#doormat
“don’t make yourself
small for anyone,”
You say to me.
i say nothing but i
think to myself,
“i used to be larger than life,
i used to be big as the house,
the stars,
i used to reach for the sky
but then
You told me to be quiet.”
“don’t let them push you around,”
You say—
but You told me not to fight.
don’t question, don’t argue
don’t cry, til i choke
on the tears that i swallow
down, down, down.
You tell me to be strong
but where do You think
i learned how to make myself weak?
i went and i made myself weak
for You.
is that not how i’m supposed to be?
Sep 11, 2024
Sep 11, 2024 at 12:27 PM UTC
Raised in shadows where affection is a ghost,
Made me seek love in every person, no matter the cost.
He whispers sweetly, "I like you. I want to keep you near.”
I always believe they actually care.
Give everything; let my love overflow.
Refuse to give less; let my devotion show.
Fill up all their void, every empty space.
Desperate for something I could call "my place."
With my lips closed, I'll nod in quiet.
Only open it wide when you want; I’ll be polite.
all alone, I'll wait in your bedroom,
Though tonight I know you won't come home.
They break my heart, a same old play,
And they always leave, like hurting me is okay.
But I crawl back; my knees are bruised and sore.
Repeat the cycle until I’m nothing more.
I've learned to align my fragmented heart,
Master a couple personas to play my part.
I will wear a mask to your pleasure.
Fool myself; I am someone you treasure.
Sep 10, 2024
Sep 10, 2024 at 6:35 PM UTC
You think you're
doing life right?
Bending over
backwards
no fights.
Never saying
what's on your mind.
You always break
You know
they're fake,
all they do is
take take take...
leave you in pieces
feeling too
awake.
But you're here again
In tears again
Does reciprocation
exist?
Or is empathy
a disease?
One that only
brings you
to your knees.
I digress
my mind's a mess
I don't know
how it works
to
put myself first.
Jan 20, 2023
Jan 20, 2023 at 7:19 PM UTC
Time and time again
The ground is frozen
To my bare feet
Frostbite nips at my skin
Leaving purple marks
Where it once was pink
Time and time again
I have wandered
Into vast forests
To find solace in creatures unknown to man
Time and time again
They have supplied me with more support
Me more than anyone else in my life
Time and time again
I am let down
My own foolish childhood hopes
That life will be perfect
I will be loved
And everything will be easy
But I never saw any of these challenges coming
I never saw you step all over me
Time and time again
Apr 18, 2020
Apr 18, 2020 at 1:44 AM UTC
Thought I knew this well.
every step I had to take,
every lie--delivered smiling--I had to sell,
every mindless task, no breaks.
Thought you knew of my own created, designer hell.
watching me falter towards an imaginary goal,
watching my fibs for tells,
watching my to-do list quadruple.
I thought I knew how to quit,
how to snap out of it.
I thought you knew about it,
and how to deal with this ****
Turns out that neither of us knows jack-squat.
And that's alright, I swear I got this, yeah I'm good, I can do it.
I hoped for you to say something, I thought you knew I was talkin' ********
Yet, without a word, you left
me to rot.
Sep 25, 2019
Sep 25, 2019 at 10:01 PM UTC
"Welcome," I say loud enough for the whole world to hear me
"Wipe your feet on me. I don't mind."
Some have even stomped their feet on me
It hurts and it has left many marks
I don't think I want to be a doormat anymore
Feb 20, 2019
Feb 20, 2019 at 8:46 PM UTC
Walk all over me I’m use to the abuse!
Step on me and dust your feet from the nasty concrete I’m use to the abuse... no matter what you say you spit and dump on me everyday. You say you love me in what kind of way I’m use to the abuse and the words you say! I was taking for granted you thought I will always be, one day you came home I wasn’t there for your feet. You was lost without your doormat it was no longer there a house is not a home with just you living here.
Nov 3, 2018
Nov 3, 2018 at 10:28 AM UTC
g l a d l y
Is 'DOORMAT' s
t
r
u
n
g
from a label
at the top of my forehead?
s o r r y
Is my throat a magnet to emotion
machetes?
anxiety isn't my problem
c r u e l t y
is
Aug 12, 2018
Aug 12, 2018 at 7:02 AM UTC
elephants stomping on my head
laugh as they draw blood
fragmented ideals scatter in the wind
as trampled dreams mix with dust
cemented in 'supposed to'
hiding behind other people's 'shoulds'
jackhammer disappointment
crushes bones with broken boundaries
play me a song
to make it look pretty
and I'll pretend to dance
with you in foggy yesterday's
karaoke soundtracks
to a stranger's tears
that leave the heart blind
tripping acid just to see in forgotten colors
breathing bacteria
from the soles of shoes
wiped on my forehead
as they said, 'hello'
a mosaic of skull puzzles
grouted in the remnants of the ****
left behind as everyone
just walks away
shadows smell clean in dark corners
where colors are left to die
in clouds of expectation
leaving truth buried in the ruble
...of who they thought I was
Feb 23, 2018
Feb 23, 2018 at 6:30 PM UTC
We got back together after months of confusion, disillusionment, and manipulation.
