#exactly
different
never
belong
feels
need
warmth
cold
right
others
myself
silence
life
everything
build
once
strong
cant
changed
even
fit
louder
stopped
because
yourself
maybe
trying
until
finally
within
loading
screen
mind
world
around
fear
trapped
change
yet
somehow
normal
want
dont
break
heart
scars
only
still
gone
whispers
gather
pieces
soul
why
hole
stop
flame
weak
told
nothing
same
cage
toxicity
wonder
standards
enough
someone
spoke
laughed
saw
places
truly
wanted
became
quieter
anything
butreal
lost
adjusting
match
everyone
expectations
truest
automatically
problem
everywhere
learned
website
password
shaking
hand
hovering
above
quote
before
loads
begins
countdown
heartbeat
races
ahead
result
itself
timer
slowly
reducing
unlike
anxiousness
keeps
increasing
brooding
kind
stress
suddenly
single
moment
dreams
pressure
behind
circle
marks
appear
magically
priorities
talk
judge
fills
stories
moments
lived
used
carry
threw
travel
lighter
opinions
stay
focus
stays
every
noise
deserves
answer
care
knows
caring
going
give
goals
reach
peace
May 20
May 20, 2026 at 3:24 PM UTC
My heart burns without presence
Your mouth says my name and voice still sounds the same
The inner damsel in me fights way through my flesh
Leading her by glow of all the potential I set on fire
My hot skin itches for touch while yours is soothed by a thick coat of reassurance
Is medicated by unwavering dose of devotion
My wound so raw and pain so sharp knives flee in fear of injury
My blood screaming for recognition
Like how many drops must be spilled for you to acknowledge I'm dying?
How many cuts appear before you notice I'm not well?
Hell
At this point begging for my tissue to be pulled in two directions and a massive amount of sodium chloride poured in
Would relish the agonizing
Unpredicted sting
Because at least that means I can tell you know I'm not alright
You seem to understand exactly where to rub the salt in
Not where to bandage
Oct 31, 2024
Oct 31, 2024 at 9:38 PM UTC
Maybe I am where I need to be
The reason presently I can't see
Leaves with flourish spring from tree branches
Try to stay above these mental avalanches
Inside I am frozen
Hopeless
Blue
Outside I pretend it isn't true
Mar 17, 2024
Mar 17, 2024 at 10:46 PM UTC
exactly how white do I want to be?
came to terms with my whiteness some(many)times ago,
yet, the dentist mixes in, an offer to refresh my yellowed
pearlys who’ve served admirably long, so sure footed,
long in the tooth…so to speak
surprisingly, this puts me off guard, uncharacteristically
unprepared,
exactly how white do I want them to be?
mmm…
the scale is as follows (intermediary levels are complicated)
1. Taylor Swift Bright
10. Cowardly Lion Old Yeller
and shades in between, I’ve grown accustomed to to my smile, which is closest to the Lion’s accreted usage and
wear and tear, and decide to stay as is, to keep my body
in a state of synchronicity
Doctor puzzled, “why do I smile?”
Why Doktor!
you’ve commissioned a poem,
and now know why your License Plate
declare you as Dentist so boldly,
You have the power to end racial strife,
uniform the populace with bright headlights,
and clearly should be allowed to proceed
posthaste to any and all life threatening
emergencies
but my preference is to display many decades
of failure, irregular brushes, periodic flosses,
my natural color, my god-given grace, and who
am I
OR ANYONE ELSE
be empowered
to disturb the natural order of human
perfectionism schematics, for
to every season, every human being,
is a color unique!
Feb 7, 2024
Feb 7, 2024 at 10:35 AM UTC
{revised version}
So,
You're back to question me
About this litny of negativity
To discover who or what misled me
But I know exactly who done it
Let me clear up the conspiracy theory
Place me in font of a mirror and look closely
Who do you see?
Me?
That's correct, very good, but the rest of the frame isn't empty
Take notice of the oblivious guilty party directly behind me
Particularly the one with the nerve to be judging me
Here,
Let me get out of the picture so the visual can be absorbed entirely
©2024
Jan 30, 2024
Jan 30, 2024 at 4:56 AM UTC
^words of Wislawa Szymborska
(a phrase from her poem “Some Like Poetry”
———————————
gorge on poetry,
thereby!
imbibe your raison d’etre,
if well examined,
one will be exclaiming:
Exactly!
