#fulfillment
I often feel like
All of my hopes & dreams are frivolous
Because I can’t seem to establish basic agency
Or stability in my life
So what hope is there
Of my life ever having any kind of meaning
Or sense of fulfillment in the future?
My dreams mean nothing
Because my life means nothing.
Because ultimately,
I’m not actually meant to be a human.
How do I get rid of my dreams?
I’ll never be able to even try to fulfill them,
Much less fulfill them.
It’s too painful to keep dreaming
But I don’t know how to stop.
May 13
May 13, 2026 at 7:28 PM UTC
The more you lend your money ear,
the more it takes away your cheer.
Jan 11
Jan 11, 2026 at 12:32 PM UTC
At last, It's finally in my grasp-
May I now lay my head down and rest?
I've endured so much suffering and pain
Is this truly my last test?
I'd be lying if I said I didn't want it to end
After all, my sorrow has stayed with me through it all
Like a good, cherished friend.
So maybe my better judgement I'll ignore,
And forget about this final test that lays before-
Because "I have nothing but my sorrow..."
"And I want nothing more."
Dec 2, 2025
Dec 2, 2025 at 2:57 PM UTC
A woman without someone to love
Is a woman incomplete;
Like a flower devoid of nectar
Sends bees into hasty retreat
Her mind is a wearied battleground --
Uncertainty ebbs and flows;
Loneliness - a cruel adversary,
But hopelessness - the worst of foes
Like an unlit candle her heart waits
For Love to kindle the fire,
And when the wick has been set ablaze
It responds with burning desire
A woman with no one to love her
Does not yield, despite the pain;
Eagerly she greets each day with hope,
(Hope keeps us bound by a strong chain)
So she dreams of her prince who'll bestow
A rose-laden diadem;
But until the roses bud and bloom,
She'll find only thorns on the stem
Nov 19, 2025
Nov 19, 2025 at 1:58 PM UTC
A burgeoning dream /
That proliferates /
Even as my physical body /
Wanes /
A lingering will /
That compels me forth every day of my life. /
Dreams are the quintessence of life: /
Ineffably rare & tender. /
Dreams give me hope /
They instill within me the fortitude /
The impetus /
To bring them to fruition. /
But sometimes /
I fathom the fulfillment of the promise
/
Shall ne’ er come to pass, /
As though I am not enough /
As though I will remain /
In limbo. /
I beseech The Cosmo-Plexus of Empyreal Love /
That my dreams are fulfilled. /
A wish is inviolable power /
Cast in the light of reverie; /
Therefore, I await the day /
When my prayers are fulfilled. /
(—Se’ lah)
09-05-2025
Sep 8, 2025
Sep 8, 2025 at 9:50 AM UTC
I
Today my heart is beating a sorrowful tune
and I don’t really know if it will end soon.
Since your departure all seems to be amiss
a pale reflection of that once heavenly bliss.
I have been left stranded on an alien shore
to fend for myself groping near your door.
The aftertaste of delight which our union once exuded
lingers on now in memory and feels like I was deluded.
Something doesn’t seem to be quite the same
even though I remember and repeat your name.
Your presence was what made the difference then
such a tangible feeling: will you not come again?
I can only endeavor to lure you back once more
so please don’t any of my genuine efforts ignore.
II
I look for you everywhere that I happen to go
but where you’re to be found I’d like to know.
Some say you’re in the heart and to look within
while others assert that you’re in the next of kin.
Life is really a situation of relationships with you
and knowledge of the ways of love gets us through.
If we come across difficulties and obstacles by love they’re resolved
which engenders compassion and understanding as it gets involved.
There are many people in the world who look in all the wrong places
searching for the same thing here in the available surrounding spaces.
Hoping that what they’ll find is what their heart most desires
and to fulfil this craving their mind with their heart conspires.
Our inner being or soul though is the silent witness observing it all
and expresses itself as our higher conscience when we heed its call.
III
To suffer in the agony of a lover’s separation we learn
that being away from the Beloved makes the heart burn.
It is even worse when the Beloved has gone away not saying why
and the lover has been left alone in the throes of love high and dry.
The heart cannot bear the pain of love in separation
and the mind seeks to achieve a suitable reconciliation.
When the power of love rules the heart mind hastens to obey
and doesn’t need any other reason to cause unwanted delay.
If all the lover’s efforts to a reunion only end in despair
then it may be better to let the matter rest awhile there.
True love cannot be really denied except at a great personal cost
and in desperation we seldom realise the value of what’s been lost.
There is a saying that: ‘love will always find a way’
and that a heart full of love over the mind holds sway.
