April
The month you died
The month I tried
The month he lied
The month I cried
Death, a funeral, assault, my birth
How can I celebrate my worth,
when I walk campus and all I see
Is you in the trees, his whisper in the breeze
and the blue ribbons that line the paths and cause my heart to freeze
Awareness month, it's meant to heal, to mend,
Instead, it breaks me, on and on and on and on, without end.
The feelings I bury that rise and surge,
In April’s light, they scream, they converge.
Spring unfurls, its colors bold,
Yet all I feel is winter’s hold
Your fading pulse, your fragile frame,
His breath that stains my cheek with shame.
The world sees blooms, the grass revived,
The frost undone, the earth alive.
But I see you, and him, entwined
Two ghosts that April’s cruelty binds.
I cannot weigh your souls as one:
You, my mother, a radiant sun,
Taken too soon, your warmth now gone.
Him, a monster, whose shadow clings,
A curse that festers, bites, and stings.
You both once held me, worlds apart
One with love that filled my heart,
The other with a twisted art.
One I grieve, a loss too deep,
The other I flee, even in sleep.
Your absence haunts my dreams with pain,
A love I’ll never hold again.
His presence stalks my nights with fear,
A specter I pray won’t reappear.
April, you break me, year by year,
With memories that I cannot clear.
Yet still I rise, though scarred, to claim
A life beyond this month of shame.
Apr 16, 2025
Apr 16, 2025 at 5:09 PM UTC
you’ve stolen so much of my soul,
i’m still trying to remember who i was
May 2, 2019
May 2, 2019 at 7:21 PM UTC
kisses like the softest
n
o t
e
s
off grand piano
k
e y
s
play my foolish heart
like your piano
p l e a
s
e
Apr 25, 2019
Apr 25, 2019 at 9:42 PM UTC
the last thing I tasted
was chocolate chip cookies
as you pulled away
giggling
and leaving my lips
tingling
Apr 25, 2019
Apr 25, 2019 at 9:41 PM UTC
I want to lie
with my legs
entangled in yours,
I want to live
with my heart
in sync with yours,
I want to die
with my hands
entwined in yours..
I am
and have always
been yours.
Apr 25, 2019
Apr 25, 2019 at 9:40 PM UTC
4-19-18
a date i shall never forget
you left me all alone
to leave my pillows wet,
my heart aches more and more
as each day has slowly gone by
i don't know how to get through the day
trying not to cry,
i feel as if i'm an orphan,
not a single soul for me to hold,
all alone in the world,
no new stories left to behold
Apr 25, 2019
Apr 25, 2019 at 9:28 PM UTC
you said you loved me
i said it back.
you said you needed me
i was grateful to hear that.
you said you were mine
and i said i am yours.
you said forever
and i said forever more.
you said you didn’t want to lose me
and i was content
but then you disappeared
leaving my tears alone with nowhere to vent.
you blamed it on the timing
i didn’t agree.
you blamed it on yourself
and i blamed it on me.
did i not love you enough?
were my hugs and kisses too flat?
i said i love you.
but you didn’t say it back.
Apr 15, 2019
Apr 15, 2019 at 4:53 PM UTC
I really can't explain it
It's all a little insane to me
You leave my heart confused
Unsure if I really like you
I don't know how this happened ?
But I have these feelings for you
I just hope you have them too
I've been trying to let it go
Like maybe it will go away
but these butterflies I can't ignore
My heart skip a beat when I'm round you your beautiful, kind and sweet
Your everything that I need in a man
Your everything
I wanna just be yours
Apr 8, 2019
Apr 8, 2019 at 12:49 PM UTC
check
check
check again
slide
unlock
refresh
clear the history
pretend I never said that.
Wow I’m stupid I
Maybe I’m not the stupid one, maybe it’s you
*******
With your ridiculous face and squiggly hair
how you make me feel things and draw me in
with interlocking fingers and subtle touches.
I can’t I can’t I can’t
my anger is coming out sweet as honey
too gentle for my vicious state I’m stuck in.
God **** you.
I check every form of social networking
waiting for you to give me a sign
a little wave.
Instead I get a read receipt.
God **** you.
God **** the four months we were glued to each other
by force at first, then by choice.
And now a different scenario and a different she
who is much prettier than me
who I’d really like to see
and tell her how lucky someone is
to look into your eyes, even for one dance.
I know it’s unreasonable of me to have such feelings for someone so opposite.
But really we’re quite the same
looking for something else to blame
for every ounce of pain you make me feel
and you think that I’m lame.
Apr 8, 2019
Apr 8, 2019 at 12:49 PM UTC