we on trial from birth,
for having been born sin~innocent,
yet guilty for having allowed
in nighttime light pollution,
one searches for places in
life’s momentary memorabilia,
band~aids, orange lifesavers,
a phrase, photograph, pale bulb light…
these “things,” are our
hitching posts, lean~to,
grasped hungrily for
support whence
negotiating the
steep Spanish Steps
of the staircases of
monumental outrageous misfortune
this poetry,
this poem,
this railing,
sustaining from Day One to
Day T+1 and beyond,
a protuberance of strength
to grab onto before the
shaming of old fails falling,
a head banging despair of barely
hanging on,
unbeknownst to you passerby,
we, who live a life of bare bones,
only mimicking existence, while
questioning Death’s delayed arrival,
and only by,
this poetry,
this poem,
this railing,
sustaining our edge two forward, one back,
cognizant of our awesome missteps,
begging permission, to-liv-liven, a moment more,
offering upon-this altar, a sacrificial lamb,
this poetry,
this poem,
this railing,
sustained in the writing thereof,
expelling the fumes of the
nearly, the never, the hapless hoping
Thu Oct 26 2023
8:15am
Jan 5, 2024
Jan 5, 2024 at 11:21 AM UTC
I'm not sure exactly where I stand
When people ask me if I'm a boy or a man.
But does it really matter?
You're going to see what you want to see.
You're going to say what you want to say.
So while you decide, I'll be standing on the side
Just being me.
May 1, 2021
May 1, 2021 at 6:29 PM UTC
don't let yourself be swept away
By the promise of another day.
And if you have something to say,
say it.
Because no one knows
Exactly how long we get to stay
May 31, 2020
May 31, 2020 at 7:36 PM UTC
My
heart
strays
and
falls
faster
than
gravity
can
pull;
I
plummet
I
sink.
Aug 10, 2019
Aug 10, 2019 at 1:50 AM UTC
Rubayiat Al Thurab (Verses of the Dust) – 46
BismillahIr RahmanIr Raheem
The divine creator already designed my determined destiny.
I am exactly living in His created world duly.
As He willingly directs me to plough,
The precious seeds of Sincere Love.
As an ultimate result it can naturally turn into Holt.
The possible source of dear life, No harsh feelings,
I am sincerely, Ummah Thurab – Badshah Khan;
I solely live, As He uniquely designed.
Allah Khair….. Khairul Rabul Alameen Yah Arrahmanur Yah Raheem
Ummah Thurab – Badshah Khan.
©UT-BK 2019
Feb 11, 2019
Feb 11, 2019 at 5:11 AM UTC
To be worthy of him,
All I had to do
Was nothing,
Because I am everything
The way I am.
Apr 18, 2018
Apr 18, 2018 at 11:58 PM UTC
you see us running
back up
our
beeper
is broken
?
...
..
.
Feb 27, 2018
Feb 27, 2018 at 8:50 PM UTC
just past my window
her hair makes
the
breeze
beautiful
?
...
..
.
...
Feb 27, 2018
Feb 27, 2018 at 8:25 PM UTC
*The mind seeks to be
To express its worth
In metaphor and homily
And yet no cloudy day remains alive
Within your mind
As memories grey and overcast
Like a visionary dream once passed
You are awake
And yet your eyes
Are only aware of this present take
On life lived alive
No voice is meant to learn such things
Or to recognize these passing clouds
Which have long since passed you by
No cloud is ever exactly as remembered within your mind*
Nov 7, 2017
Nov 7, 2017 at 9:44 AM UTC
I don’t think you know what it is you want with me
exactly
I don’t think you want me
exactly
Do I even want you?
"Yes. Of course you do." comes the answer unbidden and unwelcome
If maybe we don’t want one another, why are we both still hanging onto this
exactly
If maybe we don't want another then why isn't it easier to hang onto this
exactly
May 10, 2013
May 10, 2013 at 12:09 AM UTC
All of a sudden, out of nowhere something came across the way.
Exactly what this something is,
it’s quite difficult to say.
As of now the present is on hold because of this something.
Difference of opinion leads to conflict of interest
Escalation in conflict leads to war
Always remember never forget the cause.
Go into details of each and everything,
follow the same.
Over a period of time it will be realized,
time and again cause is the only thing that not only remains the same, but is also important and hence in no way there is an escape.
Never forget that you are facing an odd
Never try to evade the same
Over a period of time it will be realized that odds make a way for many more new things in life that can not only be touched, sensed and felt, but those same things can be a part of life,
making an otherwise routine life very much interesting.
Jan 14, 2017
Jan 14, 2017 at 6:25 AM UTC
in 12 hours exactly
life will take a new turn
i hope it's finally
towards happiness
-- Watercolour
Aug 16, 2016
Aug 16, 2016 at 11:18 PM UTC
Exactly what happened?
