#elementary
⸎⟆⥉⦕⫯⟴ Ode to the Count De St. Germaine ⸎⟆
Dearest Count,
I know you watch and listen.
It is through you I set sail upon this ship of thoughts
To you, to whom, I christen.
These polysemic effulgence do, alas, waxen, wane,
but seldom in vain.
In antediluvian silence drawn,
manifests in hyperborean dearth
a logos, sir in autochthonous rebirth.
Their, hierophantic murmurs will obfuscate,
the omphalos of matter, still inchoate,
where perichoresis in vertiginous tide
the fractal that doth assuredly bide.
A palimpsest of null embrace
where these false augurs drink from hollowed urns,
and time itself forgets to turn.
Perfidious orisons, whisper-thin,
in circumflected aeons spin,
converging on the cusp of naught,
where paradigms in silence rot.
A chrysalis of paradox,
enshrouds the fey, unbridled clocks,
that chime in fugue, then dissipate
beyond the hinge of latent fate...
The pericombobulatory grand design
deliquesces in auctorial decline!
(Syncretic palingenesis unspools,
within the aether’s epistemic pools,
a syzygetic parallax unweaves
the thaumaturgic spoor that time bereaves.)
For naught but vacuous profundities remain,
a simulacrum of the arcane mundane,
where in sesquipedalian grandeur lies
a syllogism clad in grandiloquent guise.
Ouroboric concatenations of antinomian design,
circumvolute within paracryptic paradigms malign,
as obmutescent theogonic vestiges coalesce
in the eidetic zymurgy of aphasic largesse.
Metagnostic palimpsests, fracto-linear and obtuse,
catachrestically wane in hyperchromatic profuse,
whilst locutions, effulgent yet contrite,
obumbrate the paramorphic tautology of night.
A transcendental abecedarium, paralogical and vast,
consanguineous with the inexorable umbrage
of our shared Jungian past,
germinates within the syntagmatic—
Ever relaxed or ecstatic,
Coalesced to pragmatic,
Lugubriously emphatic.
Within this hypostatized ratiocinative mire,
where sophronistic axiom and non-being conspire,
one finds but an echolalic, chimerical gleam,
an ontosemantic palinode to the dream.
The Archetype realized.
The Alchemist mystically re-materialized.
Count, oh Count.
"Wherefore art thou," indeed,
in this : our time of greatest need.
Feb 24, 2025
Feb 24, 2025 at 4:23 PM UTC
When I met you I thought my life would change
I thought my life would have meaning
I thought I was becoming a man
When I met you
My life changed
Not the way I expected though
I stopped doing drugs and smoking
I found love and loved it
I found friendship and cherished it
Friendship betrayed me soon after
Love sent me on my way
I became a party animal
And drug addict
Highschool
When I met you
I thought my life would have meaning,
But my thoughts were deceiving
I was blind to what I was seeing
And lost myself
Tomorrow I'll send you on your way
And there'll be no way to make me stay
I'll never forget you
I'll never regret you
I'll never miss you
Tomorrow my life will change,
But wasn't that how all this started
Oct 22, 2020
Oct 22, 2020 at 3:51 PM UTC
Time may be elementary
moments lost in motion
Quiet periods provide
a power in between the lines
It's potency lies from within
Some gifts are given but not received
and hard to read for us to
see these silent signs
Jan 19, 2020
Jan 19, 2020 at 1:40 PM UTC
If only things were as easy as 1,2,3
A,B,C
Like elementary
Arithmetic and spelling
Simple science
Gym was always stunning
Recess was revered
The swings were sacred
Writing on the jungle gym
Laughing
Running off with friends to play
Being enchanted by the smell of coffee and trees
Magic every second you breathe
Simply because you were somewhere you weren't supposed to be
Close your eyes
Now what do you see?
Darkness?
Dots of color?
Phantoms of light?
Remember when you saw dragons
Wizards
Whole worlds enchanting
When you walked people said it seemed like you were dancing
Remember when you were happy?
There was no worry about what to do
What are you going to be?
You had your whole life
Figure out what to do
Well what now?
What's your plan?
Too bad
Too late
It's not elementary
None of your dreams can come true
You're completely *******
Oct 2, 2017
Oct 2, 2017 at 12:45 AM UTC
In elementary school
Things were so much simpler
My three titles-
Artist
Reader
Nice
-Basically defined me
In other’s eyes
...
