#blacksheep
I haven’t forgot your presence
In my life
Your essence lives on
A blade that slices through my reality
I’ve realized how alone I am
Separated from the rest of the family
As there’s a famine I’ve examined
A lack of impact
Since we refused to pander
To their ideas that are fixed in the past
That’s why their fulfillment will never last
Mar 11
Mar 11, 2026 at 9:14 PM UTC
Who are they
to make me feel this way?
Who signed the papers,
who stamped the permission slip
that said
yes, you may crash her spirit
until she forgets her name?
Who gave them the right
to sand me down
with opinions,
to call it “help,”
to rename my becoming
as failure?
They changed me.
They pressed and pulled and judged
until I bent in places
I didn’t even know could ache.
And now they stare, confused,
asking why I look different.
I was placed on this earth too.
Not as an accessory.
Not as a lesson.
Not as someone’s emotional labour.
I was placed here
to have a home and kids too,
to burn dinner and laugh about it,
to build dreams that scare me,
to grow old with stories
that don’t apologize for existing.
But selfish —
they held me hostage
against what works or doesn’t,
measured my worth
with earthly scales
that never knew how to weigh a soul.
They drove me
from sanity to insanity,
then asked why I’m tired.
But listen.
I am someone’s daughter.
I am someone’s friend.
I am a future mom
I am a person
who survived being misunderstood
and is still here
claiming space
with a trembling voice
that refuses to disappear.
And if that makes them uncomfortable—
good.
Because I am done shrinking
to make destruction feel justified.
Jan 12
Jan 12, 2026 at 12:35 PM UTC
A brother’s goodbye is like lightning;
A flash of anger then he’s gone.
Fiery words, and with one strike
He severed what has already been worn
The words slipped from his lips,
exiling me and my kind
Does he even understand what he’s fighting for?
To exile himself to an island.
A father’s goodbye stretches calendars
forever and in silence.
no need for words.
An unspoken cure
that distance prevents verbal violence
But goodbye with you, Grandma,
my Grandma…
it will echo through my mind for eternity.
It will haunt my soul with every step,
Because I want you to be free with me.
My goodbye is stained in unspoken grief
And haunted by the brokenness
of a family that never had a chance to heal,
where empathy was a stranger
or happenstance.
Aug 19, 2025
Aug 19, 2025 at 6:36 PM UTC
I am not the black sheep, so why don’t I belong?
My wool stands out amongst the heard, a speck of dirt on a
pristine
marble
dress.
I am not flicked away, but forced into another’s coat
To match the sea of white.
I am a stranger in my own body,
A mess of shredded wool and yearning
Yearning for my home
Feb 24, 2025
Feb 24, 2025 at 9:05 PM UTC
Born with thorns like her soul was the perfect description of a gift and curse in human form. Change was not what she ever wanted however, circumstances never made them unlimited. Her outstretched hands were for help and love but they got full with demands from people who still reprimand. Keeps her circle tight like as if she could make it wider if she had a chance. In this messed up world, damaged souls treat her as if she is the problem to their sorrows. But then, she will bloom and grow again because she lives as the root and a perfect one to loot
Sep 24, 2024
Sep 24, 2024 at 2:19 AM UTC
Just tell me,
"Why do I always have to save you?"
Of all people, why me not Jenny?
Just why would they blame me?
Am I not enough for mommy and daddy?
Why must you sacrifice me?
Apr 8, 2021
Apr 8, 2021 at 7:32 AM UTC
The local convenience store dealers lean on glass windows with ****** pupils scanning the parking lot for any takers. I pump my gas on station four and spy from afar. Don’t make eye contact or that means you’re interested. No buyers yet. What do you suppose is on the menu for today? Judging from the amount of zombies I’ve seen pushing stolen shopping carts a block away from here, I’d say smack. Tar. Black. ****** Whatever they call it where you’re from. Welfare bodies withered down to just flesh hanging from bone, wandering around aimlessly for their next fix. I’ve only ever tried it once; I was curious and sad and it was there—in Violet’s hand and then in my lungs. Do you think my mother would cry out in those disgusting sobs of snot and heaves of not-being-able-to-breathe-tears if she knew? Do you think my sister would look at me with that glare of judgmental disapproval because yet again, here’s an example of why I’m the family ****** Do you think my father would smack me upside the head and call me a dumb *** Probably. And do you think my third and sixth grade teachers who told me I should one day do something with my writing would be gasping in disappointment? Definitely. The gas pump clicks off. A potential customer staggers across asphalt to meet his makers and I am no better than he is at this very moment.
