#decent
A life with no safety net
Do I make it or will this be yet another instance where I don't hit the ground running, instead I splat flat on the pavement
Place your bet, I'll take that bet
Another tally mark added to my list of regret
I'm my own biggest threat and relentless as it can get
I feel preset to replay every horrible event
A looped cassette
Bad precedent after bad precedent set
Where is this button labeled reset?
When will I find the bottom of this decent?
If you tell me I'll try to keep the secret
I forget now if I've ever even seen it
I know I never see it coming, but there's no question I've felt it
Going dark and cold like a long forgotten briquette
Stagnant and never lit
Like a burning cigarette this hell is a slow burn with evil intent
I'm spent like a tax return, sanity gone before I even got to know it
Out of my mind cause I could no longer afford the rent
My twisted twist on Russian roulette is the full chamber aspect
So you can surely predict past it
My downfalls bound to hit a record high percent
The first click shoulda/woulda/coulda ended it all in an instant
With steel to flesh, I find myself desperate to create an outlet
To finally get the torment to ease up a bit
But it jams every time and I must admit
Dumb luck and the law of odds get the credit
©2024
Jan 10, 2024
Jan 10, 2024 at 2:14 PM UTC
Naysayers are bystanders
meant to only see the clouds thicken as you climb
and to only smell the dust of your triumphs.
Haters are takers
of your brilliant shine
and elysian decent
You are delightfully masterful!
and in some small way... you are Godly!
Oct 23, 2019
Oct 23, 2019 at 3:14 AM UTC
मन गोरा, रंग गोरा चंचलसी अदाए
दिवाने बनगँए हम देखकर उन निगाहँे
य खुबसुरती तुने पाइ कहाँसे ?——२
समलकर चल्ना जालीम हे हर नजर
दवाकर रख्ना अप्नी बढ्ती धढ्कन
बन्द कर्दो होठपे लव्ज अप्नी
कम न पढे खुबसुरती तुम्हारी ——२
राहोमे तुम्हे भट्का सक्ता हे कोही
आवाज देकर बुला सक्ता हे कोही
बन्द कर्दो दिलके सारे दरवाजे
कम न पढे खुबसुरती तुम्हारी ——२
सकल तुम्हारा उस चाँदनीकी तरह
साँस तुम्हारा उस चमेलीकी तरह
दिल तुम्हारा उस मोमकी तरह
य खुबसुरती तुने पाइ कहासे ?——२
उम्मीदे मराहँे जिनेका गम पिकर
दिप लग्ताहे हस्ता हो मेरे उपर
आइनो ने मुझसे बन्द कर्र्र्र्दी बातँे
समलकर चल्ना जालीम हे हर नजर ——२
मीलाव जुत्फे अप्नि मतलव निकाल सक्ता हे कोही
गिरालो अाँचल अप्नि देख् सख्ता हे कोही
बन्द करो होठ अप्नि पुछ सक्ता हे कोही
य खुबसुरती तुने पाई कहाँसे ?——३
Mar 18, 2019
Mar 18, 2019 at 11:00 AM UTC
Yes
I'll write gibberish
and you just can't
throw this poem away
But it doesn't bother you, indeed
you Liked this one.
you liked it because
you don't look for meaning
but GIBBERISH.
Some gibberish to waste your time
Relief and Relax
your time is already gibberished
and what I mean by "gibberished"
is just a simple gibberish.
But who the hell cares.
Feb 16, 2019
Feb 16, 2019 at 1:10 PM UTC
If skeptic
How can one be
So decent
So blissful
Look at her, closer
Her way
Her moves
Answers the all
She is
A work of precious art
Who breathe
Who inspires
You don’t need to be a writer
You don’t need to be a poet
Whoever you are
She has something
Alluring, magical charm
What makes you
Something to say
She is the dream
And the reality
That, She is
Jan 27, 2019
Jan 27, 2019 at 9:24 PM UTC
तिम्रो बिचार पढेको भए
म ज्ञानी हुन्थिए होला
बुझेको भए
झन् ज्ञानी हुन्थिए होला
मेरो चकचक
तिमीले बुझेनौ
तिम्रो ज्ञान मैले बुझिन
धन्यवाद ।
Dec 15, 2018
Dec 15, 2018 at 9:51 AM UTC
Humans don’t inherit
Loyalty
Dogs do
Expect loyalty
From sane Dogs
That clear
Nov 5, 2018
Nov 5, 2018 at 8:12 PM UTC
A spiral
A staircase
A long fall
How ever you decend it's always down,
Never do we see the light before we go,
It's forever darkness,
Never do we know what waits for us,
We think we know,
We hope we know,
Never do we get a chance to change our minds,
It's there it's easy once you've made the distance to get there.
