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#conquering
"Can you hear that sound? Do you see those tears? Can you feel their pain? Do you know for real? Are you actually prepared? Can you do anything? Will you let it fall down? Will you make it easier for me?" No. I will conquer.
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Mar 12, 2021
Mar 12, 2021 at 6:26 PM UTC
Chat with my demons
I am controlled They take hold quick conquering everything I am emotional insanity I’ve got to save myself.
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Apr 18, 2020
Apr 18, 2020 at 8:46 PM UTC
Vikings
Crouching in tendrils of bright green grass Two caterpillars set out on a daunting task Hearts filled with hope to taste the fruit Which had rendered so many full and moot They slugged their way out beneath the sun And laughed and talked of all they'd done Distracted they never saw the bird coming It swooped down much too close and sent them running Once they were sure the bird was lost They argued their plan and what it could cost They were both still afraid the bird would come back And this time that bird would precisely attack But they knew in their hearts that they came so far They couldn't turn back on their wishing star So they hauled for the tree which was just in sight When the bird swooped in and with all it's might Bit a chunk from both caterpillars **** end And with a mighty resurrection of power would send Both caterpillars catapulting to the tree Where both could feast and drink fruit mead In a drunken stupor honey glazed thoughts soar The caterpillars lost in slumber would snore And in their sleep their body's tore To be rebuilt with fine allure They stretched out their legs, wings unfolded as well Both stared in awe at the beauty, love spell They leapt in the air and tested their wings And rose to the sky to cheerfully sing Two soaring butterflies dancing with the wind They looked at each other and victoriously grinned They had beat the bird and ate all their fruit And may never had if they left that route
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Mar 5, 2020
Mar 5, 2020 at 10:48 PM UTC
Caterpillar Dreams
"Da Dramatics" when I hear I don't do drama.. It makes me.. Pull back my hands.. Cover my face again.. Look away.. shy away.. Because.. No miracles can be performed here today. If You don't do drama.. See drama may be rolled up in my sleeves. As I act out my creativities.. Share my masterpieces,, drama may be what bleeds. Drama in the sense that.. How I color my days.. How I blur out the craziest of ways. How I finger paint with audio lyrics.. How I try to make sense of dimensional physics. Confessions and testimonies, bleeds from my knees. And if I have to hide so much inside. Zip my lips...Be ashamed of my slips. Hide shades of identity.. Blur what bothers me. Only offer out the candy.. The weather hasn't always been kind to me. Your telling me there's no place for me. because there are days times I need to be as naked as can be. And I need you to be naked around me. To Dance naked with me. Well I'ma need you to be able to take it. As I can't fake it. Drama is musically.. parts of my harmony. Tamed/drama .. You have to be strong enuff cinematically With ears of christianity   Embrace me theologically  and love me. Don't fear the pets I have chained. On leases beside me. I'm a soldier dramatically. Drama does not define me. But It can be calmed made to behave spiritually. Except the dramatics as you accept my harmony. SelinaSharday S.A.M 2018
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Oct 31, 2018
Oct 31, 2018 at 5:03 PM UTC
"Do Drip Drama"
Fiends, Striving to drag you down, And of their frustration, You found it hilarious.
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Oct 25, 2018
Oct 25, 2018 at 7:06 AM UTC
Thriving
i came i saw (you lying there) i bit my lip in the morning light-- in the moonlight: i drug you up to my room i held you down onto my bed i listened to you beg. you climbed on top of me you pressed your lips against mine you slid your hand between my thighs-- i came. you saw. you conquered.
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Mar 12, 2018
Mar 12, 2018 at 11:36 PM UTC
morning after
I made a beautiful space in the corner of my shade, turned venom into lace and raced away from your hate, swirled quicksand with my tired hands, petted pretty vipers that hissed, slithering to where I stand, chased fireballs that were ready to consume me. I pursued my own agony, bit my tongue to taste my own blood, then spit it out not in spite but to watch the red grow. I wept in the spider’s den embedded in a cloud of webbing. I slept in the sinking ship that fell into the cold underwater abyss. I lay afraid to move and died in the infinite eternal black that was once beautiful, until it collapsed and took all the warmth I ever had back.