We both made the willing choice to try again and give each other all we had.
We decided that we loved one another and wanted to respect one another.
She told me she understood, She promised to work on her flaws, although I never asked her to.
And I believed her when she told me she would never cheat...
Nov 26, 2017
Nov 26, 2017 at 3:42 PM UTC
Love at the doorstep
I am here on your doormat
Just ringing your bell
Jun 13, 2017
Jun 13, 2017 at 3:38 PM UTC
To let people run over me
I have a tendency,
I'm a doormat off sorts
With bristles that are coarse
And the personality to match,
What catch.
Jan 15, 2017
Jan 15, 2017 at 8:21 PM UTC
The house is full of horrors,
This house, it owns no love.
The air is filled with madness,
The floor boards moan in sadness.
The sounds it makes at night,
And the walls, blood red and white,
Represent the turmoil that’s going on inside,
But everything is perfect on the outside.
The grass is trimmed,
The flowers bloomed,
The hedges cut,
The paint renewed,
So people walking by they smile,
And continue on their way.
But the house it cannot move,
For a house wasn’t built with feet to run,
Or a mouth or eyes,
To tell you something’s wrong.
This house it carries on,
It has to stand up strong,
To support the demons ruining
All the paint work.
They will rip it all to shreds,
Tare it up until it’s nearly dead,
Without a detectable scratch upon the surface.
The house it cannot show
The scars it bares inside,
And its figured that’s all it’ll ever deserve.
There’s no way to break the cycle
trust me it’s tried,
And all it’s done is made itself cry,
Which resulted in a leak down from the roof.
The house was beat
And still no outward proof.
There never was,
Nor will there ever be,
Someone there to help it carry on.
Sep 5, 2016
Sep 5, 2016 at 8:37 PM UTC
two heavy feet
standing square
upon my chest
I can't breathe
I can't scream
that's what it's like
to be a doormat
to be a set of stairs
always helping
someone else
get to where they need to be
Never thought about
what was in it for me
Mar 7, 2016
Mar 7, 2016 at 11:32 PM UTC
So, I'm starting over again,
Why is this thought in my brain,
That patterns repeat for everyone,
For me, good men appear to be none,
Control freaks take a sweet witch,
And turn her into a right *****
You can't please bullies, let's say,
I suppose I'll learn that one day,
This pattern long held in my brain,
Being a doormat is a drain!
So, I'm starting over again.
Jan 7, 2016
Jan 7, 2016 at 4:40 AM UTC
I know this sounds like a soliloquy,
But why did bulldust men find me?
God made Ratlotto sardonically,
Life's ***** prizes always find me,
Now 70 years old is the new young,
O God of funster fun,
Is it them or me?
Yes indeed, my soliloquy,
Is it them or doormat me?
Whinging is fun for us,
No one's listening to this fuss,
Dear God of Ratlotto ***** prizes,
Any more masculine surprises?
Nov 14, 2015
Nov 14, 2015 at 2:15 AM UTC
"It takes guts to be kind and gentle."
~Theres a difference between being kind and acting as a doormat.
Being a doormat literally welcomes people to walk over you.~
May 15, 2015
May 15, 2015 at 12:52 AM UTC
Face it,
I'm a follow up.
To use all this time and quickly cast aside?
Honey, I'm not so simple to avoid.
I'll make sure
to close up for you one day.
Jan 15, 2015
Jan 15, 2015 at 12:57 PM UTC
As invisible as air,
I idle near the door,
Hopeful for a brief greeting
From your burdensome feet.
In and out,
Never forgetting
To step on my very core.
I wait and wait
Knowing that someone
Will eventually have to come,
Forgetting that they'll just as soon
Have to leave.
Sep 1, 2014
Sep 1, 2014 at 4:04 AM UTC
You've done it again! Time and again
First hook and then reel
Then hurt and release
Lay the blame squarely on me
You take me for a fool
A gullible idiot!
Who'll swallow your lies
And buy your story each time
I am not part of your life anymore
but I need to get on with mine
So be sure to burn the bridges
Cause I am not turning back anytime.
You will always do what it takes
To hold my heart ransom
Cause that's such a causal approach
It doesn't take much to strategize
I struggled each day and night
To swallow my pain and get on
But depression sunk its deadly hooks
My flesh was skinned and bare
My groaning heard none
Cause outwardly I appeared just fine.
But you conveniently forgot what u had done
And walked back without a care
For a doormat you take me
So can you step on my despair
You think I am waiting around
For you to do the same things again
Forgive you, for your wrongs and
get back from where we left?
Change your thinking!
Cause that's never gonna happen
I have forgiven, but forgotten not
I cannot forget or let go
For your lessons are deeply entrenched
And well learn't
One that has a lasting impression
My mind wont let it go.
Subconsciously I know your capacity
to hurt me time and again
Cause you feed on my feelings
To supplement the ones you lack
Grow up, own up, about time u realized.
You can't play me and think its fine!
Jul 14, 2014
Jul 14, 2014 at 5:02 AM UTC