What ever we do we decend,
I won't romanticise it it's not a decision we should make yet we do,
I won't tell you to stop because that will push you even harder than before because hell what do I know.
But I will say is this:
My mind is my prison
My body the vehicle I use
My soul the fuel
The decent my escape
Every morning it is there
Every night it welcomes me like a lover
Every time I close my eyes it becons to me
Every time I get up it threatens to pull me down
Yet I stand strong
Resting on the edge
Like running a knife across my throat hard enough to bite but not bleed
A damgours game to feel alive
To feel at all
A decent into darkness
A game we play alone
Aug 9, 2018
Aug 9, 2018 at 8:26 AM UTC
When I am about to log in
That remind me
Never did,
I write before
About the human gallery
Here I have
A decent group of people
Who stays skeptic
Let their
Charm prevailed
As an unveiled glory
With the virtue of silence
To me,
Everyone here,
A limited edition
Inside the gravity of wonder
Enjoyed your presence
Always you will be, as
An epitome of decency
If it is real.
May 7, 2018
May 7, 2018 at 4:34 AM UTC
Ombre sunrise awoke those precious eyelids,
Learning a decent female in a castle, where she lives.
Catastrophes behold, proceeding every corner, every edge.
An oath above the shore, reforming a line of a pledge.
She would wear sunflower shorts with a casual pair,
Down to the east, she would be curious, what could a human bear?
And to the west, she would dream of red-tulip flowers,
Screaming to the coast, overall, she has the strength to empower.
Where had it been, she still wishes through the fantasy magic wells.
Because then, she would and she could write him letters,
Every now and then,
With a beginning and an end,
Perfect enveloped sheets she had sent.
Sometimes she's quite an assembly of lost letters and stars,
It took her long to realize that the boy she once loved has broken her heart,
Most midnights, she would have nightmares but those are beautiful ones,
What is to care? She's just Esther, a relevant decent woman.
Nov 1, 2017
Nov 1, 2017 at 2:05 AM UTC
I'm lying & I'm thinking
under the sun's omnipresent gleaming
how to be a decent human being
but it's hard to stop from drinking
in the beauty that surrounds and distracts me
I'm only dreaming, only scheming
to think that any sort of feeling
will throw into doubt my belief in
that everything that I'm seeing
seems to be more important than any individual thought
I'm breathing & I'm sinking
more deeply into nature's pleasing
cherry blossom carpet, hearing
nothing but blue free birds singing
as they soar between my version of heaven & I
I am only speaking, only sleeping
on this hill; it seems that I am seeping
into the earth; a new beginning
to my mother's secrets I am listening
It looks like I got to be a decent human being
after all
Sep 28, 2016
Sep 28, 2016 at 6:40 PM UTC
she
Eats mine emotions
And mars my veriest heed
Her arms is a fortress,a congenial devotion
The cannibal of whom I find peace
But certainly,the no creed
I inhere to●
■
Her
Breath speaks severity
But of fortune prudence and quietude
She sinks me the depths of her whims
Yet,ludicrously of null whips
■
Her
Eyes eclipse blunt my sights
And rancour the rhymes of my visions
But then,she is the fair breed of gleams
A pleasant hue of sparkles I beseige
■
Her
Tender tongue carriers coals
Of undying vengeance
Of which every touch trembles
Yet even as so
It feels finer than rosy Arabian night breezes
■
But
Her crest which be the counsel
Of which the wildest devilry passions is seeked
Chides and macerate my mastered pettings
■
Yet
She sets tables in her thighs
And serve the most but motley affections
■
She is despotic but decent
SADIST
©Historian E.Lexano
®Recalcitration With Excellent
Jan 20, 2016
Jan 20, 2016 at 9:35 AM UTC
she
Eats mine emotions
And mars my veriest heed
Her arms is a fortress,a congenial devotion
The cannibal of whom I find peace
But certainly,the no creed
I inhere to●
■
Her
Breath speaks severity
But of fortune prudence and quietude
She sinks me the depths of her whims
Yet,ludicrously of null whips
■
Her
Eyes eclipse blunt my sights
And rancour the rhymes of my visions
But then,she is the fair breed of gleams
A pleasant hue of sparkles I beseige
■
Her
Tender tongue carriers coals
Of undying vengeance
Of which every touch trembles
Yet even as so
It feels finer than rosy Arabian night breezes
■
But
Her crest which be the counsel
Of which the wildest devilry passions is seeked
Chides and macerate my mastered pettings
■
Yet
She sets tables in her thighs
And serve the most but motley affections
■
She is despotic but decent
SADIST
©Historian E.Lexano
®Recalcitration With Excellent
Jan 18, 2016
Jan 18, 2016 at 3:29 AM UTC
He's so perfect! He's a great guy to bring home,
He has a fast, expensive car, he works at a good job,
He's got his own backyard, a house all his own,
He's got a lot of "decent" connections,
He's always around to be a wisest leader,
Loves to take you down if you failed inspections,
He's just so perfect!
