#analyze
Think outside of the box for a second
Just one, please
Forget all about what you know, want, feel
Look at me, us with no power, knowledge about any of this
He cares, he asks, he's looking for you, he wants you
But "just as friends"
He fights, he wishes, he's doing all he can to stay with you
But "just as friends"
I sit, I cry, I lock myself in a cage up in the sky
I wait, I cry again, I hope for everything to end
Therapy, tears, anxiety, is all I think
When you just sit and talk to him
You know it hurts me
You wish for everyone to be ok
Yet you always say "it's not that way"
I swear to you he's ***
But it hurts, and I cry
And I never fall back from the sky
Because I always feel
That "what if" running through my veins
It's evil, it's dark, it makes me do things
I never wish I've done
So please, one second
You don't know me, him, us
You look, you analyze everything
From the outside of the box
Nov 20, 2024
Nov 20, 2024 at 2:03 AM UTC
Crazy, crazy, crazy.
It is tiring trying to tackle this Q stuff,
From a first person perspective.
All this far out quasi side-history,
Drenched in hate of every kind.
Divisive as all hell,
A kind of game within itself
To distance us from each other more
Rather than bring us close.
Together we stand, divided we fall
In on ourselves as like
A house of cards
Mar 6, 2024
Mar 6, 2024 at 2:56 AM UTC
I am having hard time accepting truth
No clue how to survive
World without your presence Is not a world
In which I long to be alive
No one cares the way you did
Space in heart nothing can fill
Numb myself with substances
Sorrow impossible to ****
No hope for better tomorrows
Barely make it through today
Room shrinking with each breath
Choke on each word I try to say
Pass the time getting high as I can
An attempt to avoid dwelling on greif
Temporary band-aid to cover wound
Relief always too brief
Move only when necessary
Every step exhausts my feet
When walking I slowly trudge forward
As if legs are stuck in concrete
Around others maintain composure
Can even manage to smile
Inside back of my mind pain throbs
Prowling all the while
And I bottle up tears within
My eyes never stay dry for long
For my effort is ever in vain
Failing to be stable and strong
This is more difficult than I ever imagined
Nightmare manifested in one blink
Depth of my agony cannot be captured
In range of sound or intricacies of ink
Box of memories stored in brain
Mustering courage to close
Replay past moments until my head spins
Speeding in circles train of thought goes
Is there end to the madness I feel?
Chaos warps perception into knots
Drive myself crazy examining events
Can't quite connect the dots
Feb 16, 2023
Feb 16, 2023 at 12:22 AM UTC
I just wanna feel something, someone
not just my days all being blended into one
depression, investments, they’re all up
actually, they swallow me up
but in the stomach of existential dread
I feel freer in my head without all these man-made structures
they want to let my rivers run red and leave me to the vultures
it's the culture we live in, who do we reprimand?
who would understand? take me back to ancestral land
devoted to my our sacred place among the ecosystem not trying to oversee them
we are not God, we are not omnipotent
to the creator, we are nothing more than a rodent
which fills its niche, which helps another fill theirs
we are not individuals in a vacuum but complex affairs
Oct 20, 2021
Oct 20, 2021 at 12:25 PM UTC
Collecting information and writing it down in a journal
People cross by in fear or interest
a human as analytical as a robot and emotional as a puppy
Strange one
Freak
Perfect
Writing it down, each move
Every behavior
Then I get up
ignoring complaints and compliments
And I help them all
Mar 23, 2021
Mar 23, 2021 at 9:54 PM UTC
it's a cosmic correction
to live a little slower-
be a little closer,
live where you are,
take care of your home-
and your home's home.
To look into each others' eyes-
no need to fake a smile
can't see it anyway.
You can't mask the tears
or the smize
what if it's a hyper alteration
to change course
...
Nov 25, 2020
Nov 25, 2020 at 2:30 PM UTC
Anyone’s a phoenix
Until they lose
Their fire
In the ashes
Of who they were
Feb 1, 2019
Feb 1, 2019 at 1:37 PM UTC
Analyze,
Reanalyze
don't stop.
