#despression
“I’m okay,” I say,
but it feels like there’s hot glass in my throat.
Every sorry tastes like copper
and I smile
so they don’t ask again.
Jan 30
Jan 30, 2026 at 7:05 PM UTC
-
I'm grateful for my depression
It taught me compassion
It taught me how to write poetry with a passion
It taught me life is not all sunshine and roses
And in order to heal
You have to let pain run its course
-
I'm grateful for my anxiety
It taught me to overthink things
And that the first decision
Is not always the best decision
It taught me how to draw conclusions
Although to some people it might cause confusion
-
I'm grateful for the voices in my head
Although they keep me awake at night
Whenever I'm down
They motivate me to get back up and fight
-
Accept who you are and be grateful
There's no one else like you so be graceful
Everyday is a gift so be thankful
Better days are coming so be fateful
-
Lowkie®
Nov 20, 2020
Nov 20, 2020 at 11:09 PM UTC
Her glass was half empty
in more ways than one
She lies awake
still haunted by all of the promises broken
all of the to gropes unnoticed
all of the refusals ignored
She wondered if she was asking for it
but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway
She couldn’t stop the sky from falling
They take what they want
while she lives in a storm of melted ice
throwing punches to her own head
trying to beat out the feelings no one will validate
Punishing her body for the sins of her mind
She was hurt by those she trusted
she was burned by the stars she reached for
No one is coming to rescue her from her
So she hides under the bar in the shadows
from evils one couldn’t imagine
With bottles of contempt broken over her head
being burned to a million ashes
sprinkled in the ocean
The flashing lights can’t brighten
the darkness she knows too well
She wondered if she was meant to suffer forever
Trying to punish herself with each sip
Looking for God in the spilled drink on the floor
getting high to be closer to heaven
She would never tell you about the forced submission
the stardust left behind
in place of her innocence
She knows no one would believe her
so she believes in nothing
- Starlet
Oct 5, 2019
Oct 5, 2019 at 12:09 PM UTC
the
bot
tle
can ac
tually dest
roy lives with
its in
sides and it's lov
ely taste of happ
iness wich we w
ill never find ou
tside this bottle
of alcohol and s
ome stupid lies
Feb 17, 2019
Feb 17, 2019 at 4:01 AM UTC
try to be productive, but it's
hard to come up with the energy when
the only gift I may possess, my
words cut like a razor's edge and
leave me bleeding
with every negative thought,
another laceration
worthless,
lazy
(my ears are ringing)
"but wait, there's more!"
now comes the replays,
all the times I wasn't there
when I was really needed
(legs feeling weak)
all the people that have left this world
their faces
( I want to curl up in a little ball)
the last time I saw them, and my
mind struggles with that, incessantly
(I no longer want to exist)
until i'm too shattered, too
weak
to drag my *** out of this
bed
Feb 4, 2019
Feb 4, 2019 at 9:54 PM UTC
i always associated the colour scarlett with a brightness.
the love of valentines day or the blush filling one's cheeks on a chilly saturday.
scarlett meant life to me,
and i never thought it'd represent opposite.
scarlett was love.
scarlett was a heart shaped box of chocolates,
the sparkle of fireworks,
a can of cranberry sauce on thanksgiving day.
scarlett was optimism.
scarlett was a thank you card,
a bright balloon at a birthday celebration,
or the painted lips of a woman on a first date.
scarlett was never meant to be pain.
scarlett wasn't meant to be a sharp bracelet of numbness,
a sleeve of anger that melted into the floor,
or the cold emptiness that accompanied silver.
scarlett wasn never meant to be anger.
scarlett wasn't meant to be the screaming i hear in my head at night,
the holes in the door,
or the deep stain of aggression falling against my knuckles.
the first syllable seems to fit too well nowadays.
Jan 30, 2019
Jan 30, 2019 at 2:18 PM UTC
Waking up next to you, and what do I see?
A smirk and a kiss, coming from someone happy
Your eyes cloudy from all of that dreaming
But clearly there's things between the lines
That I'm not reading
I have been questioned if I knew the person I loved
And I have answered yes, with such confidence
With a smile that could break boundaries, but apparently ignorant
How could I not know the other half of myself? My dearest friend?
But I see your scriptures, your withering sentiment
There are things I do not know yet
I have tried to crack open the skull and see what's inside
I wonder how much truth all find, and see how many lies have been fed to me
I could just live in ignorance, continue to think I know and live so easily
I have given life times of love
But is it enough?
Oh, maybe the lies just please me
But there are things in between the lines of your poetry that I am not reading
The insides of you may only be a stranger, I only know the paths of your skin
And the corners of your smile, and the symphony of laughter
I will continue to be on the outside, circulating my way in, but always meet a guard at the door
Pointing me the other way, from the person I adore
And who is that? I do not know anymore.
It is you, but who are you?
So many demons of yours that I have never been introduced too.
I thought my empathy and my heart had a couple of uses
Maybe I want you hold you, and kiss your bruises
Maybe I want you to take me down the dark hallways, past the guards and the locks
To tell me about your drug uses, and all of your abuses
But you sprinkle me with stardust until I am stunned
Keep me occupied with your words and your tongue
Keep me sleeping, 12 hours around the clock, over time
Keep me from reading in between the god **** lines
Oct 29, 2018
Oct 29, 2018 at 5:06 PM UTC
It's funny how society shows us how to opress
The depressed teens and adults of this generation.
“It’s just a phase”
“I had it worse when i was a child”
“Attention seeking liar”
“Get over it”
But maybe i can’t get over it.
Depression turned my once happy stream of joyful thoughts
Into a rainy, dark pit of sadness.
