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T Zanahary Nov 2012
Pacing strides left a man
etching a phrase into the linoleum,
dull yellow, the world gleamed
from a single bare bulb,
resembling either an idea
or afterthought,
strung up to illuminate
this small world.
Each step accidental
he strung together a verse
he would never read,
letters laid down
as eyes were always fixed
above the cabinet door
sitting slightly askew,
paint chipped away at the corners
and the inevitable banshee screech
of tortured hinges choked by rust,
or the faucet with its loose handle
and stains of hard water
dripping to the rhythm
to which he walked,
unbeknownst to him.
Pacing turned to past time
when the energy died down,
steps forward holding neared stilled
in comparison to the mind
set at a running pace.
In each step,
meaning was lost to him,
setting down his soul with thinning rubber,
the plastic giving way
after years of playing that solemn bass,
a nightly monotonous melody.
Circles would have been better,
a truer glimpse of a cramped mind,
though the message of his walking
in waking
would have been lost to the pattern.
His line suited him better,
unfortunately he has yet to read it,
always keeping his head high,
forgetting to tuck his chin
to defend himself from those thoughts.
Breaking down around him,
his home holds but essentials
yet is still somehow cluttered.
There’s always a rustle
when the draft slips through the walls,
a constantly changing mosaic of light,
his shadow helps to paint the opposite wall,
where the only figure is the outline
of some long forgotten photograph,
an image he refuses to hold any longer.
The aire is refreshed
by a new batch of memories
floating in on the wind.
He misses the messages he’s laid out,
and his pacing fails to falter
when he’s stripped of all remembering.
If only he could sink low enough
to look down,
but experience has taught him
to hold high with every stride a must.
If he let down his guard
his defenses would be up,
the time would slow in dusty gears
and it would bring his hand
around to face the thoughts of
the circling becoming linear.
A second’s skip would detract,
all rot and decaying
what precious little was left,
though he’d soon be back to a missed step,
each foot accidentally placed
in a purposeful stride.
Unbeknownst to him,
his rhythm’s left behind a message,
flickering fluorescent reflects
the dull yellow verse
carved into the linoleum.
His pacing has stopped,
feet now carrying away
the jumbled thoughts,
walking out the door
the distraction his head held in place
allowing the buzzing bulb to continue.
Realizing,
returning,
he happens a quick glance
in the last light of the fading night,
flipping the switch he misses
his words worn to wood,
“We are all alone,
but rarely are we forgotten.”
T Zanahary Nov 2012
Sunrise nearing its death,
the end of today
complementing the beauty of a pen stroke,
harsh scratching alleviating indelible ideas
showing selves in hues painting our last moments
allowing me to trace timelines
in the contoured caresses
of this silent instrument played
to blend melody with beginnings,
each progression scaling further along
the passing hours left settling
to minutes from now,
purpose elaborated in contrasting
blues and oranges and purples
composing the elegance of utility,
colors not enough to excise the excesses
of depicting days in dimensions,
of simplifying it to degrees of time.
Laying alongside this current
to shape clouds
and animate constellations,
my faux-corpse stares again into
the memory held in galaxies
only glimpsed at twilight.
Sharp cuts of consonants
and vowels' smoothed corners
try to rid me of
stream of conscious thinking loosed,
the inner struggle hoping for reprieve
from that constant combative nature
of inward disagreement
and dialectic digression
deflecting the question of
what if we'd only spoke
instead of being lost
to foreign type-faces designed by
some soul never to see
the dying day my way.
If only we'd spoke,
I would have had the chance
to stumble on a goodbye.
Rather we are left
to flourishes of unfamiliar weapons
sitting askew on these pages,
the balance shifted due to
us degrading to another's personality,
and writing out those lines
we couldn't come to say.
T Zanahary Nov 2012
Introducing her life
to my collapsing passages,
her breath helped drag out
a muddled flow of words,
all lethargy and nonsense
questioning love and life
with time the matter
of the minor degrees.
Saving me a piece at a time,
I was a patchwork
of stitches and scars,
this new clot
far from my last ailment,
it was held tight chested,
airways left strictly one-way.
Coughing out bits
used only to express loss
and the truer side
of life/time obsessions,
diaphragmic convulsions
leaving my head dizzy
and directions a confusing mess
of the simplicity of four rights,
to end up going the wrong way
down one-lane streets,
falling behind the wake, trying to chase
flashing lights, no way to fast track
to her side, I'm afraid she's been lost.
Unable to attend the viewing,
I missed even the chance
to see her in that
moment of peace
that never was her style.
Snapping in and out,
concentration casting clouds
on concrete I'd not recognized
a failing of reality,
or whatever we're calling this,
just knew that it brought about
imaginary friends and these invisibles
that play their parts, pushing pens
for those whose reality
was too far from truths
and had lost everything,
yet still couldn't
push forward that pain,
expose it so as to be free again,
preferring it cradled 'gainst their breast,
feeding it heart's ache.
Never do they release themselves of truth,
allowing the absence of this intensity
to control their propensity
down to the air they breath.
I got lucky, having her
return to deliver rescue breaths,
for with her,
inspiration died and
in its place came paradise
in invisible's covert creation.
T Zanahary Nov 2012
Let me learn the crests and valleys,
this mapwork work of your skin,
find beauty in every vitiated inch
most see as flawed, but I know
naturally formative of experience.
Allow me next to you
on Mars' sacred arid landscape,
finding hidden rivers
and reflecting pools
to hold our memories.
Permit me that smile
creeping across your lips
as you walk through night skies,
picking bouquets of flowering stars,
freshly in bloom
and neatly wrapped
in comets' tails.
Holding your image carefully,
I've tucked you away
between brainwaves,
safe from the deep sleep of time,
figuring your figure
too precious for decay.
And though you've privileged passage,
I am plagued with hands unable
to run their familiar tracks,
watching cascades of violet twilight
run through my fingers,
down that nook behind ears
I'd whisper sweet everythings into,
taking off at your neck
just as we let the music
open our shells.
Setting out as astral projections
our dances innately elemental,
yet intricate,
all spirits and gods we'd cross
rapt in our movements.
And in an instant
we'd finished,
pirouettes had you engulfed
in a dress-skin fusion,
drifting into a ravishing
black hole finish
as I'd burnt out,
causing time to split this mind,
both sides struggling to grasp
which course I'd been carried to.
Left back wishing for some insight
on your skin's stunning topography,
searching for those pools
in which I can wonder
what you ever did
with those bouquets you'd made,
and wishing that
I didn't have to wait
to see if this time
will lead me down a different path.
T Zanahary Oct 2012
Everyday I am born to gods relaying
lineage through winged messengers.
****** radiance enkindles immaculate retinas
in solar flares
and picturesque mornings' idolatry.
Tones entrancing, blue jays
or northwest mockingbirds,
their range of majestic differences
eluding attentive innocence,
elation ebbs to pain's perpetual flow,
streaming hypno-suggestive claims
finding me inexorable
to beliefs I've not died.
Impassioned voices usher me through,
by mid-day I've learned
to speak their tongues,
strange hisses
and twisting trebles
an attempted appeasement for
conforming to continued cyclical living,
instinct selection seeking final detention,
rebirth a trapped evolutionary trait.
Dreading each twilight,
coping through whichever maiden
may allow my musings
to conform to her form
for the night,
overlapping until I
am but a shadow
dominated by her presence,
her brilliance illuminating every scar
of the side perpetually left
to the dark,
enlightenment held
in the warmth of her touch
until she too
falls beneath the horizon.
Sun setting upon this silhouette
and whispering tomorrow
in stagnant sleep speak,
settling to sacrifice's sufficience.
I fear this rest.
Gleaning premise from barbaric genealogy
qualitated as residual spatial pandemic,
leaving this life cycle
reduced to just one more death.
T Zanahary Aug 2012
Standing beneath black skies' hush,
cold rains' fall a stimulating touch
bringing rise to forbearance
forcing stormcells to pressured positions
above our expanse.
These words escape to nothing.

