#disappoint
Some days it feels like
no matter what I choose,
it’s the wrong answer
circled in permanent ink.
I try to be better,
quieter,
nicer,
more focused,
more enough—
and still something slips,
something breaks,
something disappoints someone.
It’s like I’m walking through a test
no one gave me the notes for,
graded on things
I didn’t know counted.
When I mess up,
it echoes.
When I do okay,
it disappears.
Good never seems loud enough
to stay.
People say, “Just try your best,”
like my best isn’t already tired
of being measured
and coming up short.
I keep showing up,
keep trying,
keep adjusting the way I stand, speak, act—
and wonder if any of it
actually matters
or if I’m just rearranging mistakes
into different shapes.
But I’m still here.
Still breathing.
Still attempting the next right step,
even when the last one
felt wrong.
Maybe that counts for something—
even if today
it doesn’t feel like it does.
Jan 29
Jan 29, 2026 at 2:19 PM UTC
my dad taught me English
just one time
I was at the age of nine
or maybe six
three
or two
I have no clue
it’s his first language
or something close to it
from Cuba, China, Canada,
to college in the Netherlands
and meeting Belgium for the first
not only for thirst
but because it’s a place
called home
for my grandparents
cause at the end
you always come back
to what you’ve had
I guess that doesn't rhyme
but It's fine
when I was twelve
I had to go to language camp
trying to learn
the language that has burned
on the soul of my dad
don't get mad
I came crying home
practice was needed
one week
not enough
so after summer turned
school returned
English I learned
while I sat on that chair
in the seat over there
pen and book
it was terrible too
but after three years
I could finally say
"How are you today?”
not special for sure
just studying this
everyone can do it
but I hope someday
I can make him proud
when he won't shout
when I make…
a misssteaaacke
I'm sorry
Jul 27, 2025
Jul 27, 2025 at 10:00 AM UTC
mother gave her life to me
gave me her hugs,
so i could feel her heartbeat
she held me close,
and whispered my name,
like a promise.
all this went away
with a few words
…
blank, my face.
i never would have thought
i never would have thought.
Feb 3, 2025
Feb 3, 2025 at 7:44 PM UTC
I’ve seen it myself sometimes.
Shooting pool with a Marine I liked, a buddy.
He’s drunk. Always had a ***** problem
and women had disappointed him,
no more than any other man.
Anyway, the only gal in the unit, honest, hard working,
blonde comes into the room. We all
wanted her
I’d shown her my poems, which she’d taken a pass on.
Joe starts teasing her about her tiny ****
touching them with his cue.
She’s scared. So am I.
Joe’s stronger, faster than me, by a lot, and when he’s drunk
he knows no friend.
How long can I stay silent, I calculate.
What does he have to do before I speak. Speech, none.
If I don’t put him down with the first crack of my cue, I’m done.
Lucky for me she gets away
unharmed, goes back to her room.
I think Joe assumed me and the other guys, by our nervous smiles,
would enjoy a **** tonight.
Men are such chickens,
I can’t speak for women.
You basically hold your breath
your whole life.
Live in a zoo
**** and *****
And if it comes to that, you’ll ****
on orders, from who?
Another swinging ****
who fears his death.
You’ve got to make every day a good day to die.
Nov 15, 2022
Nov 15, 2022 at 6:27 AM UTC
I think about calling you
But I know it would only disappoint
“Hey, what’s up—your friends not home?
Why are you calling me on the phone?”
I’d lie and say I just had time to waste
Went from my safest place to saving face
And it’s sad
Sad I no longer know you like that
Aug 2, 2020
Aug 2, 2020 at 10:29 AM UTC
Sitting in my silence of solitude,
I won't spark a conversation.
Won't fight if I'm the exclude,
I'll be fine with this isolation.
I know I won't become that focal point,
For I'm much too afraid I'll disappoint.
