#binge
rip my skin that clings
rebirth is not free of hurt
slip into beastly binge
all flowers need a little dirt
cradle what i can’t amend
can’t love but i can flirt
trace back all my steps
see what’s worth the work
Dec 7, 2025
Dec 7, 2025 at 9:49 AM UTC
Thirty four days of delusional bliss
Thirty four ways to greet the abyss
Thirty four shock waves, to the cruelest brain
Thirty four days of irreparable pain.
Oct 6, 2023
Oct 6, 2023 at 3:57 AM UTC
I binged today. Normally I'd say, "it's okay."
but the truth is that it's not
I wish it weren't so hard to stop, but I have a disorder
One that many people just don't understand.
It's like I have a hole I can't fill inside of me
one that keeps telling me I need to eat more
"You're not full yet, eat this, eat that!" My stomach tricks me
Until it doesn't and I feel the consequences of my actions.
If only I could stop myself.
The people who think it's as easy as telling yourself no are wrong
I spend money on food that I think will help me,
try to create a new habit called "eating healthy."
My disorder just laughs at this.
Because it knows what I'll do the next time I'm feeling anything
I'll go order a McDonalds number 3 large,
or go to the grocery and fill up my cart.
I'll get home and eat it too quickly til I can't move anymore
Then cry and feel angry that I'm too afraid to throw it up.
Jul 4, 2021
Jul 4, 2021 at 11:25 PM UTC
I am disappearing.
The bingeing of alcohol and food-
The disorders and the late nights.
They are devouring who I am.
How to cope
With this devastating revelation-
When everything I want to do
Will eventually **** me?
Apr 13, 2021
Apr 13, 2021 at 9:58 PM UTC
skipping rocks and skipping meals
magazines are teaching her to eat less, no matter how she feels
models on instagram, tiktok, youtube, and twitter
setting unrealistic expectations with their photoshop and glitter
in size two jeans, hoping to squeeze into ones
it looks like she's living the dream, but in reality, it's not a good one
1000 calories or less, isn't it nice?
she's living in an eating disorder nightmare disguised as paradise
she's losing weight, but not feeling as though she's won
she doesn't want this anymore, when will this be done?
she's dropping pounds, but feeling so shattered
compliments left and right, but it's hard to feel flattered
she's eating nothing at lunch until she's too light to function
the cafeteria starts to feel like a dungeon
feeling sick when she eats "too much"
kneeling in the bathroom using the toilet as a crutch
and then she overcompensates with exercise
when will the people around her start to hear her cries?
things are out of control, it's becoming too much for her to handle
her world feels as though it's starting to dismantle
her mental & physical health is deteriorating as she loses the weight
when will they see what it's doing to her? hopefully before it's too late
Sep 6, 2020
Sep 6, 2020 at 7:56 PM UTC
sunlight licks the kitchen floor,
but sunlight is delirious;
soft-brained, a half-wit,
deaf to the creak and slam of doors
blind to crumpled t-shirts
lacking tact, a clinging idiot
leaning on whitewashed walls
to read what's in the cat scratch
it doesn't understand
it wants to play, it dribbles
it pokes my thighs, it dimples
rolls around in the soil
shimmies in the grasses
brings back the scent of warmth
on its grimy cheeks
it's just a child,
it doesn't know I've lost you
can't smell the stomach acid
or register my shame
it tilts its head, i slap it
it was there, should remember
your soft skin, your name
i melt into my pillow
pull the shutters on my eyes
don't think about the water
or the *****
or the mauve congealing blood
forget about the battered sun
just wait for moon to rise.
Apr 24, 2020
Apr 24, 2020 at 2:54 PM UTC
Love Is Not Love
by Michael R. Burch
for Beth
Love is not love that never looked
within itself and questioned all,
curled up like a zygote in a ball,
throbbed, sobbed and shook.
(Or went on a binge at a nearby mall,
then would not cook.)
Love is not love that never winced,
then smiled, convinced
that soar’s the prerequisite of fall.