Thick air mixed in
with each vowel of smoke,
straining to glimpse beyond
those choked fragments.
I caught your shadow
skirting the edge of visions
and slipping past my bounds.
You were cloaked in millennia,
time soaked from downpours
seemingly lost of origins,
be they long past
or still forecast,
you were,
falling drops rolling
from silken hair
still bruised in memory,
forgoing present presentation
to reacquaint opportunity
with overlooked encounters.

Soaked to soul,
the ripples spread quick
stepping to the plane of...

...wait,
where are you...

when are we...

...will you be?..

...or have we been
lost in relativity
and escaping in
each word I breathe.
Comprehension critical,
compassionate clouds constantly
reminding of drowning you out,
professing this changing view
in hallowed hurricane whispers.

An angel you became,
living upon these grounds
your plague, living on,
earthly existence anathema,
each second foreword
another progression of
decreeing beating heart
a final concerto, Ava Maria
your soliloquy, serenading
dreams in a missing tongue,
with dying tone
and a pulse set out for loan.
Loneliness my investment,
appreciating until the light was blinding,
pain breaking anthems,
scaling back to feed off
what was left.

I missed our true nature until it was reflex,
illumination only brief glimpses of a passed future,
grief developing to timelines sutures,
bleeding blending was
and has,
with will be still the memory
I'm forced to foresee.

Broken in neutrality,
droplets still caressing the shadow
skirting the corner of my eye.
Your life was short,
I let us die far too young.
Consider it your sacrifice,
the reason for the crying clouds
whose pain soothes these brainstorms
vented through cigarette breaks
wasted pouring words
to howling winds.
T Zanahary Aug 2012
Let's start with two eggs,
bacon sizzling, cooling, ate,
three pieces left for another,
why not a third egg before
my moment of solitude.

The beginning, boredom
always creeping ivy slow,
taking hold between the strength
of my resolve.

Let's start with two shots,
eyes blurring, focus, blur,
three-fourths left to drown out another,
why not one more
to soothe my solitude.
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