You know when someone else ***** up
But you apologize first
Because being mad is too much effort
And you expect an apology back
But instead all you get is
"It's Okay"

Those seven letters make me think of seven more letters that describe my feelings for you:
"*******"

Spending the first minutes
Of the new year in
The shower
So I can cleanse myself
Of all the **** that happened
In 2014

No longer kissable
Not soft and plush
Cracked and sensative
Stinging inside
Layers ripped off
Simply unavoidable
Chapped lips are like my life

It's not that I want to die
It's that I don't want to live anymore
Because there's a difference
Dying is for people who don't have a choice
Not living is for people who are too fragile to care
I guess I'm a fragile one

My 1 am thoughts
Make me wonder why I try
To impress myself

It's scary to think
love comes with so much pain, but
No one stops loving

I didn't ask to be in pain 24/7
I didn't ask to watch myself crumble
I didn't ask to see myself shot
I didn't ask to be broken
I didn't ask to watch blood seep from my skin
I didn't ask to see you love someone else
I didn't ask for this
I didn't ask to live

When I was little
I could spin for hours
But now I get sick at the thought

When I was little
I was fearless
But now Im scared of myself

When I was little
All I wanted was to grow up
But now I want to rewind

Thinking is a funny thing
We never seem to stop
Even in our deepest sleeps
Our mind is full of thoughts

If sleep is for the weak...
Then why am I the one with dark circles and slow thoughts
That creep inside my head as the sun starts to stop

If sleep is for the weak..
Then why do I feel so afraid
To take a pill for sleepless nights
That my mind will fight and fight

The dolly on the mantle was placed there by my mother
Every time I touched the thing I received another
I don't think she realized I only want to play
But to her the dolly surely had to stay
One morning I noticed the dolly was simply gone
And I rushed to see my mother hitting someone
But instead I saw the dolly lying on the road
Next to my mother who never returned to our humble abode

Drip.
Drop.
To the floor.
See my blood pour and pour.
Pain is present and ignored.
For the love of blood is greater more...

Surrounding and consuming
It ties us down with tangled knots.
I haven't been captured, yet
I know it haunts my thoughts

It alludes to be a breezy deal
But beneath all the *******
Is a quite scary creature
That comes with a lot of luggage