May 24, 2020
May 24, 2020 at 2:42 PM UTC
I'm learning a lot
Finding out what it means to be loved
I'm confused because it's not by the person I thought
But I'm trusting that even when I'm surprised, You're not
It was exhausting praying for someone who wasn't there
Made more difficult by the fact that he didn't care
Paid attention just too days too late
After I waited two years for that date
Nothing you do is pointless
But honestly I'm still figuring out what the point was
Pushing me to step out in faith
Not for an outcome or for the hell of the chase
But to realize giving you my heart is never a waste
Because what I actually wanted hadn't yet entered the page
And the man for me to love was really two years away
I'm thankful I didn't give anyone else that part to play
I'm thankful that you helped me to wait
I think you were teaching me to trust my doubt
But to never let it outweigh my faith
You gave me a discerning mind as a tool not a weight
And a hear that can dream and doesn't like to play it safe
So once again, I surrender my heart
Putting it in your hands to love you'll have me love
Because I've learned that though it can me painful at times
You never disappoint
Jan 6, 2020
Jan 6, 2020 at 1:18 AM UTC
If you place me on a pedestal,
I can’t help but disappoint you;
For no one is infallible,
No one survives unbroken,
No one remains unchanged.
When it all turns to custard,
Who do you blame?
Me for letting you down,
Or yourself for doing the same,
By expecting too much of me.
May 4, 2020
May 4, 2020 at 5:07 PM UTC
We deserve better
He doesn't see it now
How he let us down
She will find out
That I was there too
Taking space in his mind
Popping up on his screen
Not trying to be mean
But sis
He was cheating
Dec 17, 2019
Dec 17, 2019 at 1:20 AM UTC
The guilt in my chest.
But I can't go back.
I know.
The future is unhealthy and unstable
But the guilt of disappointing everyone that liked us.
Do I go back?
Fake it all
Act like everything is alright to make everyone happy.
What do I do....
Sep 17, 2019
Sep 17, 2019 at 6:02 PM UTC
"Just let me die. I'm so tired of this. These tears won't stop. Why the pain still lives in my heart? I'm so ******* tired..." I understand...
- Ana
Jul 30, 2019
Jul 30, 2019 at 9:23 AM UTC
Life is tough, that’s what they say
But they don’t know what it’s like everyday
To wake up in the morning and go to school
Just so people can test you and prove you’re a fool
The teacher says you obviously didn’t try
But they don’t know you go to your room and you cry
You did put in the effort, you did your part
They just don’t understand that you’re not that smart
Then comes the pressure from mum and dad
Who are so clearly disappointed that your grades are bad
You are punished and picked on for the rest of the year
Because you finally gave up on your future career
That was once so close, but is now so distant
However, your parents and teachers are still so insistent
It’s hard enough getting up and going to class
Without the pressure and expectation that you have to pass
The worst part, however, is not that you’re a disappointment
It’s the permanent, never ending embarrassment
Of always failing and coming last
Of never being good enough, your confidence is dropping fast
Everyone else seems to be doing just fine
Their parents are all proud, unlike mine
Honestly, I can’t think if a worse place than this
When in reality it’s made out as someplace that we should miss
I won’t miss it, I’ll be glad to leave
Four years wasted because failure is all I ever received
I know it’s my fault and I’m the one to blame
I gave up so early because I was ashamed
To my family, I’m a failure, and I’m a failure to myself
Everyone’s expectations only damaged my mental health
If I ever have kids, I will always try
To make sure the fear of failure of never the reason they cry
People need to realize that school’s no longer fun or good
Because some of us don’t fit in, although we wish we could
Jun 17, 2019
Jun 17, 2019 at 3:13 AM UTC
Look at the stars, they have a soul
being right above each night,
Twinkling; forcing us to be lost into them
they'll never disappoint you
Look at the rain, it has soul too
the drops fall from the heavens
and the earth celebrates its arrival
it'll never let you down
You've been busy with the humans
been busy getting disappointed
My dear, most of them
do not have a soul
Look at the rainbow, the love of a mother,
the morning dew and the light of a candle
they all have a soul
that won't disappoint you
Be surrounded with them
and the beings with soul
will themselves be driven to you.
