#betrayel
Everyone has taste me dried
From the soul to local heart
Lick my wounds like sugar in cane
Tell me it's for my own sane
Give my wounds a healing juice
But so much of me is leaching out
Like imbecile how I am
Left with bone and dry eye
How can you taste me like
And tell me it's for my good
You spit on me and I am bad?
Like I used my mouth to drink
I did nothing but cut my self
I bleed and you licked it
Red tongue glossy lips
sharp eyes pupils big
dripping blood from the corner of your lips
Don't you dare tell me
I am helping you
Licking blood will stop the bleeding
I did convince but
The moment you start ******* from my wound
I realized what you are
It was a mistake
I grab a towel till you lick me dry
Now my heart is no longer beats
My soul is ceased to breath
And yet you say
It was me who cut my race
Apr 5
Apr 5, 2026 at 1:59 AM UTC
Last night I remembered your first play
when I brought a golden ticket
to declare to all that I'd watched your grace.
You were the light of that stage, really
more convinving than that cunning man on the phone
convinving me to lend him some dodgy loan.
The story was yours
heck I'd forgotten there were others apart of the town
We all stood up in your honour
and cheered in worth that matched your gaze
uplifted my spirits,
and so, I understood the world's craze.
But the second night
I came to watch your act, as my lover
you were as cold and unbothered as I ever knew.
And the audience had never been so quiet
while you stumbled your lines like a toddler
and made mockery of the stage
that i thought you once graced.
I left the theatre that night,
amazed by all your lies,
of your rehearsed words and decorated fancy.
I shall say this and it'll stick
Never shall I trust an actor again
or buy a ticket
to my own set-up shame!
Apr 1
Apr 1, 2026 at 1:01 PM UTC
You told me you had my back...
Now my shadow is still behind me,
And where on earth are you?
Feb 9, 2020
Feb 9, 2020 at 3:33 PM UTC
Love has come and gone
The trust is fleeting
Like blossoms
On a tree
How can I tell witch is
Loving fact
Or hurtful lie
When you betray
Our love
I am like seasons
I come in phases
And I know that I will find
Another in the spring
Sorry.
Most
move
on.
Aug 31, 2019
Aug 31, 2019 at 10:28 PM UTC
You swept me out to sea,
I followed you willingly.
Then you threw my heart onto the rocks
So the fragments washed away from my grasp.
I couldn’t find myself again,
Piece my heart back; mend.
Yes, I saw the light, no, I did not take caution
But it was your dry shores that kept me
Strewn for so long, they watched
As my ship corroded in wait
Of help from your imaginary inhabitant.
You are the deceiving lighthouse
I should have stayed away from your edge.
But your beam pulled me in
A warning sign in the disguise of a friend.
May 12, 2019
May 12, 2019 at 8:45 PM UTC
I know it seems insane
When you think of all those who betrayed
It’s like a sip of hot tar
With a pinch of toxic air
That scratches at the back of your throat
And pulls out the molten lungs in folds
No memory so bitter can be casually erased
Only time heals the bruised in pain
Jun 21, 2018
Jun 21, 2018 at 11:54 AM UTC
I know this blue
It is old
Maybe ancient
Changing shape but still the same
I know these scars
They are heavy with memory
And cold from shame
How many life times have we done this?
How long have I been bleeding
And how energetic you always are
I am empty hands
I am all screams silent and aching
I the fool, all aglow with love
Happily being walked across
Accepting pain that I am always,
Always too young to process
and forever too old to cry about
I am a pleasure best invisible
And it’s best I keep my joy to me
Less your hug becomes the squeezing
Becomes the cutting off of oxygen
Becomes the death nearly as cold as the spaces you have for me
Why don’t you stay away
So I can remember who I am
Feb 6, 2018
Feb 6, 2018 at 11:08 PM UTC
*I am a bad person
I don't belong here
I never did
Don't you see
I'm a nothing
A nobody
An emo piece of trash
That should never have existed
I get called ****
I get called fat
And yet
I won't eat
My body won't let me
And it hurts
4 days
4 days with nothing
4 long days with crying
4 days telling myself I should go
4 days telling myself
You all would be better off
If I wasn't here
You would be
And he tried to stop me
Break downs
Not eating
Cutting
I thought I was doing good
But the cycle goes on and on
And he was the only one to notice
I hide behind a fake mask
So none of you will worry
But what do I get
I play mad so you won't see I'm sad
I play happy so you won't see I'm tired
I get blocked
I get called names
And worst of all
I thought I was getting better
But I broke
So have fun
And I'll have fun as me
And my blocked life*
Nov 1, 2017
Nov 1, 2017 at 8:42 PM UTC
One drop
and then another
rolling down dusty cracks in a windowpane;
as transparent as the clouds.