And so this is what "real love" is all about. How unrealistic.
Jan 18, 2016
Jan 18, 2016 at 2:06 AM UTC
Muslim women are ejected for standing up to Donald Trump.
This is what America is made of, most support this kind of
"Mature" activity. Many have lost what little wit or decency
We know of, and are hypocrites who actually SPEAK about
What they call patience and Universal LOVE.
Jan 12, 2016
Jan 12, 2016 at 2:47 AM UTC
Now I awake at the eve of my daemonic existence
Which we had to abort
On my crown lies a crown of barbs
Unfortunately no light
Raising my forgiving sight for the last time
The only thing I see is my dark wright
Vomiting misconception at my filthy sins
United by serpentine despair
Unanimously designed by a rogue contempt
And yet instantaneously
For temerarious to bother with such vast wisdom
And yet veracious
**Thus destined a dark decent
A blackened spiral
For a blank memory
I look as the darkness consumes my every breathe
Already swallowed by the hatred smoked by fear
I feel the hell fire
Like tears rolling down my body
I am cut chest to toe
The shadows seep in
Vile filth exalting heavenly pleasures
I can not cleanse myself
For all of the scourges I locked away
My shadow is liberated
As it goes, as it always shall
The quasi heroic act of self mutilation
Reanimates their dark possession
Again morbid licentiousness
They found their host and reached parasitical intent
Blackened by serious lust
Tumultuous in the hearts of all who have fallen
All of their jaws hinging malevolently
For the cursing how to behave
No imminence in my decay
I deserve nothing by curdling laughter
I have no cause, no war
My skin blackened by the fires of doubt
Forget my neurotic existence
And the face of the man you fear
For the last time I scream
All of my attempts hallowed
By the fear of being isolated
Abandoned, my scars still leaking
The blackened blood into the heavens
Each drop a life wasted
During this my light is extinguished
A smile appears on a split face**
One final scream
And everything I know vanishes
Somewhere a heart beats a final time
I despise my world
I wasn't created for it
Alas...
Nov 25, 2015
Nov 25, 2015 at 2:13 AM UTC
I will walk in front of you naked
Where naked means...
N-ot wearing make up
A-ll garments are locked
K-een eyesight may stare
E-very beauty that's not physically revealed
D-ecent woman of your dream
Oct 22, 2015
Oct 22, 2015 at 9:06 AM UTC
Here’s my question:
Don’t daughters lope their mules?
However non-existent
They too surely must bend the rules.
Surely it’s not only guys
Who secretly, daily slap their laps.
If so, would you bluenoses
Quickly and firmly shut your yaps?
There are so many things
Boys are not supposed to ever do
Like farting and belching
And all kinds of gods to apologize to.
We have to fold napkins
And keep our elbows off the table.
The list seems to grow.
I’m not sure I will ever really be able.
Adhering to what it takes
In life to keep myself perfectly decent
Seems to involve rules
Both ancient, ecclesiastical and recent.
I must put the lid down
Because, it seems, women can’t do it.
Hold the door open for them
Because, alone, they can’t go through it.
Give your seat up on a bus
Because even if they are younger than I
Women are the weaker ***
And I must be much stronger, I’m a guy.
And there literally hundreds
Of words I can’t say and shouldn’t think.
Now if only the women of the world
Would outlaw me getting near the kitchen sink.