IV
As I was never given a reason why you suddenly left
I can only assume that there isn’t one and love is bereft.
The heart has its own reasons which the mind can’t fathom
so the mind depends on the heart for matters in its *****
Where the Beloved goes there the lovers also have to follow
because love is the magnet that draws them all nigh to go.
When the fragrance of love is in the air and lovers imbibe its scent
the intoxicating effect is a strong potion which on the heart is bent.
Man’s feeble mind relies more on the heart when the matter of love is concerned
but if the mind dominates and rationalises through the intellect love is adjourned.
If the mind of the lover is centred in the heart where the play of love is unfolding
it will experience anguish and misery when the Beloved anything is withholding.
All true lovers will always seek the company and well-being of their beloved
and are never satisfied with remaining at a distance if love is being uncovered.
V
Whose fault is it may I inquire if anyone falls irresistibly in love
and the processes of love in separation overwhelm as from above?
What can one really do but follow wherever their heart leads
and undergo the agony in seeing that love is not displeased.
In seeking the pleasure of the Beloved one’s life becomes fulfilled
which otherwise would remain barren like a desolate land untilled.
When the Beloved sows the seeds of love in the fertile soil of one’s heart
all that was in there when that time comes must be sublimated or depart.
The arrows of love seek to pierce their target which is the heart of the lover
and the Beloved is the one drawing the bow with intent to **** we discover.
To die for love is much better than to live without we’ve heard often before
and those who lose their life in the cause of the Beloved will live forevermore.
When the heart is purified and pure love is awakened by the Beloved’s grace
any who are the recipients thereof realize that love in separation has its place.
Nov 14, 2010
Nov 14, 2010 at 7:37 PM UTC
When will it ever be enough?
As a kid, I was always taught to reach my potential—
to set goals above my expectations
and work hard to become a better version of myself.
But when will this version be enough?
When do I finally come to terms with myself?
Will I ever be at peace with whom I’ve come to be.
Satisfied with the person I’ve built for years?
When will I learn to accept
that I don’t have to be at constant war with myself
for simply being normal?
As Mary Oliver once said:
“You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.”
But in this society, it feels impossible.
They’ve linked the term mediocre
with failure,
and so, at night,
many stare at their ceiling,
feeling like a let-down,
simply because they couldn’t be more.
It’s why elderly men don’t retire—
because even at their age,
they’re expected to keep improving.
But what if we chose instead
to normalize self-acceptance?
What if we allowed ourselves
to recognize the effort
that carried us to where we are today?
It’s okay if you’re not the next millionaire.
You don’t have to be the next Albert Einstein.
So many tell us that life is about growth—
a constant journey of becoming better.
And maybe they’re right.
But life is also too short
to live with the endless mindset
of wanting to complete everything
in the span of one lifetime.
We must learn to appreciate.
To slow down,
and build our own meaning.
Because it never depended on anyone else.
It didn’t matter
when your boss labeled you as ‘replaceable’
It didn’t matter
when you anticipated that raise
and never got it.
It didn’t matter
when you hit rock bottom
and struggled to stand again.
Remember this:
Being human never made you weak.
It made you uniquely capable
of becoming stronger.
Life is what you make of it—
not what others call average,
but what you choose to see as
success.
Feb 20, 2025
Feb 20, 2025 at 11:38 PM UTC
Despite the hardships we endure,
And of the misfortune visited upon us,
There is much opportunity for joy
If we are brave enough to discover it
And venture to uncover it.
Friendship like romanticism
Giving us momentum,
And belief like passion
Giving us objective.
But will you make the journey
Or settle where you have started?
Will you call home wherever you landed?
Feb 13, 2025
Feb 13, 2025 at 1:39 AM UTC
In the "loneliness",
I find connection.
In the "boredom",
I find fulfillment.
In the "silence",
I find serenity.
Why aren't you at peace?
Feb 13, 2025
Feb 13, 2025 at 1:28 AM UTC
The blacksmith works the iron ore
with tongs and hammer on anvil’s brow:
Within his forge’s fiery core
grows metal soft, with carbon endowed.
The coal turns grey, much like his beard
drawn out by age to wiry lace —
a silver mine that roughly rears
from his craggy quarry of a face.
In his chest, the same fire roars,
a molten furnace fueled by air
****** in by bellows, lungs engorged,
then exhaled in the bright sparks’ glare.
The chimney of his mind is filled
with sparks that dance, a glowing throng,
arising through his thoughts that thrill
to the rhythmic beat of his anvil’s song.