Now,
I am lost
In a sea of people
No clear direction
No clear idea
Of who I am
Where I belong
will I ever?
Sep 18, 2018
Sep 18, 2018 at 11:43 PM UTC
*Oh, Abernathy
How long has it been
Since we left school
And went our separate ways?
Oh, Abernathy
I still think of you
And I wonder how you are
To this day
All the things we used to make
All the rules we tried to break
And they say that kids will still be kids
But, oh, Abernathy
The teachers are doing fine
They were smiling
When I visited them one day
And, oh, Abernathy
I hope you're doing well
Wherever you are
Whatever may come your way
Oh, the memories I hold dear
They have all but disappeared
It's both a blessing and a curse
Oh, Abernathy
My Lawrence, Abernathy
I wonder what you're doing
To this day
There's no need to be upset
Please don't sweat this stuff or fret
I only want to let you know
Abernathy, you're still on my mind
I remember your golden hair and your pearly eyes
Our friendship will never fade away, I swear
Oh, Abernathy
Dear Lawrence, Abernathy
I just pray to God
That you are still okay
Oh, Abernathy
I always think of you
And I wonder how you are
To this day*
Feb 15, 2017
Feb 15, 2017 at 8:42 PM UTC
Marshall is the Only Thing that Mathers: Lessons of Elementary School
When I was in third grade, I found religion.
Well. Kind of.
My older sis brought a CD home one day - "The Eminem Show" - and explained how cool - how popular, rather - it made her. This was news, as the both of us personified the textbook social pariah - we were weird, or something. And kids made sure we knew it.
"Eminem?" I wondered. "Who names themselves after candy?"
Slim Shady did, apparently. Cannibalism, at its prime.
"Duh, stupid idiot! It's spelled differently!" Scoffed my sister. She loved to remind me who was boss; she had a ball making me feel even smaller than she did (I'd assume). A talent amplified by her superior intellect, which isolates her to this day. Back then she could do as she pleased, and I'd readily adapt. She was many thing, but predominantly, she was there. And I adored her for it.
She told me everyone had or knew this music. This Eminem band.
I listened till I could recite every track, verbatim. Captivated instantly.
The very next day, I came to school, ratty and grimy looking as ever (my mother hadn't taught me any different - for, I suppose, she had looked my way but saw only herself. Thus, I frequented the principal's office those days, teacher sent me from class every morning for disrespecting the environment.
Apparently, looking homeless isn't acceptable - even if you're 9.
Anyways. At least I got to miss class.
Nobody would play with me those days. I had just one friend for all those years. They'd kick me and spit on me, lock me out in the snow, call me Spider.
Typical grade school semantics.
However, that CD was a game changer, I anticipated. Things were different. I knew about Eminem, and since my sister's peers were obsessed, mine would soon be, too. Thus, they'd finally play with me, wouldn't they?
Those were my expectations.
But. Conclusions drawn by a 9-year-old aren't exactly conclusive, it turns out. I approached a handful of children during recess. And promptly, terrified them.
Estatic, I exclaimed, "I'm going to hell! Who's coming with me?!"
I was beaming. For a couple seconds. And then Everyone ran, screaming and crying, yelling back at me with the appropriate intonations for a sewer rat.
I didn't understand why. Baffled nobody percieved my announcement as hysterical. And brilliant.
Yet, I got what I wanted, I suppose. Invisibility negated by taboos and vulnerability; I, the Satan freak, finally became interesting. Interesting enough to be picked on, and bullied.
It was an upgrade at the time.
Though, I had yet to understand why it'd occurred; the quote was hilarious to me. God meant nothing to me - "insulting" the lord, what did that even mean?
How would I know?
Alone, again, I snuck behind a tree and wrote all the lyrics I could recall - it was all okay, cause soon, I'd be home.
And home meant Eminem. Someone I could count on to be there. No matter what.
Funny how those same kids arrived at high school, and learned what a real bully can do. Bullies who never messed with me once, and never would. It's unwise to provoke a bee, you see - especially the queen of the hive. ;)
And laugh it up, but Shady is forever my religion.
