I sleep too much and lose the day
not really sure what to say
imma spiraling chic lost and broken
so many words I should have spoken
like when you're here
drowned in fear
you remember the times that used to be
and how you had thought that you were free
these feelings were done
on with the fun
now its askew
not sure what to do
I just think of you...

drink drink drink
think think think
**** it all
I wont fall
so empty these days
and the feeling stays
like dunked in ink
so continue to drink
fill that void
or be destroyed
not sure what to do
but I think of you..

I guess we grew up
Maybe 'up ' became apart
but here between shifts
We're still smoking at my house
How much *** can you handle?

Over and over results the same
Burning alive in my own flame
Running away from me
Don't know how to be
Or feel
Or whats real

It's like a smile in the sunshine
Part of the day everythings fine
Explode with joy
Then destroyed
Sad and crying
Feel like dying

Now merge the two
and what do you do?
With that imploded heart
******* ripped apart
No balance no ground
In chemicals I drown
How do you smile with a frown
Emotions go round and round

Its like you grow up and move away
To play that game you're supposed to play
But no ones there when you're feeling blue
Alone in your new town, no one to talk to
So you turn to these cute things
Sweet boys with pretend angel wings
Who twirl up your heart strings like loose thread
Twist until they snap,  bleed out, left for dead
Now you're back where you started, a little worse for ware
Lost and spinning,  better pick YourSelf up, life isn't fair
This adult badge is one stained by sorrow
Gotta prove to the world you can make it to tomorrow

It likes to break in
Exude it's sin
Parasitic thoughts
And back up plots
I try to be good
Do what i should
But its dancing around me
**** its not easy
Impulses' a *****
******* crazy little twitch
Lock it away
Say i wont play
Darkened and cold
No one to be told
Of this icy cage
Lit up by rage
Electrified
Wish i could hide
But there's no escape i see
When the monster is me

Inside I'm on fire
Like I've never been higher
Can't believe how we've spent these nights
All lit up like Christmas lights

I think of you in words that rhyme
you're on my mind like all the time
these things I often wouldn't say
but apparently I feel this way

Just keep trying to get you out of my head
Or at the very least drag you back into bed

I'm running out of words for you
Because everything you say and do
Is simply magic through and through

Just wanted you to know
You fill me up until I overflow
And I never want to let you go

Needle and thread,  needle and thread
Makes me feel a little less dead.

I am fire
A pyre
Watch my flames grow higher
As you ignite me / excite me
Wonder if I could be
Alive like lightning
The idea is frightening
I'd bust open this skin
And **** the stars right in
Glow bright then flash
Burned down to ash

And I've got this sweet lil katt ~ Who does sweet lil things~
It's like I'm rolling around in sugar, and he's lighten up the world as he sings.

Old wounds bleed deeply
Purple blue bruises within
The decaying soul
Impulses and emptiness
How long can i live this way

They want you to talk.
Like your silence hurts them.
Not as if they wanna hear what you're thinking.

Play your words and say your game.
I just wish, to forget your name.

Sneaks up all quiet
Ambush then riot
Dizzy spin
Fire within
***** and tears
Unanswered fears
Laugh or cry
Try to defy
Numbed to the core
I can't feel anymore

I'm at that point where I'm lost in the chemicals.
The tabs to different pages in my head are transparent,  you always show through.
  I feel the weight of it in my lungs.
  It's burn like straight shots in my stomach.  There is no chaser for the taste of you,  and my lips still tingle.
With teeth clenched I avoid melting while you are not here to dissolve into. Although I'm starting to believe that's all I really want to do anymore.
I'm not sure how you managed to burrow so quickly, quietly,  deeply into my head.  I'm not even sure I mind..

How do you
See right through
My masquerade mask
I've been dying to ask..

I often think of you
who you are, and what you do
you're beautiful to me
don't care what others see

Drink your drugs and smoke your liquor
Whatever makes the blue pass quicker
We all have our little things
What matters is the end it brings

You reside behind my eyes
To say otherwise
Would be only lies

Ive forgotten me
not the one you see
the one I use to be

Ive floated too far away
don't even have words to say

They only give you wings, to watch you try and fly,  once they set them on fire.

I just want to run
jump right into the sun
Burn myself free
From this reality

Thats not me
And I can't be
A zombie sheep
That does not peep

Your timing is immaculate, I must say
Especially the fact, that you won't stay
When you're around i'm manic
Say too much and panic
Drink and smoke away
But in my mind you stay

**** me
Now
Love.

Why are we dancing?
I will swirl for you...
Forever.

I feel
The ash
In my soul

In the kisses
The touches
You leave me with.

Laughing

They won't let me sleep
Too many ******* questions
I don't plan your life
Move your own **** chess pieces
I watched my calm slip away

I sit back in the galaxy of my mind
I swirl the thoughts , to see what I find.
Pinks and blues
Exuberant hues
Displaced fears.
Backward mirrors.
Pastry quotes
Tied round my throat

Fractures deep
The occasional squeak
Of another me
Possible reality.
The ebb and sway
Of my fray

Here I find
I lose my time

Watch it in the insecurity of how she talks to me.  Those eyes big and nervous looking up, hoping you're not gonna bite.  In how she smiles too big,  talks too loud,  over compensating.  The puppy that wants your friendship,  yet smells your distaste and still they wag their tail..  ? Looking up to some ******* phantom their ****** ******* perception sees as 'something.  Anything that widens the pupil,  whatever minor chemical entices the imagination to believe in the power of a ******* mangled and destroyed fairy,  just pretending they have armor. .
.. I am heartless.  . '

And if the bakery burns me down.
I would not frown .
I would not cry.
I might not die.
Phoenix flames.
And baker claims.
The ovens bite.
The kitchen fights.
But baker ***** I be
And the kitchen flow is me.

I left you my heart.  
Imma fill that ******* void.
With bad decisions.

When they encroach upon my silence with empty , directional eyes. Black circles signifiying our similarities..
How can you dismiss the death of dreams...

Reality is unkind to us.
We just pretend life is legit.

You are the light house
I am the sea
When I drift away from you
You shine your light for me.

My little fox
Who often trots
To hellish land
Where time is bland
I wish to steal
To worlds unreal.
**** above.
I'll be your dove .
Fly away
To other days.
Why be real??,,

And in the death of dreams who are we? Where do we run when our minds are empty or broken? What keeps your skull form the blissful thoughts of slamming into brick walls?
When the algebra of reality is expressed real unto you, how do you retaliate and protect yourself?
Forever Questions sink into the cracks of  fortitude and erode .

The long hours of insomnia and the emptiness of the lost. The heavy pain of ever moving. The mind that cannot hold time . The ever tired and half hopeless .

Contentment in the web of our perceived reality.
But the irritant of a false perfection will Drive us mad in the end.

I'm made of magic
It's ******* tragic
You can't affect me.

Life's ******* crazy
It's truly amazing
You still wanna doubt me

Rainbows and kittens
I'm ******* smitten
With making it all a muck

Spray your malice
I have miss Alice
And I don't give a ****