Dec 1, 2020
Dec 1, 2020 at 3:17 AM UTC
There was a village
Called Ludnica in maps
Quite old and vintage
The population reached 100 at max
It was known far and wide
For it's weird rules
Everyone had to abide
And dress like white ghouls
Half of them were blacksmiths
Working day and night
Others had to submit
And were to be polite
Every once in a while
Another black sheep would appear
Some even hostile
Not understanding why they were there
Then the blacksmiths' work would restart
They chipped away the metal chains
Reshaped the mind part by part
Untill the sickness didn't remain
"Where was this Ludnica?"
You might ask
But don't search for it
Because it will find you at last
Nov 12, 2020
Nov 12, 2020 at 5:40 AM UTC
At times I find myself blocked.
Stopped, unable to move forward.
Standing still, as the days pass me by.
Lost dreams, lost hopes.
Lost loves, lost friends,
Lost parents, siblings and children.
Lost heart, Lost soul.
Enter, exit, enter again and turn left
Or was it right?
May I go forward? Stop and await.
Do this! Don't do that!
They are wrong. We are right!
Over manipulated. Over controlled.
Enough!!!! No more!!!
Watching loved ones leave
Never to return again.
Broken hearted,
Longing throbbing pain.
So easily distracted by appetite
The smells and enticing words
"Massaman curry with rice with spring rolls
A slice of cheese, with date or olive
Lost in tasting, numb in feeling....
Eating myself into the land of oblivion
Drifting, floating, never to return.
It came quickly!
The rain fell hard in my summer!
Can you see us?
Everyone in their own storm.
Oh, please be still my restless soul.
Watching "them" drawing up schemes
Complaining maneuvers and attacks
Smiling smugly, together
under their "justified" umbrella.
I turned my energy away.
The wind continues to blow
And the rain continues to fall
Do I give into despair?
Or take courage to persevere?
Courage my friend.
A glorious choice, courage!
Moving gracefully through the storm
Calm stillness begins
Facing the sun
The shadows fell behind me.
"What if I grab the silver lining?
Will my life be forever changed?"
I am not a lone "Black Sheep" in this rain.
Each of us in line, shedding our fleece.
Letting it go, as white feathers
Gracefully floating higher
Upon sunbeams Home.
The storm continued as I built my new home.
Among the quiet of the fragrant cedars
Maples, birch and pine.
The fragrance of the wind
and the touch of the rain
Now fills my senses!
Opening, freely.
Spirit Dancing in the Rain!
My senses love the spring,
Summer and the fall rains!!
It was in this moment the clouds parted.
Revealing a flowing rainbow
With vibrational colors of resonance
A phi ratio within each color
Singing, songs, and connecting
Each strand of my human DNA.
A smile expressing itself
Thousands upon thousands of Colors!
An adventure within each
New sunny and rainy day!!
Oh, how I love, this sweetness in life!!!
Jul 17, 2020
Jul 17, 2020 at 12:15 PM UTC
I'm sorry I'm the ***** up mum
I wish I was the daughter
That you could admire
Instead I just destroy
Everything I desire
I'm sorry I'm the ***** up mum
And I'm not like the siblings you love
I promise you that I'm trying
But I know that it will
Never quite be enough
I'm sorry I'm the ***** up mum
The others seem to find it so easy
I wish I could breeze through life
Without a care
Just like the others
I'm sorry I'm the ***** up mum
I promise you I'm working
Towards a better future for us all
Even if it feels like
It's just a steady crawl
I'm sorry I'm the ***** up mum
I love you more than words can say
I would do absolutely anything
To make you proud
One day
Mar 4, 2019
Mar 4, 2019 at 3:03 AM UTC
A lizard's tail,
dew in the night.
Ambrosia from the gods.
A drop of a
mermaid's tear.
This is Floccus Magni.
Shadows of the dead,
harrows of the living.
Joys of the darkness,
terrors of the light.
Let's entangle ourselves in lace.
While you leave trails of swelling bliss.
When all seems lost, it can be found.