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Mar 11, 2018
Mar 11, 2018 at 12:34 PM UTC
Untitled
Got high on drugs Drunk on the bub Depression was a test A man left for dead I didn't think I would Get back up again Take a look I am still here I am still living With all, I've been through You bet it was a mission But I've cleaned up straightened out my life Never could have made it Without you in my life Was left in debt A bankrupt man People saying he's crazy How could he make it Back to his feet again the road was long and the climb was steep I was determined To make it to my feet Take a look I am still here I am still living With all, I've been through You bet it was a mission But I've cleaned up straightened out my life Never could have made it Without you in my life Girls gave me hell Never good enough for them They wanted everything but me in the end Thank god I didn't marry Thank god I didn't stray But I lost my stride the fall had broken my pride Take a look I am still here I am still living With all, I've been through You bet it was a mission But I've cleaned up straightened out my life Never could have made it Without you in my life I am still here And I am still living The scars dig deep But I'm still breathing I am still here And I am still living ©2018 Written By Benji James
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Jan 30, 2018
Jan 30, 2018 at 4:41 AM UTC
Still Here, Still Living
I waited for Prince Charming to Rescue me from this Tower "Come Save Me!" I would Think He never came I grew up. I had to. "Forget Prince Charming!" "I'm getting down myself!" Took a sword to the dragon Facing my own problems alone Some were scary, Frightening! But I have to do it. Prince Charming isn't going to rescue me. not every time. I'm strong now. All because I done it myself I can't let some stranger always take away my problems. You have to do that yourself. It's been ten years now. So, Dear Prince Charming, You never came. Don't start now. I grew up fine without you.
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Dec 12, 2017
Dec 12, 2017 at 2:52 PM UTC
Once upon a Time
Your dress is beautiful I know i shouldn't have seen it but i did The way it fell on your back like feathers laid against your skin The lace so delicately placed on you as if it were not there at all Your shoulders glowed under the lights As you turned your hair fell as if it were on purpose I saw it and now it replays in my head One... more... week I'll turn and smile in aw of your beauty Like a child finally getting the present he always wanted I'll laugh as you try not to fall in the heels you were determined to wear on this unleveled ground We will smile and shake our heads as the room disappears Just the priest, you, and... I Two words will echo for all to hear, "I do!!" At least they would have I can still hear your car start up The blinds shook as the door closed "You cant make me happy" If only that were the response to my hello two years ago. But no those words were whispered to me after we kissed and held each other one final time You said you were sorry like it needed to be said The color in your face was gone, the tears started to fall, and then it was just me I sat there frozen but not why i thought i did.. I see now i didnt move nor chase you because thats what you were use to I gave up in that moment I let you leave and now i approach the final stretch alone Tears dried up starting to breathe I wake up and dont even think of you You know for a while i thought youd come back, that it was just your meds, and i would be fine settling for my ****** life with you. But now i smile Yes i am so ******* relieved One more week until the rest of my life.. without you :)
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Dec 4, 2017
Dec 4, 2017 at 12:47 PM UTC
The Final Stretch
Your dress is beautiful I know i shouldn't have seen it but i did The way it fell on your back like feathers laid against your skin The lace so delicately placed on you as if it were not there at all Your shoulders glowed under the lights As you turned your hair fell as if it were on purpose I saw it and now it replays in my head One... more... week I'll turn and smile in aw of your beauty Like a child finally getting the present he always wanted I'll laugh as you try not to fall in the heels you were determined to wear on this unleveled ground We will smile and shake our heads as the room disappears Just the priest, you, and... I Two words will echo for all to hear, "I do!!" At least they would have I can still hear your car start up The blinds shook as the door closed "You cant make me happy" If only that were the response to my hello two years ago. But no those words were whispered to me after we kissed and held each other one final time You said you were sorry like it needed to be said The color in your face was gone, the tears started to fall, and then it was just me I sat there frozen but not why i thought i did.. I see now i didnt move nor chase you because thats what you were use to I gave up in that moment I let you leave and now i approach the final stretch alone Tears dried up starting to breathe I wake up and dont even think of you You know for a while i thought youd come back, that it was just your meds, and i would be fine settling for my ****** life with you. But now i smile Yes i am so ******* relieved One more week until the rest of my life.. without you :)
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35
I wish, I wish upon a star, That my fears won't go too far. When I am scared and alone, my fears are my throne. I want a place my fears can roam. I want a place to call my home.
