#brokeness
We keep breaking the other
only to pick the broken pieces off the ground
Either we put the pieces together
or leave them down
We can’t go on forever
and not find a piece of us around
Jun 5, 2025
Jun 5, 2025 at 10:05 PM UTC
#
She is hiding behind her projected frumpiness..
but when my young lovely takes off her glasses;
Ah, ****
Those eyes are the reason men were given theirs.
Group facilitator is Christ incarnate..
I am sure of it.
"How well do you want to get, Paul"
I look over at her--
curled up on a chair pad..
hiding, wondering
Looking down.. and then looking up at me
wondering if I'm gonna answer him;
"Paul? Are you there?"
I stare at her-- all alone,
biting the back of her fingers
fighting tears few in this world
would understand
There is roll-playing in the group
using both action and Word
**to climb all over me
and uncover me from where I hide.**
He (my Jesus with an MA)
is staring at me, inviting
I look back over at her
"I'm not leaving it, Dave"
"Leaving what. Paul?"
***"My brokenness..
its shattering of my soul"***
He is staring at me, but begins to smile.
I look over at her, and just know
I will be with her forever
#
Feb 7, 2024
Feb 7, 2024 at 8:24 AM UTC
I open my eyes
But can't open my heart
It's a door tightly shut
So new love can't start
Looking for an antidote
To take the pain away
Heal my brokenness
I want to feel okay
Find myself between two walls
One is hope
The other fear
I can't climb over either
Frozen in place here
I know I'm not the easiest
Soul to love and adore
I try my best most days I live
But still should be doing more
I push away caring arms
Force myself to be alone
It's safer to suffer solitude
Than risk venturing into unknown
The past haunts my every move
Reminding me of my mistakes
So foolish though I never learn
How much more regret will it take?
Jul 12, 2021
Jul 12, 2021 at 9:15 AM UTC
There she was.
A beautiful little rose.
But heartbreak after heartbreak.
She looses her precious petals.
Until nothing was left of her.
Sep 21, 2020
Sep 21, 2020 at 5:27 PM UTC
There he was
With his black velvet heart
Smooth to touch, to feel, to love
Drawing me into that luxuriousness of this man
Something so soft, but so dark, so dark.
So I continued to be drawn by the softness, the richness
The dark eyes, dark hair, oh the lair
Once captured there was no escape
My heart forever was bound by his sultry all
No escape for whom we fall.
I shall never leave my cell
Of love that is lost and at great cost
Was my love was for him.
In my dreams he does come
But only with pain
To hurt me, break me over again
Oh the love that was lost at such a great cost.
I lost my heart to him and to him alone
My sweet innocent heart placed at his throne
Till death do us part was so very wrong
It simply did not last that long
But for him my mind does still roam.
To love again I will never impart
Because of his black velvet heart.
The End
Feb 15, 2020
Feb 15, 2020 at 2:45 PM UTC
But,
your "together"
was only
"to get her" ,
nothing more.
Love was not present on that relationship that she once had.
Jan 21, 2020
Jan 21, 2020 at 2:00 AM UTC
No longer the guardian.
No longer the hero.
Simply a soldier, a pawn in the battle,
unnoticed, fighting your own small battles,
your shield and skin and soul marked,
somehow still standing,
somehow able to wake in the new morning,
stand, and prepare for battle one more time.
There are no victories,
only the tide of war, the ebb and flow.
and a determination not to drown
in your own blood,
sure now, after a decade and more,
that you will not die of your wounds.
Even the broken
have power.
It is all a matter of how, or if
you choose to wield it.
Jan 6, 2020
Jan 6, 2020 at 12:40 PM UTC
Reached the tipping point
No medicine can fix me
Broken too badly
Jul 4, 2019
Jul 4, 2019 at 4:48 AM UTC
Hours
Hours have gone by
Days
Days have gone by
A year
A full year has gone by
Since meeting you
Since touching you
Kissing you
Falling for you
I remember it like it was yesterday
Your memories haunt me everyday
I think about you like your still apart of me
Making me wish I could relive just that one day
Will I ever learn to forget you? Or will you always be apart of me?
You consume me
A touch
Makes me remember is how you held me
A kiss
How yours is still the only one that will staisfy me
I meet strangers to forget you
But all it ever left me was wanting more of you
Jun 11, 2019
Jun 11, 2019 at 12:13 AM UTC
My heart has been broken for too long now.
It seems like an eternity of all now.
Nothing's the same and everythings gone.
But as much as I want this to end somethings wrong.
The brokenness just doesn't feel like normal heartbreak.
