Give me a fresh *** of your nips.
Ehh?? Give me a ******* turnip!
I went to Peterborough, came from Marrakech,
Which one should I rip to flesh?
In summer I love to chew icicles,
Whatever! It’s to die for!
I rode a bike and had a stew,
Never mind this poem, go and have a poo.

She drives me crazy!
That little care-free Jalfrezi.
You see where I’m going with the curry?
‘Course you don’t, you’re ******* vindaloo!
Who the **** are you?
And as for Tarka Daal and Argy Bargy?
If they ever get off the carzy we might be able to talk.
So are you ******* listening?
She drives me crazy!
Both of you are too stupidily lazy,
Nor are you like Jalfrezi.
Re-arrange; re-word the last two lines?
Yeah right, I’m Mr Lazy.

Lucky Strikes and Mangos,
Which one would be good at the tango?
SPANDANGO!
Indulge with them at a watering hole.
Intolerance placed on smoking fruitiers,
Intolerance placed on back-packing Reindeers.
Both come up close,
But always fish off long piers.

Burning arms mean no harm,
They’re gentle, soft, delicate,
Oh so wonderful.
She sat next to me on a friend’s sofa,
All I was doing was being a lofa,
Even still she was getting closer,
**** me I love her,
The ex is basically my brother,
I want to be her lover.
Risk of sounding corny,
I’ll change the story into something more boring.
I’m not fussed, don’t give a ****.
Sod your silly rhymes,
Moving onto better times,
Like ******* on limes.
How can I enjoy writing lines?
You’re supposed to snort them,
To be like real men,
Not you, you ******* hen.
There we go again, back with his pen.
Stab it in deep, right in your feet,
In the middle of the street.
You can’t decide nor go anywhere,
You’re stuck there.
All the pain you gonna bear,
All ‘cos you care!
It’s completely pointless,
No-one to say ‘ah-bless’,
You’re a ******* cunting mess.
What you gonna do?
Sit there and stew, squirm like a *****,
Say *******! Say *******!
That’s what to do,
It’s all down to you.
So get on with your boo-hoo’s,
Stand up and fight,
Don’t ever lose the sight,
You might just, you might!

Alligator! Alligator! Alligator! Alligator!
Bite me whole and take me to space.
Staple my **** and spaz my face,
Plaice defrosting in the refrigerator.

These things all seem to come together,
Throw them far apart will be for the better.
I hate this ******* verse,
‘cos it all rhymed from Alligator!

Mountain hill ranges,
Goes on for ages.
Goats eating strangers,
Like dogs in mangers.
Back-stabbing bears in cages,
All through the dark ages.
Dying off in stables,
Evil continues his rages.

Wake up it’s a beautiful morning,
like the infinity of a closed chain;
lists keep growing, brain-freeze again.
As long as there’s tomorrow, not today.

Succinct intentions imprinted by a hoot;
how can a sub-conscious refuge,
de-commission the projected truth?
A 24-hour religion, is that all it is?

So which way is it to be tomtom?
Intrepidation never failing,
or honour ‘the’ grand unveiling?
Side-step: back to back-warming Oracle.

Pride appoints a distilling of hidden stature;
forget the dentistry of a mounted gift,
sensitivity not deserving an emotional spendthrift.
No mentions of a game, but you have to play.

Rationalising the intensity of late;
surely that’s an impossibility of squirming feet?
Solution follows a tryst of the elite,
subjects must therefore be; for it to make sense.

Periodic patterns of revolving chrome-vanadium,
lends itself nicely to discontentment
and occasionally promotes relinquishment;
summer sun; does it matter?

Survival make-up – check.
Abrupt journey’s end; in your face.
An odyssey not started yet, offers no grace.
Relax, the God’s haven’t even begun their terror.

The bottom of a barely coping universe it might just be;
Curious are the similarities to sinking sand.
Submerge as you extend your hand?
Or do I just simply do nothing, and nothing happens?

Rat-out the analytical introspection monster;
For when you can see your own reflection in a black-hole;
A bonus penalty shot at life’s ultimate goal;
Then a neutered Neutron star is a good thing to be.