A pit only to be filled with
Helplessness, insomnia, self-destruction, and a little madness.
This illness has broken me
I feel like I have to carry the burden of darkness on my shoulder
And each time I try to get better, I regress.
The only way to repress my feelings is to let
Niagara Falls drip from wrists, to my stomach, to my hips, & to my thighs
And hide it with a mouthful of lies
My inner demons gained control over my brain,
Bringing me so much pain that it became hard to do anything.
Even eating became a chore
Because it was hard to eat when I can’t even look in the mirror without fear
Of the Image standing in front of me.
Ugly, worthless, stupid
You don’t even have the drive to stay alive,
So why care about yourself or your health?
You’re better off dead.
But of course, it was all in my head, so no one understood.
No one understood that i stayed up til 4 in the morning
Having a mental breakdown, with death on my mind.
I just wish someone could reach behind my mask and find the real me
The sad me
The broken me
The mentally drained me
The me that has been drowning in my own darkness for years now
Apr 14, 2018
Apr 14, 2018 at 5:25 PM UTC
****** thoughts keeping me confined
Enter inside lets see what you can find
Plenty of negativity always haunts my mind
Repressed memories about mistakes
Emotions I can't express because of the stakes
****** thoughts roam amuck with no breaks
Starting to wonder what inside me is broke
Is it I or is it life that's the joke
Ostracized by myself that's irony
Not even wanted by myself I should fire me
Jul 28, 2017
Jul 28, 2017 at 6:26 PM UTC
who am I suppose to be?
what did I do to deserve this?
lost childhood do to your hands.
you came into my bedroom, full intentions
to cause destruction.
why did you choose me?
a seven year old
who dressed in pink and wore flower crowns?
I guess your were a monster who fed
off the pain.
three years.
I suffered for three years.
you don't care, you never did.
I use to call you family.
but now you are just Anthony.
Jul 16, 2017
Jul 16, 2017 at 10:01 PM UTC
I am far more disappointed with my life than you can understand.
My 'friends' are ******
My job is lifeless.
My soul is black.
I used to think deep and dark is beautiful but now it just feels endless.
-t.s.
Jul 8, 2017
Jul 8, 2017 at 1:28 AM UTC
*you tell me that i write the most beautiful words you've ever read but thats where you're wrong. these words are not beautiful, they are not a work of art. these words are full of agony and heartbreak and pure, raw emotion. dont you dare tell me they are beautiful. i coughed them up from the depth of the pit of my despair, swirled them around my curse-filled mouth until they tasted of blood, and then spit them out onto paper, splattered and messy. these words are not beautiful.*
Oct 12, 2016
Oct 12, 2016 at 11:59 PM UTC
It is the vastness of it all,
the grandness of it all,
the feeling of wanting to
know it all.
Our worlds, our links
to lives around us,
to stars above us.
It is the greatness of it all,
the knowing of unknowing
never knowing...
That destroys me
Everyday.
Mar 11, 2016
Mar 11, 2016 at 6:57 AM UTC
I believe there are angels.
They live among us,
hiding behind masks
so effective
they fool even the wearer.
These masks aren't pretty
cause life's not easy,
even for angels.
I know an angel.
The cuts on her legs
make her think she's
a mistake.
Cause if she weren't,
then why would people hurt her?
They toss around insults
like candy.
They speak in angry tones,
hardly ever kind ones.
They brush her off
like sand.
No one pays attention,
no one really knows.
No one knows the pain she's forced to go through.
But I do.
I see the way they treat her.
I know how it makes her feel.
And it kills me.
She's haunted by demons
night and day.
They torment her.
They scare her.
They push her closer to the edge.
And I see it in her eyes...
alive but dying.
I can see through her eyes...
it's how I see past her mask.
Her eyes say the words
her lips will not.
They plead for help,
they yearn to be saved
from the darkness
closing in...
too fast...
But what she doesn't see,
is all the strength she needs
is within her heart already,
hidden behing the mask.
And though she may seem broken,
she's still an angel.
She has a purpose...
something only she can do.
She has her mask to help her,
cause though it seems a burden,
one day it'll lift another's.
I know someday she'll find her wings.
One day she'll understand.
But until then,
I'll be with her,
I'll give her strength,
I'll lift her up.
Cause she's my angel,
and she always will be.
Until the very end
Sep 30, 2015
Sep 30, 2015 at 7:52 AM UTC
Coffins fulled with bodies
Slit wrists
Alone in a room full of people
Tears fill a tub
School is a dreadful place
Death on mind
Black rooms
Pools of blood
No one notices the darkness
No one listens
You say no more
Everyone cares
WHY????
Feb 9, 2015
Feb 9, 2015 at 9:32 AM UTC
Hark the night awakens,
The dawn lost,
Darkness cloaks her heart once more,
A breath leaves her,
Her voice chokes her,
She is too cynical,
She’s begun to lose herself,
In a labyrinth she is tossed into,
She knows no escape,
For now, the night calls
With the promise of
An everlasting darkness.
Nov 6, 2014
Nov 6, 2014 at 8:23 AM UTC
Dolor, o gran dolor
Cuán irresistible te viste
Aquella anochecer
Me atrajiste, me seduciste
A una dulce oscurana
En cuál yo me perdí
Cubriste mis ojos
Callaste mi sentir
Y de pronto, sin aviso
Te tragaste mi vivir
Tan lenta tu muerte
Tan grande tu esplendor
Enamoraste mi alma
Sólo a ti veo en mi alrededor
Mi amante secreto
Mi valiente salvador
Tanta pérdida me causaste
Y aunque se la salida
Me sigo perdiendo en ti
Mi amado dolor.
Apr 11, 2014
Apr 11, 2014 at 10:24 PM UTC