I hate the phrase
"Stay Strong"
Because I am not weak
When I am at a low point in life
I am not weak when I skip a meal
I am not weak when my fingers slip down my throat
I am not weak when I dig a blade into my skin
Because weak human beings
Don't have enough courage
To destroy themselves the way I do

Songs of past generations play
Bringing smiles to faces
That know the tunes so well
Taking them back in time

Back to when they where the young
The ones that caused the trouble
And made the grown ups shake their heads
And question the future

Someday that will be me
Remembering my childhood
And teen years of glory
I hope to smile like that someday.

The hols in his shoes
His ruffled hair,
The way he's so jumpy
A sweatshirt never changing,

The ***** shirt
That also holds blood stains
From fights past,
Holes in the knees of his pants,

His foul language
The anger beneath the surface,
Scars dealt by others
All of this and more,

His kind eyes
The glowing smile
A warm hug
His ringing laugh

All of this and more
Is why I stay,
Stay with him here
All of this and so much more.

Embracing, I am glad to see you,
See you again after all this time
Knowing it will be long till again
We see each other,

Picking up where we left off
Like no time had elapsed
The way you smile,
It makes my heart sing

People might thing us a couple
The way we act together
But that doesn't bother us
Let them think what they want,

This friendship, this bond,
It's something special
And as little as our paths may cross
It is something I will always remember.

Your mouth
could do
brutal
things
to my
heart
but you’re a
risk
I’m willing to
****
because I have a feeling
your hands
would do
beautiful
things
to my
thighs.

My greatest dream
And my worst nightmare is the same person
My last thoughts will be him
My last words, his name
Always on my lips
I whisper it
I scream it
Knowing once he answers
My world will be whole again
And  everything will be okay.
I hold on to his name like an amulet
But what if he doesnt answer me anymore ?

Winter is a beautiful season
The way the snow lands on the skeletal trees
The glistening icicles hanging from the roof
The lazy days staying cuddled in blankets with hot chocolate
But my favorite thing about winter
Is no one asks why I wear a sweatshirt
Giving me the perfect chance
To create more scars on my arms

I scream your name
At the top of my lungs
But you never answer
Not even with the smallest whisper
I'm starting to realize
That you stopped caring
And that I need to just give up