Reflected in his clouded eyes,
mixed in with soot and sweat and toil,
the steel sings out in joyous cries,
its notes ascending to a boil.
For though the years have dimmed his sight,
he sees through the smoke and flame. He knows
how he will find fulfilled delight —
when he with music his craft bestows.
Dec 4, 2024
Dec 4, 2024 at 10:25 AM UTC
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all;
But, like the Ghost at Pentecost,
True love stays when it comes to call.
Of all sad words of tongue or pen
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
For _us_ the saddest words are _not:_
What might have been has been _a lot!_
Jun 12, 2024
Jun 12, 2024 at 4:21 PM UTC
Doves flown off a high-rise,
Expectantly eager
To show how much they know
And how great they are;
People today have such a need to prove themselves.
For whom, and to what?
Such fruitless times,
When new growth
Rots on the vine.
May 15, 2024
May 15, 2024 at 2:19 PM UTC
I am smiling at your thought that the Apple Picker
has nearly died from standing on that ladder,
From hearing rumbling apples falling into the bins...
I have worked that hard as well, and I didn't die.
When a person works all day, standing on a ladder,
Or holding a paint brush, or swinging a hammer,
Or driving a tractor or truck, or shoveling manure....
You get the picture....
Yes, we grow blisters. Yes, we are exhausted.
Yes, we would rather be lounging on a beach
Almost anywhere else in the world...,
But the truth is this: After a long day's hard work,
Food fills most excellently,
The shower? The shower is the best shower ever,
And the sleep? The sleep is the sleep of the dead,
Dreamless, full of rest....
Apr 2, 2024
Apr 2, 2024 at 7:28 AM UTC
so exciting, so fascinating, so
wholly fulfilling, so viscerally
gratifying to
think, to think deeply, to ponder
the delicate prism of our reality
and its' infinite possibilities
that one is left
giddy
Feb 25, 2024
Feb 25, 2024 at 4:11 PM UTC
To simplify,
To complicate,
These questions, on repeat,
In my questioning, confused head.
What do I want from this world,
Beyond simplification,
Yet a fraction of complication?
I’ll never know.
All I know, is that incarcerated birds,
still cheerfully chirp,
And nothing is ever what it seems,
Not even people.
I learned the hard way,
Achieving desires means,
Losing drive,
A sense of purpose,
And all fulfillment subsides.
Success is a state of mind,
Placement is what brings you peace,
So much to experience,
Yet so little focus.
At a certain point,
When getting old,
This contemplation follows,
And leaves me with nothing to show,
For all that I’ve experimented with—
Because staying put is too hard to bear.
Nov 18, 2023
Nov 18, 2023 at 11:49 PM UTC
Many hats on my head,
Many titles to claim,
I find it fulfilling to be,
Everything that motivates me.
One day I’m a fireman,
Another day I am a jailer,
This day I’m a poet,
Tomorrow I’ll be a mailer.
What’s funny is this,
A name and a shield,
Is merely a buck for a meal,
My ignorance is so bliss.
These paths are not me,
They are merely a guide,
For me to find whomever is me,
On a security guard’s salary.
To make films or to weep,
To keep jails or to sleep,
To fight fires or to leap,
Into this pen of little sheep.
Why is it that I,
Aim to be that guy,
Who’s career should imply,
That I’m “something” till I die?
An artist,
An actor,
An experiment of all factors,
I try hard to be somebody,
When I’m already my own everybody.
I’m exactly what I need to be,
In this world of all these faces,
Masks grow tight around these cheeks,
Why aspire to climb mountains,
And reach such heightening places?
I’m a detective one day,
An electrician by night,
A silly little dreamer,
Always ready to take on flight.
I’ll pilot this aircraft,
And spread my wings a’sailing,
Without prejudice or hesitation,
I may not always succeed,
But I’m never failing.
Oct 23, 2023
Oct 23, 2023 at 12:20 AM UTC
People -
so many bodies…
Some seem to engage
for but a moment, of course,
before bustling past on hot sidewalks,
with varied smidgens of mind and heart;
collections of vibrating chemistry,
moving to specific oscillations.
How to make sense of it all?
We can be drawn to warm embers,
avoid icy slaps on our cheeks reddening.
Grey shapes pass us by, hardly registering a blip -
are they nothing more than the flotsam of flailing limbs
echoing our own caustic needs and wants pending?
Yet we all want much the same things in life:
to be noticed with kindness by the benign,
safe from the razor-blade elements,
find our slot in life that counts,
and leave something good
for posterity, if it comes…
For dots of humanity
of which we are a part,
in some fashion or another,
keep floating giddily past us…
Are they up for what will come
with stoic resistance, or neglect?
