#assualt
The burgundy lighting
Is oh so exciting
I'm lush and inviting
For all to see
My body is moving
The dance Im resuming
Cigarette smoke is pluming
Look at me
I dance for hours
Until early hours
For higher powers
Whom pay for me
To leech off my fleet and to preach on deciet to forgive or forget I don't know
The threat is consuming
You hate me? Well sue me
I don't give a **** about what you please
If you were halfway decent
I'd let you get even
In light of the recent events
But I'm just a body
Meat to be discarded
I am not your Bunny
And I am not Holly
May 23, 2025
May 23, 2025 at 3:39 PM UTC
April
The month you died
The month I tried
The month he lied
The month I cried
Death, a funeral, assault, my birth
How can I celebrate my worth,
when I walk campus and all I see
Is you in the trees, his whisper in the breeze
and the blue ribbons that line the paths and cause my heart to freeze
Awareness month, it's meant to heal, to mend,
Instead, it breaks me, on and on and on and on, without end.
The feelings I bury that rise and surge,
In April’s light, they scream, they converge.
Spring unfurls, its colors bold,
Yet all I feel is winter’s hold
Your fading pulse, your fragile frame,
His breath that stains my cheek with shame.
The world sees blooms, the grass revived,
The frost undone, the earth alive.
But I see you, and him, entwined
Two ghosts that April’s cruelty binds.
I cannot weigh your souls as one:
You, my mother, a radiant sun,
Taken too soon, your warmth now gone.
Him, a monster, whose shadow clings,
A curse that festers, bites, and stings.
You both once held me, worlds apart
One with love that filled my heart,
The other with a twisted art.
One I grieve, a loss too deep,
The other I flee, even in sleep.
Your absence haunts my dreams with pain,
A love I’ll never hold again.
His presence stalks my nights with fear,
A specter I pray won’t reappear.
April, you break me, year by year,
With memories that I cannot clear.
Yet still I rise, though scarred, to claim
A life beyond this month of shame.
Apr 16, 2025
Apr 16, 2025 at 5:09 PM UTC
Everytime you
Whispered
In her ear
The car swerved
Each time
You slid
Your fingers
Over her shoulder
I grew unnerved
You looked
At me
And said
Your fantasy
Was between us
I never hated you more than then
She sobbed
I cussed
I hope
Someday
You know how it feels
To want to
**** a man
And drive away
Aug 13, 2021
Aug 13, 2021 at 8:06 PM UTC
Tried to wash the scars embedded on me
Submerged the voices that left me haunted
Drowned the visions from the tall red oak tree
Remembering when you asked to “flaunt it”
I tried to scream, but choked on nonsense words
Your malevolent laughs replays in my mind
No evidence, but me and the blue birds
How hard is it for one to just be kind?
You left me with pain, you left me to cry
I can never get my innocence back
Yet, I still love you, but I don’t know why
I may not remember all that happened,
But my body does, my body remembers it all
May 5, 2020
May 5, 2020 at 3:09 PM UTC
Diving into my insecurities,
Replaying the same mistakes
Unfolding memories from the deepest crease,
Mesmerizing the unforgettable words
Reminiscing over faint situations
Tears trembling down my face,
A wave of nerves tip toe down my spine,
Tearing my mind into pieces
Thoughts are scattering around,
Blemishing the good thoughts
Peeling away the flesh of my sanity,
Revealing layers of my anxiety
Losing sight of what’s right
A misunderstanding of my identity,
A willingness to be distant
From the people I love dearly
Nov 15, 2018
Nov 15, 2018 at 8:15 AM UTC
I know it's hard for you.
I know you try but you can't possibly understand what it's like to have the weight of someone else hold you down and pull consent from your lips like the lyrics of their favorite song.
I sat in the shower until my skin itched and burned a smoldering red and the water ran cold because all I wanted was to feel CLEAN again.
I packed up everything I loved and drove hundreds of miles to feel SAFE again.
I will not lie to you...... both of those things have yet to happen.
And I know it's hard for you.
Because you are strong and people believe what you say.
You have never had to defend your innocence and purity.
You never had to defend what you were wearing. Even to bed.
So I understand what you mean when you tell me it gets better.
But YOU don't actually know this.
You don't know what it's like to wake up every night from the same nightmare.
Sweating and crying because for some reason yo think he's still there.
The weight of his body holding you down and drawing consent from your lips like his favorite song.
I know it's hard for you.
But have you ever considered that it's harder for me?
Nov 14, 2017
Nov 14, 2017 at 9:20 PM UTC
I apologized
Because I thought
Thats what you wanted to hear
I laid
My life
In front of you
And told you
To do as you pleased
I took the blame
For what you did
Instead of the help
I needed so desperately
You pushed me
Into the grave
You had dug for yourself
And I buried myself
Willingly
Sep 24, 2017
Sep 24, 2017 at 10:44 PM UTC
It is this,
this sitting here
in the tub,
this being here,
this getting wet,
and he having done
what he did,
and the inability
to wash him away,
his touch,
the feel of him,
the smell of his
being near,
and in,
and on,
and it is this
sitting here,
and looking
at the water,
and the wetness of skin,
and him,
and him,
and me,
the she,
the her,
the undone,
the one,
this is it,
wet,
and touched,
and unable to get
the head
around him,
and he,
and it,
and ****
Apr 13, 2016
Apr 13, 2016 at 4:13 AM UTC
Please don't touch me, sir
I know you mean no harm
No, you cant hold my hand
Or stop this car
Please don't love me, sir
I know it doesn't look hard
But when you take away my clothes
You'll see the scars
You took the parts of me
That weren't all that pretty
And you turned them into a damaged city
You tore away my flesh piece by piece
And I walked home alone
In a damaged city
Sep 5, 2015
Sep 5, 2015 at 10:47 PM UTC