Secrets I must keep
Secrets I do hide
All of these are locked away
Never to reveal themselves,

Not every secret is necessary,
But I've grown a habit
Of telling nothing
Not even trivial things.

From this grew a mask
One I was unaware of,
People don't see me
They see a falsehood

I must tear this mask from my face
Free myself
Breath,
live --

But old habits die hard,
And I sink back
Away to where it's safe,
Where I'm nobody

What I am will be a shock,
It's time to cast away the veil
And let this world see
I'm nothing like they thought I was.

Embracing myself at last
The comments made now
Are from friend who don't know,
They mean well, so I tolerate

I'm shy of my body
But I've grown to love it
After all, it is me --
Should I not love myself?

I'm a bird free from captivity
Though still wary
I'm more free that I've ever been,
I will not be thrown back into that cage

Having only reached 99 pounds
I carry myself in silent confidence,
My weakness is my strength
I won't let it hold me back

I'm taller for a girl
Now grown to womanhood
I've gone this far,
Let's see just how far I can go.

The thigh gap,
The small waist,
Media tells us it's perfection
But how could this be?

What happened to Marilyn Monroe?
I look nothing like her
But more of the modern perfection,
This cures I've lived with is beauty?

They say they wish they had my body,
Fine, take it and go threw hell,
I don't want this
I never asked for it.

But shouldn't I be glad to have this?
Why would anyone want it?
My ribs show like I'm starving,
My wrists are too small

I don't understand
But isn't it about time,
Time that I loved myself
For the way I am? It is.

A shadow on the wall,
I have become that,
Something few to none notice
I'm content at this state

For now I am the silent
The innocent one I am
I'm sweet and smart
People pay me no heed

But still I dress to conceal,
Not too loose, not too tight
To loose and I drown in fabric
To tight and I get mocked.

Will they let me be?
Can I break out and become
Something worth while
Now that I'm no logger taunted?

We'll see as high school passes
Am I still hated for my body?
I don't want to be silent anymore
I've built myself into a cage and I want out.

Looking at my clothes
I pick what I shall wear carefully,
The first day of middle school
Is something I'm dreading.

Maybe they will have forgotten
That I'm so dreadfully thin,
Perhaps they won't notice
If I wear this sweatshirt

But what is the use?
Words like anorexic and bulimic
Haunt my ears
I can't escape this hell.

The next few years
Will they carry on like this?
If I shrink and hide,
Will they not see my anymore?

Keeping silent is the key
I've slowly been forgotten,
An occasional glare is thrown
But I can live with that.

The glare from another's eye
Seeps into my back
Though I'm just a little girl
I know hate as well as anyone else

Everyday the jeering goes on
The comments don't stop,
I go home and throw things
In anger I don't know what to do with.

The doctors say I'm underweight
They fret and panic about --
I know I'm fine the way I am
Why can't they see that?

But it is no use,
I haven't gained an ounce.
My mother told them it wouldn't work
But then never listen,

A little girl hated
By her peers for physical appearance,
A thing she cannot help,
The venom of jealousy begins to flow.

An etching, a sin
Some may call it
Of the Devil,
A mark of damnation

Carved into your skin
For all to see
Who will reside in hell
While others dream in heaven

A splash of ink
A bit of color
Not natural at all,
But vibrant

A work of art
A sign of community,
A bonding
Unlike any other

This is not a blasphemy
But a showing
Of the bright colors
In your soul.

The colors fly in his eyes
Colors that I cannot see,
But he tells me they are there
That each one is right in front of him

I reach out to him
Taking his hand in mine
What brought him to this?
This place so dangerous and low.

His glazed eyes find mine
And we hold for a moment
A smile illuminates his face
All I can do is smile back

This walk in the woods
Was meant to be sweet,
But now I sit here beside him
Holding a cloth to his head.

He brings up a little mushroom
And stares at it in wonder,
How could such a little plant
Hold so much destructive power?

He didn't even see it
The rocky drop that took him down,
Fractals blinded his vision
And I was left to watch in horror.