#findyourself
As I walk through the corridors of my life,
see a-me that seems familiar
but I can't remember it ,
It calls out to me
hear it but can't answer
a mirror of me calling out
and asking to be free.
I see it but won't answer
for the expectations to up hold,
are too painful to attain.
I crawl and beg for this suffering to end
as I see a-me I'm forced to be
and as I see a-me I want to be.
I search and search on how I can be both
but life itself won't let me be.
When will my suffering end?
when will I be allowed to be me?
The real me!!
When will I be allowed to be free?
as I constantly juggle between two personalities
as one who is me
and the other is who I am forced to be.
Jan 21
Jan 21, 2026 at 4:32 PM UTC
To find
the light
is like to
find hope.
I fight
the voices.
My mind
bury burdens
every night
Dragging me
in the dark,
Stabbing
my heart—
Left me
broken
To find
the light,
you sometimes
become the dark
to survive—
To break
apart what
controls you—
To hold
onto you
and never
lose you—
To let go—
To hope…
Dec 16, 2024
Dec 16, 2024 at 2:51 AM UTC
I find solace in the quiet,
And see comfort in the loss.
I need to sit and contemplate with my own thoughts.
I'm easily persuaded
Then my mind gets all mixed up
I like it better lonely, it's being together that's tough.
Nov 22, 2024
Nov 22, 2024 at 12:04 PM UTC
You forgot who you are
You forgot what sets you apart
You forgot what makes you special
You forgot what you've been through
You forgot what prepared you for now
You forgot your victory over pain
You forgot you are chosen
You forgot you are set apart
You traded it for the pain of the world
The standards of the world
The pain of the world
The darkness of the world
The vices of the world
The pleasure of the world
And it made you forget
How amazing you are
How everytime you fall you get up
How determined you are to love
How excited you are to change
How beautiful your soul is
How you exhude life
How you came to do great things
How you are set apart
Remember?
Jun 23, 2020
Jun 23, 2020 at 2:54 PM UTC
after 15 years of pretending
she finally found the strength
to be who she was made to be.
Apr 4, 2020
Apr 4, 2020 at 2:50 AM UTC
You think you know
But do we
Truly understand ourselves?
Feb 25, 2020
Feb 25, 2020 at 9:51 AM UTC
There is a girl who sits and waits,
The one, who has it all.
Her patience is stoic,
Ignored, wronged, misunderstood, and forgiving
she waits.
Patiently,
And when I look inside, shes always there, just waiting to be found...
...waiting to be me.
Dec 8, 2019
Dec 8, 2019 at 11:10 PM UTC
Days become more like
Sunny-cloudy days.
You come to a sense of awareness
Of everything around.
The way you feel
The way you think
You have finally reach your own headspace.
Sitting in silence allowing your mind to run
Across the field of where you truly want to be
Focusing on what things are instead of for what
Things could be... not everything is what is seems.
Happiness isn’t a destination it’s a journey.
When you learn to let go of things that do not serve
you, you create space for abundance. Allowing
Everything to flow in it’s most natural state.
Still going through a couple of
Obstacles that will cause interference,
we must learn to overcome these
challenges, to let go of the U
You Used to be and become stronger
as we grow.
Sit back and relax let peace
Wash over your back
Feel the presence of this moment
And let it just be that.
Jun 30, 2019
Jun 30, 2019 at 2:24 AM UTC
I thought I'd find me
When I touched your soul; sadly
I became obscure
s.q.
.
Jun 25, 2019
Jun 25, 2019 at 12:50 AM UTC
My heart pounding on the door of my chest like a bailiff demanding the rent to be paid
No, I say I just can’t
Acknowledge me please, says my love drunk heart
No, I say just can’t
But to ignore me is to ignore yourself, says my grief stricken heart
No, I say I just can’t
Nothing is stronger than my relentless beating, says my powerful heart; I’m waiting when you’re ready
No, I say I just can’t
Love my dear it can and it will
Nov 28, 2018
Nov 28, 2018 at 6:44 AM UTC
Losing vision on the mountain, sun begins to set
Find us standing at the summit, shaped by silhouette
Search for answers in the wild, or find inner peace
Let what you know begin to flow, spiritual release
As worries numb, answers will come, time is only now
Succumb to senses, drop defenses, find oneself somehow
Oct 17, 2018
Oct 17, 2018 at 12:18 PM UTC
Fragmented,
I stand split between here and there
watching the world as it spins around me.