Though I know I can never make up for your mistake.
So I'm just stuck
For ever
Wondering how.
It makes my
Feel so
D
o
w
n
.
Jun 6, 2019
Jun 6, 2019 at 4:09 PM UTC
I'm choking on oxygen
My palms are sweating too much
My heart is jumping inside my chest
My brain is on a drunken haywire
I'm literally left speechless and dazed
I didn't see this coming
You're standing in front of me
Once again I get a glimpse of you
A glimpse that I would've killed for
In what was like a lifetime ago
You render me helpless
I thought I was done with this
My life was back on track again
My heart healing from the wounds
That your departure inflicted on me
And yet here I am
Time froze again for me
Because as the pain resurfaced in me
You seem like you're having fun
Living life as if nothing happened
And yet you left me in misery
How dare you smile in front of me
Showing me expressions that I've never seen before
Your smile a mockery of the harrowing experience
Of everything I went through because of you
I'm trying not to sob
You look like you own the world
Being happy with someone else nowadays
Yet here I am frozen and dumbstruck
As you blatantly ignore me when our eyes met
Here I go again
Spiraling in a downward depression
Feeling used and abused
When I simply gave my all to you
And you show me how insignificant I am to you
I'm done with this
I'm done with you and your cruel heart
That enjoys the misery of those she left
That craves attention only for self fulfillment
And leaves destruction in your wake
You are a storm
As storm that passed by my life
Who's torrential downpour I craved
But left me destroyed and broken
Leaving me to die out of breath
This is the last goodbye
I never want anything from you
Whose love is too hellish to earn
I never want to go through this again
Even if it leaves me wanting more from you
See what mess you left me in?
Apr 19, 2019
Apr 19, 2019 at 1:51 AM UTC
I grew up in the putrid decay of trauma
Trying to reconstruct the systems drama
Playing a part of victimized slaughter.
Of every word of hope I had, every laugh
Every stab, every push in the back every part of love I lack
Every piece of hate I contract. Man I'm losing track.
Keeping every Jenga piece in the stack.
And I hate the negativity I attract.
Thats why I’m trying something new.
Turning my progression into something true. Every copy, Every piece, Everything I do
Constructed into a new brand of truth
And as time is passing. Voices are still asking. Why is this white kid up here rapping.
And I ‘ll tell you why this is my passion. I hate the thought of our trauma crashing.
Making the better of us while the devil is laughing. And in a corrupt world where body’s are stacking and hurt is open traffic. And the only frequency we receive is static. And the fact that my mom was an attic only adds comfort to my panic. This system is nerving ending. And the shock is sending a mixed wave of pending impulses. And when the action is constructed, Their only thoughts are the past your stuffed with. Gagged and fed in. The hate of what you did that you’re continuously stuck with. And no matter your current sins. You are still given the opportunity to be forgiven.
Points are misconstrued. Any question, Every answer. Anything you choose.
Lets pick one to re-construe.
Our systems are filled with hate. Abuse to recreate. Siblings are disconnected.
And our worlds are fed with the continuous negativity within our media that our minds our sent with.
Peace within the races is drifted apart. And theres no light in the dark. Only bodies of morals that were taken from the start. Blood fashioned into a negative art. There’s racial divide right where the lines are. And the distance of peace is mile like far. Crimes committed every hour by the powered while someone innocent is arrested every hour. And when the diverted posture of hate is playing a part to keep our mouths sour. Eyes are closed. Centuries of neglect rose. And hatred is like fire ready to emerge from the stove. And our ideas of morals are completely distorted. Warped and contorted. Flooded with the pattern of systematic blood. Ideas of change are purposely adverted. Not enough pineal glands Removed from the skin when the knife is inserted. The system designed to keep us devoured. Within the difference of civil slavery and power. You want something to pray about. What about the neglect of the deaths of the ones who are left. And yet we are still having *** with the devil, who is the one to meddle with our lively hood. And yet those things aren’t understood. The first thing to truth being unearthed is.
The possibility of the word ‘could’. And then change can finally give birth.
Mar 22, 2019
Mar 22, 2019 at 4:13 PM UTC
She was a beautiful disaster
waiting for you to rebuild her.
Feb 5, 2019
Feb 5, 2019 at 10:29 PM UTC
My heart hurts... and I feel burned... I feel USED! AND ABUSED! AND TORN!
I'm not mad at you but at me. I just.... want.... to flee....
INTO YOUR ARMS!
**** you don't like rhymes, I'll stop. Why could not I have been ready for you when you were ready for me... I'm sorry.
I cried when I saw your book of scraps and pictures today. Never have I ever, felt, so, loved. I guess I thought it was a game. Time to stand up cause I lost, never have I ever.