When all
its wounds and scars have been saline-rinsed,
where does Love find the wherewithal
to try again,
endeavor, when
all that it knows
is: O, because!
Published by The Neovictorian/Cochlea, The Deronda Review, Better Than Starbucks and Stremez (translated into Macedonian by Marija Girevska)
Keywords/Tags: Love, zygote, binge, mall, soar, fall, wounds, scars, tears, persistence, hope, fetal ball, sob, sobs, sobbing, shake, shaking, throb, throbbing, wince, wincing, smile, smiling, convinced, prerequisite, wherewithal, endeavor, just because
Mar 4, 2020
Mar 4, 2020 at 3:28 AM UTC
just keep eating until you throw up,
until you can;t,
until you cant feel anymore
Feb 17, 2020
Feb 17, 2020 at 7:31 PM UTC
is saving an antonym or a synonym for binge?
I want to believe I'm saving the best for last
but I'm only focused on how many bites I have left.
I consume faster than you can even think so
I like foods that require me to eat slowly,
the hardness of over toasted bread that *****
up your mouth when you bite into it, sour candies,
charcuterie boards that let me play with my food,
concentration on something other than the **** chewing.
the punchline is I've been dieting on and off for
three years but didn't start to lose weight until I stopped
I once kissed a girl who told me sometimes it
seemed like I was devouring her, I was
embarrassed at first until I realized
I'm just in a constant state of overindulgence -
tongue in my mouth
snacks in my sheets
I'm gnawing on you, gnawing on me,
still ******* starving
I have all the strain of being full but with none of the satisfaction.
Dec 20, 2019
Dec 20, 2019 at 8:40 PM UTC
Can’t feel anything
They drug me so I don’t cut
So I don’t **** myself
Won’t let me drink
Can’t get high
Can’t even **** myself
So instead
I ate... and ate...
Til my stomach hurt
Forcing it down
Feel the carbs increase my heart rate
Tiny bursts of mild pleasure
Turning into gluttonous lethargy
I guess I felt something
Nov 6, 2019
Nov 6, 2019 at 9:29 PM UTC
Escape ,
that's what I would do
when things would get tough.
I would binge,
dream, eat, read & scroll.
I would create another world
where I would live,
free to be.
The place I would
forget about my happenings,
but this was not reality.
I would procrastinate and escape,
but my reality would await
to cuff me away.
With every escape,
my reality would become
a struggle to face
To everyone I was living life
but was I?
For my body was anchored to this world
While my head flew to another
Then came a time
When I no longer wanted to hide
Even though I knew
I did not have the appetite
Because my reality had
become so hard to emotionally swallow
But there was no choice
but to face
Courage
Step by Step
Patience through it all
Change finally came across
And my reality had become a better place
Jul 24, 2019
Jul 24, 2019 at 6:38 PM UTC
She covers the bags under her eyes with a face mask
and her split ends with conditioner,
her bitten ****** nails with pure white polish,
and calls her binge eating "treating herself"
She tells herself it's self care --
pretends she's doing herself a favor
by covering up her pain
so she doesn't have to look it in the face.
But face masks peel off
and conditioner washes away,
those perfect white nails will chip and wear off,
and eating disorders were never a treat
in the first place.
Jun 8, 2019
Jun 8, 2019 at 5:21 PM UTC
Truly, I feel most peaceful when
My face is attempting to go
Through the floor, smushed up
Against the little fibers containing treasures from last week’s late night snack
Before being swept away by the tornado known as the vacuum cleaner
I somehow really do like it
My stomach being repelled with every breath gives me the mistaken belief
That there’s no need for my exercise routine or that
I won’t be regretting the chocolate hazelnut churros and chocolate ice cream I indulged in
“Just this once”
My new favorite three words
But wait,
It’s not new
Simple the same old story repeating itself again
And again
And again
Jun 7, 2019
Jun 7, 2019 at 6:50 PM UTC
you’re not an
episode
worth skipping.
you’re a
series
worth bingeing.
