#cursing
Things are going good
Almost great even
I am working again
My health improved
I'm writing a book
I have love
I'm engaged
My best friend is by my side
So why
When i sit down at night
Do i feel Empty inside?
Why do I only dream of
Every time you made me cry
Why is my mind circling lost memories
Of abuse and lies
I don't cry anymore
Or speak of what's on the inside
My philosophy of showing it all
Is gone
I'm running a marathon
To escape my inner self
To escape my emotional health
It used to help
Crying
Punching things
Letting it show
Letting it out and letting it go
But truth is
I can't let it go
When i look back
It hurts
Ever so
Who the **** does that to a child
Their own flesh and blood
Who does that to a innocent little smile
And never apologize
Never regret
Who tells them to just forget
Lets them get *****
By friends of the family
Take their side
I'm nothing
You wanted me to be
Who does that to a sister
A friend
Who makes them so damaged
They can't even pretend
Reality is cruel
It's all i do
Sit down and listen
To the screams around
The world burning
It's my favorite sound
I love being torn
To the ground
My bodies been clenched
For 28 years
I came out the womb with every fear
My mission in life
To grind my teeth
Til i die
To bite my inner lip
And drink the blood
To rip my skin
And release the flood
I am hanging on a rope for my life
I've always been
Since i was 4 or maybe 5
Or before I can remember
Sometimes i want to let go
But I could never
What's down below?
Joy?
Laughter?
Love?
Confidence?
Security?
And all the wishes from above?
I can't handle that
I only know blood
You taught me that.
It's all i can love
I don't cry anymore
I can't make it happen
I've closed that door
Locked it tight
Out of sight
If i ever open it
It'll drown us all
It'll never stop flooding
The water will rush
With rage
And crush
Every **** cage
You locked me in
Going further
The rage will continue
In all it's sin
I'll become immortal
Just to let the anger win
Destroying all of humanity
And in between
And even then
I won't win
I'll still be clenched to the rope
Living in fear
Barely hope
I'll still be angry
And want to cry
I'll still be sad
And afraid to die
I don't cry anymore
Because simply
It won't end.
If i start again
It'll go forever
The anger won't stop
How could it ?
Every time I remember
How satan was in my childhood
I get angrier
At all the good
In your lives
How could i forgive
Such sick ******* lies
The abuse when i was only 5
How could anyone live
A normal life
For all you did
You never even thought twice
I was a tool
You were a knife
Cutting deeply
Taking life
Throwing me away
When I couldn't sacrifice
Any more
So now
I'm happy
And i want to dance
Everything is sweet
And tender romance
Embracing my dreams
And my inner truth
Friendship and marriage
And the fountain of youth
But I don't understand joy
It was never in my youth
I only understand pain
And all evil truths
I only think of death
And what it may do
I wish i could just go dancing
And forget my youth
But even the biggest joy
Is a reminder of you
And the rope you've made me cling to
Nov 26, 2025
Nov 26, 2025 at 8:59 PM UTC
Recklessly I cruise a plateaued plane
One I call memory lane
Which in hindsight was kind of insane
I'm not sure what I was looking to gain
There's not much other than pain in the ones I retain
I know this, it's beyond first hand eyewitness obvious,
Even prior to being forced to meticulously explain
Becoming increasingly familiar with that ruthless domain
Thankfully some truly cherished living snapshots remain
However, most have broken free from their neglected, rusty chain
And I'm left cursing the bane of my existence,
While, in plain sight, the flashbacks that cause my eyes to drain
Swerve in and out of my lane
Joy ridin' my misery or being metaphysically driven to the torture of the mind and soul,
Instigated by a fraction of a fractured brain
That to this day isn't clear on what's it's actually sayin'
Can not seem to refrain from immersing myself in self inflicted pain
Forgotten or slain?
