#dissatisfaction
Suddenly, I’m craving the rumbling
of the thunder. I’m reaching.
Suddenly, I’m hungry. I’m having
some muffins filled with chocolate chips.
They made me full, but it was unsatisfactory.
I sat on the pew, then I got on my knees,
awaiting emancipation until I could finally breathe.
I’ve drawn my kin. They’re sewn from within.
They mix like cream in the dark of the coffee
brewed in the chalice of sin.
I’m improving, but not at the pace
I thought I would. Yet I’m lost in the race.
I proved that I’d rather sleep in the monster’s embrace,
waiting for the longest exhale I could take
when my brain finally stops craving the rumbling
of the thunder, lost in the pain,
awaiting the most beautiful sunny day
after the rain.
So tell me?
Am I insane
Mar 12
Mar 12, 2026 at 1:16 PM UTC
The faucet is open all the way,
water roaring into his bottle.
He twists it again,
harder,
though it can’t give more.
He’s talking, laughing,
but his hand keeps turning,
wanting more flow,
faster filling,
an impossible hurry.
It doesn’t matter how much he gets,
or how quickly.
He’ll always crave
a fuller rush,
a flood that never satisfies.
Oct 9, 2025
Oct 9, 2025 at 6:38 PM UTC
Tick-Tock—Tick-Tock–Tick-T-
halcyonic days: The Vile Days
i Seethed and gnashed my teeth at a willow tree today
i Seethed and gnashed and paced until i was sick
my bile covers the widow seal
The lavender curtains are now stained chartreuse
i hate lavender
Tick-Tock–Tick-Tock-Tick-Tock
Tick-Tock-Tick-Toc-
salubrious days: The Abominable Days
i searched for my nicest boots today
It did not take long - everything has been organized three times over
i smashed four white and purple columbines
They squelched and bled on my boots
i hate columbines
Tick-Tock-Tick-Tock-Tick-Tock
Ti-
i Burnt My House Down Today
It was made of willow tree
i smashed the clock first of course
Then i dipped the defiled curtains in gasoline and set them on fire
i hate lavender
i hate willows
i returned to my -home- today
It - was there waving and mocking me
my Blood was boiling as i stared vehemently
It took notice and mocked me harder fluttering its arms in the wind
i left
i returned with Kerosene
i found a door today under the willow ashes and opened it
Inside was but another door: no a cage
A bird was inside - beautiful with many vibrant colors-
i gently picked up the cage and, with ever-so-soft fingers delicately opened the golden cage door
Viscously i jammed my hand inside
Then i wrung Its’ neck
Oct 26, 2023
Oct 26, 2023 at 11:14 PM UTC
A boss claims to be
caring, but he is a child --
that always wants more.
Apr 22, 2022
Apr 22, 2022 at 3:18 AM UTC
aside from my asides and internal divides
I stand in my prime, converging with the divine
plucking daisies in my backyard
doing backflips in my backyard
tired of trying to find gold in a scrapyard
denied due to pride and internal divides
he stands in his shame, colliding with the divine
doing abstract art and failing to put a finger on
the very thing converging all along
the growth not seen, he daydreams
but can never put it into action
stagnant dissatisfaction
Aug 26, 2021
Aug 26, 2021 at 9:22 AM UTC
Hello again
nagging dissatisfaction
diminish me again
corrupt everything
with your whispers of truth.
Jan 9, 2021
Jan 9, 2021 at 8:47 AM UTC
The deeper the dreamer
The more dramatic
The dream
Go back to sleep
Chaotic scene
Royal gardeners
Fertilizing passions
Snakes of a fruit
Angelic reactions
Intoxicating pleasures
Resolving dissatisfactions
A collective conscience
In poetic fashion
It was good
And dreamt
Into
Dream reality
For us
Slumber on!
