#erratic
i'm sick
broken
drowning
disintegrated
everything's so tight, closed off, heart clenching,
disembodied, bruises, strangled,
detonating, beautiful, strenuous,
driven down, hole, black,
peaceful, floral, dead,
fragmented, eternal, fluid.
and i'm invisible
only seen before the light
material
glowing thought the night
invisible
strangled by the white
invincible
appearing to the slight
Jun 26, 2020
Jun 26, 2020 at 6:36 PM UTC
I think I think too much.
In my head, there are links
Between the things that I think
That shouldn’t quite touch.
I’m drifting through time and space,
Erratically bouncing surface to surface
In search of a purpose for the cacophony inside my head.
I wonder if it needs to make sense
or if I should just
Accept the immense presence of all this nonsense.
Jan 28, 2020
Jan 28, 2020 at 2:31 PM UTC
She took a form,
of whispers in slightly silent sounds.
A sad and helpless woman,
soft spoken, and slightly broken.
Last night I saw her.
My body went numb,
and quickly into the cold.
She held my nose and my mouth closed.
Her wet, long hair brushes against my cheek.
Quickly realizing the wetness is the blood on her own.
Intense bleeding scratches below her eyes,
and her eyes with an iris in disguise.
I hear her again.
The whispers, the loud silence.
Turning more harsh as I began to struggle loose.
The cacophony of noise and air pressure in my ears, her grip imitated a noose.
I can't breathe,
it's starting to hurt.
She won't let go and I can't move.
I claw at the side of my beds, and this she disapproves.
W A K E T H E F U C K U P .
She yells,
and I quickly jolt awake.
Panic mode ensues,
and my mind's bulb has burned my sanity's fuse.
I go erratic,
and I feel like I'm losing my mind.
She took a form,
from my mind's dark thunderstorm.
...
and I don't know how to escape from Her.
Jan 25, 2018
Jan 25, 2018 at 10:56 AM UTC
I'm a dreamer
and a lover
An aspiring achiever
seeking perfection in the imperfect
Anything can be done within the threshold of imagination
Imagination breaks the chains,
Creates and illuminates.
It can be the very thing to break you out of the mundane cycles of life.
What is imagination?
The best explanation
It's a thing,
A force?
Will?
All I can tell you is that it's unique to each of us.
It adds the flare to our character,
Inspires us to do things only we would do.
If you can think it,
You can do it.
So why limit what you can do,
When you can already think it?
You just have to act.
If you don't, you'll continue to suffer.
That thorn in your side,
That guilt in your heart,
That anxiousness on your mind.
You can dream of a world without them.
The thought is only the first step.
You must act to embrace the brighter future.
Dec 19, 2017
Dec 19, 2017 at 2:28 PM UTC
Funny,
Sad,
Ugly,
Dark,
Evil,
Deep,
Wise,
Idle,
Mischievous,
Expressed in ones and oughts,
Identions into my mind and life,
An aviary of my erratic thoughts.
Dec 7, 2017
Dec 7, 2017 at 3:18 AM UTC
In an alternate world,
Everything was fine.
I could love them all,
The attention was mine.
The problem is,
That world doesn't exist.
I live in reality,
Directly in the midst.
My mind is erratic,
I can't take much more.
My heart is numb,
And my conscience sore.
For all these problems,
I am the host.
We've all made mistakes,
But I've made the most.
Oct 24, 2017
Oct 24, 2017 at 8:42 AM UTC
I'm the ***** with the addictive personality
And erratic mentality
Constantly escaping reality
Causing my ****** up morality
I feel like an animal; you've committed **********
Jul 25, 2017
Jul 25, 2017 at 3:35 AM UTC
When I went to the park today
I heard the birds singing
and the water moving-
ever so softly against the wind.
The squirrels,
their erratic tails and fur
bounded across trees and
ate nuts as they stared
at the funny looking squirrels below them.
The ones with the shorts and the shirts on,
and the ones with the long hair colored so strangely.
Those squirrels didn’t quite look like squirrels at all.
