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Here I sit, once again
On the window sill
Clutching the wood, golden auburn
Perched like a tiny bird
That feels so insignificant, so belittled
Under this colossal, ever unfolding sheet
Of universe.

Stars are so distant, yet so close
And there, that forsaken one
Stationed aloof…
At surface, a blue icy cold stone
Yet struggling against that frenzied sea of black
And shining_ the brightest, radiating warmth
Lively gem among stones.

Night skies were always silent
Right from the day I learnt to consider
And even today they are all the same
Reeling under that mysterious still silence…..
Yet at times
The cold lull betwixt the stars- yelps
And I feel a stir
Right within this tender bowl of emotions
Something arousing, blustering
Causing ripples, tides even
Agony incarnated!

And I want to scream
Scream my lungs out
Out of each drop of my blood
From every inch of my being!

But have to settle down upon
Consoling myself
Upon choking suppressed moans
Lip biting silent cries
& melting mellifluous stars….!

While, disarmed, by my casement
I bear on, reclined.
In this all encompassing darkness
Hope turns to despair
Not a single ray of light gleams
Deafening silence pervades…

Only wolves are heard
Mourning death
But of whom…?

O father!
Protect me
For I cannot bear
This sullen, sickening air
Stinking!!!
With the pungency of rotting flesh
Of humanity.

I see headless zombies
Stamp bullet ridden chests
Amid pools of blood
Leaving a gory trail…

No father! No!
I dare not look beyond
For this ‘Ghastly Spectacle’
Blurs my vision!
Restless souls.
Caged in glass cabins,
And sprouting steel rods
Encase brittle skeletons
Writhing upon mute white sheets
Beneath a hostile white sky
White curtains, white tubelights, white aprons, white walls
And gradually whitening eyes.
Have I not seen enough of white now?

Here, where once again
Life hangs in a mesh of wires, transparent tubes, beating monitors.
Where existance is a hoax
Of fluctuating lines, blue and green,
Of limping dreams, unheard, unseen.

Everything is same, only roles are reshuffled.
Replete with frequent woes, of double ailments,
There are moments
Between two suns
When I am lost
In hollowness of being.
Wondering whether
"It is really beautiful to die together"
I planted a cherry tree
Four seasons back
In a morose rain
Pelting sharp upon nimble naked boughs
And rows, of wild berries
Running amuck in an unruly strain.

The tree is a full bloom now
Of white satin flowers
Swirling against a beaming blue

Tonight, as night keeps a vigil over my eyes
I get under my squally Cherry Tree
And suddenly I see it ailing
Sick old moon peeps through its branches
And I hear them crackle, not clear though
Moaning unobtrusive, through a wicked grin.
The moon lingers on long
Shining painfully in the womb of night.

I feel the stiffening wood coagulate in my veins
As blackness suffuses unbridled
In the cold wilderness of mind.

April never was summer in Kashmir
Look unto these dark skies
Those pierce the ether yet once more
Pelting mercilessly upon
The ailing, armourless beings
Whereby the cruel moon grins
And my heart wilts with each withering flower
Knocked down in the mud by
The unsparing shower.

Tears trickle down the smeared petals
And I collect them into my eyes
Till the plethora can no longer be contained
I let them fall
Into the capacious ***** of earth

And in this cruel April rain
My Cherry Tree shivers.
Moans. Weeps. Over me.

— The End —