Nov 5, 2020
Nov 5, 2020 at 5:55 AM UTC
Loneliness was never an emotion for me. It was more of... a state of being. Family was always a disappointment, friends were none existent, and what’s a stranger gonna do? I never lived in a life where I felt anything besides lonely that is... until I met you. You were a rose that couldn’t see the beauty of it’s petals, I guess we were alike in that since, because in your eyes I was the perfect women, where in my eyes I was a waste of space. We spent days, weeks, even months together. I grew to love you and you? You learned that two people could be lonely together. But as my life shows, everything is temporary. And the words “I love you” where just a distant memory.
Aug 8, 2020
Aug 8, 2020 at 2:02 AM UTC
Where I am
Where I stand
Dissatisfaction,
My daily song.
Dissatisfaction,
My present emotion.
I am no longer burning with passion
I long for more beauty
The vanity I seek,
What a fair one I know.
My latest predicament,
A longing for better times.
I crave for something better
I want a new flame
In this spring of discontent
A float of an invisible,
Yet having springs of a vague tomorrow.
Jun 7, 2020
Jun 7, 2020 at 9:16 AM UTC
Here,
Here I am.
I’ve always wanted to be
Here.
But not for long.
Talent is relative,
And mine is falling.
So I’ll be sent back,
Into confused arms.
They will welcome the love,
Though they will not understand it.
Why am I there?
Why am I not here?
I will try to fit in.
Return to my group of youth,
Look to find it and see it gone,
Remnants scattered everywhere I can see.
I will look for open arms,
That closed for me a long time ago.
And once I am alone again,
Which way will my mind go?
Wandering through mixed messages,
Solace will be found,
Buried,
In greying memories of me there,
Until they become memories of me here.
And then I will repeat my cycle,
My human cycle of dissatisfaction.
For what you miss there,
You will miss here.
Mar 25, 2020
Mar 25, 2020 at 12:25 AM UTC
I often find myself
Stranded in the forgotten past,
searching for another way.
Send my apologies,
to those that wait for me.
Tell them my heart and soul
have separated.
Now I'm trekking on foot
through the burning sand.
I am searching for tomorrow
through the lens of my past,
time has now disappeared
it must be waiting on the other side.
Watching me lose myself
As I drown in my dissatisfaction.
All I know for now is that,
I'll escape my regrets some way
but not this time, not today.
Aug 29, 2019
Aug 29, 2019 at 8:18 PM UTC
It was a beautiful moment
Of dissatisfaction.
One where she realized
Complacency
Does not equate
With serenity.
That stagnancy
Does not yield joy.
So she moved,
Not only her feet.
She moved mountains.
The earth quaked beneath her,
And flowers bloomed
In every crack.
And this,
She thought,
THIS is how it feels
To be alive
Nov 8, 2018
Nov 8, 2018 at 1:24 PM UTC
Life's simple illusion
it's too real
the simple love is just my delusion
but your charisma, it's a steal
I don't expect much from a long overdue love letter
I wanted to be yours
It felt I belonged to you the way I wore your sweater
sacrificed it all and got on all fours
dissatisfaction
you don't need me anymore
but you still have your attraction
I don't understand, what for?
You were the man I wanted to marry
There's my downfall, my simple delusion
due to disorder, you grew wary
So, here's our conclusion
in your arms, safe from the rest of the world
your eyes were the deepest abyss into your soul
so perfect, now it's just apart of my dreamworld
so full of self-control
But it's far too late for a love letter.
Jun 6, 2018
Jun 6, 2018 at 2:29 AM UTC
Check in impatiently
hauling light luggage -
downturned eyes,
bundled fifties,
skull packed with sickly
sugarplum notions
Stiff key-card door and
three hanger closet -
leave your mittens, jacket,
and conscience dangling
Towels
cotton-knit sandpaper
no softer than well-trafficked
threadbare tawny-port carpet and
your hands and feet pretend
not to feel it
nervously,
a bit numbly,
you notice her standing
with glacial stillness
moments away from
the foot of the bed
Two crooked lampshades and
dim headboard lights
close their eyes when
the mattress springs
first compress,
the air tingling
with dustbunny snowflakes
This room is too dark now,
something like snowblind,
but you don't really want to see
do you?