Do they expect some dystopia
and the terrors of a dark night?
Ask the fretting little children,
who can’t sleep for their fright!
They too need a river of peace ~
the Promise to be fulfilled
made by One wiser
than all else…
~~
Mar 16, 2023
Mar 16, 2023 at 7:58 PM UTC
Finding the flow
The balance
The art
Of fulfillment
And letting go
Knowing when to say yes
When to say no
Self care at its best
Proof that I’ve grown.
Jul 7, 2022
Jul 7, 2022 at 2:17 PM UTC
I forgot this feeling
I forgot how he made me feel
I don't know how to express myself in a way I would like to
I really don't want to open up
Because all that brings is sadness and empty promises
But in a way, I feel like a butterfly when it comes to him
I guess I never knew what I really was missing
Maybe I am scared to take the next step because it feels all new to me once again
I'm scared to step into newness because it always ends up being another hell instead of the heaven I deserve
May 19, 2022
May 19, 2022 at 5:12 PM UTC
To be seen for the first time;
Your palm pressed firmly against my cheek but I felt it radiate in my chest. Watching your eyes gazing the horizon of my pupil. Getting lost in the breathless moment of our desire escaping. I don't think there are enough thank you's to be said about that moment. By now I would have already created an extended fantasy of this night turning into a lifetime, but not this time. This moment shall be pressed like lilacs in between my journal just as is. This time I don't pray this road leads anywhere other than where it actually ends. I could have said I loved you in that moment but I waited till after you left & just told the universe thank you. Thank you for whatever this transforms or ceases to be.
Oct 19, 2021
Oct 19, 2021 at 1:27 AM UTC
I want to stand,
on solid ground,
a canopy covered cloud,
to dream all day-round,
I want to live,
my best life,
and breathe,
like there's only,
today
Mar 30, 2021
Mar 30, 2021 at 3:17 PM UTC
There is no secret meaning to life,
Nor is anyone special.
To be honest, I don’t really care.
I’m not too fond of fate,
And I never wanted to be special.
I simply wish to live,
And create my own purpose.
Mar 13, 2021
Mar 13, 2021 at 11:58 PM UTC
Romeos never come too late
to rescue your Juliets
Juliets don’t wait in vain.
Life is too precious.
Shell ✨🐚
Feb 10, 2021
Feb 10, 2021 at 6:25 PM UTC
I have chased after walls, smiles and hearts in this life time but I lost all of them.
Listen, I lost my sense words and worth, So I couldn't even send sweet nothings out to world, It was the masses that spoke for me, A bone or two I could have had. But the voices screamed louder than the symphonies of grace deep in my soul.
I left marks of anguish and turmoil in my trail but
Happily dug for the light under the soil
Only to find poisonous stares,
Stares of spite and unworthiness
By time, those stares became a stolen mirror image of myself.
I cried out to the universe in pieces of broken records, my pleas could have turned into gracious melodies but the lack of belief in the letter "I" crippled that faith.
Anyway, I could tell you that this is the life I live, But since when does a caged bird live?
Tired and burned out I whisper, before I leave,
Could look my way and let your fluorescent light capture my weary heart
Embrace my arms with truth of the self, Within that knowledge I believe I will be reborn.
Remember to look my way and lend me that spark of hope to actually LIVE without regret,
Before I leave, receive me and mould me into life itself overwhelmed with purpose,
the essence of a higher being
Feb 10, 2021
Feb 10, 2021 at 11:30 AM UTC
I am the one who is
always waiting.
Always anticipating
for what is to come
or what may come.
Waiting to become
better,
bigger,
than who I feel that I am.
Stronger than what
I think that I am.
Never fully comfortable with,
never really secure in,
what is present in
the moment.
I wait with
this expectation that
there must always be more
than what there really is.
That I must be more
than what I am.
There sets a purpose,
an endeavor,
before me.
And then, once more,
there's another again.
I anticipate for each and every
opportunity and probability,
then I wait- once more-
for what's to follow.
It's the story of a life
that has an inevitable ending
but with no one
foreseen wrapped up conclusion.
And maybe,
I could see this as just
my adaptability and ability
for such impeccable growth.
Yet, while I wait,
here plays out
each sequence of my world
that races right on past me
before I can even savor
the pure fulfillment,
the true wholeness,
of just one single moment.
And how that precise moment,
in a single instant,
can be gone.
Jan 28, 2021
Jan 28, 2021 at 8:48 PM UTC