#cussing
Can I, even, survive in the “real world”?
I am such a cocoon, right now.
If she believes that she is a butterfly, Is it
Then, she will bloom out of her cocoon?
Does a bean grow when you are in kindergarten?
[Is kindergarten capitalized?]
So, some have known, since birth—
I was “born for a reason”?
Is there a party in your pants?
I must find my niche.
If I am not “good at fake”,
Then, what can I say?
I was doomed
At the first glance,
My mosquitoes
Pointing in awkward directions.
©2026Ellen Finn
Jan 30
Jan 30, 2026 at 9:54 AM UTC
From GTA
To oakwood
To living together
Us three
To gorillas with bananas
To 2019 no more virgins
I am hurting
I am lost
I have lost
So much
How can I go on
From cons
To Brian jokes
To surprise birthday cakes
And surprise birthday trips
Where do I get
My sanity back
My heart to not hurt
Release the memories
Into the ocean
I can't contain them
They are tearing me apart,
Ripping out my heart
Would hurt less
You seem fine
I gave you your new life
Guess I couldn't be in it
I still can't believe it
Best friends forever
Sisters like no others
Stronger then lovers
Gone and alone
Like whatever
I still remember
First meeting you
Playing that game
Thinking you're cool
I still remember
Introducing you
Sharing the memes
Thinking this is everything
I still remember the concerts
I still remember prom
I still remember getting in trouble together
Dying are hair
Without a care
I still remember best friends forever
I guess you forgot
What that meant
Prioritize anyone but us
And just forgot about us
You can move on
But I can't go on
I still remember it all
Hits me like a train
Or wrecking ball
I'm down for the count
I can't be doing this
Let me let go of the sadness
Best friends forever
Means nothing
If you can't remember
To love your friends
And be with us
It's so obvious
You're gone
And I am not too far along
But where I go I do not know
Feels like I'm already in hell
*** I also remember
Ditching me for her
Replacing me with another
Forgetting me for him
Not being there when she died
Always telling me a lie
And I'd forgive you
To not lose you
But it hurt
More and more
It hurts
How id beg
Basically on my knees
How pathetic I became
Yet again
For your attention
I still remember it all
And I'm starting to fall
Completely apart
Pls let the pain stop
Let the memories go
It's hurting me
I don't want to forget the good
But the bad is too much from you
You broke our hearts
And you didn't even fall apart
*****
Jun 2, 2022
Jun 2, 2022 at 4:59 PM UTC
cough, cough
(sonnet #MMMMMMMDCCLXVIII)
Where gloaming's blueish note of darkness thence
Culls oh, electric lights, I close the tale
Of drapes and we hang out in sheer betrayl--
All four of us--whiles I wash dishes, whence
Sweet conversation, or reproof for sense
When I drop lo, a spatula. Detail
Whatever, but twas sweet to thus avail
Ourselves of time together for intents.
Now it's so dark, and I have played with her
Til aught before is lost in how the crew
Of dolls cavorted to her fancies, poor
As aught excuses, I am blank. What, to
Effect, teased for a line hours ere? What'd bestir
While I was working? Nothing's left that'd woo.
13Mar19b
Mar 14, 2019
Mar 14, 2019 at 10:52 PM UTC
Keep your ******* eyes to yourself
You do not get to dictate to whom i give my time
Nor are you allowed to infer who i am involved with
And no i don't ******* care which person you think i should be with
Last time i checked i was standing here in my own shoes and you in your own
So for once ignore that old saying and do not try to walk in my shoes
If the outcome is going to be your ******* research paper on how i feel about other people
Do not confuse my friendship with someone of anything more than purely platonic
No matter how many small hand touches or lingering signs of affection you think mean anything
My love life is not your ******* criminal investigation do not treat it as such
Keep your ******* eyes to yourself
Dec 11, 2018
Dec 11, 2018 at 2:25 PM UTC
#
My mouth
may be as ***** as a sailor's,
but I promise you
my lips
are as sweet as honey.