Was it stolen?
Was it lost?
Forgotten something
Exactly what happened?
What was thought to be going on in mind at the present moment of time is no longer anywhere in the mind
A moment has been forgotten, if not then probably it has been lost along with the flow of time
Something got definitely skipped out of mind
Exactly what was it?
A precious moment in time
It had got something with regards to the future in the present, but the moment has been lost
It’s the ability to think beyond and think again that leads to waywardness and adds confusion
Nothing else
Nothing more
Seldom it’s the ability to think deeply and in detail that leads to slowdown in thought process
As of now what else can be done?
Squeeze out yourself, take a deep breath, take it easy, relax for a while
Stop pondering over each and everything
Be normal, follow routine
Definitely you will be able to retrieve the moment which was lost
The lost moment will definitely be found
It will take time, but definitely it will be found
Then the time will come to take the next step
Till then live in the present to the best of your abilities
Definitely something which was lost will be found, if not recovered instantaneously prior.
Nov 4, 2015
Nov 4, 2015 at 9:05 AM UTC
-"Listen to my heartbeat, what do you hear?"
-"Nothing?"
-"Exactly."
May 18, 2015
May 18, 2015 at 8:50 AM UTC
I wrote a poem for my biography to a special person about Adam, I thought you would like to read it.
Blue Heart
You were 18, so many years in front of you.
It felt like a dark eternity, you didn’t want to go.
I saw it in your sunken eyes.
The vacant stare and sad dark eyes.
I saw when you were sitting around the table prom night.
So much going around but you were too calm
too collected.
too inside your mind for us.
I knew that blank expression from experience
All too well.
You screamed for help
silent and loud
I reached for your hand
but you
f
e
l
l
You were poised and calm
Broken but full of love.
All I wanted to do was help you.
you were standing still when the world went on
and it did go on, it did, without you.
When you were standing there at the edge
I wondered about you, all in my head.
We were short lived, a friendship that was fast.
You came, changed me, then you left.
it came and went in a flash.
I knew when no one else could guess.
you put it all on me, didn’t you.
but I was not cross with you.
Heartbroken, yes
scared, yes
alone, yes
mad, no
Your color was blue
Blue heart, blue veins
Blue is the color of our planet
from far far away
we wore it proud it was all for you,
a blue solemn silence.
and the world spun fast and
all the people hurried fast, real fast
and no one ever smiled.
You weren’t all there, in that head of yours.
dark and empty
you were sad but you lived like you would die
tomorrow
tomorrow came too soon and it was up to you.
it was always up to you.
Meeting you was bitter
you put me through stress, anxiety and heartache
you put me through shame and shock
All I wanted was you by my side,
and you there was not.
Meeting you was sweet
you gave me smiles and laughs,
good music and thoughts
you gave me a feeling of friendship and care.
All I wanted was you by my side,
but you were not there.
You were poised and calm,
you rubbed off on me.
I was hyped and excited
you called me “ADHD”
You drove an old red beater with water bottles everywhere,
with **** in the glove compartment.
but you didn’t care.
Your drove with sunglasses and the FM radio loud.
You drove in silence, thinking no doubt.
You loved the sun but you would hike for the shade
when we were together you took me away.
I didn’t think, I didn’t have nerves.
We talked about the world
We talked about life
You had a life you thought you didn’t deserve.
Whoever planted that seed
had some **** nerve
you wrote like me but I wrote for myself
you wrote for us when there’d be nothing else.
I knew when no one else could guess.
you put it all on me, didn’t you.
but I was not mad.
Heartbroken, yes
scared, yes
alone, yes
mad, no
When you were gone
I read
and
I read
i wanted to know exactly when
you felt what you felt.
You called me your jav friend
you called me your angel
You are up there watching over me
I yelled and screamed
I couldn’t breathe.
I shut them out,
I cursed at you.
I hated you
I cried for you
I only see you in my head
Dreaming once and a while of your smile,
of your eyes
but they are never dark
they are never sad
they are never empty
The vacant stare is not there.
your hair is a giant mess
and I freeze that moment right there.
You said you were alone
you said it was a secret
you asked me about my darkest
and you told me all your secrets
I have never been in that much peace knowing I kept you there
It felt like moments when it was hours and you were gone too **** soon.
tomorrow came too fast and it was up to you.
it was always up to you.
Now I wear a band on my wrist
and pray for your peace
that is all I have left,
but you mean so much to me.
I hope you are happy,
I hope your journey has ended
and you found what you wanted
My heart was once broken
but soon if all this is true
it will be mended.
May 27, 2014
May 27, 2014 at 1:27 PM UTC