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#cancer
She’s running out of time and out of breath, and the memories are starting to leave her. She says that these things were all she had left, and she doesn’t want to see people prematurely start to grieve her. Just give me one more day, I won’t wish it away. Every night I’ll pray that she’ll find the will to stay. If you’ve never loved you’ve never lost, those angels from above; they come with a cost. She’s got all types of artificial life running through her veins, and yet with all that help she’s still feeling pain. Just give me one more day, I won’t wish it away. When one side starts to sway, I won’t beg her to stay. Well now nearing the end of the race, there’s some decisions one has to face. I’ll take any comfort to keep heart warm even if it’s just signing a form, to give her one last choice, I hear confirmation in her voice. And within merely hours, the tears pour out like showers. Wasting away, and still I want to say “please just stay.” “It’s only May.” “I’m sorry I couldn’t keep this feeling at bay.” “Please just stay.”
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6h ago
Jun 3, 2026 at 1:26 PM UTC
A May Day
The first sign was the cat that ran up to us on the street, he rubbed against us and lay down for a scratch. I thought it would be that’s that but three more we were to meet, a peculiar encounter with an odd batch. No matter how you pull or how you yank it, there’s something about those blankets that make you feel cold. The only time that a person has one is when it’s near their time to come; not destined to grow old. That night on the TV, there was Bette Midler in one of my favorite movies we used to say she reminded us of you. But the resemblance to her you said you had failed to see, I guess it all depends on the point of view. No matter how they sow when they make it, there’s something about those blankets that make you feel cold. The patterns of the quilt may be appealing but it’s heat and fate it’s sealing, to never grow old. A cardinal came the day after you passed it was the first bird Kate had at the feed, I said “I think that’s her saying her goodbye.” I hope that bird’s not the last that we’ll ever see because I need to know you’re still around with her and I. No matter if you deny or if you thank it there’s something about those blankets that make you feel cold. I’m sure I’ll make use of it enough, if I’m built so tough that I can grow old.
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2d ago
Jun 1, 2026 at 3:35 PM UTC
Bloodline Blanket
every year of delayed achievement, i accept all the more that she will miss. when i lose myself to my grievances, im welcomed home by the warmth of her kiss. darling mother, who keeps me warm nightly, i can see the familiar ache in your smile. if still a family of five by christmas, here's to your health for another while. i wonder who i'll be at goodbye, will you wonder just how much more i could be? will i wonder what your voice sounded like at night, when we spoke over every show on TV? i stare at the wick of this candle, and fear the room without all its light. everyday i grieve in the disease's favour, but today you're alive, and warm, and bright.
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May 25
May 25, 2026 at 10:54 PM UTC
a quick poem on anticipatory grief
just passing time many days lingering like a dew drop resting on a bloom waiting for that moment of evaporation
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May 10
May 10, 2026 at 11:31 PM UTC
Fault In My Stars
My metabolism stagnates and then there is even more awaiting Then there is much to wish for My tail goes limp I no longer jump and no longer feast on the wonders I become malnourished my skin is coming loose My friend gets worried as he caresses me My thoughts, too, are thinning out Into ghosts, into a horror of how it may end And through it all: the bombs on waterworks and hospitals There are many alarm signals and no shelters
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May 10
May 10, 2026 at 3:02 AM UTC
Springtail Blues
Knocked out all along: my intestines a tangle -- a jam, mikado.
