#convinced
Forever slipping, sitting at the bottom of the top of the food chain
Trying to stay dialed in, working on removing my latest stain while older ones still remain
Struggling with another rebuild from the ground up, "job well done" but never paid
One crucial thing was forgotten, no foundation laid
I've played and been played, gone when I shoulda stayed
Had my faith destroyed by the faithful though I've recently prayed
My mental health convinced me to refuse medical aid, at least by anyone trained
Stood and faced the death brigade firing squad and I'm the idiot who brought a blade
Witnessing the beginning of the end, acid rain on my parade
No wrongs righted, song and dance quieted, exposing the charade
A tailor-made masquerade, face the price when dues aren't paid
I fell to the fray, had to say, "today's your day Satan" but not to be a renegade
But because I'm pretty sure I make the man upstairs afraid
He hasn't answered any of the calls I've made
©2023
Jun 4, 2024
Jun 4, 2024 at 2:52 PM UTC
I suppose worst is over
Knife pulled from the wound
Or like a broken bone freshly set
But being through the worst
Wonder what comes next
Chest tight
Anxiety
To not consider there ever could be an 'after' for us was just foolish
We thought we would be able to withstand any storm
So giving in like that after hurricanes and tornadoes
Amidst a light drizzle
Hurts
Twist story however you like
We were convinced love had the answers
Existed in a plane above the rest of the world
Which sounds like beautiful scenario until you look closer
And realize when you're up that high you've got a helluva long way to fall
Feb 24, 2024
Feb 24, 2024 at 5:57 PM UTC
Your hate
I need that
Your emasculation
Fulfils me
Your unaccountabilty
Don't worry I'm responsible
That ***
I'm going to kiss that
That knife in my back
It's all good I can heal
Your pain and struggles
Blame it all on me
Oct 9, 2020
Oct 9, 2020 at 7:53 AM UTC
The worst part is
It wasn't the distance
No matter how many times I'd visit
You still felt like something was missing
What you were convinced that I couldn't give you
I had to shut that door
So you would go find what you're looking for
So you'd stop telling me you're going to make it work
'Cause after three months babe I don't believe you anymore
Feb 21, 2020
Feb 21, 2020 at 12:16 PM UTC
#*Alone, I am happy
Convinced
Will never be
Left
Alone*#
Dec 16, 2018
Dec 16, 2018 at 6:16 AM UTC
Every smile I have ever faked
leaves a residue
of questions on my lips.
Asking,
“Why is it,
that this smile can’t be real?
Why is it,
that the world is so easily convinced by my lie?
Why don’t they try to break
this facade when they see it
in which I am trapped?”
Apr 3, 2018
Apr 3, 2018 at 2:26 AM UTC
*I'm Convinced
That after the last fence post ends
Just over the edge
That around the corner beyond the meadow
Is the end
And beyond that
Is rain
Endless and resting
Forever to be parted from the sky
Until the new life comes
And I am refreshed
It is then
And within
Would you explore with me?
Until our own end?*
Jul 27, 2017
Jul 27, 2017 at 9:36 PM UTC
Like the wind, she was cold.
All because she couldn't find a hand warm enough to hold.
She was convinced that the world hates her,
She believed that the world was so much colder.
She said she feels tired.
She said she's so done with the world and all it's liars.
She repeats everything she has said and done,
Without a word, nothing heard, she's gone.
Jul 7, 2017
Jul 7, 2017 at 12:27 PM UTC
"What are you even doing?"
I asked the boy in the mirror,
a recent friend
(and forever a mortal enemy).
"Trying.
And it's mental,
but we're getting getting there."
He sounded convinced.
I turned my head to the side,
his eyes followed mine,
glistening in the dim light.
"Are we a we?"
I asked him.
"No, you idiot,"
he replied, laughing.
"We're just you."
Jul 3, 2017
Jul 3, 2017 at 10:18 PM UTC
In an unguarded moment
I saw what it is, to not see myself.
The fogged up mirror
didn’t let my reflection reach me.
And what reached me was
just a picture colored out of lines.
The more I looked at my obscured face,
the more I was convinced
that the faces was not mine.
The more I was convinced of the face being a stranger’s,
more easier it was for me to love and accept it.
If I could see myself as someone else
how easier it would be to live my life.
Not knowing what I know about myself,
not knowing what I think.
To be what I am and what I am not at the same time.
How easier it would be , if this is
what I saw in mirror everyday.
How beautiful can be not knowing, not seeing.
Only smudged shades of colors.
A face not mine.
Jan 30, 2017
Jan 30, 2017 at 12:24 AM UTC
Important to be convinced before conceiving something new
Time has always remained important.
Important is the present moment in time;
important is the available time,
important because everything needs to be done within a stipulated time frame.
Every now and then there is always something to think of,
something new to think upon.
Every now and then there is something that goes on in the mind,
something different comes across the mind.
Important is that something that goes on in the mind
Important because it connects the past, present and also the future
Important is that moment in time when something concrete gets figured out in the mind with regards to the future.
Facts never need any conviction,
so does truth,
both of which never require any conviction.
Thoughts keep coming and going one after another
Positive attitude, positive mindset is what makes all the difference.
Think of past and present along the line of all that is going on in the mind keeping in mind an uncertain future.
The past will remain a thing of past while the future will get ascertained.
In any case,
at any point of time and at any stage,
it’s always important to have a conviction of own with regards to what needs to be done.
A convinced mind always knows the kind of efforts that are required and also puts in the same
A convinced mind knows the exact direction in which to move with regards to an aim that has been set, so as to refrain from all the negative thoughts and negative way of thinking.
Having a conviction of own makes all the difference,
a convinced mind can solve, resolve and settle everything and all that comes along it’s way,
if not by the way of it's thinking,
then by putting in the much needed extra effort,
which can also be the need of the hour.
So always have a conviction of own and then step ahead.
Nov 29, 2015
Nov 29, 2015 at 5:12 AM UTC