I'm crazy because of the dead silence.
Dec 28, 2018
Dec 28, 2018 at 11:43 PM UTC
I am quiet when everyone’s loud
all I want is to speak over the crowd
I am small in a world that’s incredibly tall
wanting to be something great and grand like all
I am weak while the world around me is strong
it’s hard to feel like I really do belong
I am different in ways I can’t yet describe
everyone’s the same as I live umong my own tribe
everyone can fly into the air with a leap
as I am stuck on the ground
I am the black sheep.
Dec 15, 2018
Dec 15, 2018 at 12:23 PM UTC
Tell me those
things I did,
did not, do.
Talk of me
as a thing
in the past.
Leave me there,
plucked or tossed,
left as detritus.
Then I shall
be nothing to
no one; -gone. *
Apr 29, 2017
Apr 29, 2017 at 10:02 PM UTC
#
Dear Older brother
You're never around
My Dear older brother
it's seemed you've dropped your crown
I've grown up knowing you merely by name
I didn't grow up with you
I haven't seen your bad days
Thou I do know somethings to be true
I know of a niece of mine
She a daughter of yours
Her name is Brianna
I still remember after all these years
She's kind and sweet
very loud and obnoxious
though you neglected her
She's always been quite cautious
You're the ghost of the family
The so called black sheep
Disappearing from existence
though nobody seemed to weep
In the past you were quite the rebel
You grew **** in pots
Shoved them high in the trees
But that was a terrible hiding spot
I heard father tell me
You were part of the wrong crowd
You became a well known drug dealer
Going around this old town
I called you awhile ago
To inform you grandma died
But you didn't know who i was
Don't worry about it I replied
Half the same blood
We hold in our bodies
But clearly nothing alike
We aren't carbon copies
I wish though sometimes within the night
That you could have been a real brother
And a real father to your daughter
Instead of a stranger like any other
But time passes like everything else
There is no point hoping for the impossible
So to my so called dear older brother
I hope you can care for somebody
If thats even possible
Nick
#
Aug 8, 2018
Aug 8, 2018 at 8:03 PM UTC
Martyr complexes running wild
My own fueling this escape
Ties are charred and crumbling
In their minds I am to blame.
Slave to the lender
Though owed so much
Is this strength
Or is it greed?
Weeping at their feet
Begging for love and acceptance
Invalidated and dismissed
I should have kept my distance.
I am not the Phoenix
Rising from the ashes
I am the flame
An unassuming figure of destruction.
Desperate for survival of spirit
Licking my wounded soul
Never enough to those I trust
Manipulations crease in the fold
Oct 27, 2017
Oct 27, 2017 at 4:07 AM UTC
Anybody who knows her
Understands she's not like the others
Head in the sky, feet on the ground
Detached when she speaks, cold she sounds,
But her heart is a warm place,
For those she lets in,
The select few see her distant but gleeful grin,
Aware she's different and that's alright,
Because this Nefelibata is always in flight
Head in the sky, feet on the ground
A nefelibata's mind knows no bounds.
Mar 23, 2017
Mar 23, 2017 at 7:26 AM UTC
with all these Black Sheep
from the bottom end
of the top 1 percent
in the new government
spewing lies without shame
we will have to rename
the White House
Feb 4, 2017
Feb 4, 2017 at 3:27 AM UTC
back from the brink
of blindly falling;
back alone again
in a crowded room
there is no bridge
over troubled waters,
no way to purge
vast oceans
when deep rivers foment
pitch black
swallowed by an insatiable sea
no good shepherd to gather
an abandoned black sheep
cast heedlessly away
from the fold
unbefriended
like a dogless bone
a stain on impeccable sublime
a hopeless wanderer
stalled on the brink
of a threshold lost in time
purge me from your poetry
so I won’t remember
the insatiable ache
of inerasable words
left unsaid
you lured me out
from the cold & darkness
to freeze my heart
in naked light of day
purge me from your poetry
like you spilled me
from your heart;
don’t come back here
to this slippery, lonely edge,
just to bid adieu
as if I didn't notice you were gone
purge me from your poetry
so I can accept without
sorrow's ache so deep;
in unbroken silence
a heart silent atones not pretense,
and yet,
the only lie you whispered was "friend"
November 2016 ... wild is the wind
Nov 9, 2016
Nov 9, 2016 at 7:32 PM UTC
I'll tell you as story,
She was different,
I'll tell you why,
She lost love and all hope,
She cries herself to sleep,
The heart can only beats,
To the hollow that it holds,
She doesn't have to cut herself,
Because the pain she feels are more permanent,
Like a disease slowly eating her up.
