The years I've spent with bruises
My blood has run thin
Climbing up to nothingness
I let go and fell in
The impact of the ground
The lifeless look in my eyes
Breathing without a soul
Unable to cry
No will to move forward
So broken on the inside
That my outside is shattered
But no one can see that I've died
No emotion to show
No mood that I feel
I can only feel the
emptiness
Questioning if I'm even real
If I've died years ago
And my life is flashing through my eyes
If I'm deep beneath the earth
But still not alone enough to cry
I can't feel drained
Only haunted by despair
Never knowing happiness' pull
It doesn't get better
It only starts to rest
Then comes back stronger
Taking what emotion you have left
To be able to cry this one time
To have an emotion there
To shed a tear only once
To feel an emotion other than despair

Spending every minute
Cutting open the skin
For twenty-four hours
Wanting the life to end
Cutting away the hurt
The blood continues to trickle
I let out a small laugh
Because the sting starts to tickle
Deeper as the seconds pass
The blood falling to the floor
Waiting for my heart to stop
Not feeling the pain anymore
The blood pours and I pass out
But the happiness soon ends
That I'm dead and far from the pain
And I'm in pain again
The razor didn't do its job
Because I'm still here
Cutting open my old scars
And bringing back the old tears
I cut even deeper
Farther than ever before
But I'm still here
Alive on the floor
The small blade let me stay
So I pull out my knife
I start to stab at my heart
Hoping it ends my life
The cold metal stabs through me
My blood starts to drain
Soon I won't have to hurt
And I'll be away from the pain

I should have kept my feeling locked away
I shouldn't have let you in
I should have kept telling the lie
I shouldn't have showed the marks on my skin
I should have kept crying alone in the dark
I shouldn't have unlocked the door
I shouldn't have told you anything
I should have stayed on the floor
Now the tears stream down my cheek
You said you wouldn't leave me alone
The you let me die like the rest of them
Because of the marks I shouldn't have shown
The thoughts of it getting stronger
But there isn't a quick enough way to leave
Alone until I can find the way out
And there are no lies to believe
Until that time can come
I have to sit and cry
Trapped by my own thoughts
Not wanting to but still trying to die
Breaking the veins and bones
Just to lose a bit of pain
Then the hurt gets worse
So bad that it won't drain
Shattered from trusting
Broken from tears
Heart forever bricked up
So that no one else can hear
Trust now a dream
A wish that won't come true
No clear point in trying
Done with what I've been through
Fine with just dying
And letting it all go
So that I won't have to be afraid
Of letting the emotions flow
Your smile cut me deep
But I needed it more and more
I needed you while I cried
And you left me on the floor
The 9mm at my temple
You didn't notice the red
The splatters on the wall
You never knew I was dead
You took my happiness from me
And left despair in my soul
You robbed me of everything
So I would think you made me whole
To play with my emotions
And make me mark my skin
Is your definition of love
I'm better off without friends

Alone for all these years
Stuck breathing pain
The cold in your heartbeat
Covered in blood stains
The hate in the eyes
The windows to the soul
Showing everything you've been through
The happiness they stole
Years of fighting demons
Unable to take catch a breath
Bruises covering your body
Thinking of what time is left
Beating at the mirror
Hating what you see
The darkness has your mind
So that's what you believe
The voices never stopping
The smile finally fades
Done telling the lie
As you look at what the cold made
Sleeves and bracelets to the elbow
Struggling to hide the skin
Hiding all the wounds
Until it's time for the end