Everything has changed
till you figure it out.
Feb 27, 2018
Feb 27, 2018 at 12:52 PM UTC
find my poems
in a hundred years
and analyze them
as though they are written
in a foreign language
from a foreign time
full of foreign ideas
and words
analyze the way i say
i'm sad
"the darkness outside
spills into my empty room
on a body
wracked with sorrow
but too proud to cry"
analyze the idea
that everything i write
means something else
and i am not just
too lazy for prose
interpret me needing to talk
as me creating allusions
say to my face that when i said
"i'm happy"
it was sarcastic irony that reflected
my inner turmoil
analyze my poem
that is free therapy
to mean something
i wrote just for you
it speaks to you because
my word choice
was simple
every day
it speaks to you because
my alliteration is
totally
on purpose
it speaks to you because
literary terms
speak to you
more than some words
that meant
"i'm sad"
analyze me
and look past my struggles
that don't fit your agenda
analyze me
i am poetry
my soul is poured out
in each of these lines
each letter is me
so analyze me
like one of your french girls
make me beautiful
make me something that is
not
desperate poetry
make me you
Oct 17, 2017
Oct 17, 2017 at 10:11 AM UTC
A child that grows up being bullied, even by teachers, family;
That becomes a tween who is told to keep his thoughts and emotions to himself, or go to a hospital;
That becomes a teenager that is told to let go of people and emotions from just recent past;
That becomes a late teen that is told he is responsible for everything that he is going through all in his own self, with no support for his human nature;
That becomes a young adult whom is consistently abandoned because of the pain, trauma and despair he is solely seeking compassion because of;
Becomes a man who appears to be a warrior like machine. Powerful in demenour face to face, with words that will shine light on societies hidden ignorance; also capable of trumping others complacency of injustice in perception, and ending their crusade of fallacy towards disregarding others simple human rights. This man can make a crowd shake with his truth, that has been experienced far from feeble. They can carry a lie for years and have it crushed like an egg when they speak it to him; a intuitive reverse psychologist; vividly fluent in ethical philosophy, cannot be deceived.
Even jigsaw placed a restraining order, and turned himself in to escape.
God may have given him the curse, so he could show the world it could become a blessing.
But the most solid thing that this man becomes, after all the damage leaves him permanently disturbed;
This man becomes sorry.
No one sees him cry.
No more tears for himself;
The world has caused him a functional dysfunction; his only way to stop sudden confusion, is to make a paradox in his head about the situation, and solve it.
His heart wears titanium armour. None the less, does not cry.
His mind is quite damadged,
and no one knows why.
Yet they demonized a child, from the age of five.
And now he is unstoppable; still on the quest the universe had given his hand.
He's a transcendental man.
And he's sorry.
Jul 10, 2017
Jul 10, 2017 at 11:59 AM UTC
Silver skin and copper veins
Rusty joints and beta brains
No one thought, I.E. Me
Would get to FEEL differently
My mouth could say the functions
Every thing from meaning to time
To the way airplanes mimic birds
But never could it find those words
And yet with your presence
Your file hidden and bound
A corruption in my databanks
404 Not Found.
I can name you every color
In the spectrum of the light
I cannot seem to find a name
In the coloring of your eye
I cannot name your existence
It's far different than I
I am but a robot
And you are something I cannot describe
How can you compute
Even more than me
Yet still have the essence
To make you want to BE
What ARE you?
What have you done?
You've made me feel frightened
Of what I've become
I know I am not a robot
But that is how I think
So with this Will I have installed
What will become of Me?