May 5, 2016
May 5, 2016 at 8:26 AM UTC
in first grade
i had my first crush
on a boy
who told me
that i was annoying
and to leave him alone
in second grade
i pretended to be a witch
and my friends
cast spells
and rode invisible brooms
in third grade
i lost a spelling bee
because i misspelled
the word cotton
in fourth grade
i started my first diet
because my sister
made fun of my baby fat
in fifth grade
i had to get an appendectomy
and when i came back
people remembered me
only because i was gone
in sixth grade
I started skipping lunch
to go to the library
and sit in the bathroom
and cry
until class started
in seventh grade
i pulled apart a shaving razor
and sliced the inside of my wrist
and hid the small line
with a bracelet
made of denim
in eighth grade
i cut all my hair off
with safety scissors
and i learned
that no one will date me
and that my lips will never be kissed
in the ninth grade
i smoked
and wrote
and stopped talking
because no one wanted
to know that i existed
and i don't
think i will make it
to tenth grade
Dec 16, 2015
Dec 16, 2015 at 7:35 PM UTC
Sandwiched in blankets.
Snoozing to the morning news.
Run! Another tardy pass.
Nov 13, 2015
Nov 13, 2015 at 7:14 PM UTC
I never thought I’d find myself running outside on the sidewalk
Bearing to go faster just to be home.
I never felt my heart beat so fast
And tears overpower my beautiful face
As I cried for everything to stop while
Sprinting in school clothes and a backpack.
I never shook so much.
I could not even breathe as I pushed through the isle and jumped off the steps.
I screamed “No!” at the top of my lungs
When all the kids demanded I obey them
Because I was
Different.
I ignored the boy who laughed and asked why I was getting off.
I ran, I panted, and I found my mother in the house
Where I arrived early.
My own stop was two after the one
I ran off the bus.
I told her they wouldn’t let me have the backseat.
They restrained me by holding my arms, pushing my hand off,
And lashing their voices to the point I was shattered.
She reported this to my father.
They said I did the right thing.
Impressed by how I removed but mostly how
I ran.
In my yard I would see birds fly in and out of the trees.
How I wanted to be a Blue Jay and fly to wherever I could go.
I may not be able to fly,
But I could run, and wear the color blue.
I can run away and grow stronger more than any
Micromanaged child who was taught nothing but
Self-absorption.
I could run whenever I was in trouble and
Nobody dared to catch me due to my fiery
Speed.
Today, I write this with an icepack under my left foot.
I’m injured, but will be back to my usual
Routine eventually.
The nasty kids are where it all started.
I told them not to cry to me when they received an
“F” in gym.
If they do, I’ll run away ;).
Nov 11, 2015
Nov 11, 2015 at 11:46 PM UTC
"If I could go back,
and knew what I know,
I'd change a few things,
and shake up the flow.
I might go to class,
be where I should be,
Say and wear what I wish,
And only be me.
Ignore the ignorant,
hold dearest friends close,
Respect authority,
see where it goes.
Have love and compassion,
a watchful mind,
Keep ears wide open,
and always be kind.
Harbour a strong heart,
let others be shared,
Make sure I remind them,
that I always care(d).
So, if I could go back,
and knew what I know,
I might change a few things,
and see where it goes."
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 12:26 PM UTC
I learned my place quickly. See,
among the kids on the playground, I
was never fast. I was a joke among tag-players;
it is no exaggeration that I never tagged anyone.
But tag-you’re-it was the least of my worries.
I learned my place quickly, chased down
daily by a pack of boys from my class. To this day,
I couldn’t tell anyone what started it. I kept to myself:
They were wolves, and I was the rabbit they were hunting.
Run aground, pebbles kicked in my face; it was
just like the bullies in the cartoons—
But when it’s one little girl against six boys, I couldn’t find
the humour in it:
Cartoons like that didn’t make me laugh anymore.
I learned my place quickly. “Boys will be boys,”
Was the response from teachers when I came back inside:
crying, covered in dirt, shaking the pebbles out of my shirt.
“It just means they like you.” Yet I couldn’t grasp how
pushing me to the ground, kicking dirt and rocks into my face
equated to affection. If that was how boys acted then I
would rather die than have a boyfriend.
Their antics were validated on principle that they were boys,
and so their dominance in society was assured from day one.
The rest of us, the prey, had to deal with it; I would be sent to
The principal for this principle because I became desperate
and would hide in the woods just to get away.
I was reprimanded and shamed, while the boys got
a gentle slap on the wrist,
and a reminder:
“Play nice.”
I learned my place quickly.
Feb 4, 2015
Feb 4, 2015 at 8:02 PM UTC
In class the big black and white tick-tock pinched
my mid-morning belly. When everyone else
borrowed numbers, my pencil lead and yellow paint
scratched out hunger. Minutes chugged like school
buses. Even columns of three-numeraled numbers
minused the bottom line, scold of lunch.
