I feel unsure...
Unsure about me
Unsure about you
And ultimately, unsure about us
But then again, I'm unsure about being unsure.
It's an uncomfortable feeling,
Plunging me deeper into my ever-expanding mind
An abyss of permanent midnight.
Us being together invites a lot
A lot of ridicule, difficulty, and stress
That should be enough to keep me from you.
But, nevertheless
I continue to stay
Regardless of all the red flags, problems and parents who press.
Because you are someone who cares
And that's the most important thing to me.
You never fail to impress.
Your loyalty reaches my heart,
And I hope we never part,
In the name of love,
And blue skies above.
Jun 16, 2018
Jun 16, 2018 at 8:58 PM UTC
As I write this verse,
Wish we would just converse.
Because for every minute that passes
if feels like a year, just in reverse
When I look into those eyes,
I feel that smile is nothing but a disguise
and in the end, all it does is agonize
not just me but both our lives.
Roses are seen as perfection, yet all I see is you
Even when I close my eyes, I wish it were not an Adieu
It's like my heart itself is planning a coup
When in reality I really can't have you
As a rose, you may wilt
but my love for you will resist
because forever it will exist
until someday I'm dismissed
Jun 16, 2018
Jun 16, 2018 at 8:57 PM UTC
I write.
Not only because you ask me to,
But so I don't lose myself.
So I don't close my eyes.
Monotone colours, blurry sight,
The makings of a clouded mind.
You are the sun I await.
A golden visitor.
But you feel like family,
Regardless of our bond.
You can ring my doorbell anytime,
Knock on my door,
Clap my letterbox,
Knock my knocker.
You can even text me you're outside.
I'll always be waiting, though,
That day may never come.
It's cold outside,
No matter how warm your smile is.
People are attracted to warmth.
You may feel they want you, but alas:
You'll see how swiftly you're out,
The moment your flame flickers.
I'll be your home without four walls,
In a world of ever-changing rules,
With my heart being the open doors,
The colours so grey will return to plain.
Apr 13, 2018
Apr 13, 2018 at 5:37 PM UTC
God. How am I still not okay?
God. It's been so long.
God. I'm so tired of life right now.
God. What happened to me?
I was such a nice kid.
I was calm all the time.
Mature for my age,
Little but so lively.
I was so helpful.
So loyal.
I always supported my trust.
But I never really spoke my mind.
I was shy.
I was small.
I never stood up for my feelings
I never stood up for myself.
And now I'm older.
I realize I don't need support.
I need myself.
I need confidence.
Speaking your mind is not wrong.
Standing up for your feelings isn't rude.
Standing up for yourself isn't mean.
Saying what you feel doesn't make you imperfect.
No one's perfect. Not even them.
The ones you hate for being so amazing.
Maybe she has anxiety.
Maybe his mom is alcoholic.
No one has a perfect life.
There's not one perfect family in the world.
There is not a person in the world who's perfect.
There's not a person who doesn't have one bit of strife.
But just because you aren't perfect.
Doesn't make you less worth it.
You're amazing.
You're still charming, kind, and strong.
You're just more experienced.
You just understand some more things now.
And maybe, just maybe,
You just aren't as shy anymore.
Mar 9, 2018
Mar 9, 2018 at 4:37 AM UTC
Do you ever think about me?
Because I think about you.
If I'm honest,
Too much for my own good.
I miss hating the situation I was in
Because I would just get lost in the good times with you.
Life is harder now and you were my escape.
Now I'm losing my mind, losing my heart. I'm losing love.
It was never the same after you.
Now everything is cold and brisk
You kept me warm.
An inferno of bliss
Mar 1, 2018
Mar 1, 2018 at 9:30 AM UTC
I dream of angels
Blinding brilliance,
A piercing innocence
And wings that leave you in awe.
That's how It always was in my dream.
The heavens would open up with the blare of a million trumpets.
They always did like to make an entrance.
Descending onto this realm like every shooting star you missed as a child.
So many wishes could be made in this moment, but alas.
We are frozen in the sight of perfection.
Ashamed of our own reflection.
I often wonder if it's a sin to want to be one.
We're not perfect. We never can be.
Instead, we house our impurities.
Nurture them, let them thrive.
We're overcome with all things wrong
We can only try to be similar
But who likes similar compared to the real thing?
Feb 27, 2018
Feb 27, 2018 at 7:19 AM UTC
From the moment our eyes met
That fate-filled day.
That one day when everything fell into place.
Perfection.
Not even in the fact that I Iost that day
But the fact that I found myself in you.
It's as if I beat fate itself just to meet you,
Only to be locked on the other side,
Where I can only watch you be happy
Whilst I scrape together what happiness I have left in my life
An atom compared to the sun.
I believe I was dealt a perfect hand,
But I'm unable to play it.
As if I have a huge cake,
But no knife to cut it.
It feels as though I've won the lottery,
But it's locked in a safe
And the only person with the key is unaware of the gold within.
I'll still wait though,
Support you,
Watch you,
Be there for you.
The feeling may be mutual,
But are you willing to take that risk?
Dec 21, 2017
Dec 21, 2017 at 5:48 PM UTC
You ******* me and teach me to walk
Suffocate me, then give me breath
**** me.
Then raise me from the dead.
It sickens me, but then again
Only you keep me alive.
Motivated.
I dream of the day I'm free of you
But yet I still bask in your humor,
Aesthetic, smile
Oh your smile
I want excess of it,
Beyond sating my appetite
That it may sicken and so die,
But here I am,
committing poetic suicide.
Carving my heart out, laying it at your feet.
Yet, I still act surprised when you crush it.
How can you still smile?
When I bleed out before you
I guess I now know what it means
What it means to be nothing...
Dec 20, 2017
Dec 20, 2017 at 10:50 AM UTC
It's bleeding from the inside, out.
The feelings I have for you.
It eats me up inside,
But what else can I do, when I'm helpless to you?
If life were a battlefield, you stand strong above me
My weapon in your hands
As well as my pleas.
My fate, your fate.
Our lives rely on your decision.
I've started to cry knowing that you'll never see or hear of this.
You'll never know about the love I have for you.
It burns strong,
But your furnace is already lit
So I return to the sadness and depression yet again.
This poem was written for you,
Rainbow.
It was supposed to be powerful and deep, just like you liked it,
With a strong descriptive,
just like you wanted it.
But my mind is heavily clouded and my eyes are cracked dry
With nothing but your beauty resting on my mind.
Long, flowing midnight hair, holding onto any light
A Nonchalant expression,
Yet a face of wonder
That lives for the night
A laughable height,
Making you that more cute in protest
Finding excitement and humor in that which is grotesque.
A few of the shining qualities that make you all the more real.
An anchor in a great storm
The stability I desperately needed In such a volatile world.
A rainbow in the rising tide.
You radiate the entire spectrum,
A Dazzling light.
Do you realize how bright you shine?
But, as rare as you are
As there are rainbows in the sky
You've given me happiness
As temporary as it was
Dec 19, 2017
Dec 19, 2017 at 7:28 PM UTC