#examination
the F in in flowers is for Friday,
somehow the ritual of weekend roses,
has devolved squarely upon my
shoulders
every F day, I am missioned
to seek out floral, les petit bijou,
for my affliction addiction to
precious colored gems precedes me,
and and flowers are dramatically
more cost effective, even cheaper (a little)
roses these days are multivariate,
and red is only for overpaying fools
who deem them romantic, moreover,
bred now with mixed hints and splashes,
the uni~unicorn single colored flower is
rapid disappearing like a blast of dinosores
three bunches come from Jesus,
(Jesus or jaysoos, your choice, he says)
the corner florist beneath the corner bodega,
seeing me, to the basement neath East 73rd St.
he apparitions, to return to his-most-favored-
-weekly-customer, with freshest delivered arrays,
for me to ponder debate and eventually pay [for]
upon receipt,with mighty Amazon shears,
she trims, fluffs and puffs them throughout
the abode so the color of refreshing is always
with her soul’d eyeshot
upon closer examination,
She delights in the whites
wherein she discovers “my newt” traces,
hints & incidences of pink which evade
my masculine insensitivities to ascertain
the l’orange are described as pinkish,
for hue am I to see what she uncovers?
while the purpled majesties are renamed
lavendered, and a spectrum of said shaded coleur,
arrayed, splayed, and displayed
this escapade to the corner,
the inspection of Jesus’s goods,
takes 15 minutes or so, because,
things done for love, with love
are always best when seasoned s l o w l y <nml>
Nov 8, 2025
Nov 8, 2025 at 8:50 AM UTC
So far as I see things today,
You cannot have a policy
Centered on ambiguity
And expect people
To take you at your word!
Even take you as being serious!
Seriously, you guys! Seriously!
There's a monster on the way!
To borrow from an absurdist, comedic series.
Yet, the point was lost anyways!
Apr 20, 2025
Apr 20, 2025 at 3:24 PM UTC
Oh right. I forgot.
There's actually ******* out there
Who are serious
About their homophobia.
About hate of
Consenual relations
Between any grown individuals
Which doesn't conform
To their perspective of love.
Righteous love.
Fanatic heterosexuals.
Ay, I can't knock women.
Obviously,
There's so much more
To loving a partner.
So much more
To a loving partner.
The life you build together,
What you do with it.
But let's hone in
On dictating individuality
And harming individual rights.
Oh right. I forgot.
There's this thing
Called the constitution.
Oh right. I forgot.
There's these things
Called amendments.
Silly me,
I guess I was on
A personal "freak."
Silly me,
I guess I waged
A personal "streak."
Oh right. I forgot.
There's this thing
Called proper interpretation.
Oh right. I forgot.
There's these things
Called existing judgements.
Ah, ****
I guess I'm against
State & church seperation.
Ah, shucks!
I guess I'm for
Totalitarian fascism.
Apr 20, 2025
Apr 20, 2025 at 1:21 PM UTC
And so we're all familiar with those;
Autocracy, atrocity, fascism.
Whatever forms those take
And whatever names given contemporarily.
However masked in any moment.
Yet, here they still happen!
Yet, they still now occur!
It's almost as though
This species really doesn't learn!
Apr 18, 2025
Apr 18, 2025 at 11:40 AM UTC
Ah, yes. Holocaust. Genocide. Yes. Pagans are familiar with that. Just not in the way that you think.
Ah, yes. Holocaust. Genocide. Yes. Abrahamics are familiar with that. Just not in the way that you think.
I've got an inquisition I've put together! We've got to exercise! Burn all these things! For surely they contain evil spirits! For why else would someone think differently from me?
No! Hogwash. Darwin? You must be mad, man! For surely you don't also contest that the Earth is the center of all of the heavens! If we're not special, why else do we exist as we exist?
Do you believe more in the imperfect or the perfect? Do you assign more value to the material or the immaterial? Is there correlation between those two? There is an obvious relation comparatively within each question. For they could be graphed on a spectrum, if one were able to conceive of that. But what is "perfect?" But what is "immaterial?" For I may find the perfections in the imperfect. For I may reach and could touch the immaterial.