I once made decisions solely based on you:
On your needs
and wants
and dreams.
Now I no longer move in any direction.
Not because my voice can't echo off tall ceilings,
But because I truly don't care if you can hear me anymore.
Sometimes the stagnant quiet is louder than anything I ever could have said
Jul 12, 2018
Jul 12, 2018 at 12:23 AM UTC
I live in this own world that I created!
I created my own rules!
Away from the world that I hated!
Living with these narrow minded fools!
There isn't a bed time nor a time to wake up!
It's just things that I make up!
You are who you are here!
No worries no fear!
This world is small but has one open mind!
Place where you find!
Find yourself, Find who you really are!
These place is wierd, but pain is far!
No animal to live, no birds to fly!
No one to say Hi, No one to say bye!
-Vivek!
Jul 10, 2018
Jul 10, 2018 at 11:29 AM UTC
I looked up at the stars not to seek out life.
There's life here.
I looked up at the stars not to see the beauty.
There's beauty here.
I looked up at the stars not to lose myself.
I looked up to find myself.
Feb 4, 2018
Feb 4, 2018 at 8:09 AM UTC
When did I become such a liar?
I lie to myself in the morning.
“This is how you are,
Who you want to be.”
Walk with swag,
Never staggering.
Talk with boldness,
Never stuttering.
But is how I act a true representation
Of who my soul really is?
Going in circles
I try to find myself.
I lie to myself in the night.
“You never needed anyone,
You’re free when alone.”
Dance by yourself,
Never clinging.
Talk to yourself,
Never needing.
But why then does my heart hurt when you are not at my side?
Jumping at shadows
I am caught lonely.
Empty masks to cover my flaws.
Fake smiles to hide my need for love.
Why do I hide behind the facade,
Pretending to have found myself
in the dark?
Jan 29, 2018
Jan 29, 2018 at 1:23 PM UTC
a river without direction
water is warm,
yet sends me shivers
they call out his name,
yet he’s nameless now
holding rebellion
between his teeth
rules escape him
just as the smoke
from his mouth
he smirks at me
faking pride
however, his eyes are lost
on his own reflection
he sees himself
in the blue
because
he’s a river
with no direction
he's warm,
yet sends me shivers
Dec 9, 2017
Dec 9, 2017 at 12:01 PM UTC
Lost in my head
Lost in the shadow of life
Can't come out
Can't find what's right
I'm slowly wilting my petals dying
When I want to bloom effortlessly like a flower
Become who I should be what I've always dreamed
Become indulged always in the present hour
Feel proud of what I do and finally content
Be proud of myself
Instead of longing for what is already long gone
Looking like a still porcelain doll on her shelf
How's it that everyone is moving with the commotion
While I'm as cold and as full as the ocean
After a storm with the waves now calm
I remain small enough to fit in a child's palm
Jun 27, 2017
Jun 27, 2017 at 9:50 AM UTC
night is falling,
falling,
falling
the clouds rush to and fro,
needless journeys with no end nor beginning
scrolls of verbs written across the sky in messy
tangles
of confusion and stress and mayhem.
wind picks up leaves and dances with them,
but tethered they are and tethered they shall stay
and the wind quickly finds the only companions that are his to keep for a while longer
are birds and misplaced people wrapped in tinfoil.
a noise echoes from far away
singular ears strain toward the nothing that is something
searching for more and more
as something begins less and less to shine
and the stars never rise from bed
except to manifest themselves as wet teardrops
from which everyone hides, sheltering himself,
discouraging any future expression
of weariness and quivering and loss.
the tears meet the grass in a show of quiet surrender
the grass turning to their nighttime lovers
yearning, ever so much farther,
to be reunited with another display of lacerated love
from the shy sky and affected darkness
i also regard myself to the stars’
seeking one lash of freezing acknowledgement,
seeking one who knows what i feel down here
seeking, if only because i am not everyone
nor am i alone a stone,
but i am the clouds,
the stories,
i am the wind, alone in joy and pain,
i am the whisper from the mountains, never heard but always uttered,
i am the stars, never seen but ever seeking,
i am the rain, a magic, shunned by all but those who crave life,
i am the grass, hoping in vain to meet to the one i love in joyful tandem,
i am they, and they are i,
and i sit in a seat to my left and shake as my soul is read from a paled paper
hoping to the roots that someone who is not everyone might come out of their home
and drink the sky with me.