Mar 5, 2018
Mar 5, 2018 at 3:41 PM UTC
for what it’s worth,
we both didn’t know what we needed
i think
we relied on smoke to make up for the silence
we couldn’t fill
fingertips touching, flickering like the fire from
your lighter
gazes fluid like gasoline, waiting for a light to set it afire
but where the edges aren’t collapsing,
we’re still whole
flowing into each other,
falling back into place
we’re not looking to burn the night away
even in our self-destroying core,
we’re still looking to feel something,
everything
**** falling apart, that’s not,
that’s not us
we’re not breaking, not leaving
just looking for a space to stay
we don’t breathe fuel, and even on the cruelest days
we know how to keep each other warm
so i guess when we extinguished ourselves,
in our own self-doubt,
fell apart,
that’s when we realized that,
for what it’s worth, what we needed
most,
was each other
Nov 1, 2017
Nov 1, 2017 at 2:48 AM UTC
Now I feel like I need to bring something up
and it might be hard to stomach
Just sit back and shut your ******* mouth....
Your kids are slitting up their wrist because they've had enough of this
so how about you get your head out of your ***
Kids are dying in the street getting pumped full of led
Because you asked them to pick up your daily dose of ******
I understand if you want to report this but theirs one thing that I would like to say
From me to you :).....
**** you, **** your life your all ******* *** wholes! I hope you all ******* rot!
~Thanks :)
Sep 19, 2015
Sep 19, 2015 at 8:09 PM UTC
I like cussin’
I even researched the word.
It ain’t cussin’
There’s an R that is not heard.
We’re talking of cursing,
The taking of God’s name in vain,
Back when it was blasphemy.
Those days will never come again.
It ain’t the same way
Like it was back in those times
When spitting on the sidewalk
Was a jailing crime
And black people had to walk
Down in the gutter.
There were words back then that
Decent folks didn’t utter.
Well, I ain’t religious.
I don’t go to any church at all.
It ain’t that I am evil;
I’m not riding for some fall.
But there are times
Like when you hammer your thumb
That saying “Oh fudge!”
Sounds just plain old **** dumb.
I am not sending
Anything or anyone here to hell.
It’s just helps
To say hell or **** or fuckaduck
When you have to yell.
A shuckydern don’t fit the bill like
A shouted ****
When you are ****** off, raving
Ready to spit.
I totally understand
That some words have a place.
Calling people ********
Can be seen as a huge disgrace.
But I still insist
That many times in a conversation
The word *******
Just fits the momentary occasion.
So, scoff if you will.
I’ll try to play by your nicey-nice rules,
But there are people
What are nothing but ******* fools.
I do hope you pardon
My not liking any more pleasant words
When someone says
The dumbest **** I have ever heard
Sep 3, 2015
Sep 3, 2015 at 8:02 AM UTC
I love to ******* cuss
Up and down the street you will hear me *****
In the car I will scream *******
I will abuse the word **** because I want to
I am a ******* in the eyes of the public
I don't give a ******* what they think
I ******* love to cuss
They are just words in the end
A bunch of letters assembled just to be used
Banned from the vocabulary of others
**** it
Cuss
Cuss for me,
Do it , to make yourself feel better,
Do it , when nothing but violence swells inside you
Do it, when you tell a joke
****
Aug 24, 2014
Aug 24, 2014 at 3:08 AM UTC
Clean endings never exist and I can't breathe when you're around.
I get stupid; I get dizzy.
You're like a bad taste in my mouth, I'm doing everything I can to clean you out.
You're every ****** word on the tip of my tongue.
Wounded birds have more fight left in them than I have standing in front of you today. I am a wimp in my own sense and fashion.
I can't think when you're around.
Do you understand the emotional breakdowns that go on inside my mind when you're around?
It feels like a blind person trying to read a book. Like a roller coaster flying off the tracks.
I love you more than I can explain in any sense. So much that I need to you get away from me before I end up insane.
Jun 4, 2014
Jun 4, 2014 at 12:39 AM UTC