Mar 31, 2019
Mar 31, 2019 at 7:11 PM UTC
i like
how space doesn't care
about me
at least
it is impossible
to disappoint
the sun
Jan 12, 2019
Jan 12, 2019 at 5:54 AM UTC
How do I control
these thoughts
I just want to end it
I don't dare to tell you
that a long time ago
I gave up
Because you believe in me
and I don't want to disappoint you
Because if you knew
that there was no hope
I would end up all alone
again
Jan 4, 2019
Jan 4, 2019 at 10:54 AM UTC
The leaves will fall
You will gain memories scars and all
The people will be sad
Trying to make up for the friend ship you never had
You will not cry
These people will only try
Disappointment runs through your veins
Your love leaves only stains
Why would you wait for the leaves to fall
Because all you want is to feel loved that’s all
Green to orange like hate to love
They act as if you are a pure white dove
With hate you die
For love you lie
with no one you choose to walk
That’s when you find your heart drawn around in chalk
Dec 23, 2018
Dec 23, 2018 at 9:59 AM UTC
I'm learning as I get older
Everyone will bring you sorrow
Whether it's sixty years down the road
Six months, sixteen days, or tomorrow
Eventually those you care for most
Who claim they feel the same in return
Will hurt you with words, actions, and decisions
It's human nature as I have learned
Our selfishness makes us monsters
We all take a turn before we die
Playing the villain in anothers story
Regardless of the ways we try
It's always the ones that love you the most
That leave the deepest, worst, ugliest scars
Then to pacify the pain we pass it along to the next
We are imperfect; it's just how we are
Yes everyone you know will cause damage
They'll become reasons you put up high walls
And are too afraid to let the outside world in
Why you gradually stop answering calls
We all make mistakes, we all carry secrets
We all find different ways to deal
It is not the wound you inflict that matters
But if you choose to run or stay to help it heal
Dec 20, 2018
Dec 20, 2018 at 12:48 PM UTC
He only goes with "skinny ******* or so his friends say
But it's alright, I don't go with guys who call girls ******* anyway
Oct 15, 2018
Oct 15, 2018 at 1:07 AM UTC
I know you're disappointed
that early fall sunrise
not happening on beach or shore
sadness, no disguise
Just think of me and smile
a touch
mild and brown the eyes
gazing at
and going back
to the very first
surprise
A vacation in the mind
in memory resolved
never tainted
but fresh and whole
the moans the laughs
the sighs
Oct 11, 2018
Oct 11, 2018 at 9:52 AM UTC
A young girl plants a garden,
Teaching herself through books.
She’s pulling out **** by ****
Passing by the games and brooks.
She yawns as she rises each morn
To tend her plants so dear.
Pansies, daisies, daffodils,
Her love for them is clear.
She picks a bunch this morning,
A sweet-smelling bouquet,
And enters naught but joy into
The Fair’s gardening display.
The girl is young and inexperienced,
She knows this but she smiles.
For even if she doesn’t win,
Her flowers are seen for miles.
The day does end, as all days must,
The girl waits with giddy thoughts.
Surprisingly she’s awarded
A ribbon of forget-me-nots.
In a completely awed excitement,
The girl rushes down the way.
In fact she’s so exuberant
She near forgets her own bouquet!
She runs down her street into her home,
Pride gleaming in her eyes.
“Ma, Pa, I’ve worked so hard,
Guess what! I’ve earned first prize!
“All those early mornings and work
Helped me win my ribbon of blue.
I came home as quick as I could,
I just had to tell you!”
Her mother puts down her magazine,
Her father looks up from the news.
They stand up, looking at the flowers,
And, with a few words, extinguish her fuse.
“You silly girl, you should know better.”
“Oh honey, what did you do?”
“We raised you smarter than this, my dear,
You can’t put flowers in stew.”
Jul 19, 2018
Jul 19, 2018 at 2:23 AM UTC
I am always going to disappoint someone
But from now on it won’t be me
Jun 7, 2018
Jun 7, 2018 at 3:02 AM UTC
When she spoke
I watched her eyes
Her lips expounded love
But her eyes revealed disappointment
I resented her more
With every kind remark
Softly spoken
Behind a deceiving smile
Jun 7, 2018
Jun 7, 2018 at 2:07 AM UTC
you smell like clean soap.
cold, soft hands
and skin that is wrinkled with worry.
your eyes shadow your cheeks.
i made you worry,
i'm so sorry
did i disappoint you today?
if you knew
what i know
would you care less?
i don't need a cup of water
no- i don't deserve one.
because my tiredness is made up of lies,
and my productivity is an endless maze of recycled warmth.
i am selfish.
i push myself underwater because i like the feeling of oxygen leaving my lungs.
GO AWAY
and
LEAVE ME ALONE
because
I HATE YOU
hello
your eyes seem to shadow your cheeks.
i made you worry,
but you smell like clean soap.
i'm so sorry.
did i disappoint you today?
Apr 5, 2018
Apr 5, 2018 at 7:58 AM UTC