What's it matter if the outcome will be the same;
Me, laying motionless in front of a raging train,
Leaving only a crime scene stain
One that'll go as unnoticed as it did when it flowed through a main artery vein
'Till any and all evidence of my unspectacular,
Super localized reign
Washes away in the rain
And I become nothing more than a name
©2024
May 12, 2024
May 12, 2024 at 12:25 PM UTC
a tongue a knife a rhyme
a slitted try of silence mine
i could never keep it fought
rip the gut right from my life
ill scream the name until i rot
shreik a word so loud ill cry
i tried my luck but missed the cut
a trickled spiggot sputters with it
a soft spot for the eyes that fall out of my skull
flaming pupils burn the crop
the students of the fire
they stop drop and roll into the wretched thought
that comes each time they learn what has been wrought to build this pyre
to eviscerate the weakened soul
the empty rooms inside my home
voraciously in rapture
tearing sinews off my mind
splitting ears and feeding from the captured
nothing left behind my skin no map no muscles
missing compass knees buckled
******* leave me or ill pull the trigger
ill **** the lost and eat the hindered
incinerate your wicked splinters
and in this home
snap each of your twelve ******* fingers
its teeth are gentle on me in a way that only devils can
we're peckish for atrocities and it has given me a plan
a broken handed man within the corridor
his one eye wide
the other in the devils side
a matching type to mine if i still had my sight
the door is closed and i am blind but we can smell the horror more
breaking out we tore into that bodys core
but that devil, him, the house, unborn
as i woke up in a corpse
for i am dead upon the floor
Nov 11, 2021
Nov 11, 2021 at 2:34 AM UTC
Personal REPOST - Not a poem.
~~~~~~~~~
My guardian Archangel is Ariel
known as the Goddess of nature
like I am
Ariel Archangel heals
the planet animals responsible for natural elements
Earth, wind, water, and fire.
Ariel's role as an archangel
relates to inspiration.
Aries people treat breaking up like a sport, and they do not want to lose. Aries would rather dump than be dumped, and so if tension has been building, they're likely to be the ones to initiate the split.
Since Arians want to move on faster than their exes, they're often the first to rebound, but they're rarely malicious and will self defend
as last resort!
Aries-born people are favorited
for theirfierce and independent approach to life being attracted
to their uninhibitedness
and a wild personality.
Aries-born people are attracted to the quirkiness and weirdness of
Aquarians and both get along like a house on fire!
Unlike any other zodiac sign,
Aries is more hung up on the memories they created with the ex-partners than their exes themselves
they avoid competition
For Arians, it's not at all about getting back together, but it is all about the nostalgia that ~hits them hard.~
Aries cannot stand people who try to set the tone in their life!
Aries hate ~intrusiveness.~
Do not push Aries or give them ultimatums-they alone will decide when to call and see you!
Aries are quite confident
energetic and a bit of a daredevil
it's no surprise that their biggest fear is the fear of going unnoticed
or being forgotten.
Aries poeople, Arians, want to make a mark on the world, and they like to have many accomplishments
achievements under their belt.
~~~~~
When an Aries is hurt, they will let you know with their blunt and impulsive actions.
Aries' element is fire making them naturally very passionate,
inclined towards exploration,
and a little bit scary
~when set off.~
Don't tell an Aries a greater lover roams your head
spinning your inner thighs
Your Aries will become
a puff of smoke
and be GONE
Aries born women are
fire and ice cold and hot
symultaneously
in your arms
If you are ever kissed
by an Aries
you are truly loved
cherished and adored
but only if,
if, you reciprocate fully
~~~~~~~~~
Defined by: Karijinbba
Jul 4, 2021
Jul 4, 2021 at 8:02 PM UTC
I curse like a drunken sailor with a stubbed toe and an eye full of Tabasco.
Feb 24, 2021
Feb 24, 2021 at 12:18 AM UTC
He can curse up a storm
make a sailor blush
Foul blue language
spewed out in a gush
Could strip paint clean
off a battleship
Exponentially worse if
you give him any lip
Rambling in sincerity's guise
but his worst 4-letter words
are all his LIES
© 2020 by Mark Toney. All rights reserved.
Aug 15, 2020
Aug 15, 2020 at 11:48 PM UTC
Some have bitter look
Some with foolish tear
Some have flattering words
Some with teeth of fire
Some keep only staring
Some keep cursing
Some break the plan
Some do it with steel
Some only hold knives
Some do it with sword
Some wipe out blood
Some do not moan
Some voices come near
Some let them lie in silence
Some walk to Moon.
Jun 26, 2020
Jun 26, 2020 at 11:12 PM UTC
I sat broken atop a mountain
Cursing all of the gods
For having me restrained
Against impossible odds;
For having me seek love,
Never to obtain it;
For giving nothing to write of,
And be viewed as a hypocrite;
For needing rejection,
To function in life
To never have the affection
Of caring, loving wife;
For making me soft in heart,
Afraid of the world before me;
Fearful of being torn apart
By some unholy earthly thing;
For having me always laugh
But never feel joyful and reviled
Being a joke on people's behalf,
Yet always having to smile;
Tis the gods that I curse
For my stubborn will and spirit
So that even when it hurts
I'll still be adherent;
For making me a fool
Before all of the earth
For treating me quite cruel
Making me wish I'd died at birth;
For forcing me into solitude
Making me able to see
That I am not being pursued
By those who could love me;
So I sit cursing the gods
Who sit on their thrones so high;
Hoping they'll strike me down
Leaving me up on the mountain to die.