No! Some council several hundred years ago settled this! No! I don't know & I don't need to know who attended. Don't need to understand that moment's political atmosphere. The motivations and intentions of those who participated. I just need to worship! I just need to worship! I just need to worship! I just need to worship! I just need to worship! I just need to worship! I just need to worship!
I just need...
Apr 18, 2025
Apr 18, 2025 at 11:34 AM UTC
If you harbor spite
For the perception of it in others
But lack the strength to investigate,
It's better to refrain from assumptions.
Perhaps you're picking up
On something that isn't real,
But a fiction of your imagination.
Perhaps they weren't serious.
Unless you have concrete evidence,
Something that confirms your suspicions.
But then, without cross-examination,
That's just another assumption.
Feb 13, 2025
Feb 13, 2025 at 2:33 AM UTC
Having caused much pain
And upset to one I love
I looked long and hard
At me to find the root
Of my failing,
I cut deep and discarded
My ego my pride
And a host of other bad
Habits that accrued
Across the years,
And deep within me
I found an eight year old
Little boy with arms
About his knees,
Head down,
His tear streaked face
Framing a mouth that
Screamed silently in pain,
Heartbreak and
Loneliness,
So I looked within
That visceral version of me,
Cutting deeper than before,
And right at his heart
I found a budded rose,
At first glance
It was perfect,
But closer view showed
Dessication discolour
And paper thin petals,
But even as I watched
Your hand appeared,
Caressed the child
Then watered his
Withered heart,
And in an instant that bud Regained its lustre
And its carmine hue,
The petals spread to glorious flower,
The silent screaming paused
In wonder then delight,
I realise now there
Was no fault in me nor
My heart or view
I just needed watering
With love
From you
Dec 24, 2023
Dec 24, 2023 at 2:57 AM UTC
Surer knowledge by cross examination
of witnesses than belief in imaginations
Will more certainty than mindless chance
Shakespeare was a man rather than monkeys
and Eve than washed up fishes learning to walk
Apr 18, 2021
Apr 18, 2021 at 1:19 AM UTC
Honestly
When you talk
I perceive different
I listen to the tone of your voice
And observe how the lips move
And when and why did you paused
And watch the expression of the face
And see the furrow of the skin waves
And inspect when the pupil dilates
And light the glow in the eyes
And track how often the head tilts
And admire the reason of your smile
And search the roots if it's the pain
And lastly I witness
How lively you feel
When I am next to you
I see it all
Listen and nod
Just listen
As a raw truth
For now
Prescribing you
Is the inside job
Get well soon
Sep 30, 2020
Sep 30, 2020 at 10:29 AM UTC
(Pentagon E-ring office—executive officer knocks & enters—General motions him in)
XO,
Explain
examinees...
Examinee
X-11,
Xander
Xanakis
Experience?
Explosives
expert.
Ex-Army.
Executive
experience
Exam?
Exceptional
Excellent!
Excessive
Exessive?
Explain
Extreme
xenophobe
(expletive)
Exclude
Examinee
X-12...
Xavier
Xanthopoulos...
Experience?
Expert—
extraction,
exfiltration.
Ex-Navy,
Executive
Experience
Exam?
Excelled
Extracuricular
extras...
Explain
Expat,
X-games,
xylophone...
Expat?
Xalapa
(chuckling)
X-games,
xylophone—
(laughs)
X-Factor!
(XO nods his head, smiling)
Xenophobic?
(shaking head)
Xenodochial.
Exeptionally
xenophilic!
Expectations?
Exceeds
Expectations
Excellent!
XO,
exclude
examinee
X-11...
Excluding
Xander
Xanakis
Expedite
Xavier
Xanthopoulos
Expediting
examinee
X-12
XO,
excused
(XO exits)
© 2020 by Mark Toney. All rights reserved.
Apr 25, 2020
Apr 25, 2020 at 2:54 PM UTC
The dermatologist demands a pre-summer scan of my visual delights fully magnified.
Peering into places where no one else has ever peered, even me, reminds me that this is a potentially "disruptive" process.
Eye don't know what his eyes have seen.
He works in silence pin punctuated by the occasional mmmm or throat clearing rumble.
Snappy removal of neutrally colored gloves signify conclusion, he opines as follows:
"Were you aware," he inquires, "that the lines, the furrows on a your forehead correspond to the life your have lead?"