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May 10
May 10, 2026 at 3:00 AM UTC
Knocked out all along
How could such evilness be so close To the Kindest heart I’ve ever known How could the woman Who embraced others In their sorrow Host the demon that has grown I am beginning to understand Time and unexpected events Overtake them all I refuse she has been overtaken I am beginning to understand Inside and out No one is better Because humans have been forsaken
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May 3
May 3, 2026 at 9:36 PM UTC
Evelyn has breast cancer
a gowny way of thinking watching views passing in my head fasting not attending to any one of them never thoughts of importance just a carousel to blur i trade it to the task before me the industrial bath drains a slow beige stretch and my brain feels a little pulled at i’ve a simple washing task the last sick child of the shift has been immersed baptized and ushered out and I’m left to scour the chemicals away (hope child will live to see another day)
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Apr 24
Apr 24, 2026 at 3:19 PM UTC
t u b
I recall being wrapped in your arms; It made me feel invincible. I carry your love, It was my armor— Me and you against the world. I never understood, When the truth hit, When the cancer spread, The gravity of it... When you couldn’t be you anymore. Everything froze. I clung to the edge; You’d gone. I collapsed into the sofa. But why? Why had you abandoned me? I was robbed of years. I never learned your story. I didn’t get the days with you— That was the dream. I needed you. I was lost without you. You were far from a saint, But you were human. You were my Dad, I miss you.
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Apr 24
Apr 24, 2026 at 6:26 AM UTC
The Unlearned Story
it counts in splits it can’t recall, divides where there was once a wall. a copy warped, a mimic wrong, that multiplies its broken song. it hoards the breath, corrupts repair, rewrites the rules of what is there. no wound to close, no end to keep— just endless growth that doesn’t sleep. it learns my face by slow degrees, unthreads my name from memories, till every cell that should be “me” forgets the shape it used to be. it settles in without a sound, makes native what it once unbound, a quiet claim beneath the skin, as if it had not entered in. it doesn’t knock—it leaks in slow, through hidden paths we do not know. no edge to mark, no clear divide, just something spreading.. from inside. no fever warns, no mercy slows. it is the way the body goes, when what should end forgets its part and learns to live by breaking heart.
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Apr 18
Apr 18, 2026 at 4:45 PM UTC
what grows quietly.
Visiting mother-in-law in another state Her husband, a good son, mama‘s boy The house was full with brothers and sisters Drinking playing naked twister. Mom stayed in her room, unable to get around Trying not to make a sound In fact, with all the children under foot, She felt it best to stay put Her children filed one by one into her room To wish her love. Bring cheer to holiday gloom. They decided to get her a tree Because in her room she had to be Unable to make it downstairs to the Den Hanging ornaments, remembering when Daughter-in-law fit right in Party Hardy Christmas daze Brain fog in a haze Went outside for a smoke And a quick **** An awkward Pivot and turn Snow black, ice, slip and fall Her bloodcurdling scream wake up all The inertia of events in slow motion She fell hard. She felt quick. Lickety split Straight on her face, forget appearances, Social grace Unconscious for a few minutes she came to Partygoers didn’t know what to do. She tried to stand, but passed out a second time Coming to she was not in the right frame of mine The right side of her face quickly, turn black blue The eyes socket, cheek, the chin forehead, too. She was confused didn’t know her name This was not a reindeer game 911 ambulance came quickly through the night Christmas Eve in the hospital diagnosis fight Doctors judgment call The question what came first The Brain Tumor or the fall CAT scans MRIs to no surprise A brain tumor in her head between her eyes Back home California urgent tests, CAT scan MRI takes months at best Backlogged many patients, few machines Hospital staff long hours work in their dreams Rule out, Cancer or benign The waiting game cancer or fine Cancer This is not her first bout She has her moments scream and shout Breast cancer took her right breast out Chemo decimated her body strength Is she willing to go the duration the length? She refused brain biopsy the same With chemo treatment her feelings not tame Secondary situations lymphedema remain Simple movement insane pain Too much in her head, she sits in bed Each of her