Feb 11, 2020
Feb 11, 2020 at 5:02 PM UTC
the scorching summer sun
makes the day almost unbearable
even the plants agree
the sun needs to **** off
I guess its not the sun's fault
it's just doing its thing
but maybe it could tone it down a bit
since our sunscreen was washed away
it could be worse though;
the summer storms could roll through
flooding the countryside in a muddy wave
and leaving us trapped underwater
the floods didn't use to be common,
but now they happen every year
sometimes i jokingly wonder aloud
who forgot to turn off the hose
so I'll just sit in front of my fan
wishing we had ac
and longing for ice cream
that has already melted
Jul 24, 2019
Jul 24, 2019 at 11:17 AM UTC
The tongue wags with sudden impulse
swearing on myself what I’d never utter to another
a volcano of failure erupts like a reflex
gushing in a tide of crimson anger
making me wonder if my mind is master
or merely a servant of fleeting feelings.
I embarrass myself and subject those in earshot
to these small virile tsunamis of garbage
molesting and spoiling peaceful moments
while they silently love me
and cherish the molecules of purity
they see and summon in me.
It will take a higher power
to stem this tide
for my own devices have pitifully failed.
I call out to the heavens
mount me on eagles’ wings
bear me on the breath of dawn
change my mind
and pinch my tongue
between your finger and thumb.
Mar 23, 2019
Mar 23, 2019 at 7:50 AM UTC
I hate waiting
I always have
It’s become a real ******* issue in everything I do
I move too quick, I leave things unfinished,
If something takes too long, it’s easy for me to get ******
So you can only imagine
How ****** I am about you
You’re taking a sweet **** time aren’t you
Probably running around with other people I can’t measure to
Or maybe you’re like me,
Lonely
Well then all is the better to hurry the hell up then won’t you
I’m tired of waiting for this great love
But don’t get me wrong it’s not standards or the idea of soulmates holding me back
It’s just
I’m still waiting for you
For the person who makes me feel so in love that I’m stupid
I want you here now
I want to write stupid sappy poetry about you
I want your dumb smile to be stuck on my mind all day long
I want to hold you and be held by you and just sit there and feel
Feel ******* comfortable for once
I want to kiss your idiotic mouth and fall deeper down the well
I want the want I feel for you to crash over me like the **** tide
I want to **** you until neither of us can breathe
I want to know your name so I can whisper it to myself when I’m alone
I want to hold your hand and imagine what its going to look like, all wrinkled and grey
I want fights and dumb arguments, days spent laying around with the worst of our thoughts
I want to be there for you, with whatever you face and whatever you’re going through
I want to love you, you insufferable *******
I want to fall stupidly and blindly in love
So could you please
hurry the hell up.
Feb 10, 2019
Feb 10, 2019 at 6:57 AM UTC
"Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play."
sang Paul McCartney in his song
and my first lover to me a long long time ago in the Atlantic mystery by the golf of Mexico.
I believe it's better that,
"when we love someone,
we do so un conditionally- without any expectations no riddles or fill in the blank games or cold computer screen mirror- button- pushing disaster!
Like my wealthy elite did to me just to show me how troubled he really was. Even though hurting to test a woman's heart is acceptable if worthy material.compensation exists.
Nothing really beats the face to face dialogue
embracing his lady with a hug and a passionate smiling kiss
an adorable " I love you"
from a true love lover
who was Lost and~~~~?
~~~~~~
Lost~~~~~~~~
passion~~~~~
change~~~~~
earth~~~~~~
(Fill in the blanks please.)
~~~~~~
Revised:03/30/19
By: Karijinbba.
(Asg/Bba)
Oct 25, 2018
Oct 25, 2018 at 3:21 PM UTC
Tell them everything & don't leave out the good parts
Hell bent whispers for desperate listeners
I'm not proud of the things we did
No, it didn't work out ... we were just kids
Knowing I stand tall in courage to leave
Go on and tell them why I needed to flee
Oh, everyone is talking about me
Oh, I've kept it mute so you wouldn't fall
Don't leave out the good parts, tell it all!