Frostbite when she touches you
and somehow this bed
is more welcoming
than your own
you'll remember her
february fingertips
and hailstone hair,
a sensation of northerly winds
strange how heavy the comforter feels
sprawled across your skin
you envision an ice slab,
see it suffocate
a slow-flowing river,
and your breath quickens
if only because your lungs
have been crushed
then, just before hypothermia,
she leaves,
lights off,
wallet lighter,
you stay whiteknuckled, lightheaded,
half-consumed by a snowdrift,
beneath the duvet -
dazed
your tongue sits confused,
having asked for peppermints
and been given ice cubes instead
and when you finally rise,
and thaw your limbs
and try not the slip
on the black ice
she always leaves
by the door,
Try to forget
you paid
hourly rates
and shed your clothes
that you might find warmpth
in a blizzard
Feb 7, 2018
Feb 7, 2018 at 6:29 PM UTC
Dissatisfaction sits begrudgingly in the pit of my stomach
and continues to remind me of
all the things
all the things I have strive for and missed every ball I dropped
every **** boy I kissed
Dissatisfaction makes a hideaway in my being
burrows in deep and starts to clinging
and I try to cover it up for people
because it's not worth seeing
but you can believe it
I'm a human being in this life
but where is the meaning
I've got all this pinned up strife
& the insides of my mind could use a deep cleaning
The whereabouts of my breakthrough is unknown
if it even exists
maybe if I just speak it enough into existence it'll be fixed
I suppose only God knows
but I'm not so sure if he hears my woes
Dissatisfaction is taking over
it's laying claim to my brain
it's settling into my pores
and I just want to stay sane
Feb 3, 2018
Feb 3, 2018 at 3:03 PM UTC
A mask is something we wear to hide our real selves. Some of us wear our masks all the time while others don’t even realize they have masks at all.
Her mask is the epitomy of wealth and prosperity... so why are you on food stamps?
Her mask drives a bmw.....is that why you can’t make your car payments?
Her mask buys fivoluous **** that she’ll never use...is that why you overdraw your bank accounts?
Her mask is a lie she’s lived her entire life....is that why you wasted all your money?
Her face tells the real story...your irresponsible, self-serving, with an insatiable appetite for anything that you can’t have.
A mask helps you pretend to be someone your not.
But the thing about masks is...
They all have to come off eventually.
Jan 2, 2018
Jan 2, 2018 at 4:21 PM UTC
(i want it so bad, but, baby)
(i need it so badly, too)
Love sweet nothings turn to syrup.
I can't hear the wind through window.
The ants love me, want me for food.
Tell me how: how is that not you?
You're right, it's nice getting something
for nothing.
Let me tell you right now:
In my age
I've learned to love
a better way.
No free sample
Lifetime return
Free exchange
That's the way,
the buy sell trade.
Oct 24, 2017
Oct 24, 2017 at 3:15 PM UTC
The greatest thing in life I've ever heard
Is when you said to me it doesn't hurt
to take the chances life throws your way
Now however, I have found my self
surrounded by stones in the city
Life refused to give me the chances I want to keep
so I keep running away to hide from everything
I don't like where I am right here right now
I took the wrong turn on my way up
Please stop telling me this is for me
I didn't even know who I would be
One minute I was there
The next minute I'm here
between here and there
I think I've lost everything.
Correct me if I'm wrong but was this a dream?
I saw a shadow pass up the stream
Her torch was burning bright like the Eternal flame
She said "come this way a better life awaits"
But like all the shadows her words were weightless
And the flames became stone-like and lightless.
Jun 1, 2017
Jun 1, 2017 at 12:30 PM UTC
How is it possible to love that which I hate so much.
What sort of mind-warp enables me
To seethe one moment and smile the next.
What eraser clears the blackboard of my anger
So an hour from now it’s empty and
All ready to be scrawled across again.
I don’t understand why I settle for moments
When what I really want is a lifetime.
To be the yang to an extraordinary yin
Instead of mama chicken shepherding her brood of one.
