when you learned to blow
on hot tea, when you realized
good love wasn't an old wivestale
when your body suddenly became the
least of things to keep a man
and your ego just a badly kept
garden full of weeds and
borers
when you became nothing
dust and bitters, people began to
ask you how you saw yourself
and where humble and quiet
used to stand in you found
an empty ship, wineless drums
everything now seemed alarmingly
true, maybe you weren't more than
the sum--and how long had that been so?
how long had you been tolerable,
how long had beauty been your stand in
for a personality, how long had your hips
spelled your name, gyrating to the
songs you only wished you could sing--
I have only now started to laugh aloud
or walk knowing what's ahead and not
every inch of gravel beneath my feet,
deep breaths are my saving grace
i have traded anxiety for faith
i started dreaming again,
I opened my mouth and
not a single word came out
but i had left port
laden with
more.
Nov 28, 2017
Nov 28, 2017 at 5:51 AM UTC
I don't need any friends
I got them all in my head
I don't need a lover
She's six feet under
Tomorrow night
I'll visit a meteor shower
We have celestial dust
In our bones and flesh
Made from Earth and outer space
I don't need any friends
If the stars
Are willing to listen
Nov 17, 2017
Nov 17, 2017 at 12:35 AM UTC
Insignificant, unimportant, inconsequential
People would look past me
They couldn't see that I had potential
I yearned so badly to be counted in
But instead I was counted out
Which led me to start following trends
But I soon took another route
Distinctive, unique, idiosyncratic
that's what I am
with melanin infused skin
flourishing in black girl magic
I love being unique
I vibrate your soul when I speak
I have an aura so strong
it'll sweep you right off of your feet
I love being different
I'm one of a kind
The entire sun is wrapped around my soul
Through my eyes it shines
Nov 17, 2017
Nov 17, 2017 at 12:35 AM UTC
i want my poems to have teeth.
i want my words to cut,
to maim, to bleed.
with verses, i will raze
empires. with stanzas,
i will turn thrones to dust.
with nothing but a bit
of silver on my tongue,
i will take the life of god.
i’ll ply that same *****
like honey, taste the sweet
nothings dripping
between knocking knees.
quake and quiver for me,
let me slip, furtive
as nightshade
to sate your curiosity.
feel the weight of veracity
in these fingers patiently
transcribing forgotten melodies,
compressing ivory keys
to sing of all that was lost
and what was gained
from the process.
Nov 17, 2017
Nov 17, 2017 at 12:35 AM UTC
now when I think of love I want to puke,
the thought literally makes me sick to my stomach because I know now what it does to a person
how you lose yourself in someone else and then all of sudden you can't breathe anymore without them
I am promising myself to never be that stretched again,
to give myself a try for once, relying only on my intuition and will to power through life and relationships, never getting too blind to see things as they really are
I wanna know what it's like to be so good alone that the earth shatters when I take a step,
electricity radiates from my skin and my soul is so loud it shouts through my eyes
Nov 10, 2017
Nov 10, 2017 at 4:36 AM UTC
.
*Links in the chemist chain
laced in a double helix
defy the laws of the universe,
and the atavistic resurgence
creates isotopes of dream passion.
Elements conspire in panic
with a symmetry of casual chaos
that mimics an atomic bomb,
destroying its own creator
in a cruel parody of birth paradox.
Arresting the Iris of Dissolution
with cuffed anxiety drowning
in a pond of helium ore,
carelessly drifting on acid flesh,
coagulating in a soup of memory.*
And the paradigm shifts again,
reality unfocussed clears, strains,
revealing your shuddering form,
next to me, keeping me warm.
Lids flicker and you open your eyes,
shining, smiling in cute surprise.
Moving my finger up to my lips
whilst I gently untangle our hips.
*Do you remember this night?
Last night, tonight, tomorrow night?
Time begins to slowly rewind,
on the night you blew my mind.*
My essence is filled with your heart,
a love I have yet to discover.
Whilst you wander between the stars,
my universe starts to recover.
So please don't break this silence now.
Please don't shatter this moment long,
I want this post ****** memory to remain
in the morning when you have gone.
© Pagan Paul (04/11/17)
Nov 5, 2017
Nov 5, 2017 at 4:58 PM UTC
I am king
of Wal-mart,
sitting high
in throne of $70 wicker chair.
“ this is
my kingdom. “
the toy aisle
thinks me a tyrant,
the way I bend
and break its barbies.
“ son,
we have to get going, “
dad says,
so I exile him,
plastic sword pointed
to his back.
“ no more
of your shouting! “
I live here now,
ruler of spoiling dairy.
Nov 5, 2017
Nov 5, 2017 at 4:58 PM UTC