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Oct 6, 2016
Oct 6, 2016 at 3:20 PM UTC
Fears
Every time I finally start to overcome  And from my feelings find the strength to run; There, around the corner, are my memories waiting, And I suddenly begin to realize that my strength is quickly fading. It doesn't seem to ever long enough last. I never seem to truly overcome my past. It haunts me in my dreams whether I'm asleep or awake. It knocks me down and beats me till once again I break. I try so hard, I really do, I try my best to look forward to Every good thing that will come from this pain, And every little gift I'll in the end gain. I know that everything has happened for a reason, I only wonder at what time or in which season? When will the past at last be behind me? What must I do to find you to come find me? How long will it take, I've truly begun to wonder, When I no long hear this passing thunder; The clash-clanging reminder of that which has been, To finally see the sun along with a newly best friend? Again I say my best is being done, To this drenching pain at last overcome. Yes I'm doing my best to weather the storm Still it's leaving me feeling so battered and worn. 8/21/14 10:46 p
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Jun 8, 2016
Jun 8, 2016 at 11:39 PM UTC
Overcome
I’m bigger, but better In all senses of the word My old clothes, Tight, taut, too tiny, Abandoned for I have Outgrown them
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May 27, 2016
May 27, 2016 at 3:49 PM UTC
actualize
Strength Is not Keeping your head Above the waves It is sitting calmly opposite an advancing typhoon Perfectly unstirred, And perfectly unimpressed By nothingness Strength Is not Overcoming But remembering Your immeasurable Greatness It is surrendering Yourself To the pull Of the seabed And laughing At the notion Of death
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Mar 26, 2016
Mar 26, 2016 at 2:13 PM UTC
Strength
I'd like to travel the world before my death. Even if it means bleeding too much, for see if the earth is round. Die on one year, maybe two, to rest me a little. Then to return by conquering as long as my teeth hold these places. And if I made nothing of me, no matter, I sing in front of your door. And if you don't open me, let the devil takes me. It doesn't matter to me, I've taste the flavors of the paradise.
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Apr 29, 2015
Apr 29, 2015 at 12:10 PM UTC
The flavors of the paradise
I remember being chained to the floor My mouth stitched shut by threads of doubt Not knowing if I'd been locked away in an abyss Or if my eyes had been seared blind by all the pain I chose to see All breaths were heaving burdens And I could feel my heartbeat slowing but did not have the will to use it to trace the passing time What could I do? Was there a word, a spell to unlock the hold placed upon me If I could only clear away all the trauma and tragedy But nothing, I could find nothing I remember crying to the sound of voices telling me I would end and waste away here They laughed as they told me I was meant to die Screaming I tugged viciously at my shackles Nothing, I could feel nothing But then my moment came Something gave way the chain had certainly loosened That night or day or moment void of time I bit down hard on my own flesh as I begged my body to fight for me Despite the blood trickling off my fingertips Hours, no it could have been days I wouldn't have known the difference between seconds and weeks But through curses and agony I split my chains And I tore open flesh and stitches to let my cry of victory echo I remember laying my fingers over every crevice of that chamber Still blind to anything that lie beyond my cell of self inflicted torture Surely there was a way to escape I scanned over the room until I could find the walls without reaching out I found myself stranded and the voices came back to mock my feeble attempts at freedom And I cried and cried and cried I remember growing a fire in my heart with the burn of determination to survive Begging it to quicken and bless me with the will to fight And that is when I began to climb Oh how many times I fell and cursed my foolish hope Only to convice myself to scale the wall once more Sweat raining off my back At last I caught a whiff of something alive and fresh And titled my head up Proceeding to choke on my own breath How long had it been since I'd witnessed the glory of light And with layers of skin stripped from my fingertips I clawed my way up to flat land for my final battleNow I'm looking down on the endless pit I jumped into And here is what I will remember As I breath air both crisp and smooth Savoring flowers unique scent and tastes I will remember that the only reason I now take every advantage of our golden sun By absorbing all and every ray of light Is because of every ounce of effort and energy I poured into gaining back my open skied world Every drop of blood Every anger soaked tear Every fear filled drip of sweat Made my journey a success There was no miracle, no spell Just a straight uphill battle matched only by my own will to thrive And so there is no forgetting That this was more than worth it C.N. / Words written in the sky that is my mind