Sep 25, 2015
Sep 25, 2015 at 2:36 PM UTC
I know I'd give anything to be in her shoes,
I know I'd swallow fifty gallons of gasoline
and set myself on fire
just so you held me in those strong arms of yours
that once pushed me against a wall,
and that now effortlessly carry her heavy body
somewhere empty, somewhere private
somewhere romantic...
I know that deep within my broken heart
there's this empty space that nobody dares
taking up,
I know that sometime within the next two decades
I am going to be making little holes in the pictures
of us together while hating myself so much
for not being her or at least someone as decent.
I know that her laughter is the only song
you never tire of,
I know that when she says she loves you
your heart grows wings and starts to flop,
I know that she makes you happy,
I know that your eyes sparkle
at the thought of her,
I know that she is the one
and so very pretty
whereas I'm not even a memory.
F.Z.N
Jan 6, 2015
Jan 6, 2015 at 7:42 PM UTC
In this place full of preferences
I be the despicable one
To who wants someone like me
I can't find
I don't know many who would date
This kind of black guy
Or so the excuses go on
But I myself shun the gavel
For I repel the attraction of the darker brown
It's frowned upon
But past experiences give me a shivering nostalgia
So be in and out the gruesome
Actually
It's actually nasty
I lost hope in people
When I found out I was ugly
Because I have gap teeth
And god don't like ugly
Words I didn't understand
Sent me in a negative spiral
to place where i hated people's faces
And every other man
In many places
Of many spaces
To the old proverb
Don't judge a book by its cover
But I see so many random faces
To read the proverbial book
What my eyes seek some say
Condescending it may
Be seen right betwixt
A rock and a hard place
Still running in place
To make haste and waste the meaning of what it is to taste
Now I see we live in side the belly of a beast
And the roughest of diamonds deposit gold into the tree where only the tall can reach,but tell the short not to touch
And two birds in the bush is worth viewing than the one you can touch
Through the plot and good intentions scheming
Am I a decent human being
Jan 6, 2015
Jan 6, 2015 at 8:23 AM UTC
I have found my loop
Where days radiate strange
And nights are my greatest fight
And I talk to myself
Solve strife from the safety of mind
Mindless monstrosities make their presence known
What would you find?
If you crack from brow to spine the shield to my mind
Take a look or advert your gaze
What did you see in the primordial rage?
The beginning act of the final stage
Tearing down the internal slaves
Cries from the core reach ears full of scorn
And behind fiery eyes a mind left behind
Empty temples and abandoned tables
A shattered scepter and crown with no home
Eyes reaping what they've sown
Seeing hellfire and brimstone
The tears flow
Rivers grow
Collecting on the landscape
White with marked lines words intertwined
These are my shrine
My abstract lines
They smear the mind and are a sign
Sight to the blind
The mute utter rhymes
while these costly crafts leave me behind.
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 7:27 AM UTC
there is a wishing well
behind your eyes
and i'm throwing all my coins
all my keys
anything that
clinks
at the bottom of your irises
i'm running out of pennies;
wishing is a game of fools
but
let my heart past your eyelashes
fingers crossed for
the telltale clink
and the ripples you hide when
you blink dreams away
is it not heavy enough?
i will weigh it with a little
more rain;
more rusty coins and
maybe then you'll hear
my heartbeat
clinking
against metallic tears
i know your pupils
are not black holes
like the one i have tucked
away from sight behind my ribcage
but still
i fear that all my coins
and all my keys
are not loud enough
to whisper what i cannot
in this vacuum between us
please just let me go
Oct 8, 2014
Oct 8, 2014 at 5:14 AM UTC
I'll tell you what you want to know I'm sycophantic romantic
I keep your number in my phone
But named you "do not answer it"
I'm old enough that I should be someone now
That made a point of making it out this town
And arguably I'm better than previously
But starting to hate people that act like me
I'm holding back the urge to focus
Why I prefer my silhouette?
Cos detail paint a prefect picture
One thousand words all say **** whit
And much like your shoulder we're colder now
Haven't spoke to you in months and it makes me proud
Arguably I'm better than previously
But still a narcissist with out any self esteem
I don't think I
Understand
What makes a
Person Decent
You keep your heart
On your sleeve
Darling you're
Barely twenty
Sep 29, 2014
Sep 29, 2014 at 11:03 AM UTC