May 29, 2019
May 29, 2019 at 10:52 AM UTC
I have so many thoughts in my head
but none of them actually make sense.
Well, that's not true either.
But I can't figure out the order they go in.
I'm trying to be better.
To love myself harder.
I sing in the shower
and dance in the mirror
but only when its still fogged up.
I smile more in my pictures
and I don't delete the ones in my husband's phone.
I'm making little steps
to falling in love with myself
which is a lot of effort
when I can barely walk as it is.
I try not to hate myself when I break
and binge eat again
but its really hard not to
when I know that I won't eat again for a few days.
And I know its a problem,
and I don't know how to fix it.
I'm just trying to love myself through it.
May 24, 2019
May 24, 2019 at 1:43 AM UTC
You'd think 4 years would be enough
I longed for control and then I lost it
In this cruel cruel cycle
Binge
1000's of calories
guilt
shame
bloating
I feel control when my stomach hurts
I feel comfort
Restrict
10's of calories
euphoria
shame
grumbling
I feel control when my stomach rumbles
I feel beautiful
This cycle is meant to be a form of control
but here I am
bingeing and restricting
until I can purge this hurt
May 3, 2019
May 3, 2019 at 12:56 PM UTC
mining liquid ice, cream vanilla something
at dawn, sugar, fat, whipped smoke rising hope
better than hate at breakfast, face etched snarling
a circuit ****** roll and tub down slope
slippery, thumbed a feast of biscuit crumbs
off a plate, table and at feet. Arrived
at loathing a choir rabid, sings morning.
Apr 10, 2019
Apr 10, 2019 at 11:33 PM UTC
Order 90---
I am hesitant to get my tray.
I sit down, open the box
And breathe in fumes of decay.
You are greasy, thick, and full of fat---
Everything that disgusts me.
My body hates you.
My taste buds love you.
My stomach can't stand you.
I have to get rid of you.
I hover over the water
Seeing my reflection.
White porcelain haunts me
As I take a deep breath...
And let the sickness consume me.
Mar 25, 2019
Mar 25, 2019 at 4:48 PM UTC
I ate away the ****
I ate away the abuse.
I ate away the depression.
I tried eating away the pain.
But now I can't keep eating.
Because of the words that you threw around like it was nothing.
Fat. Disgusting. Ugly.
I'm not sad and beautiful.
Like the girls you write the stories about.
Because my self harm was my comfort food.
The way your self harm was the lack of food.
I punished my body everytime I climbed stairs.
And I knew I deserved it.
Except now at my lowest,
I can't afford a salad.
Or a donut to find the seratonin that I crave.
And the only thing I want to eat now
Is a bullet.
Feb 8, 2019
Feb 8, 2019 at 1:00 AM UTC
A groan
A moan
Head ready to burst
Pickkkkk it upppp, yessssshhh
The traitorous voice hisses within
Pikkkkk it up and alllll your worrrrries are gonnnnneeeeee
I try-TRY to resist
Six is more than enough!
This vicious cycle cannot continue!
Too late
I’m binging on another tub of ice cream for another hour of Netflix
And another splitting headache coming right up
Jan 1, 2019
Jan 1, 2019 at 7:55 PM UTC
I'm discouraged
and ashamed of myself
so I binge and binge until
I'm discouraged
and ashamed of myself.
Dec 4, 2018
Dec 4, 2018 at 9:39 AM UTC
~
Being ignored isn’t so bad she repeatedly whispers. As if to convince the pile of tissues and candy wrappers surrounding her.
~
Nov 23, 2018
Nov 23, 2018 at 11:42 AM UTC
It’s Odd...
I’ve been all over the couch
Munching on anything
Sour
Sweet
That gets
Within My line of sight
CRUNCH
MUNCH
Gone
But now,
Lying here
Strewn on the floor
Like a broken toy
I Feel
Strangely
At peace
Nov 21, 2018
Nov 21, 2018 at 11:34 PM UTC