019 at 12:19 AM UTC
The crown weighs heavy
Atop the kings head
All his seers laid out in front of him.
Every one of them dead
They couldn't speak of what they saw
Not a single one dared
As they slit their own throats
So the King's life was spared
His heart weighs heavy
As he puts his wife to rest
With his stillborn daughter
Laying peacefully on her breast
All he has left of them
Is the tattoo on his chest
Above five loving words
"The dearest and the best"
Feb 11, 2019
Feb 11, 2019 at 4:18 PM UTC
Tonight I have a heavy Heart
They shoved me in the dirt
Tears rolling down slowly
Why can’t I just be
Tonight I have a heavy Heart
Cannot control the hurt
Feelings are crushing me
Why can’t I just be
Tonight I have a heavy Heart
I wonder, will it stop
Ô my, heavy Heart
May 4, 2018
May 4, 2018 at 4:54 PM UTC
i know all your letters by heart
and maybe
that's why it feels so heavy
Jan 31, 2018
Jan 31, 2018 at 3:07 PM UTC
Ambiguity, dubious intent
Let those all flee from me
All I need and want
Is certainty and clarity
As I must take action
With empty solidarity
And heavy heart filled
With mercury and lead
Which can be fixed
By the Alchemist of mystery
But nonetheless to the end
I will be forever known to be
Alone in my own sweet misery
Aug 27, 2017
Aug 27, 2017 at 11:01 AM UTC
I watch as I trace my finger against the wall
taking in the noise it makes as the nail comes in
contact with the wallpaper
there must be more to life than this
having the little things impact me the way they do
not knowing what to do with this heavy heart of mine
not knowing how to continue on
my body feels so weighed down
and my head is battling the fog
i’m looking for the light
to save me from the darkness
but something tells me
it’s not coming
May 26, 2017
May 26, 2017 at 9:25 PM UTC
Surrounded by green
The trees whisper their secrets
My heart is light and my mind is free
I stray from the gravel path
And find myself at a pond
The birds are chirping and the sun is shining
I think I forgot my sunscreen
It didn't matter though
In that moment I was alive
And one with the world around me
I breathe in the crisp air
It smells of leaves and the sea
As I watch the fish swimming
In the water beneath me
As the sun sets
and I turn to leave
I hear some footsteps
Catching up to me
And in my slow pace
I turn to see a young boy
His hair is matted
And he looks alone
Lost in the world as tears fill his eyes
I kneel down to speak to him
Ask him where his family is
He starts to cry as he speaks
Very few words but just enough for me
He claims no one loves him
That whenever he meets a new family
They get rid of him
Call him a burden
My heart hurts for this child
He can't be but 5
And yet here he is
The place of my peace
Seems to be his nightmare
I couldn't let myself leave
Knowing this little soul
Had no place to call home
I offer to give him a ride and a meal
While I call to speak to the authorities
His eyes brighten and tears threaten me
The sparkle of happiness is unexplainable
And my heart feels for him
So I lift him onto my shoulders
And we go home
No one knows anything about the child
His name appears nowhere and the police think I'm crazy
They come to check on him
But they can't see
How can you not see?
My mind is racing as I try to comprehend their words
They say I need some sleep
And maybe I'll feel better in the morning
I make a bed for him with blankets
And pillows from the couch
It's not much but it seems he's slept on worse
So he smiles and drifts off to sleep
I wonder what he dreams about
I wake up to a heavy heart
Tears choke my lungs
And I don't understand
Nothing has changed
It's just a new day
I head downstairs and the boy is gone
The pillows and blankets are tucked away
Exactly how they were the other day
Maybe I am going crazy
Days turn into weeks
And my heart still weighs on my chest
My muscles ache and now
I can no longer rest
I haven't left the house aside from work and school
I can't convince myself to do anything
But the weight on my shoulders
And my clouded mind
Beg for some relief
So I drive to the place that was my sanctuary
Until I met him
The grass has yellowed
And the trees have silenced
The sun burns into my skin again
But this time it hurts
I search for the pond but cannot find it
I walk for hours and still there's nothing
But a rustling in the brush peaks my curiosity
And as I break through the dying leaves
My foot sinks into a slurp of mud
A swamp lay before me
The water green and murky
I swear it can't be the same
Not the beautiful pond I witnessed the other day
I scan the water for the fish
Maybe that'd prove its different
But the same golden scales reflect back into my eyes
But there's something else
Something wrong
My reflection
I lean in closer to get a better view
A gasp escaping my lips in disbelief
Bags surround my eyes, which no longer sparkle in the light,
my hair flys in every direction
I see no life
I barely recognize it as myself
But that didn't disturb me so intensely
No, in those waters
The person that stared back at me
Was not alone
They supported something on their shoulders
As I look closer in disbelief
His eyes stare brightly back at me
But it appears we've switched
Because he has my glowing green eyes
And I have his
They're dark.
Empty.
His arms wrap snugly around my throat
And his knees dig into my ribs
He looks genuinely happy
And I swear I hear a whimsical laugh
Echoing off the water
And I realize all too late
That he was never really concrete
Only a concoction of my mind
A projection of part of me
A part so lost and alone
Playing the victim and
Begging for some attention.
And I opened my arms to him so easily
It's been years and he still haunts me
He weighs on my shoulders
Keeps me awake at night
Because if I sleep he's no longer the priority
While he drains my energy
I cannot imagine my life without him
He represents the deepest part of me
My damaged soul and empty heart
I chose to take on this responsibility
And my entire world has changed
The shadows haunt me on the brightest days
And the beauty i once saw
Takes a new form
as the dead inside of me.
Yet he listens when no one else can
He understand my fears and pain
As burdensome as it is to support him
I know, with him, I am never alone.
His name is Depression
And now he'll never leave.
Jul 19, 2016
Jul 19, 2016 at 9:55 AM UTC
Oft repeated feelings
Carrying the burden
Of yesteryear
Sits heavy on the heart
Moments, once true and fancy
Gave immense pleasure
Turn against you
Leaving you aside
Dreams become nightmares
Halls of fame
Bring you much ignominy
Sudden reversal of fortune
Can become your nemesis
Carrying the memories
Deep within the confines
Of the once happy heart
Rusted and tired
It still beats with anticipation
Of a reconciliation
Jan 17, 2015
Jan 17, 2015 at 8:22 AM UTC
Arrange my mind's galaxies and planets.
Sedate angry asteroids and burning comets.
Align for me my heart's constellations.
Clear the clouded nebulae in my intentions.
Turn the moon gently to look upon me,
So I may find the sea of tranquillity...
Tonight.
Oct 10, 2014
Oct 10, 2014 at 12:20 PM UTC