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Mar 10, 2015
Mar 10, 2015 at 5:47 PM UTC
A Lesson on Never Giving Up
I remember being chained to the floor My mouth stitched shut by threads of doubt Not knowing if I'd been locked away in an abyss Or if my eyes had been seared blind by all the pain I chose to see All breaths were heaving burdens And I could feel my heartbeat slowing but did not have the will to use it to trace the passing time What could I do? Was there a word, a spell to unlock the hold placed upon me If I could only clear away all the trauma and tragedy But nothing, I could find nothing I remember crying to the sound of voices telling me I would end and waste away here They laughed as they told me I was meant to die Screaming I tugged viciously at my shackles Nothing, I could feel nothing But then my moment came Something gave way the chain had certainly loosened That night or day or moment void of time I bit down hard on my own flesh as I begged my body to fight for me Despite the blood trickling off my fingertips Hours, no it could have been days I wouldn't have known the difference between seconds and weeks But through curses and agony I split my chains And I tore open flesh and stitches to let my cry of victory echo I remember laying my fingers over every crevice of that chamber Still blind to anything that lie beyond my cell of self inflicted torture Surely there was a way to escape I scanned over the room until I could find the walls without reaching out I found myself stranded and the voices came back to mock my feeble attempts at freedom And I cried and cried and cried I remember growing a fire in my heart with the burn of determination to survive Begging it to quicken and bless me with the will to fight And that is when I began to climb Oh how many times I fell and cursed my foolish hope Only to convice myself to scale the wall once more Sweat raining off my back At last I caught a whiff of something alive and fresh And titled my head up Proceeding to choke on my own breath How long had it been since I'd witnessed the glory of light And with layers of skin stripped from my fingertips I clawed my way up to flat land for my final battleNow I'm looking down on the endless pit I jumped into And here is what I will remember As I breath air both crisp and smooth Savoring flowers unique scent and tastes I will remember that the only reason I now take every advantage of our golden sun By absorbing all and every ray of light Is because of every ounce of effort and energy I poured into gaining back my open skied world Every drop of blood Every anger soaked tear Every fear filled drip of sweat Made my journey a success There was no miracle, no spell Just a straight uphill battle matched only by my own will to thrive And so there is no forgetting That this was more than worth it C.N. / Words written in the sky that is my mind
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57
The heart is in my art
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Sep 4, 2014
Sep 4, 2014 at 6:17 PM UTC
I'm back
Lead me along to the end of the line Where I’ll take all my woes and leave them behind Step by step the world draws near When time resumes so will the fear Fight, fight, fight It burns, this raging of the light These walls have stood strong from the day they were risen So now begins the cataclysm It shakes and shakes, right to the hollow in my heart It break and breaks, the walls begin to part With silver string I try to tend Frantic stitching meant to mend Silver straining to hold the pacts Struggling to close the growing cracks But in the end the walls cannot hold In the end my defenses fold And in and in the tides invade The one thing that all have obeyed The time, the time It is here Now there is no stage for fear The stone does crumble The earth does rumble Dodge the rocks as they tumble For here is the wave as it washes through Even if you have not a clue Wave your arms and kick your legs Swim the currents you must brave So I swim, I swim for the shore Sink fingers in the beach, aching and sore I’ve lost the silence I knew before Wild and untamed life abound Terrifying beauty does surround Ecstasy and agony walk hand in hand As I roll to my back on this bed of sand The gilded cage is torn asunder Bared to the world, this splendid wonder You led me along to the end of the line Hiding from the world was my crime Take a deep breath Prepare for immensity Take a big step Because courage is necessity
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Jun 15, 2014
Jun 15, 2014 at 3:41 AM UTC
The Wave