"You have three, deep deep tracks, and that's a fact."
Yes, eye know,
and each one is a tree ring notation
of my existence.
Each a different year,
each a different moment fearful,
a death and a birth,
a passing, a regaining.
No, not children or parents,
illusions.
Markers of our lives are the
birth and death of our illusionary,
our revelation minutes, that measure and scribe
what dug those furrows is now officially,
no more.
Until we start anew,
a different Pretense,
a channel commenced to commemorate.
Living the dream, they say,
aren't we all, eye think, and so inform him.
The doctor did not bill for this
visitation.
May 23, 2015
May 23, 2015 at 5:23 PM UTC
When I was Born
I had Knowledge
I had Talent
I had wisdom
Then I was sent to School
They taught something new
I gained some more knowledge
Then they asked me to wrote Exam
Then exams became a routine
Weekly, Monthly, Six Monthly and Annual
School became a transformer
It transformed itself from a School to
An Examination Conducting Machine
And then I became an Idiot
I also became a Duffer
Question is – "Who ruined Me?"
Mar 3, 2019
Mar 3, 2019 at 9:38 AM UTC
He has a bad attitude
But he wears the blame on other people
He never tried the blame on for once
Maybe it never crossed his mind
Or he thinks he's too right to ever do wrong
I liken him to a blind man
Looking at several mirrors
But could never see himself
And calls all the mirrors blind
Maybe the bad attitude is not the problem
But that he is blind to see himself
Or arrogant to accept his wrongs
And that he's not a flower but thorns!
Jan 8, 2019
Jan 8, 2019 at 6:37 AM UTC
I used to open up
about how deep
I was sinking
into quicksand.
Open yet closed,
nobody really knew
me.
Demons were my lovers;
the succubus
held a flame
to my heart.
Willing to surrender,
I fought myself.
I hurt my body,
my soul…
Today I am different.
Weakness is still
my strength;
temptation still
holds my hand.
I recognize myself
in the mirror of
self-examination;
I reach out to me,
showing grace
where none is deserved.
Willing to surrender,
I forgive the old me.
I embrace myself,
and learn
to love.
Dec 21, 2018
Dec 21, 2018 at 12:48 AM UTC
We'll wave the wand
and cast the spells
all rituals observed
Pretend, that all is well
so no one can tell
we got what we deserved
Never in a million years
or ever in our lives
knowing the right from wrong
Washing our doubts and fears
dried blood upon the knives
singing loud and clear the songs
And in someway somehow
survive
Oct 26, 2018
Oct 26, 2018 at 11:08 PM UTC
Oh! Mr. Examination, oh!
Mr. Examination
For god’s sake go away,
For we have no preparation.
In class we pay so much attention,
So much as we cannot mention,
You are a burden, you are a tension.
Ah! The problem has no solution
You have given way to corruption
For cheating has become a convention,
Which leads to character destruction?
Who is responsible for this retardation?
We shout without any hesitation,
That you have dragged us to fraction.
Oh! Merciless Mr. Examination!
When will you get satisfaction?
So, run away with infinite acceleration.
We long for your immediate reaction,
Quit, Quit, YOU mental agitation!
Jul 16, 2018
Jul 16, 2018 at 6:48 AM UTC
Pain Of Place
We were happy or we weren’t.
Blended feelings formed the most;
College, restaurant, bookshop, church,
Street, park, architecture host
To chunks and bits of searching,
Forming eyes of yesterday.
Covered market, cups of tea,
Open market on a Wednesday,
Stalls of veggies, jewelry;
Child to school and child picked up,
The walking to, the walking back,
The elder tree we plucked, hands cupped,
While counted blocks betrayed a lack
Of some fulfillment. What the target?
Surely not the streets and market.
Not the people either, nor
The daily passing through home’s door.
Gone. But pictures still remain.
And with the pictures tints of pain.
Of place that’s not the face,
Not company.
The place acts independently,
Its energy “the spirit of…”
Its colors move.
Algos: pain.
Nostos: going home again.
Sweet nostalgia’s pull is ‘bull’.
Place may frame the pre-ordained;
Memory’s the game pre-pained.
Twists and lists: a dream.
Place and act, smell and sound:
Mind boundaries.
