A spiral
A staircase
A long fall
How ever you decend it's always down,
Never do we see the light before we go,
It's forever darkness,
Never do we know what waits for us,
We think we know,
We hope we know,
Never do we get a chance to change our minds,
It's there it's easy once you've made the distance to get there.
What ever we do we decend,
I won't romanticise it it's not a decision we should make yet we do,
I won't tell you to stop because that will push you even harder than before because hell what do I know.
But I will say is this:
My mind is my prison
My body the vehicle I use
My soul the fuel
The decent my escape
Every morning it is there
Every night it welcomes me like a lover
Every time I close my eyes it becons to me
Every time I get up it threatens to pull me down
Yet I stand strong
Resting on the edge
Like running a knife across my throat hard enough to bite but not bleed
A damgours game to feel alive
To feel at all
A decent into darkness
A game we play alone
Aug 9, 2018
Aug 9, 2018 at 8:26 AM UTC
Let me show you my pain
Let me show you my longing
Let me show you view
A perfect breakfast
Sunlight shining down warming my skin
A perfect cup of coffee
A ciggerette just lit with the whips of smoke catching the sunlight
A ****** breakfast
A moment caught in between perfect and terrifying
A moment of peace and pain
No distraction from thought or feeling
A bitter sweet morning breakfast
A view of the world from someone else's eyes
Perfect captured beauty an image of someone's mind
The feelings rise with the symmetry of there view but lack the full impact
Why can I understand but not feel
A moment of pleasure and a pain
An irony set out for another day
A look caught across the train
A look caught while walking down the street
The smile and warmth the missed moment
A moment of agony knowing it will never be yours to know there desire
A chased moment as two lips meet
The tearing of clothes in passion
A must so strong no thought can intrude
A perfect moment in time music playing in the back ground
Two hearts beating side by side
It ends as it always does and everybody knows it can never continue
A memory of shared pain and remembrance
A look into my soul and you see the pain not emotion just pain nothing left of emotion
A tear rolling down a cheek weather mine or yours it doesn't matter because it's a shared memory of pain neither same or different an echo of agony neither can understand
See my world and understand the depth
See my point of view and know what there is to know
See the pain and remember your own
Find your way to remind yourself that this world has reasons to live
My point of view is just one and reasons have yet to be found but I'm still looking through tinted eyes to find my reason.
Jun 19, 2018
Jun 19, 2018 at 6:45 PM UTC
No matter where I am
No matter the time of day
No matter who I am with
I am lost
No matter what they say
No matter what they believe
No matter what they know
I am lost
No matter how I try
No matter what I do
No matter who I try to be
I am lost
Lost in a crowd
Lost in a family
Lost in a world of people
Lost in my own mind
I am lost
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018 at 8:13 AM UTC
A dark night
A misty morning
All signs of life hidden
My mind open to the sounds of the world
But closed off from life
A dark night full of terror
A misty morning of regrets
Memories of a life befor
A feeling of longing for a time gone by
A dark night full of nightmares
A misty morning of hope
My feet move to find a new path
My heart searches for a new feeling
A dark night twisting and turning me over
A misty morning pulling me awake
My life beats my mind into submission
My eyes see all but understands nothing
A dark night
A misty morning
And still lost hope that I can't find
And still looking for the past to be the future.
Mar 16, 2018
Mar 16, 2018 at 8:28 AM UTC
This life
This day
This week
This year
It's all new
It's all perfect
It's a life without regrets
It's a life without sorrow
It's a life I thought I'd never have
It's a life I thought I'd lost
It's a life I'd left behind
Dec 3, 2017
Dec 3, 2017 at 5:07 PM UTC
Held by two
Standing on a ledge
Shadows behind edging closer
Sounds whisper past my ears
I close my eyes and feel the rush coming
Held by two
The rush stops
The sounds silence
The shadows step back
Held by two
One a friend
One my life
With out both the ledge looms
The sounds rush and the shadows push
Held by two
Oct 27, 2017
Oct 27, 2017 at 4:48 PM UTC
I don't know
I don't know why
I don't know what I'm doing
I don't know why I'm doing it
I don't know who
I don't know where
I don't know why it matters
I don't know why you care
I don't know why I'm still here
I don't know why I still try
Late nights
Early mornings
No sleep
Sleep all day
I don't know
What this is.
Sep 19, 2017
Sep 19, 2017 at 8:46 PM UTC
To fear is to leave life behind,
To fear is to forget how to live,
To fear is to lose all you hold dear,
To fear is to get lost in your own mind,
Yet I fear for myself my family and my love,
And I have forgotten how to live.
Lost forever.
May 13, 2017
May 13, 2017 at 6:50 PM UTC
I know not what the night brings other than a darkness so foul it has no words.
I know not what the night brings but hot words badly said but heard none the same.
I know not the night brings but a pain so sharpe its likeness to a knife stabbed deep within the heart.
I know not what the night brings.
May 2, 2017
May 2, 2017 at 2:55 PM UTC
Not a day goes by that I don't thank who ever made this world because they made you and I'm making you they have made me a new with love and happiness in my heart.
But not a day goes by that I do not worry, that I am not scared that one day you will no longer be here by my side.
But not a day goes by that I do not worry about you because you are my life my love and my soul.
But not a day goes by where I don't worry because I can not stand to lose you.
But not a day goes by where I do not worry because without you I am an empty shell.
But not a day goes by where I do not worry about you my love. My one and only my world.
I love you infinity and beyond and back again forever and always.
But not a day goes by that I do not worry and that's okay because that's just who I am.
Apr 5, 2017
Apr 5, 2017 at 4:16 AM UTC