Here they fall, whispering widows
traces as substantial
as the autumn leaves
when the wind whimpers,
as substantial as your smile
when I'm not looking.
The drops simmer on,
down the desert of expression
fall down down down
and I will
make sure to look the other way.
Feb 19, 2017
Feb 19, 2017 at 4:18 PM UTC
Just like the flow of a thought
Our story coherently played out
Each event like an intention ought
To float on a wave of doubt
Crashing on the shore of memory
It was foamy and filled with greenery
And the birds did feed on its nutrition
And words written in the sand, destruction
Of very moments that were sweet
Now washed clean as a sheet
May 3, 2016
May 3, 2016 at 2:55 PM UTC
The devil wiggles
Your tongue
And spits lies
Like the fire
Of a thousand suns
Feb 21, 2016
Feb 21, 2016 at 4:37 PM UTC
She is a pearl, not fully grown yet.
She hides in her shell away from the predators that only want to rob her of herself.
Over the years she grows, she adapts to the world around her because she knows that once she is done growing she will be something beautiful.
She plays show and tell with the tales of her young depression, the solitary game of hide of seek that she wanted so badly to win but she could never find herself.
The only game she ever wins is the mind game that no one other than herself can figure out.
She is awarded champion for making it into high school, the hell years of her life.
She did it, she made it this far,
And now everyone and everything are at her throat trying to drown her in her self doubt and the misery that a waits when she comes up for air.
She holds her trophy high as if it was supposed to be a beaken of hope repeating to herself "I can do it".
She questions her heart, like her heart is the one teasing her with happiness but we all know it isn't.
She tries so hard to hide herself from everyone who could potentially cause her harm but its impossible, her shell is cracked and everyone has found the opportunity to try to break in.
Her insecurities are scars, heart breaks are bruises, betrayel shows as broken bones, dishonesty are missing teeth for each person who has ever walked out of her life.
...
She plays a game of show and tell with her young depression, like she can point to each scar and say "I was fat", each bruise and repeat "he left me for her", each broken bone, each tooth and her tears will tell you the rest.
She will walk over to her trophy case and sigh because she knows it doesn't give her hope, its just proof showing she could withstand breaking infront of everyone for years.
She is a pearl who grew up the wrong way, she will never be perfect.
She will have dents and cracks and she won't be as strong as she was supposed to be.
But that doesn't matter because only beautiful people show their flaws,
She is still everything beautiful to me.
Jan 13, 2016
Jan 13, 2016 at 10:55 AM UTC
Anya sings words I would
rather she have not spoken
and decimates what little remained
between us all.
He looks to me and I
pointblank-sawnoffshotgun refuse
to meet sight of sapphire sky eyes
now too singing along
to her song.
My mother always said
you were two sides of the same paper
and you will both slice me the same.
But scissors always win;
laceration's chorus croons to all.
Origami smiles
so carefully cultivated as
I kindle our final swansong,
a celebration in flames -
simultaneous ignition of
friends to lovers
and that irrevocable rendering; razing
lovers to ash.
Jul 15, 2015
Jul 15, 2015 at 10:57 AM UTC
And as he leaves me with his words of wisdom
His blessing
I am expelling every sound he utters away from myself
I flinch from his touch
A pat on the back is like acid on my skin
In his presence I am forced to tape myself up
Whether it is to keep myself from exploding or from falling apart I still don't know
But there are times when my pieces begin to shake and quiver so violently that I start to leak and a storm rages in my head while the rain escapes through my eyes
It is in that moment that I scream at him to leave, without making a sound
And it scares me that he knows what I look like naked
because he has stared at women with my same body on the internet and has drooled over the same curves and lumps that I have
And it scares me how he can sound so sane. So sane that he convinces himself that he is stable
And it scares me that no one but me and my mother will ever truly understand how distorted his thought process is
All this fear and anger sit, rotting inside my stomach and at the center of the mass of hate, there is a spot of sadness for the good dad that left when I began to understand the things a young child should not be able to understand
May 21, 2015
May 21, 2015 at 4:37 PM UTC