They drove strange boats and paddled in the water,
and a couple of those strange squirrels
seemed to have large furry companions
that definitely didn’t look like squirrels.
And yet whenever they come near
they act like they know the squirrels
they take photos and videos
and make memes, funny pictures
and snapchat videos of them.
But they aren’t.
They aren’t squirrels at all.
They’re humans,
yet some think they are squirrels.
Apr 16, 2016
Apr 16, 2016 at 6:44 PM UTC
everything is so quiet
yet I feel
like I'm falling apart
they said I'd hit the ground
so hard I could
barely survive
so falling wasn't enough pain
now hitting ground,
being around while not ok
I feel so lonely
and I'm still trying to
figure out
how and why and
**** **** **** f///
///////////////uck**
I've got no excuses
and I know
cutting my legs hurts
and hitting my face hurts
and holding my breath
until I see darkness hurts
but nothing, nothing
matters at all now
that I just feel so
numb
erratic
empty
Dec 13, 2015
Dec 13, 2015 at 10:28 PM UTC
I looked into my father's eyes
and they were frantic, panic-stricken,
pupils blown and all.
.
I looked down to my father's hands
and they were trembling, unsteady,
they reminded me of home.
.
I focused on my father's breathing
it was erratic, irregular,
it probably reminded him of his life.
.
I remember him wheezing out
"I think I'm dying, this is it."
trembling hands pressed against his chest.
.
And I kneeled down in front of him
my knees steady and unshakable,
and I hoped he was jealous.
.
I remember I looked at him and said
"No, father, this isn't your death
it's simply consciousness"
.
I can still taste the sick satisfaction,
the sly grin as I reckoned,
that those were probably the same for him.
Oct 22, 2015
Oct 22, 2015 at 11:38 AM UTC
I question myself and reality.
Finding the worst possible outcome, then a hundred more.
When I feel safe, but then startled, I panic.
I go through the list, I made, of good things…
But, I can’t make any of the words out.
Nor can I speak, But I CAN scream.
I can kick, punch, and bite!
…Because I feel threatened!?
Oxygen fills my lungs.
Only to come out in Erratic, Choppy, Panting breaths.
I pull on my skin, to make sure it’s still there.
The others only give me a migraine.
And, I’ve only been here maybe… ten minutes.
But it felt like a LIFETIME.
& then I die, only to be born again…
& again.
Oct 9, 2015
Oct 9, 2015 at 11:35 AM UTC
*Deep eyes
Irresistible lips
Erratic breathing
Intertwined bodies
Passion of love.
*
Jun 6, 2015
Jun 6, 2015 at 3:26 PM UTC
I'm not sure I know
If we are truly honest or not
How can this work out?
Jun 21, 2014
Jun 21, 2014 at 3:02 AM UTC
RETURN
1) When this is over, return.
2) From the ashes came life
3) To the ashes went death
4) Is there a higher place?
5) How long till I return?
Jun 19, 2014
Jun 19, 2014 at 1:37 PM UTC
HAVE
1) I have it here.
2) Has it had me?
3) Have. Want. Need. Exert.
4) What do I have?
Jun 19, 2014
Jun 19, 2014 at 1:23 PM UTC
Force down your faint truth
Faint, yet lustrous, heartfelt truth
Is it force or love?
Jun 19, 2014
Jun 19, 2014 at 12:57 PM UTC
I don't like being "happy"
Because happiness is only momentary
It's an erratical state
It can last days or it can last for minutes, either way it always ends too quickly.
And then your kind of thrown into that limbo of sadness and melancholy
There isn't a light at the end of this , because your not in a tunnel
You're just there , you're not even stuck because this isn't a momentary state
We're cutting out the ******** ,lets be honest
Life *****
Situations ****
Family ****
Friends , if you can call them that........ ****
There's no such thing as stability,
there's no haven,
there's no safe word
, there's no pause
There's no stopping it
That's just how it is
Its that eternal numbness that just seeps it's way in
as poisons and suffocates the mind
until everything is just ,
grey
Jun 14, 2014
Jun 14, 2014 at 5:16 AM UTC