A borrowed quarter and dime from the office,
meant a secretary’s red-lipsticked mouth, bent
and accusing. Her coiffed curls shook my dreams.
I would starve before sailing into that office
for my little belly, but forever yearned for the secretary
to pet my hair. Say, “There, there,”like to a character
in a book rosy with girls in gingham dresses.
But, for all those lovely boats of hot lunches: meatloaf
with crusts of catsup like a winter cap, buttered beans,
dinner rolls
and cold-cartoned milk, not watered down--
Missing lunch, I'd hide out in the cold storage
room of sack lunches next to the playground.
While the others ate, I'd escape at the right tick
into the recess of blacktop and tetherball.
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 2:28 PM UTC
I left that Elementary school so relieved
Because killing myself hadn't been successful
And I just wanted to escape
Even after the rope didn't work
I somehow lasted
To the end of the year
I was eleven then.
I hoped the next time I saw you
I would look pretty
I could show you
I am more than just
The ugly girl in the back row
Who doesn't own clothes as nice as yours
Never had a pretty face
Never wore make up
Because she wasn't allowed in the sixth grade
Who wasn't a flawless dancer like you
And was endlessly depressed
Who hated herself more than anyone else
Although there were close seconds
I wanted to be really pretty, and really skinny, with friends
Three things I never had in Elementary
More importantly though,
I wanted to be smiling the next time I saw you
To prove I could be happy
Because I didn't laugh that entire last year
In fact, I smiled only 8 times in total
I hoped to maybe have a boyfriend
Because the boy I liked for 7 years
Liked you
I saw you that very first day
And as usual
You acted like we never knew each other
I looked pretty ******
I felt fat in the shirt I was wearing
And you were dressed so much prettier than me
My friends were elsewhere
So it looked like I was still a loner
I was having a bad make up day
And I was in a bad mood
So I wasnt smiling.
I guess "Goth girl"as you used to call me
If I wore black shoes that day
The suicidal loser that everyone hated
Doesn't look like she's changed much to you, does she.
Dec 12, 2014
Dec 12, 2014 at 5:39 PM UTC
If the power goes out in an elementary school, hell has official frozen over.
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 3:35 PM UTC
When I was young,
they called my Hurricane.
Because even my brother feared my wrath.
Because “so help me god,
if you touch me one more time”
Wasn't a threat he completed.
Because Barbie never seemed like fun,
And GI Joe kicked so much ***
“Hurricane”
Because the boys in elementary school
got punched when they called me names
And the boys in high school
Got slapped or pinched or kicked or flipped
Off for trying to kiss me without permission.
They called me Hurricane
Because if there was chaos,
it was me.
Jul 14, 2014
Jul 14, 2014 at 10:23 AM UTC
The wisdom of the ages
falls deaf on silent ears,
when those of 'better' knowledge
lack in better years.
The words they speak are naught but verse,
a pretty, failing void;
They barter time and trade despair,
and on ignorance are sold.
They traipse about with jaunty stride-
merrily nonchalant-
flinging thoughtless wording
like an idiot savant.
To all those who have viewed them,
they are deemed to be unfit;
For who would suffer morons
when they have but half a wit?
In truth, they are our future,
but 'tis a future that I'd fear;
Too many of this generation
talk and will not hear.
They crave with desperation
a life too dark and harrowed,
for live lived in deprivation
'tis a point of view too narrowed.
They do not seek a power inside,
instead, they seek a chalice;
in which all the world's a stage-
but 'tis a poison breeding malice.
Oh- I weep!
for the years that lie ahead-
my brain rebels in horror,
my heart bleeds, raw and red;
The youth are turning old enough,
the future is uncertain;
and all because the high schools
treat education like a curtain.
"Behind this doors, labeled number one,
we have a distant future,
where minding manners, and respect
will make you kind and nurtured;
where all the pathways open up,
and you've made a great success;
...Or pick door number two,
and make life, now, a mess."
Of course our cock-sure young ones
will pick the latter door-
for partying, and breaking rules,
surely, there couldn't be more?
So to all the world, I say Nay!!
This is not the way for things to transpire!
What happened to change, and progress??
What happened to stoking the fire??
I won't support a mindless flock,
I will not suffer fools;
But most of all, I will not suffer
no education in our schools.
Jun 30, 2014
Jun 30, 2014 at 1:18 AM UTC