Mostly, we were happy or we weren’t.
Jan 22, 2018
Jan 22, 2018 at 8:56 AM UTC
*Today I poured away my favourite beer
for the long awaited tomorrow's already here
tomorrow I dust my feet and wipe sweat off my face
because finally I've finished running this race
tomorrow I bend down to my shoes and free my lace
pen and paper down, in honour of the moment I rest my case
tomorrow I pat myself in the back and wish myself luck
for seemingly bright is a future that was once dungeon dark,
After writing the very last word in Human Resource Class
tomorrow I'll finally take a deep breath and out, alas!
Another beginning for preference of not using new
tomorrow I've got tops to pop goat's meat to chew
tomorrow I'll dance to the rhythm of momentary serenity
I'll shout out loud from a three years' pent up insanity
to set free the monsters that had sieged my psyche
tomorrow my life changes because I'll start another hike
an adventure to nowhere for that's what I call everywhere
this life hasn't been my cup of tea, neither has it been my food
so tomorrow I say goodbye to calculus, albeit probably not for good
I've learnt not to think that the last page means the story is over
No! Happily ever after doesn't mean no more rolling in the clover
tomorrow for once in my life I shed a tear of relief
it wasn't a record breaking hike but I've overcome the cliff
tomorrow I credit tension and debit nonchalance
I've lost a drink today but I'll make up tomorrow
****** drained and deadbeat till the bone marrow
forget the agony of the fateful arrow of sorrow
tomorrow I'm the man with the whip, the legend of Zorro
A butterfly ready to fly straight out of the cocoon
the air caught within an overinflated balloon
tomorrow I start sailing the high seas once again
in the rocket ship of ambition, space bound shine or rain
for this isn't one of those stories of escapes so narrow
but one of years in a fortress from whence I get acquitted tomorrow*
May 27, 2016
May 27, 2016 at 5:31 PM UTC
I was born January 30th, which might explain my stares that are as cold as a winter night. People assume that since I am five foot eight, I should be intimidating although I'm the furthest from it.
You see, I have this vice where I chew off my fingernails when I get nervous. I suppose it's because I've somehow convinced myself that if my fingernails become minimized, my anxiety would too.
I know it sounds absurd but I enjoy laughing really hard at poorly composed jokes for absolutely no good reason. And, although I don't allow myself to cry as often as I should, it reminds me that I've still got fixing to do.
My mind works like a treadmill. Things are always coming back to bite me no matter how far I run.
I'm still running.
I'm still learning how to whisper.
You see, when it comes to talking about myself, I shout! I'll talk to anyone who will listen. However, even though I seem to open up easily, I have a fear of people getting close enough to hear my heartbeat.
I have this odd fascination with nature. I assume it's because no matter how persistent I am, the trees never argue back. I don't like being alone but when it's just me around the flowers blooming, the wind blowing, and the bees buzzing, I can feel my heart growing fonder.
I've never liked the idea of the military but I have this purple heart. I got it from beating myself up over things I have no control over.
Hi, my name is Emily and I'm still trying to figure myself out.
My hobbies include over-thinking until I give myself a migraine, blurting out my life story, and trying to convince my mind that my heart is worth listening to.
May 16, 2015
May 16, 2015 at 5:20 PM UTC
Being sums baffling
And nothing to do
It seems only that
The bird willing to fly without wing!
Later some time one thing is cent
Try, try and try again only do
Nothing better offing , pages are closing
And for all sadness and yawning is prevalent!!
If anyone of them is audacious
Leaving the condition as it is
He does somethinthing which gives pleasure
Not to be killer of time he thinks time is precious!!!
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 8:31 AM UTC
I work myself up,
Then I'm in to deep.
I set myself up,
Then I fall so hard.
Oh God I'm so.....
..clumsy..
May 26, 2014
May 26, 2014 at 3:17 AM UTC
A necessary evil for our segregation,
It's the deadly examination monster.
It's rough-tough so it never spares us,
Alongside the weaknesses it bares us.
Prepare for them if you want it easy,
Your scores often determine the life.
Never you give-up all fearing failure,
For you can write your future bright.
Holding shining silver string of love,
You 'come more courageous in life...
Mar 24, 2014
Mar 24, 2014 at 2:21 PM UTC