friends offer advice She listens intently, but doesn’t think twice She won’t tell any of her friends For her, this maybe the means to an end When is enough enough? No more Guff Rock bottom perhaps she’s done She told me she’s no longer having fun Perhaps the last bout of Cancer won Poked and prodded? morphine Dilaudid. She needs help going to the bathroom alone Difficult moving through house open door She’s losing consciousness waking on the floor Another fall another twist A broken arm, broken wrist, She no longer pretends to try Angry no more tears to cry She’s just glad for the life she can live For finding a man with love to give Fighting the demons of hatred and fear Knowing that her time may be near Inspired Songs 1) Live like you were dying 2004 By Tim McGraw 2) Ships that don’t come in By Toby Keith late 2023 early 2024? 3)I will survive 1978 By Gloria Gayer 4) You’re Beautiful By James Blunt
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Mar 6
Mar 6, 2026 at 1:56 AM UTC
Brain tumor Cancer rumor
Visiting mother-in-law in another state Her husband, a good son, mama‘s boy The house was full with brothers and sisters Drinking playing naked twister. Mom stayed in her room, unable to get around Trying not to make a sound In fact, with all the children under foot, She felt it best to stay put Her children filed one by one into her room To wish her love. Bring cheer to holiday gloom. They decided to get her a tree Because in her room she had to be Unable to make it downstairs to the Den Hanging ornaments, remembering when Daughter-in-law fit right in Party Hardy Christmas daze Brain fog in a haze Went outside for a smoke And a quick **** An awkward Pivot and turn Snow black, ice, slip and fall Her bloodcurdling scream wake up all The inertia of events in slow motion She fell hard. She felt quick. Lickety split Straight on her face, forget appearances, Social grace Unconscious for a few minutes she came to Partygoers didn’t know what to do. She tried to stand, but passed out a second time Coming to she was not in the right frame of mine The right side of her face quickly, turn black blue The eyes socket, cheek, the chin forehead, too. She was confused didn’t know her name This was not a reindeer game 911 ambulance came quickly through the night Christmas Eve in the hospital diagnosis fight Doctors judgment call The question what came first The Brain Tumor or the fall CAT scans MRIs to no surprise A brain tumor in her head between her eyes Back home California urgent tests, CAT scan MRI takes months at best Backlogged many patients, few machines Hospital staff long hours work in their dreams Rule out, Cancer or benign The waiting game cancer or fine Cancer This is not her first bout She has her moments scream and shout Breast cancer took her right breast out Chemo decimated her body strength Is she willing to go the duration the length? She refused brain biopsy the same With chemo treatment her feelings not tame Secondary situations lymphedema remain Simple movement insane pain Too much in her head, she sits in bed Each of her friends offer advice She listens intently, but doesn’t think twice She won’t tell any of her friends For her, this maybe the means to an end When is enough enough? No more Guff Rock bottom perhaps she’s done She told me she’s no longer having fun Perhaps the last bout of Cancer won Poked and prodded? morphine Dilaudid. She needs help going to the bathroom alone Difficult moving through house open door She’s losing consciousness waking on the floor Another fall another twist A broken arm, broken wrist, She no longer pretends to try Angry no more tears to cry She’s just glad for the life she can live For finding a man with love to give Fighting the demons of hatred and fear Knowing that her time may be near Inspired Songs 1) Live like you were dying 2004 By Tim McGraw 2) Ships that don’t come in By Toby Keith late 2023 early 2024? 3)I will survive 1978 By Gloria Gayer 4) You’re Beautiful By James Blunt
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my father falls asleep next to me at the car dealership hunched like a baby in the plastic chair his skin the olden pages of bibles and war histories creased and ever-yellowing and tucked away in the garage behind cases and cases of empty busch light cans soon to make us fortunes at the bottle deposit we wait for him to speak in bursts and glimpses i glance and his hands are blurry and clean clutching tissues and his own bolting head against the a.c. while i sting against the salesman’s grinning teeth, reduced: the tower and his little girl, stony, eroded to dirt and rotting pumpkins in the first and final frost he drives us home and we don’t speak about his paper skin bulging where oceans have crashed upon it veins jumbled and blotted and unreadable: devotionals stacked in the basement warped with seasons and ***** from him i learn to grow taller, hunching, awkward in autumn-stiffened skin; i plant tomatoes, peppers, zinnias in the icy creek and wait and wait and wait for spring shoots from him i learn to grow little cancers in my throat emerging like crocuses in the silence of march