Tell them everything & in between
How you've become so mean... you've got your story & I got mine
Oh, the secrets you've told me
Uh, were a waste of my time
Good sweet lies as you said " I love you"
How do you feel now? Seeing me rise above you
Tell em how you broke my heart
Should have left but was blinded from the start
Just continuous restless nights
Knowing my decision was right
Fine lines were breaking
Unbreak my heart now that beats to a different drum
Continuous agony has made me go numb
Knowing **** well it was all affecting me
You tarnish my character just so you can look clean
Oh, after it all. I promised to never fall
Uh, at least tell them I'm a good kisser.
Think Good Thoughts! JK! **** You!
Jul 9, 2018
Jul 9, 2018 at 11:55 PM UTC
I threw you into the ocean
Watched you flounder
Screaming—
Small and silly.
The ring was barely
Too big
For my little finger
(Probably fit just right on your ****
I threw it too—
A stony life preserver
For the small-dicked
And emotionally stunted.
I hope you hate yourself,
Darling.
I hope your time below the surface
Is all
Baking soda and sardines.
You ******* sadboy
You bigot in sheep’s clothing
You needy, whiny little
Thing.
The ocean was the best
Thing
That could have
Happened to you
Remember that
Thing
When you
Drown.
Feb 2, 2018
Feb 2, 2018 at 11:05 PM UTC
I don’t know why
You pretended
To love me
Or how you faked
The whispered sighs and
Shattered hourglasses
Or where I’ll go
Now that home
Isn’t you anymore.
I don’t know why
You pretended
To love me
When it’s easier
To use a brick
To soften me
Or to slice my
Pretty thighs—
(Would I drain the way you like?)
I don’t know why
You pretended
To love me-
Other boys would burn me
Hit me
(Run me over with a tractor?)
You were never
A stickler for
Legality-
What’s the
*******
Problem
Then?
Jan 2, 2018
Jan 2, 2018 at 2:17 PM UTC
and i’d like for it to sound poetic.
poetic and sad
“the car smelled of
cigarette smoke
as we swerved
on an empty highway
waiting for the sun
to catch up”
nah.
neither of us smokes
and you didn’t swerve
and the highway wasn’t empty
and it was only
eleven p.m.
we weren’t running from the sun
i’d like to say
we were chasing it
but baby when
have we ever done something
so brave?
nah.
it would even be poetic
to admit that we’re cowards
but we aren’t those either
we’re just ****** people
you know?
that’s all we are
that’s all anyone is
driving on a highway at eleven p.m.
with other people
who are just people
and ****
if that isn’t the most poetic
and sad ****
that i’ve heard all day.
ha.
turns out the highway
was empty
after all.
Oct 23, 2017
Oct 23, 2017 at 1:24 AM UTC
has no one ever told you that you’re the
most beautiful thing in the universe?
has no one ever told you that?
see
i find that so surprising.
because.
when i took a moment to stop being so
entranced with the way the light crystallizes
on the leaves of the hammock trees.
when i took a moment to take a moment
and look at you.
holy ****
“oh
oh my god
why, aren’t you just the most beautiful thing
in the universe?”
aren’t you just the most beautiful thing
in the universe?
aren’t you?
my child eyes
the same oceans that have seen storms
my child eyes
must be newborn
because you
oh my goodness
you seem to float with the clouds way up
there in the blue abyss
hey,
can you toss down your string?
sweetness
i’d very much like to
join you
Oct 19, 2017
Oct 19, 2017 at 6:03 PM UTC
oh, how badly
i want to show you
the truth
that the sun does not shine for you
the sun will never shine for you
and you can live with that
oh, how badly
i want to show you
that you can be kind
******* you can be so kind
the kind of kind that
blooms the flowers in your chest
and leaves petals after your every footfall
oh, how badly
i want to show you
that things will only be okay
if you let them be okay
let them be okay.
let youself.
be okay.
oh, how badly
i want to show you
to tell you
to pound it into your ******* head
that
you
are
allowed
to
be
okay.
Oct 19, 2017
Oct 19, 2017 at 5:39 PM UTC
Let's take a second
Recalibrate this conversation
You do know, right
That I am the hinge on this life
I don't want praise
Or a pat on the back
But even hinges need WD-40
From time to time.
**** it,
I need to be greased constantly
I'm needy in that way
(Therapy helps)
But look into my day-to-day:
On my left is the Wall,
My root and my reason
My family (my girls).
The Wall is permanent, important
(Those words don't do it justice)
On me it relies on necessities of life.
For that Wall, I hold the Door.
