*you tell me that i write the most beautiful words you've ever read but thats where you're wrong. these words are not beautiful, they are not a work of art. these words are full of agony and heartbreak and pure, raw emotion. dont you dare tell me they are beautiful. i coughed them up from the depth of the pit of my despair, swirled them around my curse-filled mouth until they tasted of blood, and then spit them out onto paper, splattered and messy. these words are not beautiful.*
Oct 12, 2016
Oct 12, 2016 at 11:59 PM UTC
*i can't. i can't do this anymore. i deserve so much more than this, more than you. you are selfish, and you are using me and i hate that it took me this long to see it. i am sick of feeling empty when i am with you, and desolate when i am without you. you are not the one who will complete me. my love for you is unreal, i would do anything for you, and i cannot live like that anymore. i am tired of compromising my happiness for you, of changing who i am to fit you. loving you is like being caught in the ocean's undertow, getting pulled farther and farther out. i am lost in you. when you first touched me, i bloomed like a flower in the spring, but now every time you touch me i wilt, a part of me dies. so don't. don't do that. don't tell me that you love me, don't tell me that i am perfect, don't whisper your hurried compliments in my ear. i need you out of my head, out of my dreams, out of my heart. watching you destroy yourself is destroying me too and i can't allow you to drag me down into the pit of your despair. your mistakes are not mine, not anymore. so tell me that you hate me. tell me that you never loved me, that i meant nothing to you. break my heart over and over. set me free.*
May 16, 2016
May 16, 2016 at 11:55 AM UTC
you're only hurting yourself,
putting in all this effort,
for people who don't give a **** about you
you would comb the earth
a thousand times over
searching for a pin
if they asked.
they wouldn't even bend over
to pick up a pencil for you,
let alone risk cutting themselves
trying to mend your shattered glass heart.
May 13, 2016
May 13, 2016 at 10:59 PM UTC
*a tab, a hit, a smoke,
lets roll, lets drink, lets ****
my pupils shrink, and then dilate
another line confirms my fate
such pure, unprecedented ecstasy
takes all my pain away from me
*a tab, a hit, a pill,
a smoke, a dab, a thrill.*
no judgement, fear, regret,
as we make another bet,
i can take another dab
if you can take another tab.
*too much, its done, too late
the addict has found her mate.*
May 12, 2016
May 12, 2016 at 1:40 PM UTC
you appear in my dreams
raw, uncut, emotional
everything as it should be.
but the sun must rise eventually,
bringing with it, the end of fantasy
abrupt, sudden, final.
i know it will come again tonight
another heartbreak in the morning
every night, always,
you
May 12, 2016
May 12, 2016 at 11:07 AM UTC
*i saw you in my sleep
and i kissed you like i couldn't breathe
but you were never mine to keep
our love just wasn't meant to be*
May 10, 2016
May 10, 2016 at 3:34 PM UTC
i showered 4 times on the day you left
scrubbing and scrubbing trying to get you off my skin.
i turned the heat up all the way,
and let the burn take my mind off of you.
i threw out all your t-shirts and hoodies,
and hoped if i erased any trace of you from my sight,
it would erase you from my heart too.
i repeat "you dont love him anymore" in my head
until it becomes monotonous and numbing.
i convinced my heart it was okay to beat without you,
and my lungs that it was okay to expand
into the voids you left in my chest.
i saw you the other day, at some ****** punk concert,
and for a second, i felt a pang of nostalgia.
but like a lightning strike it was gone.
you asked my friends why i don't text you anymore
and they told you the truth:
i don't love you anymore.
May 5, 2016
May 5, 2016 at 1:35 PM UTC
*you are the sun, the moon, every single star.
you are the silent breath that dances with the trees.
you are the snowflakes in the winter,
and the flowers blooming in the summer.
you are both the devil and god
and i could not possibly think
of a more beautiful combination,
because you are catatonic.
you have the potential to explode
and destroy everyone in your path
but instead you internalize your combustion
so the only one who gets hurt is you.
you are the only one i would both live and die for,
but i wish you would learn to live for yourself.*
May 5, 2016
May 5, 2016 at 1:07 PM UTC