Because you weren't a game but a person, that's been used and abused yet somehow stayed true despite the blue....shit there I got again. I do it cause it's easy. Unlike you, I just...
wish we could anew.
I'm not sorry I still love you
Oct 4, 2018
Oct 4, 2018 at 12:19 AM UTC
a stone
that falls
down a
hill,
rolls.
a mind
that escapes
reality,
exceeds.
but a
heart that
bleeds out
tolerance,
breaks.
Mar 23, 2018
Mar 23, 2018 at 6:39 PM UTC
i was in love with all the broken things
and the things others left behind
like guitars with missing strings
old record players that skipped a few beats
dusty books that fell apart
and people with already broken hearts
-k.j.c
Dec 4, 2017
Dec 4, 2017 at 9:26 PM UTC
They say learn to let go
Let go with love and kindess
But wouldn't that entrap you with blindness
Others say hate to let go
But wouldn't that hurt you more
Won't that break you to the core
For me love the memories
But never hate consume you
For this is all treasuries
Treasuries to store in your heart
For this is loves art
The beauty of love
Always love what you had
Always love the little things
For those little moments and memories
These are what makes love special
This is the beauty of love
Oct 16, 2017
Oct 16, 2017 at 6:29 AM UTC
*I feel lonely every time I think of you;
My first love
I thought I found the perfect match for me;
The match for my heart
But you slipped away between my fingers
Now you belonged to me no more;
The saddest sad
I must fight each day and night to live and love again;
Like I used to be
I'm counting on time to pass quickly but time is infinity;
Eternity is a long time
What is wrong with me?
Do others feel the same way or is it only me, myself and I?
So, so crazy for you
I would wait every morning and evening;
Even for eternity
Until you come back
Whether in this life or the next
I want to be with you forever and a day;
My first love.*
Feb 7, 2017
Feb 7, 2017 at 5:46 PM UTC
Eto ako ngayon,
nakahiga kama ko
isipan ay walang laman kun’di ikaw.
nababaliw sa bawat senaryo
na kasama ka.
Ilang beses ko na naisip
at na plano ang gagawin
sa oras na dumating ang
panahon na kailangan gumawa ng desisyon
kung pagpapatuloy ba natin
ang ating pagsasama.
at ilang beses ko na ding
nasagot ang sarili na
oo.
Kase wala lang naman akong
hihilingin kung’di ikaw
na nag papatibok ng puso ko.
Ang taong pumupulot sa mga basag kong piraso,
at binubuo ako, gamit ang ginto.
Kase ang mga hapon ay may sining
na kapag ang isang bagay ay nabasag
ang ginagawa nila dito ay
ginagamit ang ginto bilang pang digit.
Para sa kanila,
ang bagay na iyon ay mas maganda at kabighabighani
kesa nung eto ay hindi pa nababasag.
Ikaw ang ginto
na bumubuo
sa mga basag kong piraso.
Salamat.
Mahal kita.
May 14, 2016
May 14, 2016 at 2:33 PM UTC
"I fell for a nobody loves me kind of guy. Maybe it's because I'm a nobody loves me kind of girl."
Jul 11, 2015
Jul 11, 2015 at 1:57 PM UTC
If there's no mystery
then there's no need for God.
But there are certain things I know-
and other things I know not.
I used to think I knew everything,
now I know just how wrong
I was in everything
I thought was not wrong.
But I knew I would lose you
by the grace of God-
I got used to the abuse of you
And my heart started to rot.
Now I'm used to not having you
and only having God.
And that's two times you gave me the gift of love.
Blessings I'm thankful I have got.
You wiped every tear that fell
No, I don't deserve you at all.
I am so broken about the whole thing
I wonder how you loved me ever...at all.
Victories are had to take for me,
I don't deserve what they call
Success and it seems to me
I'll always be chasing God
May 19, 2015
May 19, 2015 at 3:26 PM UTC
My mind stretches outward.
AS my fist reaches the wall.
Bruising the skin and muscles.
I think of him,
Dark hair.
Blue eyes..
I close my own,
As tears reach me.
I miss you...
My god I miss you...
I tell myself to forget you,
When I have forgiven you.
My heart still feels like yours,
My mind..
Is somewhere else..
Please be alive..
Live your life to the fullest..
I will see you one day..
My dark one..
Fading into sleep,
I only dream of him.
When my heart is someone elses.
Dec 8, 2014
Dec 8, 2014 at 1:27 PM UTC