Let me tell you more,
She was surely different,
Her family was all fine,
Her parents are good,
They didn't have any money complications,
But she couldn't fit in,
Always a stranger to her own house,
A foreign place to which she calls home,
Telling her that she's just thinking too much,
And the problem was with herself.
I'm going to tell you more,
She was not like others,
She didn't cry or ask for help,
Not even for a little light for the day,
She held it all in,
Accepting all her hate for herself,
She expressed them in words that which is for no one to see,
She would lay wake on her bed all night thinking what was wrong,
Even when she sleeps; She was not free,
Her nightmares are equally worse.
I'll tell you her better part,
Or at least some part better,
She has her friends,
At one point she felt like she was in a group,
Like somehow there's a place that she could fit in,
But as time flies,
They started to know her,
And they didn't like it,
They started to hate,
Her so called friends would backstab her,
Even when she already has her back against the wall.
So there's nothing much to tell,
She just doesn't belong,
Being with her own mind,
Which she didn't understand herself,
Always trying to figure out what's wrong with her,
Looking out for the worst of everything.
-HIY
Aug 25, 2016
Aug 25, 2016 at 8:55 PM UTC
all the things that a mother does
a loving touch, a hand that heals
I wouldn't know what that is like
I wouldn't know how that feels
she is just another stranger
though, the vessel of my birth
she never did what a mother does
though, she put me on this earth
I felt a bond when I was young
but that bond faded away
these words only burn my tongue
"happy mother's day"
May 7, 2016
May 7, 2016 at 12:50 PM UTC
there’s a hole in my sole
that helps me feel the ground
wandering alone
this long and winding road
a black sheep
never sheds its wool
forever garnered unworthy to be
glibly cast off by the fold
a greater loss than ever be known
washed away like season’s rain
changing tides do steal away
castles made of sand
it’s a hard journey
to carry the weight of the load
the gravity of obscurity,
the potholes in the road
comes a time, stalled at crossroads,
it just don’t matter anymore;
a time to carry on, a time for letting go
a time to walk another mile
in these worn out shoes, alone
I’m more than you’ll never know
a body in a soul
I didn’t even want the heart you broke,
it’s yours to keep --
I finally found my real name,
shed this invisible skin;
I won’t be me
when you see me again
I'm leaving the invisible world
there's never a breathe
you can afford to waste
wandering alone again
this long and winding road...
wild is the wind © 3.15.2016
Mar 15, 2016
Mar 15, 2016 at 7:20 PM UTC
I'm the black sheep
I'm the outcast
And I'm the reason people don't come over to the house
I kick and I buck
I don't fall in line
Nothing I do is good enough for this family of mine
I once blended in
But then I got rejected
Slowly turning my life
In a different direction
I am the black sheep of my family of seven
I'm unique
Special
Distinctively Distinct
I am the peculiar one
The unusual one
The idiosyncrasy of the group
I am the daughter that can not be accepted
So I live in rejection
Oct 11, 2015
Oct 11, 2015 at 2:29 PM UTC
you shook my status as mere mortal,as you opened up Satan's portal, achieve true greatness
true power, the omnipotent godliness, begging the end when the end should begin
different yet accepted by the black sheep, and the wolf, pit against the weak
archetypal situation bleak,beware of what you dream for,entrails spread across the floor
you'll pray for death, when they all find out, the wicked darkness from the dragons mouth
now I live in the borderlands,blood and **** within the sand,Blood of every man
PERSONAL DEMONS BECOME COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS. irreverent irrelevance.on the fence
we've lost the keys to the kingdom. we must stop running in place, be the change you want
day dreams, must be a reality. sanity chosen inside the minds of the insane
being lost a perennial classic. you want them to see the little movie in your head
Christ posse, blue birds, and the doors is painted red
how do your dreams match up against this created reality you exist in now
the city of the dead, the cities have all burned down
Mar 30, 2015
Mar 30, 2015 at 4:20 AM UTC