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Mar 15
Mar 15, 2026 at 3:58 PM UTC
to equal or surpass the art of dying
i can not relate to people who put gum under tables i have nothing in common with people who put gum underneath tables i honestly find it difficult to accept the humanity of these type’s of people my goal in life is to be so completely myself that everyone else feels safe to be themselves around me for better or for worse i suppose i had breakfast so naturally i am now immune to my pain, my sickness, the fear of death, heartbreak, uncontrolled mood swings + crying i lose myself and find myself again + again over + over i miss you, i want you to **** me + teach me things about myself that i haven’t yet discovered 
i hate you, i want you to take me to the coast on your motorcycle + wrap your strong arm around my leg i’ll take a bath + watch as my anger slides through the water why can’t you be like me + love life, even with clenched fists
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Feb 13
Feb 13, 2026 at 11:21 PM UTC
at least they caught it early
When news like this comes crashing in, And all the world feels paper-thin, When strength is something hard to find, And fear keeps running through your mind— Please know, my friend, in all you face, In every dark or silent place, Though this is yours to brave and bear, I promise you: I will be there. You do not have to walk alone, Through quiet nights or days unknown. When things feel heavy, hard, or slow, I’ll walk beside you, step by step, As far as you need me to go. I can’t fix pain, or change the fight, But I can bring a bit of light. A hand to hold, a place to rest— Whatever helps you feel your best. Your love is fierce. Your heart is wide. But even warriors need a guide. And when your strength feels nearly gone, Remember this: You’re not alone.
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Feb 9
Feb 9, 2026 at 7:39 AM UTC
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO WALK ALONE
Have you ever considered how your shoes will look without your feet? I should call Dr. Killeen this afternoon, find out if I have cancer but I’m enjoying the extra weekend of not knowing. Strong oscillations gather rhythm and expel me or accept me. It’s annoying being the center of attention, the dead man walking. Things often work out better than you expect and this probably will too. In the transition to non-existence, Ken said, you get what you believe. Now that is a truly scary thought, even scarier than Life is but a dream. Pain serves the purpose of preparing one to die. Other methods have been tried but this works best. You tie up your affairs or maintain the discipline you possessed when feeling well. Eschew certainty about the afterlife. All will be given that must be what faith means. Don’t forget to breathe. Rain happens. We supply the reasons. Leave no footprint in eternity. No smell.
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Feb 3
Feb 3, 2026 at 7:24 AM UTC
Jack in His Boxers
He was an actor who was talented. People are sad because he is dead. He starred in 135 episodes of 'Sanford and Son'. People are devastated because of the death of Demond Wilson. Wilson starred in 'Baby... I'm Back' and 'Full Moon High'. He guest-starred on 'The Love Boat' and 'Today's F.B.I.'. In addition to being an actor, he was a minister as well. When it came to acting, he was successful, he didn't fail. Cancer ended his life and it is very sad because he had to die. His friends, family and fans are mourning as they say goodbye.
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Feb 1
Feb 1, 2026 at 9:05 PM UTC
Demond's Demise
The vestiges of slavery methodically remain. Blacks are being killed in broad daylight daily. Blacks are discriminating against systematically. Systemic racism is a cancer with a behemothic pain. The symbols of slavery refuse to evanesce like A shameful cloud lazily hovering over our head. There is too much hypocrisy around the sad bed, And too many racist tail-waggers are ready to attack. Too many unwell uncle toms are not emancipated. This is still a highly peculiar world. People don't mean What they mean and many impostors can't be trusted. The struggle must continue. Fights are never clean. Backstabbing is prevalent. The injustice is unbearable. Life is precious and priceless and yet hope is inevitable. Copyright © June 2020, Hébert Logerie, all rights reserved. Hébert Logerie is the author of several collections of poems.