Why am I above the ground when who I am
Was murdered years ago.
Aren’t the dead supposed to be interred?
Am I a zombie of neglect and co-dependence
Hulking, blind of eye and blank of soul,
Across an aching painscape.
ljm
Apr 12, 2017
Apr 12, 2017 at 10:41 AM UTC
Life, as it presents itself, is pretty straightforward.
School-work-family-grandkids-retirement.
It's all laid out for us like clothes on the bed when we are kids:
"This is how your life is going to be."
And we watch Disney and see all these people that have adventures And lives that aren't normal by any stretch of the word
And somehow we're expected to still have normal expectations of how
Our lives are going to play out.
Well, I'm sorry, world, but I have a longing to be better.
It's a cookie dough mix made out of both 1. Longing for recognition,
2. Wanting genuine friends,
And 3. Wanting to be valuable to someone.
Its a want to be wanted,
Like the characters in TV shows that get kidnapped and told
"You have a specific skillset that we need"
By a man in a black suit with a grave expression.
Wouldn't that just feel great? Like FINALLY
Someone thinks that I'm important, necessary, talented, special,
DIFFERENT.
It's my greatest fear, the fear of living
9-to-5
Going to work, day after day,
Sliding the project in the inbox, leaving to grab a drink and watch some Netflix alone before bed, then
Doing it all again.
Even if I wasn't alone, if I had family
Wouldn't that get dreary? Like,
Take the kids to school, go to work, pick them up, go home.
Day after day until they grow up and are gone and I retire and then What?
What was the whole point?
I need something bigger//something transcendent
I need a purpose or a goal or a mission
I need someone to tell me, okay, we need you because _________
And then I need to feel the thrill of the moment, the thrill of doing Something I'm inherently good at.
Is it just me or
Am I the only one dissatisfied with life as it presents itself?
Jun 8, 2016
Jun 8, 2016 at 2:49 PM UTC
What is this?
What arrogance
to be dissatisfied with bliss
What am I?
That I find myself like a Danish price
contemplating molecular physics
If there could be but one thing through which I could reach
from the tips of my toes to the ends of my ariels
let it speak to me now or remain forever ephemeral
Tempt me not with silence nor sentient reflection
let me sit idle
while a host of doubts with carousing inflections
rend peace from the oath used to praise your perfection
the redoubt of certainty a false satisfaction
but I will seek it no less, lest my own moral code
on the floor lie here prone
Be still
Who are you to challenge me?
My own self?
HA! You are nothing
less than a vaporous belch,
repudiation of the shelf
from which this retched book of life was wrenched
No the end for you can come not too soon
unless it be for that which you are
A cankerous man ***** feeding on the life that was not given
but taken from others AND from yourself
I know not you
Unless I do
Unless I do
For all that was, is and was, was mirage
Smoke to the mirrors, dust in the sunshine
caught by the exhaled breath of nothingness
Cancer in the heart or lung make no difference to the boatman
BEGONE
Waste not my time with salutations
nor grave maunderings on that which could have been
nor with pleasantries and optimism
I have no use for these baubles of ego
BEGONE I SAID
What would you be without meat to shrine that temple of mind?
A magician?
A sorcerer?
Some glorified seamstress of witty offal
set to ram fill mouths of the bantering rabble
NO! I shall not cowtow to the nicetities of your excess, nor of mine
Our colours are grey NOT black and white
we shall drown beneath stone until resurrection day
and even then we shall rot in our graves for there IS NO GOAD
not to man, beast or rock NO GOAD that science shall not uncover, no lack
that in wondrous doubt we shall **** to deny the self-evident fact
that we are nothing and everything combined in one shell
decomposing rapidly, a death knell for the self
is the salutary cry for the immobile stone laid on my brow
for the rustling tree
for the wild fox and the mutated accessories to our loneliness
they shall be freed and they shall feast upon our corpses
and not a day too soon
and not a day too soon
so sayeth the bard from his everlasting gloom.
Dec 30, 2015
Dec 30, 2015 at 3:16 AM UTC