May 5, 2016
May 5, 2016 at 9:20 PM UTC
Wealth is a Mind
Where Love is just a Kind
Wholly It looks Blind
But live Two and then Grind
For you know, you will not Find
Another like your Bind
The Differences are Sublime
It's a Shadow that will Remind
That IT will NOT MATTER in due Time
Mar 19, 2016
Mar 19, 2016 at 9:42 AM UTC
Get your own sound
Where you get it don’t matter
Borrow it
Change it
Rearrange it
Till they don’t recognize it
Then it’s yours
Think about it
Live with it
Become it
Till you recognize it in a dream
Then it’s you
You found it one night
But you didn’t write it down
You were driving a car
Long ago
It all came together
You didn’t trust yourself
The information wasn’t enough
It wasn’t whole
It didn’t feel like Sunday afternoon enough
You wanted it to be about peace
But is that your sound?
It may only be a moment
A break from the past
Or the concern
What atmosphere did you suppress?
You didn’t recognize it
That’s why it was you
You only can recognize someone else
You aren’t CONFIDENT about new thoughts
Nobody is
You have to suffer through it
Walk with strangers
Sleep on concrete
I saw a man do that the other day
Everybody stepped over him
And you have so much more
But what do you hear?
Stop reacting
You have heard every word there is
You have felt every emotion there is
Put it all together
There was a friend once
The one you tell stories about
Their genius was being different
But they were too much for you
You couldn’t live like that
They were too loud
You couldn’t hear yourself
They were primitive
Without any dignity
Yet you remember
Raw
But then elegance and poise
Elegance and poise
Is that what made you stumble?
Just words that strangle
Sunday afternoon
Is that your sound?
Are you listening?
It may be that you are not
Mere existence
Not knowing
Not hearing
Not you
Not less
More
Nov 9, 2015
Nov 9, 2015 at 5:29 PM UTC
Not a soul can read me,
you may try or think you can.
I promise you'll never really know me.
I feel sick just thinking about
how much time I've wasted on you.
Not a soul knows how long I've felt this way,
only me.
I only have myself.
I need alone time, time to collect my thoughts.
Time to rethink my choices.
I need to find myself.
Sep 29, 2015
Sep 29, 2015 at 11:10 AM UTC
Find someone who makes you feel like the sun is something they made for you for extra credit in wood shop.
But don't find someone who needs extra credit.
There is going to be somebody that,
because of you,
will not understand what they're doing.
Or why they're doing it.
But they will do so.
Always.
I can promise you that someone will let you in.
Someone will show you that darkness can,
and will
swell.
But just like a sprained ankle,
it wont expand anywhere else.
Don't let your body enlarge into darkness.
Someone will tell you not to.
And someone will love you.
But you need to first understand that you are someone.
And that everybody who is someone needs someone.
Don't be afraid to be the one for yourself.
May 24, 2015
May 24, 2015 at 11:57 PM UTC
I look forward and see behind me.
What I see is right beside me.
That face, to me, belongs to someone else.
Different structure with a different force.
I look closer, to see beyond,
but all I see, is gone.
The endless depth of perception
is gained.
Correction.
What I see is not true.
Mind wanders to a different hue.
Peering back, and gazing closer,
I notice the imposter.
I myself am the disaster.
Causing my own storms,
in this reflection they form.
I think as I watch it unfold,
why had no one told
me.
It was me who was the stranger.
It was me who was in danger.
The person giving me grief
was a criminal, a thief.
He stole my identity,
so now I must be
me.
Jun 12, 2014
Jun 12, 2014 at 6:12 PM UTC
My soul calls to the crashing waves,
Let me drift in you like withered wood,
Let me sleep in the glistening blue,
To wake up lost on foreign land,
To be free with you again.
My heart sings to the wild wind,
Carry me away with the gusting sand,
Carry me further and further away,
Lay me in the desert sun to feel,
To be free with you again.
My mind cries to these stone walls,
Crash down and let me go,
Crash around, fall to the ground
Let me see the beauty beyond your chains,
Let me be free by myself once again.
Apr 14, 2014
Apr 14, 2014 at 9:53 PM UTC