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Jan 24
Jan 24, 2026 at 1:48 PM UTC
The Vestiges Of Slavery
I was thirteen when cancer decided it knew my family better than I did. One day you were braiding my hair, the next day the house smelled like hospitals and everyone whispered like that would save you. They told me to be “strong.” **** that. I didn’t want strength— I wanted my mom back, wanted your voice yelling my name from the kitchen because I forgot my **** backpack again. I’m seventeen now, four years older and somehow still that kid standing in a hallway that feels too long, watching adults cry like they’ve lost the map to their own lives. Cancer took you slow and ugly. No movie moments. No peaceful fade-out. Just pain, machines, and me learning new words I never wanted to know. People say, “She’d be so proud of you.” And maybe that’s true, but it still ****** me off that you’re not here to say it yourself. I hit milestones without you— first breakup, first real ****** learning how to drive with no one in the passenger seat telling me to slow down. Every win feels crooked without you clapping. Some nights I’m okay. Other nights I’m furious at the universe, at God, at cancer, at every stupid pink ribbon that doesn’t bring you back. I’m still growing up without a mom, still learning how to carry grief like it’s part of my spine now. And yeah, I laugh, I live, I keep going— but there’s a part of me that will always be that thirteen-year-old kid thinking, *this is so ******* unfair.*
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Jan 9
Jan 9, 2026 at 3:14 PM UTC
Four Years Older Than the Day Cancer Took You
there is a crack in everything; the burden of ballast, walking barefoot on the surface of the sun; waking up in that dark immortal furnace, outside your locked heart, to step through the copper door again and again, the only way out is through...
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Jan 8
Jan 8, 2026 at 12:05 AM UTC
Chemotherapy
Death came to call The finality of it all All one can do Is smile too As we age The face of Cancer rage It came to call again Mild skin cancer still scary It let you know who is in charge When you’re living your life out large Pulled out on the main stage Taking stock of the end of life gauge Still medical achievements see your way clear When margins are clean Cancer no longer near Every day, a blessing to live out loud To appreciate walking talking using your hands Just when you get comfortable in your new life Cancer comes to call husband CT scan speculating where it will land Is it like an iceberg 90% underneath? When you sense urgency in the oncologist Seeking second opinion with the proctologist Checking your lungs with the pulmonologist The second surgeon endocrinologist It’s rather like the other shoe dropping Nothing you can do or say for stopping Body shaking heartbreaking And that’s all she wrote Cancer again in my husband’s throat Doctor asks is there a parent you can call One by one Cancer took them all
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Jan 8
Jan 8, 2026 at 11:51 AM UTC
Through the years, Cancer fears
Cancer, there is no answer No rhyme or reason No, typical season It’s something you get through Not something you do Finality seniority The process regress The stages of grief Sometimes death is relief The things we aren’t supposed to say The things we think to make it go away We silently prepare for the worst Black hurst Negativity Under a demon’s spell Of no return of The finality of it all Life marker received the call When a life ends People in their grief try to make amends It is selfish of me to think these things The fear of what life brings Saying the silent out loud Facing the fear, giving it to God, letting Go Who am I if not, my husband’s wife What will happen to my life? What will I become? In totality I evolve For whom the bell tolls Death effects one and all Not just the one the grim Reaper call
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Jan 8
Jan 8, 2026 at 11:48 AM UTC
Cancer The Big “C”
i put down the disinfectant rung liquid from a cloth she calls it anointing the floor she’s trying but even this close to death           she has no view on god and can’t science much afterlife cancer has ridden up her                              and surpassed her pelvis she just wants a view                                  thats not a hospital room a place where she feels okay       to receive final visits but no facility will take her                     till her doctors agree     upon her approximate end date i continue disinfecting her room whilst we discuss neat ideas about 'what happens next'
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Dec 11, 2025
Dec 11, 2025 at 9:04 PM UTC
notes from cleaning palliative rm 30