There are no words to describe all the pain I fknow that's not l inside.
I'm falling deeper into myself and it's getting harder to hide.

The daily facade of fake smiles and cheer,
Will soon be replaced by overwhelming grief and fear.

I tried to be strong for as long as I could,
But keeping it all in has taken it's toll, as I knew it would.

I feel like there's no end to this misery in sight,
Almost been 10 years now, I'm losing my will to fight.

That day from hell left everyone involved physically, mentally and emotionally scarred.
But the loss of one so young and dear to us all, left this entire family forever marred.

I feel my mind slipping a little further everyday,
I don't know how to stop it, or make these feelings go away.

It's almost like I'm being torn apart in two,  
I know what the right decision is, but I REALLY miss you!

I wonder if I just let go, and my mind slip free,
Will I get to be with you for all eternity?

I know that's not an option no matter how entice,
I couldn't do that to the ones I love cause they would pay the price.

So i guess I'll keep on trying, as hard as that may be
But please my darling angel boy, save a spot up there with you for me

</3

To my son Skyler Kane
RIP 07/2000 - 06/2003

There are no words to describe all the pain I fknow that's not l inside.
I'm falling deeper into myself and it's getting harder to hide.

The daily facade of fake smiles and cheer,
Will soon be replaced by overwhelming grief and fear.

I tried to be strong for as long as I could,
But keeping it all in has taken it's toll, as I knew it would.

I feel like there's no end to this misery in sight,
Almost been 10 years now, I'm losing my will to fight.

That day from hell left everyone involved physically, mentally and emotionally scarred.
But the loss of one so young and dear to us all, left this entire family forever marred.

I feel my mind slipping a little further everyday,
I don't know how to stop it, or make these feelings go away.

It's almost like I'm being torn apart in two,  
I know what the right decision is, but I REALLY miss you!

I wonder if I just let go, and my mind slip free,
Will I get to be with you for all eternity?

I know that's not an option no matter how entice,
I couldn't do that to the ones I love cause they would pay the price.

So i guess I'll keep on trying, as hard as that may be
But please my darling angel boy, save a spot up there with you for me

</3

To my son Skyler Kane
RIP 07/2000 - 06/2003

Always wondering if this is some kind of game,
Is kinda pathetic and really a shame.

I need you to realize, I need you to see...
If this is a game, you've beaten me!

The same questions repeat so this is the last time I'll ask.
Is it possible for us to move forward and let go of the past?

You say you're confused, you dont know what to do.
Its really quite simple...do you still love me like I love you?

It's hard to believe and I know you're concerned,
But things would be different, my lessons been learned!

How much longer do you think this can honestly wait?
How long can we do this before it's too late?

I think we both know the time has come
Its time to decide what is to be done.

So I take a deep breath and hold back the tears,
then I'll send this to you and face my worst fears.

*You will forever be "The man of my dreams, with the key to my heart"

I feel like i am goin insane
I know I'll never be the same.

You touched my heart and soul so deep
now they are yours to forever keep...

I wish I could turn back the hands of time
to when I was happy and you were still mine

I can't help feeling like you're love for me fades more each day
and you are slowly starting to push me away

If you want me to go please dont do it so slow.
The pain is more than i can take,
happiness is something I now have to fake

I hate that w/o trying you can hurt me so bad
Yet all I can do is think of what we once had

Every time we talk it makes my heart ache
Every time we dont talk it makes my heart break

Getting over you will be impossible to do
I will be sitting here forever loving you <3

I've always been able to walk away from anyone I ever knew
But no matter how hard I try, it's impossible to walk away from you.

I've never let anyone get this close to me
You crashed through the walls I built so perfectly.

I've tried to fight this feeling with every ounce of my soul
Now where my heart should be there's nothing but a ******* hole.

You truly possess the key to my heart
But you knew that already, its been yours from the start.

Close to 15 years since our love first bloomed
How can it feel so right and at the same time so doomed?

Lost you already two times before
There's no way my heart can take much more!

The agony each time gets more and more terrible
But baby this time it's ******* unbearable!!

How's it so easy for you to just walk away
And I can't stop feeling like I die a little more each day.

How's it so easy for you to just not care
Yet I'm still madly in love, this just doesn't seem fair.

How's it so easy for you when we don't talk at all
Every time my phone rings, I pray it's your call.

How's it so easy for you to pretend there never was an us*
How was it so easy for you to get on that **** bus.

Please tell me how you do it,
Give me some guaranteed advice.

Please call me if you wanna talk,
Man that'd be so freaking nice.

Why's it so hard to convince myself to give up my fight,
And why do I still say "Sweet Dreams" to you every single night.

Why's it so hard not to think of you all the time,
Loving someone this much must be a crime.

Why's it so difficult for me to just say goodbye,
Just the thought of it brings a tear to my eye.

Why's it so hard to accept that I know we are thru,
Yet it's not hard at all for me to say "I Love You".

Invisible tears are the hardest to wipe away.
I miss you more and more with every passing day.

I lie to myself saying it will get easier with time.
Forever knowing I should've realized what I had while you were still mine.

Undeniably handsome with a breathtaking kiss,
Hypnotic eyes, sweet tenderness.

Incredibly **** with a captivating smile,
You always know just what to say to make the hard times seem worth while.

Amazingly passionate, Unbelievably smart,
The man of my dreams with the key to my heart! <3