The Door on the right,
Replaceable, not solid,
It's a means (to an end)
That Door is temporary, minute
(Compared to the house)
And on me it rests, day in and day out.
On ME it rests
I am the only hinge
The other?
We won't talk about him
But hinges only have two hands, you see
One on the wall, one on the door
I have no hands that are free
Hinges are fierce little *******
That are good at their jobs
But they age all the same
So **** off.
May 16, 2017
May 16, 2017 at 5:47 PM UTC
I'm [not] yours
To purchase
On sale by fifty percent.
I'm [not] yours
To review
On the five star scale.
I'm [not] yours
To ****
Your insecurities away.
I'm [not] yours
To be
Your happiness and joy.
Believe this
Or don't
I'm [not] yours.
May 12, 2017
May 12, 2017 at 1:08 PM UTC
Ever curse in front of a priest?
It's awkward to say the least
especially when you let it slip
Jesus Christ, Holy ****
Apr 10, 2017
Apr 10, 2017 at 8:07 PM UTC
You plant all day in your made up garden
You bury me in all the dirt
And then you refuse to give me a pardon
I never said a word you think
Please remove the mound from me
If I'm not removed I think I'll sink
I choke on crap you threw about
You shovel more dirt into my mouth
Stop this pointless grudge you lout
How dare you turn your back on me
I will get lost in this stupid ocean
I'm starting to drown in your dirt sea
I did not say the thing you said
And by the time you forgive me
I will be several years dead
Stop shoving dirt into my throat
I can take it but you won't
I'll give it back and you might choke
So stop this pointless tiff
I won't tolerate anymore
Put an end to your stupid ****
Sep 30, 2016
Sep 30, 2016 at 8:21 AM UTC
Okay okay okay okay
I know cursing isn't quite lady like
But what?
Why?
Look at all these tears!
I'm so scared,
Because I'm closer to the edge,
To the cliff that could lead to my falling or our flying
Than I thought
And holy crap holy ****
I'm so scared because why?
This is so familiar,
So right,
Like a warm hearth
That's always been there
I just never knew where to look
And how why what's going on
Why does this scare me so much
I don't want to be this invested,
But I'm so invested already.
What
How
Did this happen?
I'm terrified
Absolutely terrified.
Happy. Beyond happy.
But scared.
I've never had issues with commitment before,
I've never been afraid of being let down before,
But right now,
Here and now
I'm so scared.
Yeah, I hate rejection,
But that's a human thing.
I've never been so scared
To admit what I feel
But I'm so ******* scared
Holy ******* ****
What do I do?
This sense of blind panic
And fear
And the urge to physically run
As fast and as far as I possibly can
Really isn't helping my asthma.
And I'm having these miniature flashbacks
To when I was pressured into believing love was forced.
And into when I thought loving potential could count
But this is different.
I've loved before.
But it was different.
We knew it wouldn't last,
His dreams took him too far
And my dreams were too domestic.
So we didn't even try.
But **** it,
What am I supposed
To even say?
It's not about familiarity or it being simple or easy
It's about a need
A craving
To see your smile or make you laugh or better some aspect of your life
That makes even this difficult part of life,
That being my newly developing issues with committing to and expressing this feeling
Because of fear,
Refreshing.
Safe.
It's not that you're a safe bet.
It's that you're the only bet I'm willing to risk making.
Did that even make sense?
What
How
Maybe I am damaged
But **** the world if I won't try to be better,
I'm going to be better.
Hand me a needle and thread,
I'll stitch together these tears in my flesh
And pass the glue
I'll put the pieces back myself,
I just might need you around for this part too
Because I only have two hands,
And I'm a ******* mess.
But I can be put back together again.
I can do it myself, as I've said,
But having someone around to hand you the supplies
(Like sewing needles, thread, glue, scissors, and lots of gauze)
Is extremely helpful,
And kind of necessary to not get tangled in your own stitches.
I don't know how to handle this.
Maybe I'll just wait.
Should I stop nearing the edge of the cliff?
But the wind is at my back,
Almost begging me to take off.
Just go, see how far I'll make it alongside you.
It's so natural.
So necessary.
Nothing is forced,
It all just...
Happens.
How can something that feels so right,
Something so real,
Make me so scared?
Okay whatever
Forget it.
Hit the ground running,
Come out swinging,
All the cliches
With the wind at my back
I'm as ready as I'll ever be
Which means I'll never be,
But I need to be so let's go.
C'mon life.
Gimme all you got.
Jul 10, 2016
Jul 10, 2016 at 12:20 PM UTC