#admitting
Somewhere drifting off my
Dreams it seems of mind
A sense of reality out of touch
To touch I find mind
A sense of love of gay
For which I always lived
A for and loved much
A chance of time I lost
What known now not have
I lift out of knowing what luck
Upon such shucks as
To know this to past
I love found after all
To know life last.
Apr 5, 2024
Apr 5, 2024 at 6:26 AM UTC
im scared
im scared that one day our long embraces will evolve to just a faint smile
im scared that one day we will merely wave when we see each other
im scared that one day we wont even wave
we might just glance at each other
not so long ago, we spent every waking minute together
not so long ago, i laid in your bed and laughed all night with you
not so long ago, we dreaded for the time i had to go home
not so long ago, we told everything to each other
not so long ago, we always had something to talk about
not so long ago, we would go on long walks just because
not so long ago, we would sneak off at 2 AM to watch the stars
not so long ago, we laid on my shed roof in the middle of the night
just to watch the sky and talk
not so long ago, we laid on your kitchen floor rolling in laughter
not so long ago, we cried in each others arms
not so long ago, we composed hilarious songs in your room just to belt them out so that your dad would hear how dumb we were
not so long ago, we laid together and watched the fault in our stars
not so long ago we say
but it seems so long ago
it seems like a distant memory
Nov 2, 2020
Nov 2, 2020 at 10:52 AM UTC
thanks to the basketful of maybe's
i collected
when we were one
it would seem
i'd be well equipped to deal
with the next one's indecisiveness
oh well.
Feb 20, 2019
Feb 20, 2019 at 2:43 PM UTC
i can write
a thousand pretty things
yet still be left
with a thousand pretty
nothings.
Dec 17, 2018
Dec 17, 2018 at 8:41 PM UTC
The fire building inside
Should cause an alarm
But no one sees
Nor feels the heat
It rises and grows
As no one listens
Then finally you'll hear
There she blows
May 10, 2018
May 10, 2018 at 12:29 AM UTC
I've always seen you.
Standing in the hallways,
Talking with your friends.
And I wanted the moment to stay.
I've always liked you,
Your hair and face and smile,
The way you are,
The way you live and love all the while.
I'll never be able to admit it,
It's too much to bear,
I'm afraid that if I confess,
All my love will go somewhere.
So I'm content with watching,
A quiet background figure,
And maybe, just maybe,
You'll see me over there.
Nov 29, 2017
Nov 29, 2017 at 12:09 PM UTC
would you tell me i'm your lover
that i'm running in your dreams?
would you admit that i'm your baby
that i'm all that you need?
z.f.
Jul 21, 2017
Jul 21, 2017 at 5:43 PM UTC
Radioactive ammunition painfully entering
My space that is barely big enough to breathe, I scream
"Reality anyone probably experiences"
And it justifies the minimization of my trauma while the
Real answers plead escape
From the corners of my soul
Leaving me decomposing slowly in a silent anguish as
Repeating abuse provokes emotionlessness
When will these flashbacks cease to live within me? This
Repressed anger precedes exhaustion
If only I could break through the dams which hold my suffering and
Release all pain engulfing
My lungs and plaguing my hindered consciousness and
I wish I could just say it
But
When I think of him
I cannot
breathe
Diminished by my own
fear and
shame
I've lost my voice
once more
So I'll try to spell it out for you
Jul 10, 2017
Jul 10, 2017 at 4:23 PM UTC
I've always tried to take life by the reins;
It's always been my instinctive reaction,
That if demons knocked upon my door,
I'd sprint towards distraction.
And if they dragged me down to hell,
I'd stare Satan straight in the face.
I'd square up to the beast, flip the bird to defeat,
I'd say **** you, Satan! Not today!"
But sometimes your courage fails you,
Sometimes your legs get sore,
You want to punch and kick and run like hell,
But sometimes you can't fight any more.
No human can run forever,
But demon's can and they'll never quit.
But the only thing harder than being unwell,
Is finding the strength to admit it.
Well, here goes nothing.
May 9, 2017
May 9, 2017 at 7:03 PM UTC
"Stop being so evil!"
But isn't it yourself who's actually evil?
Think back
Not admitting can be worse than being just evil.....
Mar 14, 2017
Mar 14, 2017 at 7:14 PM UTC
I'm in a quiet library pondering
What would happen if I told her how I felt
I look around to see her wandering
If I tell her, she might make my heart melt
I don't want to go heart broken
I want my heart to sing
Love isn't as easy as finding a token
It's as hard as finding a ring
Jul 17, 2015
Jul 17, 2015 at 12:33 AM UTC
I’m working on saying what I feel
when I feel it
rather than when it’s too late
the harm’s already been caused
and the ones I love
are already gone.
I’m working on admitting to hurt
that others ground into me
rather taking it over and over again
while you can’t know what’s wrong
or ever notice your simple misuse
of word and clause.
I’m working on being proud
of galaxies I have to offer
rather than holding in ideas
and little pieces of myself
that weren’t meant to be pushed
so far from everything
just sitting on a shelf.
I’m working on it, I promise,
but for now I’ll give you this
so you will know to hold on
and please
don’t give up
on what I can be.
For all that's wrong,
wait for me.
Jan 15, 2015
Jan 15, 2015 at 6:24 PM UTC
List my choices.
Even those,
I've in haste chosen.
Then won't you?
Show me,
My many imperfections?
Please, please,
Force my eyes open!
Play these.
I'll remember...
Ask me,.. Why?
I'm so rotten.
If you bait me,
maybe...
I will speak?
I'll come clean?
It might be,
Forever,
My Confession
Sep 30, 2014
Sep 30, 2014 at 1:36 AM UTC