Apr 5, 2017
Apr 5, 2017 at 11:05 AM UTC
I am afraid to imagine
I don't know what
could make me happier
to shake the hand of
a new found friendship
to really get to know someone
talk for a while
never judge by looks
or just a pretty smile
what really matters is
whom we find inside
we have to see whats there
we might be surprised of the
friendships we could share
we have to analyze, ask questions
and take the time to get to know them
yet it's not always easy to open up
never judge their book by its cover
don't over look the qualities
that looks can sometimes hide
Sep 21, 2016
Sep 21, 2016 at 2:26 AM UTC
vast vivid wilderness
analyze politicians mind
hypocrites world dies in lies
moral devolution,hiding in white
lose of mind,gravity inside
zero nothing, sometime
1 is a separate thing
a velvet plaything
breathing in the fumes
lobotomized muse
trying to do what is right
don't forget, never forget
to start walking in the grey
memories they slowly fade
from this harsh reality
exist inside, resist tide
inside you'll see it die
justify your wicked mind
the eyes torture tantalize
3 rings, out in time
bombarding mind
find it not linear time
time line separate thing
velvet plaything
treated like lobotomized dogs
vast vivid life of pain
wires forced into my brain
trying to do what is right
don't forget, never forget
to start walking in the grey
memories they slowly fade
from this harsh reality
exist inside, resist tide
inside you'll see it die
justify your wicked mind
Oct 5, 2015
Oct 5, 2015 at 3:39 PM UTC
By Arcassin Burnham
Rivers flowing from your eyes,
Kept making streams,
(I don't want to see this again)
One leg at a time each day,
Is Just what it seems,
(I don't want to see this again)
I made my mark and,
You chose your exit,
(I don't want to see this again)
Peach orchids and sand,
Was a promise , you dreamt it,
(I don't want to see this again)
I'm blind from all the deceit,
All of the lies,
Still sober from the things I use to deal with,
I realize,
You hurt me so bad,
But too bad,
I just packed,
I'm not sad,
Or tingled up in your ties,
But the fly got away from the web just in time,
The devil gave a contract,
And in blood,
You just signed,
Who are you really?
A careless soul,
With no soul,
What are you?
A demon in disguise,
Let it unfold.
Jun 3, 2015
Jun 3, 2015 at 12:02 AM UTC
Call me your *****
And I'll call you my muse,
Rip the seams off my flesh,
So I be free from the rules,
Human limitations are all milk and honey,
A pig mask latch on a car crash dummy,
And I'm thrashing thoughts,
Because of you I'm a mess,
The pyres of loves,
Sparked a lot of buzz,
In a bag of tattered memories,
Gnawed upon by Louisiana bugs,
I'm a would be killer with a open book of matches,
But will I draw the first flame,
To turn these pictures into ashes?
Or will I still be that lover,
That nailed a stop sign on his chest,
Hanged himself on every question mark,
That you sent to me direct,
See I'm no blind fruit rooting from your garden,
I'm just that dummy who believed you never leave me hollow hearted,
Mar 29, 2015
Mar 29, 2015 at 8:29 PM UTC
**** you society
For making people believe
That there is a certain way to live and breath
Everyone is the same, there is no variety
You outcast those for rioting
And living their life defiantly
What gives you the right to judge me
You are not god almighty
You are the reason for my anxiety
And loss of sobriety
And visits to the psychiatry
But I stand in protest finally
I will no longer sit quietly
And let you decide unjustifiably
What I should be
Your judgment makes people feel insecure
Why do you believe that everyone has to be similar
Why don't you understand that no one is perfect
Why do I have to conform to your culture to earn respect
Why is money the only way to achieve success
Every person lives just like the next
This makes me feel so depressed
**** you, I chose to be unique
I refuse to live a life that's boring and bleak
My life does not need to be critiqued
Your approval will not bring relief
Happiness is key
I will live happy and free
Aug 3, 2014
Aug 3, 2014 at 12:27 AM UTC
An over-analytic,
overbearing,
misguided idiot.
That about sums it up.
May 29, 2014
May 29, 2014 at 1:04 AM UTC
Back before the hurt
I thought
I analyzed it all
and it had all made perfect sense
I was thinking it could not fail me
Now the damage is done,
thinking becoming no longer an option
No thoughts
No words
I was thinking
before
I do not think
anymore
May 8, 2014
May 8, 2014 at 3:41 PM UTC