#claus - Hello Poetry

T'was the night before Christmas The kids were in bed Dreaming of Santa All dressed up in red The wife was upstairs Wrapping gifts in our room I was watching old Scrooge In old London gloom when out of the blue there was a knock at the door I leapt from the couch and i slipped on the floor i answered the knock i still got there quick and to my surprise there stood St. Nick "Please, sir I pray" "may I enter through here" "My stomach is churning" "an explosion is near" I pointed the way first door on the right Santa went off To relieve himself right My wife came downstairs She asked 'bout the knock I said go upstairs She'd think my tale was a crock The bathroom door opened Santa came out Then he told me the tale Of what this all was about "All of these houses" "with warm milk and cookies" "get my gut growling" "like a room full of wookies" "Soy, two percent" "almond and skim" "all mixed together" "the result is quite grim" "It started to churn" "and I was getting quite frantic" "I was just coming in" "from above the Atlantic" "Most years it's fine" "But, this soy...never try it" "it should really be banned" "not put in one's diet" "Do you mind if I sit" "for a while just in case" "I've got more houses to hit" "And it will be a race" My wife stood quite still In fact she'd not said a word Imagine your toliet downstairs Home to dear Santa's **** I offered a drink Something to settle him down He said thanks, but begged off And he gave a slight frown "I've got to get going" "Time stops just so long" "Thanks for your help" "It could have all gone so wrong" He filled up our stockings He called his reindeer by name "I'll bypass the chimney and I'll leave as I came" I looked at my wife We both said "oh well" I mean when you take it all in Just who could we tell? So, in future please listen take a second and think It could end up quite bad don't leave him soy milk to drink

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Oct 29, 2017

Oct 29, 2017 at 10:20 PM UTC

roger-turner

santa's situation

T'was the night before Christmas The kids were in bed Dreaming of Santa All dressed up in red The wife was upstairs Wrapping gifts in our room I was watching old Scrooge In old London gloom when out of the blue there was a knock at the door I leapt from the couch and i slipped on the floor i answered the knock i still got there quick and to my surprise there stood St. Nick "Please, sir I pray" "may I enter through here" "My stomach is churning" "an explosion is near" I pointed the way first door on the right Santa went off To relieve himself right My wife came downstairs She asked 'bout the knock I said go upstairs She'd think my tale was a crock The bathroom door opened Santa came out Then he told me the tale Of what this all was about "All of these houses" "with warm milk and cookies" "get my gut growling" "like a room full of wookies" "Soy, two percent" "almond and skim" "all mixed together" "the result is quite grim" "It started to churn" "and I was getting quite frantic" "I was just coming in" "from above the Atlantic" "Most years it's fine" "But, this soy...never try it" "it should really be banned" "not put in one's diet" "Do you mind if I sit" "for a while just in case" "I've got more houses to hit" "And it will be a race" My wife stood quite still In fact she'd not said a word Imagine your toliet downstairs Home to dear Santa's **** I offered a drink Something to settle him down He said thanks, but begged off And he gave a slight frown "I've got to get going" "Time stops just so long" "Thanks for your help" "It could have all gone so wrong" He filled up our stockings He called his reindeer by name "I'll bypass the chimney and I'll leave as I came" I looked at my wife We both said "oh well" I mean when you take it all in Just who could we tell? So, in future please listen take a second and think It could end up quite bad don't leave him soy milk to drink